Sunday, January 26, 2014

dear tavin

photo from daffodils&earthworms

i haven't slept in 36 hours
& the world swims like a cup of water spilled
on a still wet canvas

earlier,
i couldn't get warm after
dozing off a moment on the concrete
& it sucked

all the heat from my body.
the ice left in the coolers after the all the drinks were gone
didn't melt building a small berg in the parking lot.

i talked to several hundred people
in two hours as they waited in line, one was a West Virginia fan
& regional director of WalMart.

we ran out of barbecue when the 300th lb. was bought,
leaving 20 or so people without.

some paid anyway

& after all, it's quiet now,
all the trash in a pile: posters, cans, plates, plastic bags,
empty bottles of sauce. chairs wait patient to be taken
to the closet.

your future dad & i sit on thin carpet stairs in the back.
we don't talk about your twisted legs,
that you've been confined to a crib since birth because of them,
labeled an outcast cripple unworthy of society
or a gentle touch, destined to die
in a mental hospital for physical deformity

unless adopted, but

these don't cause the tears in his eyes,
they are a joy
                   they are a joy
because soon
you will learn the meaning of 'home'
is not alone,
                
                     hold on.

for Poets United

Friday night into Saturday I helped a good friend prepare for a fundraiser in order to raise money for the adoption of a child. We cooked 300 pounds of meat---and sold out in less than 2 hours. It was crazy, in a good way and they raised quite a bit more toward their goal. You can read more about Tavin here.

I rewrote this one numerous times...maybe i am just too tired or too close to it. I dunno.

104 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Such a sad story about the couple. But the success of the fundraiser is just awesome.

Mary said...

So glad that Tavin will have a home. And wonderful that so many people were out there for the fund raiser making this possible. Somehow I think legs are fixable, more fixable than hearts that hurt. But somehow I think this little boy will be ok!

DJan said...

Thank you for doing this, Brian. I will go read the story about Tavin now. It would be way too easy to get too close, I hear you.

Betsy Brock said...

I can't get his sweet face out of my mind. :) I'm sure every day your friends feel the urgency to save him grow. Can't even imagine. When that day comes, I want another post. Maybe a photo of him on your knee, ok?

mail4rosey said...

I'm headed over to read about the gorgeous little boy. I'm glad the fundraiser was such a success!! It's nice to be a part of something for the little ones, I know first hand. Wishing the child a happy future.

Björn said...

I'm amazed about the goodness of people like you Brian,.. I so hope that his hope will be towards something new... I would like this to end well. There are so many good people still so much sadness in the world.

Susan said...

Haven't visited the links yet because of the tears. Undisguised joy and relief is my favorite reason for them. I could no longer do the all nighter but I remember that drive and passion and giving. Bless you.

Gloria Baker said...

what sweet he is and has these sad eyes but will be OK with your friend!! Thanks for make this Brian, I think is lovely you make I will read about Tavin!!
xxx

kaykuala said...

Hopefully he'll be ok. There are many putting their hearts into it so it might just work! Nicely Brian!

Hank

aspiritofsimplicity said...

It is truly amazing what human beings are capable of when we join together for a single cause. I think when we see something so wonderful happening we cannot help but be burdened by the damage we do as well. Sometimes it's hard not to be disheartened by the overwhelming evidence that we do so much more harm than good. When I read your poem I was restored with goodwill.

Gabriella said...

I enjoyed your poem, Brian, and I am glad Tavin will soon have a place he can call home where he will feel welcomed.
I am sure your friends were thankful for such an outpour of generosity.

mindlovemisery said...

I am so happy that Tavin has a home what a beautiful poem. Though I am sorry to hear about the lack of sleep!

R.K. Garon said...

Very well written. I do like your style and pictures (the color of your words :-)
ZQ

Vandana Sharma said...

Well they say : charity begins at home: and its he best thing to do.

Robert Bourne said...

to reach out in anyway to another human beings is one of the strengths we have ..you just have to choose to do it...great poem Brian

humbird said...

Wow, Brian, it is so generous of you to help your friend to do this fundraiser for adoption! to give the hope, the save one almost lost soul to die...~ Look at his eyes, as if he understands what is going on...Thanks!

alan1704 said...

excellent, when you can touch a life and give a little hope. Powerful write and a lesson to us all.

