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| photo by Mark Fowler |
Flo is less Progress-
ive insurance agent or waitress at Mel's diner
than how a poem goes, grows
when you drop allit (mAtch!) or a rhyme in it,
like a mouse casing the house, not just around exteriors
but weaving his way inSide---hiding
behind the couch leg as the cat
strolls by, nails clicking Morse code
'when i find you...
when i find you...'
licking its lips. the mouse may
be little, but won't settle for chee-
sy easy rhymes, he's got teeth to nibble
nerve endings & hip cannons he double-
fist fires into neurons, PoW, pOw, pOW,
"monsieur pussycat,
monsieur pussycat,
let's dance,"
laughs from the toes up, at traps,
like redundant, overused metaphors or past tense,
he's passed this, preSent, active all thru
the night, tapping tiny paws on your
subconscious, pAchAngA! paying no
attention to form or scheme,
a free raD!cAL
gone before morning, leaving
vague hints you'll find upon waking,
perhaps halfway through your cereal
in the breakfast nook as lowering your spoon
back into the milk, droPPinGs float to the top
curse the mouse!
the poet!
the poem!
that won't leave
you alone, making its nest
in your cranial bone.
Over at dVerse Poets, Anna has us contemplating flow and when things flow and when they don't. Just fooling around with it...having a bit of fun. She'll open the doors at 3 PM EST.
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89 comments:
You are the one who never settles for easy cheesy rhymes. You can write playfully, seriously, sadly, and so much more. This is great. Hope you are doing well.
Droppings rising to the top? Gross! Eeeeek! :-)
haha...glad you were just joking. Although we've been there/done that....the years we were catless were the worse. The cat will win in the end! Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Clever Brian.
"Monsieur pussycat, monsieur pussycat..."
My kids love the Tom and Jerry episode with the mouse who says that. Thanks, now I'll have that trapped in my head all day. It shows that I am just a simple person.
Mouse droppings floating to the top
Eww to such a plop haha
But yeah when an idea seeps in
Have to let it out at ones bin
And the cat will always win
Unless they are a real prissy pussy and afraid to get mouse on their chin
Great Scott, great flo here - agh mice - you haven't dropped the ball. k.
Stellar!
"monsieur pussycat,
monsieur pussycat,
let's dance,"
Oh, YES!
Well wrought, mate!
Have a creative day!
Mimi
...making its nest into your cranial bone...I know that feeling ;-)
Happy Thursday Brian
gone before morning, leaving
vague hints you'll find upon waking
A similar dilemma is often experienced upon waking. It told of the consequences of what transpired in the night. These happenings are those of which one fails to recall. Nicely Brian!
Hank
Hahahaha! I am howling with laughter. Curse the mouse indeed! What an apt extended metaphor . . . and I HATE mice with a passion and may have to sue you for making me think of a mouse everytime that still small voice nudges me. This is a total winner, and will win more if you perform it, dear Brian!
Ha... Flo is always spunky... love the mouse metaphor, Brian.
This is awesome, Brian!
...what stood you out from the rest is your playfulness & flexibility with words Brian...always like the experimental vibe you produce here...sometimes light & airy...sometimes deep & soulful...but always amazing...smiles...
yes yes, you need one of Betsy's cats, one or five!! Great work, had me squirming!!!
It's funny just as I was going to start this comment, a poem started 'flowing' into my mind.
I really enjoyed reading this. It really demonstrates how creativity flows through you constantly. I love the cartoonish style here, made me smile. So often you come up with such original ways of expression. The source of flow really likes you.
That picture ain't leavin' soon!!!
Don't get me started on Flo. One of those ads has her saying, "don't bother to change the channel, I'm on all of them" and it's entirely too true.
That is one pesky little mouse. Some of them really are quite ingenious and it's a little unnerving at times. They're growing, adapting.
You found the answer just sitting there alive. This was quietly magnificent, my brother.
Flo from Mel's Diner. Well kiss my grits! It has been a long time since I saw her. Good one today.
What a hoot!
Yessir!
Magnify this into a bigger story, and you've got a traveling show!
