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| photo by David Joyce |
the wood bench at the park
waits through seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women,
dead leaves & snow
(a cold, stark
reality) knowing in time
it will warm & children
will leap from it's lap, uNbound, grow
wings---fly featherless
while mothers scold their crime
'Someone will sit there
and doesn't want your footprint to show
up on their butt,' less
concerned with caterpillars imagination
than fear
of proper-ness
or making a mess
no one ever really thinking (forgotten
in the alLaBoutMe show)
how the bench feels in all this.
Over at dVerse Poets, Gay has brought a wonderful guest along to teach us new forms of poetry. This one is called a Karousel due to the rotating rhyme of the middle three lines of each stanza. Tune in at 3 pm EST to learn it and the Weave.
Posts
95 comments:
One
What the bench must see & feel... I really do like the way that mind of yours ticks Brian. It's a bench for all seasons!
Carrying your metaphor of the bench, if I were that bench now that i ano longer a part of the forest i would be glad for butt or footprint upon me because both would warm me and validate that I am useful out of my native environment.
Ah, Brian, the bench seems to have a life of its own in all seasons. And for sure no one wants a footprint on their butt.
...definitely not an ode to bench but rather an image poetry telling quiet of a documentary of something noticeable, a picturesque but the world simply don't care.. one day or another i will sit there for a moment and listen to his tales of the homeless men, dead leaves and many many more... smiles...
Hi Brian,
This kinda makes you think about the saying "If these walls could talk..". But yours is "If this bench could talk..." I suppose we rarely think very often about inanimate things because we think they have no feelings being that they are not alive. Nice poem to make one think about these things.
Hope all is well.
God bless.
I like the form and you seem to have it taped, Brian.
I just love your choice of words to set the scene - you are brilliant at it.
'homeless men & sour skin women,' 'fly featherless' 'mothers scold their crime' - lovely!
I don't think I've ever heard of Karousel poetry actually. Then again the only form of poetry I know other than "poetry" is quite possibly the haiku.
Nice perspective of the bench. Good metaphor here. Glad for the bench!
Always thinking of the odd perspective, aren't you, Brian? Helping me get out of old ruts of thinking. :-)
I love it, Brian! I love how you brought us to the bench at the end.
I like this Brian. I had never thought about this. A park bench really does see so much, homelessness, loving couples, children playing. It sees so many facets of the human experience.
Lovely form Brian, the free verse allows your voice to shine through ~
I specially like the opening lines...seasons of homeless men and sour skin women ~ proper-ness is a such a cool word ~
Happy Thursday ~
The bench with all its many secrets to tell. If only it can open up and converse. We can even know whose footprints are there! Nicely Brian!
Hank
A very subtle form in your hands. Well done with it.
The sour-skinned women somehow sticks with me. What a hard world,and bench. k.
If I had my choice though, I'd want to hear conversations and thoughts from places that usually involve joy--parks and little league fields. I'd have to avoid the benches outside the police station and at hospitals.
Story of a bench ... loved reading this ...
The stories it would tell of the conversations heard ;-)
It's Thursday...
You say it like it really is, especially the allaboutme show. If we could all just for a fraction of time view things through all things, animate and inanimate, we could change our inner beingness to think of others. Maybe that is one of the major reasons I like reading your words, your posts open minds.
The bare bench that will soon be in the warm and being sat on by all and sundry. Can't wait to do some bench sitting but its much too cold now.
Maggie x
Nuts in May
What a wonderful story about the life of a park bench! Your words bring things to life, even in my head. :)
Wonder upon wonder...what does it feel? Loved this for sure!!
Hugs
SUeAnn
I liked this piece. As I read images of happy, carefree kids jumped through my mind.
The bench sure comes alive
With the gawker powers at your hive
All a foot print on the butt
Could be a fashion statement to some at their hut haha
Just the title is great, imagine the rest! I love the mother's advice, it reminds me of my own mother. Great poem.
Greetings from London.
you are a true poet!
We MUST remember how the bench feels...only you could say that so wonderfully.
I smiled reading this. It;s uniquely you. Good to be aware of other's feelings, right? Love the imagination in this.
Now you've got me trying to imagine being a bench. Would a mighty leap by small feet hurt?
maybe from today on i start collecting footprints on my butt..bri...really love what you've done with this..the sour skin woman is fantastic..can def. smell her and in our self-centeredness we often forget those, that carry a lot but usually don't have such a loud voice..love the images..love the alLaBoutMe show...you rock!! smiles
the tales that bench could tell. nice one Brian, enjoyed reading this.
And you show the bench as a carousel of sorts, too, with changing inhabitants and feelings of its own. Very cool.
Caterpillar Imaginations?
You know Son, what goes through YOUR mind don't go through others.
You're so enigmatic...
The world is witness to our greatness and our folly..nicely done Brian.
Wow -- I love how you jumped on that kerousel and wrote it for all it was worth. Sour skin women is a great image.
POV bench. Love that.
I'm with Vicki Lane on the image of "sour skin women".
Oh the views and stories that bench could tell. Lovely images.
lovely! I especially liked "while mothers scold their crime"!
oh, the stories that bench could tell....
loved this especially "less
concerned with caterpillars imagination than fear"
I like this poem, the wooden benches brought me many memories of love in adlescencia ... those first kisses ...