Claudia said...

oh i hope they will soon be able to take him home... and very cool that you helped your friend with the work.. it just terrifies me what destiny would await him if your friends wouldn't adopt him and my heart bleeds for the kids that are in a similar situation and not so lucky.. just can't believe that things like this still happen in our "civilized" world...ugh

Holy Ghost Writer said...

Great that the fundraiser was such a success

WabiSabi said...

Bravo!! For the poem.... for the fundraising... for the love... for the passion!!! :)

Myrna R. said...

They say when we observe one person do a kindness, good chemicals are released in the body of the observer. Thank you Brian. For your kindness.
I am so glad the fundraiser was successful. Blessings to Tavin and all those children. Now, get some rest.

Pat Hatt said...

Awesome that the fundraising sold out quick
Hopefully they'll get him lickity split
And give him a grand home
Where such strifes never again roam

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh Brian, what a story. God bless people like you and your friend, who care. I love the tears - of joy, of joy - in the eyes of this soon-to-be-dad. A fill-your-heart-up story, so well told.

Kathryn said...

Sounds like an amazing event. That 'hold on' at the end of this felt like a punch to the gut. Really got me.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy that the fundraising was a wild success.

Mama Zen said...

It's beautiful and real, Brian.

anthonynorth said...

So sad a post. Full of emotion, and rightly so. Excellent.

Daniel said...

You're a good man my friend. Let's hope this all pays off.

Ankita said...

You have a beautiful soul Brian..Tavin is blessed to have people like you around him. I am so happy for Tavin...God bless him.

grapeling said...

kudos, Brian. good work, pen and action both ~

Leovi said...

Undoubtedly you put your finger on the pulse of our society, welfare unbalanced!

annell said...

A very touching piece. I hope he will find his home soon.

^.^ said...

... somehow makes me remember, when I had my babies ... so tired ... but still checking on my cattle mummas and babies every for hours in mid winter Canada ... one day ... my own little ones came running to the barn to check on me ... it was -30C below ... I cried so hard ...

annotating60 said...

I thought this really touching Brian, even before I read your explanation. There were many permutations of its significance turning in my head as I read through. Nice of you to do what you did. >KB

Valerie said...

Brian, I followed your link to read about Tavin and I thank God there are people like you who will DO something for him and others like him. It's heartbreaking to read about the poor children and what they have to suffer, but knowing you and others are out there to help lifted my spirits. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nataša Dolenc said...

brings tears to my eyes.

Jim said...

Powerful

Jim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maniparna Sengupta Majumder said...

Oh ! It's so nice of you Brian to help out for such a wonderful cause. God bless you all :-)

Stephen Hayes said...

I'm off to visit the link now.

Maggie Grace said...

How wonderful life will be for Tavin knowing love at such a young age...that people care enough to rescue him and protect him from an uncaring world, it seems for the most part. You are amazing...always helping or caring about others.

awakenedwords said...

it is often easy to forget how many good people there are in this world. thank you

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh, that's just lovely. We need to hear the good stories.

hedgewitch said...

Very moving and well told, bri. Best wishes to the new family and a new life for Tavin.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

I followed the links and it's heartbreaking what some kids have to suffer through. Best of luck to your friends and to Tavin.

Steve E said...

Song Lyrics:
"My bed was a concrete floor
it is SO friggin' cold
somebody please close the door
I'm just too dammm old..."

Brian, when you begin with, "i haven't slept in 36 hours..." I KNOW this is from "Brian's Book of Life Stories". One is just better than another, never same, never self-serving, always grabbing interest at once.

I got stopped at (and I'm still there--grin!) "...world swims like a cup of water spilled on a still wet canvas." I will sleep tonight with my final thought today of a world which is swimming! So close to reality--ooooh!

Bye, Friend!

Rachel said...

so, so wonderful. <3

Hudson Howl said...

Lost for words... leaves me thankful and hopeful that there exists those who do for those who would otherwise never have a shot at life.

Bing Yap said...

What a noble act for a child. It gladdens my heart to know that Tavin found a home. God bless his new family and all of you who helped.

Tara Miller said...

Your words here are beautiful and made me teary eyed. I think because of his sweet, sad eyes and to know how much his soon to be mom and dad already love him and want him home with them. It's so sad to think of the life he could have had and others will potentially have if not adopted. Much prayers for these children.

flaubert said...

What a lovely heartwarming piece of writing, Brian. Life affirming indeed, thank you for this. You are a blessing in the darkness, I live in at the moment.

Pamela

Truedessa said...

Brian,

You have such a good heart and soul
you do so much for those around you
your sons have an excellent role model in life. Peace to you and yours.

