Thursday, November 1, 2012

MeetingTheBar: working the chainGang (w/ 12 Romans)


Each night, out of discipline, i run
a comb through membranes, seeking truth
& felonious cogitations flea-ing the chain-
Gang

thirty-one...thirty-two...

don't pull too hard when teeth get caught,
can't tell the store by the lies you bought
'cept in actions wrought, that's why mine's
shaved in a mohawk, all my thoughts point

up---eyes to the floor, too many trap doors
in the mind's mine to bear in mind & corners
where the sun don't shine, even in reflection
on the moon, man left footprints on once
& never went back, been there done that

thought-less, but we---we're always re-turning
the same plots, expecting seed to root in spite
our tilling, retelling the same stories as if
the ending might be different, apples always gListen,
so says the snake hissing for kisses

one hundred one....one hundred three...

the forecast no longer partly cloudy, leaves
the sky free & blue, as my jeans, holey things,
i wear like champagne to visit Mona Lisa,
she works a street corner, making a guitar moan
& goes by Frank---plays for tips, to supplement
his guv'mnt check, gave me one once--sang

there's a parable in the wind,
keep searching, man
keep searching, so

Each night, out of discipline, i run
a comb, 's got a some broken teeth---i might miss
a few felons, but 'ats alright by me

Over @dVerse Poets, Anna has us writing postmodern poetry, mixing high/low culture, surrealism and a couple other things & well, i gave it a shot...she can explain it all the more when she opens the door at 3 pm EST.

69 comments:

Secret Agent Woman said...

I especially like the metaphor of tilling and not letting our minds rest enough for thoughts to take hold.

SueAnn Lommler said...

Good Morning!
Loved this...got my mind a going
Hugs
SueAnn

ladyfi said...

Another great piece of writing.

Daniel said...

Kind of a pensive piece today. I felt your groove. Great way to start one's day.

Leovi said...

Interesting poem, I worry about the corners where the sun does not shine.

Heaven said...

I like the counting, direction of your eyes and forecast of things to come ~ Let's keep searching for the light ~

An interesting prompt later ~

Monkey said...

my first read of the morning, and what a great one it was :)

Happy day miller.

manicddaily said...

Wonderful internal rhyme here and mix of imagery - comb teeth, apple, snake - all these links and the missing. k.

Mary said...

Well, Brian, I am drawn to the guitar player named Frank who seems to be both 'him' and 'her' but maybe that is one of the trap doors in the mind's mine under that free and blue sky!

Pat Hatt said...

Back on top
Down to low
Just don't stop
And give a smiley flow
With teeth gone from view
People may run
For a deliverance clue
Or such a thought may be spun haha

farawayinthesunshine said...

...keep searching man, keep searching...

Hoping we all find what we are looking for :-)

Happy 1st of November, Brian

JANU said...

eyes to the floor, too many trap doors
in the mind's mine to bear in mind & corners
where the sun don't shine, even in reflection
on the moon, man left footprints on once
& never went back....
great lines here Brian.

Tabor said...

Lots of info here...must re-read as I missed some of it.

Dave King said...

This really stirred things deep down for me.
even in reflection
on the moon, man left footprints on once
& never went back, been there done that

thought-less,
Powerful allusion. So much to enjoy and then to ponder. Thanks.

Claudia said...

you know..paul would love it..very cool take on romans 12..honoring others above ourseleves, connecting with people on all kinds of other levels, renewing our mind in a constant process - ha love the mohawk pointing up and the mona lisa part for its craziness - very cool write bri with a great message...and as i said...i think paul would love it...i do..smiles

Suz said...

ah...but beware of itchy ears

Kimolisa said...

Oh, I liked this poem, there are so many parts that I liked like the Mona Lisa on the corner that plays for change and goes by the name of Frank and the choice to spell glisten gListen. Great piece.

Carrie Burtt said...

This could be a great rap song Brian! Everything about this makes it a wonderful write...a message to keep reaching out and forward....love this! :-)

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Very thought provoking, this one.

Jenny said...

I like what Carrie said about this being a great wrap song....Brian Miller....you are gifted! This is a wonderful poem.

Anne said...

The imagery and the word play was wonderful. I like how your thoughts and your mohawk both point up!

