Thursday, February 28, 2013

MeetingTheBar: 50thousand + one

photo by Crystl

a nose knows 50thousand smells
and keeps these in memory---
a dog, 'aLL the wAY,' at the ball game,

baby hair or a bucket of shells
from last year's vacation---you see
in aureate splendor, as you inhale, the same

way you lie in my arms, steeple bells
tolling the hour of our every
waking---the heady spice, us, aflame

still, from night entwined----swells
around & twixt, fragrancing the day
warm as sun through this window frame

dust motes dipDance & i will to 'Stand still!', even my cells,
to not alert or draw near our pending farewells

Over @ dVerse Poets, Sam has us writing a variation on a sonnet...four tercets and a couplet...probably the closest i will come to following a form, smiles...stop in at 3 pm EST and see what he has going on.

82 comments:

A Cuban In London said...

You got me with that first line. My favourite one was:

as you inhale, the same

way you lie in my arms, steeple bells tolling the hour of our every waking---the heady spice, us, aflame

still, from night entwined-

Beautiful. Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Daniel said...

Follow a given form? Not you. (smiles). Nice piece today my friend.

izzy said...

Very nice thank you!

Mary said...

Oh, this is such a tricky form, Brian. Smiles! The ending is poignant, at least I take it that way. It is sad really if one contemplates smelling something special for the last time. But often we don't know that it is a farewell.

kaykuala said...

A challenging form! But a good form. It brought your tercets right into the challenge. As far as farewells go, it is most felt after the fact when tears flow freely most times. Nicely Brian!

Hank

ND Mitchell said...

Great focus on the sense of smell. You're right. It really is amazing the associations we bring to certain smells. Just been at the supermarket and they get me every time with their freshly baked bread. Always makes me buy a baguette, and I'm eating it right now :)

the walking man said...

Actually quite nicely expressed sentiment towards your satisfaction with this life and not wanting to leave it Brian, for the goodness within it.

Form or function work equally as well as form and function. Although at times I find that form is easier to hear on paper.

alan1704 said...

way you lie in my arms, steeple bells
tolling the hour of our every
waking---the heady spice, us, aflame

Excellent line, i love this picture, great words and blending.

Mark said...

Well you can always invent your own forms. Or just continue to not follow any. There are a lot of things stuck there in our memories, and I wonder just how vast our memories are at times.

DJan said...

Only fifty thousand? I bet it's more. Very intimate sonnet, Brian. I like it. :-)

Pat Hatt said...

The mutt will find a way
Should the scent come its way
And pfft to rules and form
Fun to break the norm

Betsy Brock said...

very nice....smells do stay in our memory..good and bad. Hope your day is filled with pleasant smells...

Tabor said...

A familiar smell can bring us back many years in a second. Our smell markers are fantastic even if we don't the smell expertise of a dog.

Tara Miller said...

I always like how certain smells can evoke certain memories, most of the time very special memories.

Your words make me melt....

JANU said...

Lovely...I love those smells which remind me of my home town.

John DeBellis said...

Smells sure can keep us awake, the older we get the more we make too.

ladyfi said...

So beautiful!

Brandee Shafer said...

These are the mornings when I wish for a good snow. :)

Dave King said...

I am as one with A Cuban in london. You had me like you'd wafted some long-forgotten small beneath my nose.
50,000? Amazing, isn't it, what we carry around with us?

Grace said...

Like the scents here, heady spice of us, aflame & fragrancing the day warm as the sun ~

A hard farewell ,but cells remember and keeps them at every waking hour ~

Lovely work on the form ~

hedgewitch said...

I've found it's hard to write a sonnet without writing about love--don;t know why--and this, though I would call it an 'abstract' sonnet (;_) ) is no exception. Only you could go from dog noses to entwined bodies and make it seem the obvious path.

Gail said...

You write such emotion...this was beautiful.

Green Speck said...

Loved your take on the form !!!

Valerie said...

Smells are memory revivers, grasp every one and know that one day you will recall simply by scent.

Elsie Amata said...

I could never follow a form like you!

Smell is such a powerful memory, a gift for sure.

Myrna R. said...

I know nothing of form, but this does the job as far as eliciting some mellow, romantic feelings. Though poems don't have a smell, yours (regardless of form) have a distinct style, which is unforgettable.

Alice Audrey said...

I can't tell if this is just a love poem, or the end of the world.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

As I approach 60 years of life, I have come to realize that my sense of smell is my strongest sense. I love your expression of this!