Hope this little guy has doors open
wide for him.

Sandy Carlson said...

You are an amazing friend. I am glad the fundraiser was successful. This is a haunting poem.

Slamdunk said...

Fantastic Brian. I left a comment at the linked blog as well.

Kamana said...

what a wonderful thing you did. so glad that this sweet boy will have a home soon.

Alice Audrey said...

this doesn't need any changes. It's perfect. You make the tears well in my eyes thinking of tavin and his plight and smile thinking of the good work being done on his behalf.

Cloudia said...

Sigh




ALOHA from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
=^..^= <3

ramblingsfromamum said...

You have me crying - especially the twisted legs, confined to crib… oh Brian what you have done for this family, your friends, is truly so generous and amazing. Tavin a beautiful little boy, who through the generosity of spirit will now have a loving home. You have helped to rescue a human being - a life and there is nothing in this world that is greater than that, Bless you and his new family for making a little boy's dream come true.

janaki nagaraj said...

Isn't it just wonderful to be cared and loved for? Hope the joy remains forever. Good luck to Tavin and his family.

Sadia Khan said...

Really sad, Brian... hope things work out well in his favor and he grows up really well ...

Liz Rice-Sosne said...

Your words were perfect. They truly moved me.

Tina said...

I re-read it several times because I have BRONCOS on the brain, and couldn't figure out what the sweet boy had to do with camping out for superbowl tickets...call me stupid. Then of course it all started to make sense, but I tried really hard make you distracting the new Dad with an adventure like that...sigh. I wish him well with his amazing new Dad. I'm very close to many families with adopted HIGH HIGH needs children and it's a brave and wonderful and loving thing he is doing. He'll be in my prayers.
Thanks for your support while I was gone. I was praying for you too. Is he better?
Tina @ Life is Good
A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2014
@TinaLifeisGood

Tina said...

I re-read it several times because I have BRONCOS on the brain, and couldn't figure out what the sweet boy had to do with camping out for superbowl tickets...call me stupid. Then of course it all started to make sense, but I tried really hard make you distracting the new Dad with an adventure like that...sigh. I wish him well with his amazing new Dad. I'm very close to many families with adopted HIGH HIGH needs children and it's a brave and wonderful and loving thing he is doing. He'll be in my prayers.
Thanks for your support while I was gone. I was praying for you too. Is he better?
Tina @ Life is Good
A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2014
@TinaLifeisGood

Lorraine Renaud said...

Dear Tavin, you couldn't have found better dads if you looked throughout the universe....
Brian you always give me hope, thanks my firend

Optimistic Existentialist said...

How wonderful that some people bought anyway, even after the 300 pounds were sold. And I loved the part about the tears of joy in his future dad's eye when you and him were sitting talking. Thank you for introducing us to Tavin Brian :)

ND Mitchell said...

Keeping it real as ever Brian. Really nice work.

Ygraine said...

Oh this honestly brought tears to my eyes...and then the final lines took my breath away.
I felt it in my heart...wanted so desperately to hug this beautiful little boy.
Oh I am speechless with emotion...

Stormcat Poetry said...

Brian you must feel honored to be involved in such a noble activity and to know the kind of people that are to become Tavin's parents.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

SO EXCITED for what is in store for Sweet Tavin! SO CLOSE! What a wonderful opportunity for you too to take part in bringing him home to FAMILY.

With the help of MANY family and friends we brought Sam home for much needed surgeries and intervention because of a variety of disabilities...and as you well know...he is PURE joy to us! SO THANKFUL!

Poet Laundry said...

Oh wow. What a beautiful boy...I hope he will soon be surrounded with much love. Quite moving Brian...bless y'all.

Grace said...

I am so touched by this Brian ~ What a wonderful & loving family he will soon have ~ Home indeed for the sweet angel ~

One A Day Tech said...

Giving hope is always rewarding :)

ladyfi said...

Wonderful news to hear that Tavin will have a new home! No child should ever have to grow up in an institution.

(I've got two adopted kids so know the feeling...)

Little Ms Blogger said...

I can understand why this one was hard to write. Things, people or situations so close to the heart, we often can't capture the emotion of a situation. It is easy to describe a beautiful sunset, but when flooded with multiple emotions at once is an entirely different thing. I'm happy you shared Tavin's story.

adeeyoyo said...

Dear, dear little Tavin... I hope life works out for him. I understand your difficulty in writing; there are some things words cannot express. Thank you Brian and to everyone who helps others...

