Thursday, December 20, 2012

FormForAll: mmm Ahh Unplugged & Live

T @ coffeeshop


like a Commodore 64
you'd buy code books for, spend long hours
clack clack clacking code to play PONG
my heart's a computer, lifelong

in need of reprogramming, or
unplugging, reboot a few hours
malware dam, spam gummed terrabyte
mouthful of apple in Eve's bite

[CTRL] [ALT] [DEL] task manager
run a finger down, free our hours
acoustic us, harmoniUS
new/old music species/genus

sing, singer, sing my song, as i
play over you, humMm notes forgot

Over at dVerse Poets today, Gay has us writing Kyrielle and Kyrielle Sonnets. The first I wrote sounded way stilted, so i had a little fun with this one. 8 syllable lines in rhyming quatrains with a refrained phrase (my cheat would be i just refrained hours) and an unrhymed couplet to end it---in millermetre. ha. Gay will explain it much easier. Doors open at 3 pm EST.

68 comments:

Mary said...

One

Mary said...

Ha, that was fun, Brian. Now I want to see the stilted one. Smiles. Have a good day.

the walking man said...

Unplug yourself, write code like you did when you were a kid so only your friends could read the message, now write it for your kids...if you can get them to unplug themselves too.

Lisa said...

I enjoyed it.

Elsie The Writer said...

"mouthful of apple in Eve's bite"

I love this because for me I can read two meanings as I type on my MacBook!

Great work.

kaykuala said...

The Commodore 64, ah.. what a bother to keep track of all the codes and remembering them. Windows was just heavenly. Those were the days!

Hank

CiCi said...

Commodore 64 is ancient now. This was great fun. Interesting that you were experimenting and yet the deep love became part of the newness of the writing. So many of us can relate to the computer references, and so few of us can only imagine the secure rock strength of the love. Very nice, Brian.

Pat Hatt said...

haha fun look back
Even before my time at my shack
But know all the games
With a clickity clacking of names

Susan said...

My word, Brian! You can even make technology sexy!

DJan said...

I remember my first computer! It wasn't a Commodore 64 but darn close. What a fun sonnet, Brian. :-)

Natasha Head said...

millermeter...love it! :) Minesweeper rocked on that 64...just saying. Your creative liberties always bring out the best...awesome play!

Bossy Betty said...

Oh, I like a man who can write a sonnet.

Daniel said...

There are so many different forms of poetry that I learn about from you. Are these modern creations or do they have a history dating back a ways. This one was nice.

Alice Audrey said...

Such an old form to come up with such a modern poem.

hedgewitch said...

As always, you have such a touch for real images, brian, that carry the feelings. Thanks so much for all your support over the years, and best wishes for a very good holiday season with those you love. You are one of my touchstones, and anchor life and art in this spinning world to its home in our hearts. Love and best holiday wishes to you and yours.

Valerie said...

Nice one, Brian, and fun.

Atari ... my first computer, guess you're not old enough to remember it!

LadyCat said...

Like the 'Apple' and "Eve" connection. And I can def relate to the Ctrl>Alt>Delete part : )

She Writes said...

This is not the first time I have seen you write in millermitre :).

Am I just slow? Does this mean you work on a Mac? I like the Eve's bite line!

Myrna R. said...

I can't imagine you ever being unplugged. It seems you manage (I don't know how.) to be online the second a blog is posted. Enjoyed this. I like the millermitre the best.

Laurie Kolp said...

Love this Brian... great pic, too.

G-Man said...

Is that computer lingo?

Claudia said...

smiles..there's a code book for love but no shortcuts..just saying...smiles..love how you put this...getting to the source of things...check the task manager where the energy get sucked up..sometimes we need a bit of reprogramming, getting rid of the malware and then the "programs" run properly again..some even better than before...smiles

Suz said...

why

Susan Daniels said...

Oh, I loved this. I remember the Commodore ;)

Sue said...

I need to start doing those challenges. They are cool!

You did great, too.

=)

happygirl said...

Good job on the challenge. I'm going to have to start doing some challenges and get my writing on. :)

jane hewey said...

clever high-tech, contemporary poem for a liturgical formal form. works very well. I especially love your closing stanza.

Okie said...

cool. melodic.

Fun stuff

Bodhirose said...

I couldn't wait to get over here and see what you came up with...you did not disappoint. Millimeter, hah...I don't get those 'meters' either...I stuck to counting syllables. That, I can do! You're always so entertaining, Brian. Smiles.

Rene Foran said...

this was great. it really sings.

Daydreamertoo said...

A Commodore 64 wow... talk about the ark.
Loved this... apple and Eve.. Naughty thought. lol
Very playful.
Hope you all are feeling a whole lot better now.

manicddaily said...

What are rules but to be broken! Ha!

Your poem works well though! k.

Grace said...

I like the idea of reprogramming or unplugging or rebooting...great images specially the sing song of the last two line ~

Nice picture too ~

Have a good evening ~

Gail said...

I'd say you aced this one.

JANU said...

Cannot still get the hang of computers! Nice form.

Polly said...

heh-heh ... love that it's in millermetre :)

Lorraine said...