This was fun! but i'll never look at cereal the same again. hee hee
yieeks...I detest rats...scared of them. Good you could found him inspiring enough to pen a poetry.
Wow, have you recently been to my house and I didn't know it??? I'm battling the little buggers in my basement and waiting for the exterminator to show up. Hope he brings a big cat!
jj
Even a mouse
becomes a wonder
under
your pen
Sounds as if this mouse has made himself a cozy home :)
Flo drives me crazy; a perfect blend of absurdity, stupidity, & crafty marketing! Mice are bad enough, brother, but it is the rats that one must beware, in the walls, and in the halls of Congress! Fun brevity & use of the challenge with this one.
Awesome :)
Ah yes--like an ear worm--they get stuck there tapping their way out--wonderfully stated!
Morse code clicks...cool.
you create a rich, unique, and worthwhile texture to inhabit for a while, Bri
Happy Aloha to YOU
from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
Wonderful work Brian.
smiles...it's exactly like that...love the tension, the fun, the playfulness, the magic and the craziness...smiles
Ha, I love this personification of the creative impulse, with all it's tricks and dream invasion! A highly creative take on the prompt, fabulous work as always!
"monsieur pussycat,
monsieur pussycat,
let's dance,"
all he needed was an invitation
Wouldn't call my self a mouse lover but love the descriptions especially the mouse droppings.
I'd have to second that the above and love your last stanza;
"that won't leave
you alone, making its nest
in your cranial bone."
I especially like the mention of "cranial bone"
Oh Christmas! That last stanza had me gagging in memory. Not the milk part, but the cereal sure struck home. But even cringing, still I had to grin at this and that dear sir is the mark of a person leaving his poetic droppings upon. So so nicely done Brian.
I like following the mouse tracks through the poem. Writing about writing, easy and difficult, just like the process itself. I gave it a shot too, with word help from Shawna at jasmine calyx. ;)
This is a wonderful description of the way you write poetry!
I, on the other hand, am not adverse to the occasional easy, cheesy rhyme.
;)
very cool, Brian! love the imagery here - what a wonderful way to see poetry.
Yes, we have occasional mice. Forgive me for saying, but I hate the bastards. Great poem, fun and clever writing!
I appreciate the line breaks and the fun turn of the mouse and cat, but no to droppings on the cereals ~
I like the free radicals flowing from your pen ~ Have a good night Brian ~
Brian, I enjoyed the 'flow' of your words today...but the mouse creeps me out. LOL.
I love the sound effects you create with words and the proverbial cat and mouse chase. Sometimes my cats chase their shadows too :) Awesome as always Brian!
well if this experience is like awakening, or being shocked by a mouse, I think it's also like a lot of my thinking...I have trouble remembering what happened a few o moment ago..the impulse to try to get that thought back is lost..unless there is a jolt of some kind..fun and clever!
Is it just me or is there something very sad about the idea of a mouse in a cup?
Ha, this is fabulous, I could hear it being read aloud.... Great play on words, on cat on mouse, on poet on poem....
Once, years ago, put a piece of bread in the toaster late one night, next thing I knew, a mouse came squeaking out of the toaster smelling of singed hair. Ugh, ew, gross..... Anyway, your poem made me smile.
This reads like a song, a fun blues lick. Well done!
Brian your creativity is always a delight especially over 'ice :)
Cheers!
Sigh...I knew you'd have a Zinger ...thanks. When you got it, flaunt it ☺ The comments you eeek out of people are outstanding...and not mild.
brian, this was sooo much fun to read, i adored the last 2 verses... um, hope you didn't really find any of that icky mouse stuff in your cereal milk
So cool...so very clever I just loved it! Oh and the picture... :)
You made the mouse come alive in your poem, as you gave a vivid description of your creative process. :-)
what a fun read...weaving in and out with that mouse and cat...Thanks, Brian :)
You could have just written your name and it would have meant creativity. Excellente once again.
Betsy's right. The cat will win in the end. Mine always did.
Nice onomatopoeia!
Very clever. I really hate mice, though, especially since I no longer have a pussycat to catch them. Peace, Linda
Your poem was so much fun.