Luke Prater said...

I enjoy your modern take on form poetry... nice to be back, Bri

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Wonderfully sensual - I appreciate the creative use of CapItalIzatIon.
Good writing, bro. I'm too chicken to try it.

Laurie Kolp said...

Smells can definitely come with attachments... and how sweet it is.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Nothing can bring back a flood of memories for me quite like smells can. It's remarkable how a smell transports us back in time.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Olfactory memories trigger visceral imagery for me, resulting in better poetry & photography, rain-soaked concrete, wet maple leaves, fish & liver odors in old apartment buildings, fresh tire rubber/nylon, paint drying, grass clippings, rose-nose--and on and on.
Love the romance you present with a pragmatic brush, brother.

Claudia said...

oh i just love teh dipDancing dust motes...heady spice..aureate (had to look it up..smiles) splendor...perfect.. love the dreamy mood and tender voice and scents don't make the detour across the brain but go directly to our emotional center.. i had a funny experience when i, after many, many years went back to my school...they still used the same floor wax, i smelled it and within a split second was 14 again...smiles

Sadia Khan said...

Smells....something to which i relate very very strongly...they take me back to some time where they came from...though most of the artificial smells end up giving me severe headache ...

Susan Daniels said...

Brian, this just flows so easy... Forgot I was reading a form. That close is both sad and beautiful.

. said...

... smells like teen spirit ... again and again ... never forgotten ...

sage said...

I got a good sniffer, but my dog's is better and that's just fine. :)

Eva Gallant said...

Smells incite memories....

Brudberg said...

Yes smells stay with you all the way :-) love your take

S.E.Ingraham said...

you never fail to amaze me - I'm sure it's not, but you make even the most difficult forms look easy ... love the use of olfactory and auditory senses here - can almost hear the bells and definitely smell the spices ... very cool

http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2013/02/beneath-mirrored-surface.html

moondustwriter said...

yep we are on the same tack / different end.
when you are so close what is it like when the Twixt is all that remains???

Nicely done form et al...

Renee said...

I like what you have done, although, quite frankly I can say neither yea or nea regarding sonnets as I've never done one. I don't do forms when I write because if feels to rigid too me, too much like mathematics. I am rather a free soul and prose is what I do best so will not enter tonight but knew you would so wanted to see what you have here.

Gretchen Leary said...

I really love the third stanza. It had that cozy romantic but not too cheesy (well to me) feel. Overall nicely done / I was wondering if you would follow the form because you usually do freestyle (which I love) but you did a great job. I think I style prefer the more freestyle stuff from you. Did you mean dust mites or motes in the final stanza? You always surprise me so I'm probably about to feel like an idiot. Just remember - you did challenge us to be more specific and helpful which isn't easy for me but I love your work so it balances out ha

festivalking said...

You make it seem so easy Brian, like the words just hang in the air waiting for you to pluck them!

Where do you get all this energy?! :D

Great stuff!

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

a love sonnet! - always like your love poems, Brian - and the dancing motes - so beautiful! K

Bodhirose said...

I think that is the closest I've seen you come to a form...very nice. Love the senses portrayed, the imagery of willing every cell to stay...pretty dang cool... Yeah, I like that word "dang"!

TALON said...

You captured the essence of scent perfectly, Brian.

Semaphore said...

This is incredible, Brian, about as close to a fully-structured poem as I've ever seen in your poetry journals! And, as always, you make it yours - with the punctuative devices, the unusual olfactory references, the segue from the ordinary into the extraordinary. Always a pleasure to read.

Eusebia Philotes said...

Smells, fragrances, so powerful and connected to persons and events. Very cool.

Jennifer Dougan said...

Brian,

It's fun for me to stop in today and to sniff along with the scents you mentioned here... It's amazing how powerfully memories are associated with smell, isn't it?

Your line "the heady spice, us, aflame
still, from night entwined-" made me want to grab my husband and smile. Marriage is an awesome gift from God. :)

Have a great week,
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com

Steve E said...

You take me on poetic journey almost daily, Brian. Might be my only claim to fame--special talent for sense of smell! Not nearly the dog's 50,000.

And...away we twirl
to wonderful world
of daily bed-and-body smells,
morning-tolling church bells.

Be still I must
mid shining dust
Yes--even hearts stop
before day begins.

Can't you tell
I didn't like it
one little bit.....
oh! Except the bell. Of course!
Love ya, Bro-Bri

Ravenblack said...

