Thursday, January 17, 2013

FormForAll: maybe we need more footprints on posteriors

photo by David Joyce

the wood bench at the park
waits through seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women,
dead leaves & snow
(a cold, stark

reality) knowing in time
it will warm & children
will leap from it's lap, uNbound, grow
wings---fly featherless
while mothers scold their crime

'Someone will sit there
and doesn't want your footprint to show
up on their butt,' less
concerned with caterpillars imagination
than fear

of proper-ness
or making a mess
no one ever really thinking (forgotten
in the alLaBoutMe show)
how the bench feels in all this.  

Over at dVerse Poets, Gay has brought a wonderful guest along to teach us new forms of poetry. This one is called a Karousel due to the rotating rhyme of the middle three lines of each stanza. Tune in at 3 pm EST to learn it and the Weave.

95 comments:

Mary said...

One

Katherine said...

What the bench must see & feel... I really do like the way that mind of yours ticks Brian. It's a bench for all seasons!

the walking man said...

Carrying your metaphor of the bench, if I were that bench now that i ano longer a part of the forest i would be glad for butt or footprint upon me because both would warm me and validate that I am useful out of my native environment.

Mary said...

Ah, Brian, the bench seems to have a life of its own in all seasons. And for sure no one wants a footprint on their butt.

Kelvin S.M. said...

...definitely not an ode to bench but rather an image poetry telling quiet of a documentary of something noticeable, a picturesque but the world simply don't care.. one day or another i will sit there for a moment and listen to his tales of the homeless men, dead leaves and many many more... smiles...

Mrsupole said...

Hi Brian,

This kinda makes you think about the saying "If these walls could talk..". But yours is "If this bench could talk..." I suppose we rarely think very often about inanimate things because we think they have no feelings being that they are not alive. Nice poem to make one think about these things.

Hope all is well.

God bless.

adeeyoyo said...

I like the form and you seem to have it taped, Brian.

I just love your choice of words to set the scene - you are brilliant at it.

'homeless men & sour skin women,' 'fly featherless' 'mothers scold their crime' - lovely!

Mark said...

I don't think I've ever heard of Karousel poetry actually. Then again the only form of poetry I know other than "poetry" is quite possibly the haiku.

JANU said...

Nice perspective of the bench. Good metaphor here. Glad for the bench!

DJan said...

Always thinking of the odd perspective, aren't you, Brian? Helping me get out of old ruts of thinking. :-)

Elsie The Writer said...

I love it, Brian! I love how you brought us to the bench at the end.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I like this Brian. I had never thought about this. A park bench really does see so much, homelessness, loving couples, children playing. It sees so many facets of the human experience.

Grace said...

Lovely form Brian, the free verse allows your voice to shine through ~

I specially like the opening lines...seasons of homeless men and sour skin women ~ proper-ness is a such a cool word ~

Happy Thursday ~

kaykuala said...

The bench with all its many secrets to tell. If only it can open up and converse. We can even know whose footprints are there! Nicely Brian!

Hank

manicddaily said...

A very subtle form in your hands. Well done with it.

The sour-skinned women somehow sticks with me. What a hard world,and bench. k.

Slamdunk said...

If I had my choice though, I'd want to hear conversations and thoughts from places that usually involve joy--parks and little league fields. I'd have to avoid the benches outside the police station and at hospitals.

Green Speck said...

Story of a bench ... loved reading this ...

farawayinthesunshine said...

The stories it would tell of the conversations heard ;-)

It's Thursday...

CiCi said...

You say it like it really is, especially the allaboutme show. If we could all just for a fraction of time view things through all things, animate and inanimate, we could change our inner beingness to think of others. Maybe that is one of the major reasons I like reading your words, your posts open minds.

Maggie May said...

The bare bench that will soon be in the warm and being sat on by all and sundry. Can't wait to do some bench sitting but its much too cold now.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

AmyLK said...

What a wonderful story about the life of a park bench! Your words bring things to life, even in my head. :)

SueAnn Lommler said...

Wonder upon wonder...what does it feel? Loved this for sure!!
Hugs
SUeAnn

Daniel said...