I like the nails clicking morse code, and plenty more after that, but it was the first thing that really caught my eye. There's a whole section that just rolls through the brain.
Shannon at The Warrior Muse
great rhythm and i like the power of small things in this poem =)
Loved your take on this, Brian. My cereal box is under lock and key after seeing evidence of a mouse visit early one morning.
Pride in his freedom can make a mouse a meal.
Best in a glass, than running through the walls
of a mind with useless traps
and echoes of Morris' tap, tap, tap
sammi was my mouser in the old house, she'd bring me gift out of love of mice butts 'cause she ate the head, or sometimes in my slipper...yuk I knew by the smell where a mouse's funeral home was... Mikey just played with them until they did of fright, Kimmi wouldn't bother, and sometimes before anyone grabbed the tiny shaking mouse I'd pick her up in a tiny jar and put her outside....
haha this cat n mouse games..
and the destruction a mouse does when it hits the home..
...oh this one gave me the shivers! The games of cat and mouse :)
French Mice Are The Worstest!
This I adored
like redundant, overused metaphors or past tense,
he's passed this, preSent, active all thru
the night, tapping tiny paws on your
subconscious
and the ending. Brilliant!
Love how the perspective darts between the cat and the mouse ! I agree with Buddah M, this was quietly magnificent !!
I am going to say something so banal, but this is just so cool! I love mice, all little rodents really. The word play was fantastic.
I enjoy your ability to take me to places my imagination seems totally unable to conjoure up ... :-)
That's funny, equating a poet with a mouse. I love all of the skittering throughout your poem, you little verbal vermin. (I only called you that because of the alliteration.) ;)
Flash 55 - emit yna gnippots on
Hahaha, I SO enjoyed this...
I had a mouse in the house once. It didn't stand a chance. My dog swallowed it whole! Glug.
Thgis is absolutely brilliant, funny and oh so true! Fabulous write, Brian
Loved this!! Have a fantastic weekend! :-)
I would NEVER leave droppings in your cereal bowl! : )
Hail to the mice!
Masterfully personified! And the mention of Flo from Mel's diner brought me back...no one did snark the way she did. Thanks for the smile...
this one has a visceral appeal. little mouse, clever and crafty, appreciated for what he is "tapping tiny paws on your subconscious" very cool metaphor here.
Sorry to be # 78 bri, I think my brain has a few mice having breakfast in it atm. I did read this yesterday, and appreciate it's Flo...fave lines are the tapping and then gone in the morning--def relate.
You're so brave - you've really thrown everything and more at this poem, haven't you? And that is what we should all do - experiment, play around, and not be overly precious about the words we spin out.
Whenever I pop over here (whenever I have time to breathe), I find your work becoming more refined and edgier.
*APPLAUSE*
You have the courage to dig deep and find your voice.
Cool, loose, hip feel to this, like improvised jazz
Excellent flow.
You have great ability and creativity with poems.
Oh Brian you got a big smile and several giggles from me. Not an easy task tonight. :)
I know, I'm repeating this. But tell me, how do you manage? How do you manage it so beautifully?
Hey, as long as it isn't licking my lips. Perhaps he does not like vegan cheese; I am thankful for small favors.
really interesting analogy -
something tiny, and often feared or hated, like a mouse, yet so powerfully present without consent ;-)
really liked,
"licking its lips. the mouse may
be little, but won't settle for chee-
sy easy rhymes" - oh yeah ;-)
and
"tapping tiny paws on your
subconscious, pAchAngA! paying no
attention to form or scheme,
a free raD!cAL"
yeah, cursing those poetic droppings ;-)
really enjoyed brian, thanks!
ps - quite a nice array of poems contributed, very much fun reading (finally) ;-) take care
This is fantastic, Brian. Just really wonderful work.
I love this:
"when you drop allit (mAtch!) or a rhyme in it,
like a mouse casing the house, not just around exteriors
but weaving his way inSide---hiding
behind the couch leg as the cat
strolls by, nails clicking Morse code"
A fun write, Brian :) made me smile.
I was not happy to have the rodent on the boat, but it left before I trapped it. Gone amongst a lot of glue boards and rat traps. I was happy because I don't like killing anything.
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