You did a fine job with this tricky form... I can't wait for spring to come and give the benches company.
Love the bench, the suggestion it has feelings. Wonderful use of the form.
What an interesting perspective.
What a lot of joy your poetry brings. This is fine (and doesn't this form lend itself well to inanimate objects too?) I liked this a great deal. Always find warmth and a soft spot here, Brian. Lovely use of the form.
Brian, you always write in a way that connects...either in memories passed or in daily life. I thank you for following my blog, so I get to read your great work!
Haha. Well, the bench doesn't like pigeons or those who would feed them...
No need to complain about a foot print on your ass considering the source :-)
This is pretty spectacular. You have infused not only the poem with such feeling ... but the bench. High marks for "getting it" where people are concerned!
That's an interesting form Brian. Not familiar with it, but then again, I have been out of the loop for a while. As always, I love how you get your reader to look at things from a slightly different perspective.
"the wood bench at the park
waits through seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women,
dead leaves & snow
(a cold, stark..."
Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing your [very] poetic words in your [very] descriptive Karousel poem.
I think that the photograph compliment your poem very well... too!
deedee :)
"seasons of homeless
men & sour skin women."
These words jump out of this poem - brilliant description. I can tell you enjoyed this form, Brian :-)
Impressive how you can take an ordinary object from daily life and personify it, almost thinking in its shoes.
really nice Brian!
Now anthropomorphizing the bench made me reassess my initial assumptions about the poem(and the bench). Which is a gift in itself. Now I am taking the bench's feelings into account...& actually assigning it feelings. You are making me work too hard Brian.
Firstly, I loved the photo and the poem...wow it just rolls... I think I'd put this down as one of my favourites of your poems... Loved it!
Another slice of life to enjoy. I liked this form as well. Yay, dVerse Poets!
This form really suits your style, bri. This is my favorite from you this week. Smooth all the way, until you swallow. Way to work the metaphor.
... and we think we're the first... nice job
I know that bench...I want to kick the all about me person, off...
We all have rights-though some think they have more!
Well done...
What a lovely pondering this is... I wish I had more time for dVerse and all the awesomeness it offers. My 5 year old keeps me hopping (as do the other 5). Snuck away for five hours today to hang at the barn and ride my horse. This park bench photo intrigues me too. Off to read some more of your poetry.
"concerned with caterpillars imagination"
ha! this tickles me. fun, this poem has attitude.
Aw... a bench with feelings. It's about time someone said something.
hmm...if the bench is anything like me, it prefers solitude to being walked all over. it's nice of you to think about the benches feelings; I'm sure it appreciates it.
I'm sure i won't be the last to say it's a great poem using the Karousel form..I HAVE thought about what benches and other things feel..kind of my nature...inanimate objects but imagine what they would feel is fun..as a piece of art in a museum, being stared at all day ;)
Deep and an excellent ending.
Interesting take on the poor old bench, out in all weathers, having to put up with knives that cut deep with silly messages. I'm in that kind of mood today, Brian... smiles.
this form makes my vertigo dizzy. {smile} really enjoyed your poetry though!
Wow, a superb use of the form. Quite startling. (Almost on the same subject, you and I.)
I think the bench loves being loved and used in so many ways. Kids are kids and will climb on anything and everything. Difficult as it may be, sometimes us mothers should just let them be.....kids.
I liked the rhythm of this piece. I like park benches, too.
there could never be another you
This is awesome! Your originality in the every day is just amazing!
Nice work. The benchmark for all future poems about benches i'd say :-)
That was fun. No one ever considers the sittee (sic).
Nice observations and great use of the form Brian.
what an amazing way of thinking,
That might make for an interesting reality show...scenes from a bench. Happy Friday! :-)
Now that is from one interesting perspective Brian. I'm pretty sure your words will come to me with the next bench I happen upon. I do like the way you've taken this Karousel and made it work for you.
def thought I had commented already; but apparently not. Lovely Miller take on subject, almost existential in voice; aced the form, told your story cleanly. Great how you switched up POV without losing us.
All about me show! aren't we just familiar with that one! and yeah who might care to get the benches opinion! Thanks Brian!
Love your poem. Benches are funny things. They present a lot to me. Almost solemn.
now you've got me wondering what the bench is really thinking!
WOW, I just wanted to say how impressed I am with this poem !! your fabulous POV from the bench's perspective !! your poetic-ness is really shining through here, and how you conquered the form, Awesome!
The alLaBoutMe show. Love it. :) Benches have feelings too...
Benches, garden chairs.
We enjoy the comfort and view. Hopefully they inspire stories of joy and hope.
i like sour skin women and caterpillar imagination
quantum kisses
Clever write!
A lovely write. Oh, the stories benches could tell!
I often think about the people who have been in homes, sat on benches, walked the streets, climbed a tree--so many who have gone before. So interesting.
I hate that show.
Read you for the very first time, and seems you're a great writer!
Amazing one!
Take Care :)
Love this ! Happy Sunday :)
I love that angle used in the picture!
if a bench could talk...what stories would it tell us?
Never has a bench been so interesting!
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