What? but Tara looks beautiful and very relaxed at a coffee shop my favourite place

vivinfrance said...

Millermeter made me smile - all your poems are written in it! I've never played a computer game, but still chuckled at the tone of the poem, thinking of the concentration of my grandson with an i-pad in his hands.

my heart's love songs said...

i remember Commodores! what did they have ~ one megabyte of memory? {smile}

love your analogy with your heart. always love your wordplay, Bri!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"sing, singer, sing my song, as i
play over you, humMm notes forgot"

Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing the photo Of Mrs.[Tara] Miller, [in a coffee-shop] and your attempt at writing a Kyrielle and Kyrielle Sonnet[s.]

deedee :)

Dave King said...

Well this is the reverse of stilted. It's a cracker that took me back to the joys and tears of early computing and programming - yes, and even to those damned cassette tapes! Wonderful times! Wonderful poem. Thanks.

pandamoniumcat said...

Gosh those commodore 64's, could never get it to work but thankfully the heart works...usually reboots quite easily with a little romance. A lovely quirky romantic verse.

Sabio Lantz said...


Dude, by a Mac and all your psychological turmoil will will be free of computer allegories! But perhaps, as you show us, you'd just run to music metaphors. (joking)

No refrain but the half-rhymes were very fun.
I loved the Eve analogy to the gummed up Commodore -- poor Eve, that Biblical story has done more damage to women than any, or the many, I know. (again, sort of kidding).

I couldn't understand the pic -- I thought the voice was yours -- but maybe it is the girl in the pic. Don't know who "T" is. But it is a bleak picture and she doesn't look like she wants to be there. [my read]

Sabio Lantz said...

sorry, that was suppose to be:
"BUY a Mac"

rumoursofrhyme said...

Thanks for the fun write Brian. I don't know why you eschew form when you use it so well. Maybe it's just a matter of being more comfortable with free verse.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Sadly I remember those computers and games. But one of my new favorite songs is called Ho Hey. Does that make me less lame? Merry Christmas to you and your family! I hope you have a joyous Holiday. ~tracy Life Is A Road Trip

franzad said...

oh i like your style of writing, always catching the moment.
Unpluged we shall live, dancing to lifes rhyme.

Steve E said...

Shame on me! I skipped over the classroom notes,

"...rhyming quatrains with a refrained phrase (my cheat would be i just refrained hours) and an unrhymed couplet to end it---in millermetre. ha."

...And just relaxed and enjoyed every word and thought, real or implied!

Especially the second, third and first stanzas...the blood-sweat spilt onto my Commodore 64...and of COURSE the Coda-like finish lines "...play over you, humMm notes forgot" WOW!

...which occur after the "Taskmaster" sequence (I think even the ol' 64 used [CTRL] [ALT] [DEL]?) and thoughts:
"..run a finger down, free our hours
acoustic us, harmoniUS
new/old music species/genus...."

Brian I do not know HOW to say anything about your work, except to quote almost the whole dammm piece. Soooo, you are THE Master here (and elsewhere, I'm guessing--grin!)

Monkey said...

ah, to unplug....another brilliant write, with more than one meaning I think :)

Bravo Miller

Christine said...

Oh my gosh I thought Commadore 64 was a song at first, and I asked my son what he thought it was and a gun came to his mind (he is a computer science major) I guess I am not plugged in. Hope your Christmas is unplugged (ours will be at least for one day) and enjoy all the food and love that surrounds you. :)

Sharp Little Pencil said...

As always, I saw the prompt and it blew my circuits. Brian, you have such a way with form. SHOW US the other one, the one on stilts!! Amy

missing moments said...

Ha! Haven't thought of those old Commodores for ages!

Luke Prater said...

very interesting Kyrielle sonnet! And takes me back to the days of those chunky old computers... the metaphor is a strong one

Sheila said...

great one. we are blessed to have the marriages we do.

RMP said...

did [CTRL] [ALT] [DEL] work on a Commodore 64? it definitely seems like time for an upgrade.

unplugging sounds like a grand idea...

Peggy said...

Nice images Brian. And congratulations on the form--something I feel quite intimidated about. I think I am going to try to stretch in this direction in the coming year--work on learning about forms and trying them.

poeticlicensee said...

"harmoniUS", dandy double intent...

poeticlicensee said...

"harmoniUS", dandy double intent...

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Love the way you freed up the form!

sage said...

Nice, it seems so long ago with those early computers, but it wasn't really that long ago--my first computer was evem 1/2 of my life ago!

Gloria said...

I love this Brian :)

Fred Rutherford said...

very cool…I hit you with the Babe and Salacious crumb and then you come back with C64 and pong…love these blast from the pasts…and code books, man I still have some old zelda one's around for Nintendo. Great middle here as well.

Heather said...

This is awesome! How are you so creatively amazing!

Other Mary said...

This is really fun Brian :o)

Tara Miller said...

Hello, my love! Wow ;)

Syd said...

I bet your boys would like Garage Band on the Mac. I love computers and actually used to program all my statistical analyses. Now I appreciate WYSIWYG

Bernie said...

Merry Christmas Brian, xo

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Ha! You managed to make computer aggravation fun! :)