Suza said...

Your words touch me, Brian. I come through Betsy's blog and I visited Steve's and Chrystal's as well.

I am hoping they are able to welcome Tavin into their family as soon as possible. He is already surrounded by so much love.

Your heart must have been very full sharing those moments with his father. What a gift that is. Blessings to you and to all those who are helping in this wonderful journey.

Suzanne

Elsie Amata said...

I'll hold Tavin in my thoughts and prayers. He deserves the very best. I'm glad the fundraiser was such a success.

AmyLK LK said...

what an amazing experience! Good luck to Tavin's parents! may he be home soon.

Hilary said...

That sweet little boy has a beautiful family and extended family of friends waiting for his arrival. May he have a long, healthy and happy life.. and may it happen soon.

Beautiful story. I'm so glad that the fundraiser went well.

Grandmother (Mary) said...

What a great story and what a community of love awaits this boy. Bless him and his new home.

ayala said...

A beautiful beginning. I hope Tavin comes home safely and he has such a wonderful community waiting. You have a beautiful soul.

Stephanie said...

Off to read this story!

Mr. Charleston said...

Bravo Brian.

TALON said...

Amazing and touching, Brian.

Chrystal A. said...

Brian, your poem made me cry, as did all the comments of people who read it. Thank you for your help with the fundraiser - it meant so much that you were willing to stay up all night to help. So amazing to see friends and strangers care so much for our little boy, and willing to help bring him home!

howanxious said...

A wonderful effort to adopt the little kid. It is so good that the fundraiser went well.

As for your writing, it is splendid and carefully woven. Great job.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Your heart is as big as your butt, brother; what a grand thing you participated in. The poem does a lot for explicating the circumstance, and raising our awareness of the disabled and disenfranchised among us. As a disabled person, my self, I have a poster up in my office; the word DISABLE in huge letters, with the D crossed out, spelling out IS ABLE.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Wow - this just tore at my heart. You're my kind of guy. Doesn't matter what you have, home is where love lives. Great poem, bro.

Kate Mia said...

That's such a beautiful effort and for all the abortion protests in my local area...

Oh my GOD! this a way to go..to truly save lives and love...

It WiLL be amazing if tHere ARE fund raisers..for families for a lone kids..everywHere...

The similar as tHe villAge...

BEfore.

Manicddaily said...

Hi Brian--I hope all works out for the little boy and his family--very heart felt. K.

Vicki Lane said...

Wonderful -- went to Tavin's page and donated. Hope they get him home soon!

Lupita Tucker said...

Way to go Brian! Thanks for sharing your experience, its very inspirational!

kelvin s.m. said...

...i am touched. That's it, Brian... that's it...this is crazy but i guess this is the first time i ever fall a tear after reading a poem by you... bless your heart sir & to Chrystal & family & friends who devoted time forthis greater cause... Tavin is one adorable li'l angel... smiles...

Jack said...

Brutally sad.

Also, I would like to give some major praise to this crafting:

"earlier,
i couldn't get warm after
dozing off a moment on the concrete
& it sucked

all the heat from my body"

(The enjambment wordplay was really well done.)

Alexandra Rosas said...

Oh, yes, how I want that boy to have a home. YES.

Jenny Woolf said...

Fantastic. That's all I can say. I hope your friend and Tavin have a bright future.

Sue said...

I love it so much when people show their goodness.

=)

farmlady said...

There are some "good ones" out there. My sister adopted a little boy who would have ended up in an institution, with no one to love him, but she and her husband have for 21 years now... and will forever.
I'm so touched by your good heart and your humanity.
Beautiful, hard poem.

Bodhirose said...

What a dear little boy. Your story represents the story of so many other children that society deems as "less than". This warmed my heart though as the community stepped up to help Tavin and his soon-to-be new family.

A Cuban In London said...

I'm glad to be poster number 100! :-) That was a beauty. I would have loved to be there. Thanks.

Greetings from London.

Margaret said...

It breaks my heart that adoption is so expensive. Just look into his eyes! He needs a family now. Just a crazy world but people like you give it hope. Off to read the link.

Syd said...

Wonderful thing. I am glad that Tavin will be loved and have a dad and a home. What a great thing to do.

Jackie said...

Beautifully written.....heart-tugging.....full of love.

Barbara Shallue said...

One of your best. So beautifully written from the heart. Blessings to Tavin and his new family (and friends like you!)