I liked this piece. As I read images of happy, carefree kids jumped through my mind.

Pat Hatt said...

The bench sure comes alive
With the gawker powers at your hive
All a foot print on the butt
Could be a fashion statement to some at their hut haha

A Cuban In London said...

Just the title is great, imagine the rest! I love the mother's advice, it reminds me of my own mother. Great poem.

Greetings from London.

Annmarie Pipa said...

you are a true poet!

Gail said...

We MUST remember how the bench feels...only you could say that so wonderfully.

Myrna R. said...

I smiled reading this. It;s uniquely you. Good to be aware of other's feelings, right? Love the imagination in this.

Alice Audrey said...

Now you've got me trying to imagine being a bench. Would a mighty leap by small feet hurt?

Anonymous said...
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Claudia said...

maybe from today on i start collecting footprints on my butt..bri...really love what you've done with this..the sour skin woman is fantastic..can def. smell her and in our self-centeredness we often forget those, that carry a lot but usually don't have such a loud voice..love the images..love the alLaBoutMe show...you rock!! smiles

Geraldine said...

the tales that bench could tell. nice one Brian, enjoyed reading this.

Susan said...

And you show the bench as a carousel of sorts, too, with changing inhabitants and feelings of its own. Very cool.

G-Man said...

Caterpillar Imaginations?
You know Son, what goes through YOUR mind don't go through others.
You're so enigmatic...

afterhisimage said...

The world is witness to our greatness and our folly..nicely done Brian.

Vicki Lane said...

Wow -- I love how you jumped on that kerousel and wrote it for all it was worth. Sour skin women is a great image.

California Girl said...

POV bench. Love that.

I'm with Vicki Lane on the image of "sour skin women".

missing moments said...

Oh the views and stories that bench could tell. Lovely images.

Jenny Herner said...

lovely! I especially liked "while mothers scold their crime"!

mrs mediocrity said...

oh, the stories that bench could tell....

loved this especially "less
concerned with caterpillars imagination than fear"

Leovi said...

I like this poem, the wooden benches brought me many memories of love in adlescencia ... those first kisses ...

Laurie Kolp said...

You did a fine job with this tricky form... I can't wait for spring to come and give the benches company.

Susan Daniels said...

Love the bench, the suggestion it has feelings. Wonderful use of the form.

Okie said...

What an interesting perspective.

Beachanny said...

What a lot of joy your poetry brings. This is fine (and doesn't this form lend itself well to inanimate objects too?) I liked this a great deal. Always find warmth and a soft spot here, Brian. Lovely use of the form.

Jenny said...

Brian, you always write in a way that connects...either in memories passed or in daily life. I thank you for following my blog, so I get to read your great work!

Brandee Shafer said...

Haha. Well, the bench doesn't like pigeons or those who would feed them...

Wander said...

No need to complain about a foot print on your ass considering the source :-)

Raven said...

This is pretty spectacular. You have infused not only the poem with such feeling ... but the bench. High marks for "getting it" where people are concerned!

Katherine Krige said...

That's an interesting form Brian. Not familiar with it, but then again, I have been out of the loop for a while. As always, I love how you get your reader to look at things from a slightly different perspective.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"the wood bench at the park
waits through seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women,
dead leaves & snow
(a cold, stark..."

Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing your [very] poetic words in your [very] descriptive Karousel poem.
I think that the photograph compliment your poem very well... too!
deedee :)

rumoursofrhyme said...

"seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women."

These words jump out of this poem - brilliant description. I can tell you enjoyed this form, Brian :-)

Frank Watson said...

Impressive how you can take an ordinary object from daily life and personify it, almost thinking in its shoes.

Gloria said...

really nice Brian!

FrankandMary said...

Now anthropomorphizing the bench made me reassess my initial assumptions about the poem(and the bench). Which is a gift in itself. Now I am taking the bench's feelings into account...& actually assigning it feelings. You are making me work too hard Brian.

pandamoniumcat said...

Firstly, I loved the photo and the poem...wow it just rolls... I think I'd put this down as one of my favourites of your poems... Loved it!

Grandmother said...