Gloria said...

good one ...again Brian!
I told you I made fudgy brownies (tell T) have a nice day!

Tara Miller said...

Yet another poem that would sound amazing read aloud. The parallel is relevant in our culture today. Need to re-read so I don't miss any of the goodies you've hidden.

CiCi said...

"Can't tell the store by the lies you bought", great line. Your words encourage people to open their eyes and ears to truth.

Mrsupole said...

I think you did a great job they all blended very well together. Even had my mind going to some places and then back to reading again. Was really cool.

God bless.

Mama Zen said...

"holey things,
i wear like champagne to visit Mona Lisa"

I love that!

Valerie said...

There was a certain rhythm to this, Brian. I almost felt the foot tapping.

Magpie said...

This one had a lilting quality to it and practically sang itself to me.

tera said...

Nice. Has great movement.
I need to get back into my daily blog reading, I'm missing way too much of your poetry!

rosaria williams said...

Running a comb...
You've turned into a blues-man with this, a soft kind of AFTER-Sandy-man-woman blues tune.
Man, I wish I could show up and listen to this tune...

Anna Montgomery said...

Inadequate, PLEASE! This is awesome, especially 'felonious cogitations', 'snake hissing for kisses', the whole Mona Lisa verse, and the allusions and playfulness. It is rich, intriguing, and fun. I can't wait to see what everyone does with this one!

Daydreamertoo said...

We say 'Yeah'
Man left footprints on the moon, and a lot of garbage. (Can't help being cynical) Loved the metaphor and allegory through this. The missing teeth, eyes to the floor, apples snakes hissing for kisses... the count.
Oh... gawd, why don't I just say you've written another stunner. :)

RD said...

your absurdity is the most endearing part of you


to me


Peace

^.^ said...

Whishing you well ... coming fleas out of my hair will be one task coming up ... anxious to leave and anxious to arrive right now ... not so much anxious to return at the moment ... Everything is gonna be alright ... Thanks for your comment, B ... Listen to Bill Bourne if you have time ... it's way at the bottom of my blog ... click on video ... He knows things , you know ... Till then, be well, my friend. Love, cat.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Some really good images here and go on you really do take this long to comb your hair...your secret is safe

Nico said...

The apples always glisten. A lot to think about in this one--well worth a second, third reading.

Gary Poetrytech said...

Great read! There is also a rap-like quality to Paul's writing, I just realized...

Susan Daniels said...

Really liked this--especially the thoughts pointing up!

henry clemmons said...

Like this. Hate the thought of missing felons, but we can't get them all. You never know who might end up in jail. I enjoyed the bit about the mohawk and your points. Very kool.

Alice Audrey said...

It's certainly surreal. I'm not sure if you're picking nits with that broken comb or just keeping the Mohawk up.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"Each night, out of discipline, i run a comb, 's got a some broken teeth---i might miss
a few felons, but 'ats alright by me..."


Hi! Brian...Thanks, for sharing the image and your poetic words as you "tackled" writing postmodern poetry, mixing high/low culture, surrealism and a couple other things...too!

deedee :)

Okie said...

This has some really cool phrases and words...I really enjoy that. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what's going on throughout the whole thing. It's got a cool vibe to it.

I especially love the phrases "can't tell the store by the lies you bought" and the "making a guitar moan".

Susan said...

HUGE GRIN GRIN GRIN! What a great reason for the Mohawk! Beautiful poem.

"thought-less, but we---we're always re-turning
the same plots, expecting seed to root in spite
our tilling, retelling the same stories as if
the ending might be different, apples always gListen,
so says the snake hissing for kisses . . ."

I go here, too, how many times before the prophetic is heard? But I don't find the guitarist on the corner, just the chain gang. Keep on combing: if they flee, if they are felonious, you don't need them.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

I always feel after reading your work as if you/we just took a deep breathe and now your/our chest might be a bit lighter getting that all out. Thumbs up

seacamels said...

Lovely full of treasures. The parable in the wind and the lonely Mona Lisa that “goes by Frank”. Love the sound of his / her guitar. gListen! Excellent, Mr. Miller.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Most guys wear Mohawks out of rebellion, but somehow you make it work for you, kind of flipping off convention and making them see the real Miller beneath the bluster; loved the internal rhymes running rampant in this one.

lifeisaroadtrip said...