A poem for the nose senses. :) Enjoyed this one.

kkkkaty said...

hmm..I like it especially for the ride...quite a few things going on ...romantic, raw and fun...so used to your not using form but this turned out great!!

King of New York Hacks said...

Brian, as usual your form, flow, and fluidity always blow me away..but as a New Yorker, my nose can store 100 thousand smells, half of which I'd never write about lmao ...thanks my friend, haven't been able to visit blogs since the Hurricane so thanks for the refreshing writing that I'm happy to come back and read..Cheers from NYC bro !!

Fred Rutherford said...

great job Brian. Think you got the pentameter closer than I did, I never have been patient enough to do the sonnets properly. Really nice, like the image choices here a lot, really nice atmosphere here as well. Thanks

ninotaziz said...

I rushed over to see your structured sonnet, Brian after I barely finished mine....And you still managed to make it

B E A U T I F U L

adeeyoyo said...

Lovely, Brian. I love to watch dust motes. Smells, spices and fragrances... senses filled... willing time to stand still to hold off the time of parting.

Syd said...

Wishing that we could stand still and not have those farewells come. Thanks, man, for your comments and heartfelt sentiments. Much appreciated.

Lorraine said...

smells bring back all memories and create new ones that sometimes we are never aware of...Love what you wrote as always, you quietthe storm within me

aprille said...

'a nose knows' sets the tone for this so beautifully. And the way you turned a fully fledged sonnet into free verse right before our eyes...magic.

SueAnn Lommler said...

It is a wonderful blessing, "smell".
It graces our memories and opens tje door to a whole other world. One of textures, and shapes; flavors and memories!
You traveled through the world of senses with your words...I enjoyed the journey!
Hugs
SueAnn

lucychili said...

a beautiful shared moment

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Breathe deeply while we can.

Manicddaily said...

Just beautiful, Brian. One of my favorites of yours. I always say that but this wishing time could stop in a moment is so palpable. Lovely. K.

Mark Zellner said...

This is fabulous, as many have said. But your use of the word "twixt" caused me to realize after all these years why my favorite candybar,Twix, is named what it is.

rumoursofrhyme said...

Looks like this form suited your muse, Brian. This is sensitive, sensual, almost perfectly to form (!) and still very definitely written as only you can.

Kelvin S.M. said...

..a nose knows 50,000 smells...but could not hold endless memories... only the selected ones that pleases the most... very playful Brian... i liked the finale lines though the 'pending farewells' give me quite of an intriguing feel... agree with Sam for making this form your own... smiles...

indieflower said...

This is beautiful:

"baby hair or a bucket of shells
from last year's vacation---you see
in aureate splendor"

mypoeticpath said...

Our sense of smell is often underrated for all that it can conjure up, bring to mind...this is lovely Brian. :<)

Vanessa V Kilmer said...

You manage to keep the form loose and flowing. Nice.

Anonymous said...

A love poem... loving in the moment.
Rallentanda

Gloria said...

I love some smells and really important to me, like smell my kids, and when they were babies, like my mom smell, love smell coffe,basil, parsley, fresh bread chocolate, the sea, the forest,berries, jasmin, roses, grass with rain, I love many smell and I dont think in others dont like:))
I love many smells! Thanks by a such lovely post!! Brian!

Secret Agent Woman said...

The most primitive and powerful of senses.

Lydia said...

lord sakes, what a beautiful love sonnet (variation). I know you are not all that into form, but you have it down to perfection nonetheless!

Jyoti Mishra said...

we all connect in so many ways..

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"a nose knows 50thousand smells
and keeps these in memory---"


Hi! Brian...Thanks, for sharing the photo by Crystl... in your poem "MeetingTheBar: 50thousand + one" you did a great job writing a "variation on a sonnet...four tercets and a couplet..."
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee :)

ayala said...

Smells transport us back to the past... the smells of life, love, food... I am big on smells. Love this!

darkangelwrites said...

"dust motes dipDance" big smile for that one. I was reminded how strong the link between smell and memories are chopping dill yesterday. I traveled 50 miles and 40 years in .2 seconds. :)

William Manson said...

funny I was just re living this last night, was remembering school days with various smells of new uniforms ect, great post mate ..

Goofball said...

my nose is clogged, I have a cold. I miss smelling at the moment. Spring is in the air and I don't notice the smell :(

Sue said...

warm and fuzzy love

=)