Another slice of life to enjoy. I liked this form as well. Yay, dVerse Poets!

hedgewitch said...

This form really suits your style, bri. This is my favorite from you this week. Smooth all the way, until you swallow. Way to work the metaphor.

Wolfsrosebud said...

... and we think we're the first... nice job

Ella said...

I know that bench...I want to kick the all about me person, off...
We all have rights-though some think they have more!
Well done...

Margaret said...

What a lovely pondering this is... I wish I had more time for dVerse and all the awesomeness it offers. My 5 year old keeps me hopping (as do the other 5). Snuck away for five hours today to hang at the barn and ride my horse. This park bench photo intrigues me too. Off to read some more of your poetry.

Evelyn Adams said...

"concerned with caterpillars imagination"
ha! this tickles me. fun, this poem has attitude.

farmlady said...

Aw... a bench with feelings. It's about time someone said something.

RMP said...

hmm...if the bench is anything like me, it prefers solitude to being walked all over. it's nice of you to think about the benches feelings; I'm sure it appreciates it.

kkkkaty said...

I'm sure i won't be the last to say it's a great poem using the Karousel form..I HAVE thought about what benches and other things feel..kind of my nature...inanimate objects but imagine what they would feel is fun..as a piece of art in a museum, being stared at all day ;)

anthonynorth said...

Deep and an excellent ending.

Valerie said...

Interesting take on the poor old bench, out in all weathers, having to put up with knives that cut deep with silly messages. I'm in that kind of mood today, Brian... smiles.

my heart's love songs said...

this form makes my vertigo dizzy. {smile} really enjoyed your poetry though!

Dave King said...

Wow, a superb use of the form. Quite startling. (Almost on the same subject, you and I.)

Tara Miller said...

I think the bench loves being loved and used in so many ways. Kids are kids and will climb on anything and everything. Difficult as it may be, sometimes us mothers should just let them be.....kids.

happygirl said...

I liked the rhythm of this piece. I like park benches, too.

Lorraine said...

there could never be another you

Teresa said...

This is awesome! Your originality in the every day is just amazing!

ND Mitchell said...

Nice work. The benchmark for all future poems about benches i'd say :-)

Nessa said...

That was fun. No one ever considers the sittee (sic).

Other Mary said...

Nice observations and great use of the form Brian.

Laurie said...

what an amazing way of thinking,

Teri M said...

That might make for an interesting reality show...scenes from a bench. Happy Friday! :-)

Raivenne said...

Now that is from one interesting perspective Brian. I'm pretty sure your words will come to me with the next bench I happen upon. I do like the way you've taken this Karousel and made it work for you.

Glenn Buttkus said...

def thought I had commented already; but apparently not. Lovely Miller take on subject, almost existential in voice; aced the form, told your story cleanly. Great how you switched up POV without losing us.

izzy said...

All about me show! aren't we just familiar with that one! and yeah who might care to get the benches opinion! Thanks Brian!

Gretchen Leary said...

Love your poem. Benches are funny things. They present a lot to me. Almost solemn.

Pauline said...

now you've got me wondering what the bench is really thinking!

cloudfactor5 said...

WOW, I just wanted to say how impressed I am with this poem !! your fabulous POV from the bench's perspective !! your poetic-ness is really shining through here, and how you conquered the form, Awesome!

Rachel Hoyt said...

The alLaBoutMe show. Love it. :) Benches have feelings too...

ninot said...

Benches, garden chairs.

We enjoy the comfort and view. Hopefully they inspire stories of joy and hope.

zongrik said...

i like sour skin women and caterpillar imagination


quantum kisses

Mama Zen said...

Clever write!

ladyfi said...

A lovely write. Oh, the stories benches could tell!

Syd said...

I often think about the people who have been in homes, sat on benches, walked the streets, climbed a tree--so many who have gone before. So interesting.

Sheila said...

I hate that show.

The Purple Assassin. said...

Read you for the very first time, and seems you're a great writer!
Amazing one!
Take Care :)

ayala said...

Love this ! Happy Sunday :)

Goofball said...

I love that angle used in the picture!


if a bench could talk...what stories would it tell us?

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Never has a bench been so interesting!