Your thoughts point up! I love it. Did you make that up or is that a common saying about mohawks?

Jen said...

Almost makes me want to get a mohawk. If Annabella could do it, why can't I?

Fred Rutherford said...

Fun piece Brian. Still working on my own, kind of having trouble meshing the high and low cultures together in one. This is a great example though, love the merger you made here. Thanks

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Brian, have to get to dverse for further info, but you nailed this. Great rhymes, unexpected turns, random thoughts, yet it all melds because of the voice I hear. This ROCKS. Peace, Amy

kkkkaty said...

This grandma thinks this rocks!

Lorraine said...

you touch on all my emotions in all the styles that exist you have only one: Emotional Perfection, how's that for a contradiction, yet you do it so well.

Lisa said...

Things you see and how you see them Brian, and what a blessing you can turn them into words.

This is me Brian, I am in make-over :)

Zuzana said...

Good morning dear Brian, time for me to visit my best blogging friends again.;) Your poetry is always food for thought, you have a way of combining the most obscure and make it flow as if it is just very ordinary.;)
Did I ever tell you that as a child I competed in poetry reading and won many prizes.;) But I can not write any poetry at all.;)
Have a great weekend dear friend,
xoxo

RMP said...

there is a nice flow to this piece with a lot of interesting bits running through this; you rounded them up quite well. I myself tend to get a little scared when trying to to wrangle in felonious cogotations – some are better left to roam free.

(auto correct tried to change "rangle" to tangled...I realize it's my own fault for being a poor speller, but it seemed quite a telling word choice.

Laurie Kolp said...

Nice... now I think I understand the prompt a little better. I especially like-

the forecast no longer partly cloudy, leaves
the sky free & blue, as my jeans, holey things,
i wear like champagne to visit Mona Lisa,
she works a street corner, making a guitar moan
& goes by Frank---plays for tips, to supplement
his guv'mnt check, gave me one once--sang

Natasha Head said...

snake hissing for kisses...ha! Fun rhythm to this one that is just screaming for tunage...Love it...you rock the hawk, Poet

Anonymous said...

Absolutely fantastic.
An imnsomniac pondering the mysteries of life with a whirl of thoughts in his overdrive brain. But my favourite of all time is the reason for the mohawk...comb it up and all the thoughts go up
ROFL

Cressida de Nova

Wolfsrosebud said...

liked how the comb came back at the end... seems you had a little bit of everything for us to comment on

jane hewey said...

so many fantastic lines in this, Brian. I especially love the hissing kissing stanza. It is great fun to read. I won't have time to write for this prompt but it is really compelling and I will definitely revisit it later. Have a wonderful weekend!

Nilanjana Bose said...

serious 'like'! loved the bit about the parable in the wind and apples gListening and snake...and what a cool motive behind the mohawk!

Beachanny said...

I think all your stuff is post-modern, certainly punk with steam, and combs, and lines and usually at least not 'til now with fleas but lovin' the wordplay and the shadows, the mining and tilling - and listening and writing like paint piling on changing the way you view it 'til it's all impasto and antipasta together. You're the man, Brian - the poetryman!

mrs mediocrity said...

yes, you are so good at post-modern, so good at holding up a mirror to what we now know as life...

we get up every morning, and we do what we must to make our way through... another fabulous write!

festivalking said...

Sorry this comment is coming in so late!
I'll tell you Brian, I'm amazed at the rate at which you write these pieces. What ever you are on, I want some man! :D

Great stuff!

Sue said...

I like the way you use rhyme here. Got a nice flow going...

=)

lucychili said...

yes the rhythm felt like rap
skies and guitars, and my garden needs tilling =)

adan said...

"we're always re-turning
the same plots, expecting seed to root in spite
our tilling, retelling the same stories as if
the ending might be different..." -

and sometimes they are, or so they seem, and so they are - even if just as glimmers on the surface of something that doesn't change...

my heart's love songs said...

brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!! LOVE the way you put together words, Brian!! one of my favorites now!

Syd said...

At first, I thought that you were searching for lice. Guess not, but that's what popped into my head of hair.