Saturday, October 13, 2012

Poetics: Daredevil & Abraham have coffee in my Cortex

Parking garage downtown, Lynchburg, VA

The Man without Fear is blind,
      in certain irony. I never got
the chance to meet his creator, but later
at a comic shop in Bristol met
      the current artist & wanted to ask
his motivations
                      in taking the eyes
 yet leaving his hero strong

& what has kept me from taking a spoon
             to my own, in those moments---
 when I wanted to be anything but…

 (DON”T MAKE ME WATCH)

from my camera perch armored gladiators advance
 the ball endzone to endzone---
      young kids play by the side
     of the bleachers & all their dreams, pass
     a plastic football, fighting, full of life,
     throw themselves into the fence for a catch

boys & girls too young for sex to get in the way
of being or make proximity uncomfortable, innocent,
 sweet tinkling laughter----

 we can’t unsee memories
etched firm in the membrane, the student killed
last weekend by head on collision---all their crying
friends on Monday morning---the unseen
haunts my dreams

 the BUMP of each whorled fingerprint
as my son slips away, the sound a body makes
under the city bus, a gun shot//a gunshot//his hollow cheeks,
in wasting sickness & the look---always
           wanting
         to know
                 why?
                   as if I could protect him,
could i?

 I am no Abraham, I AM
no Daredevil & my fear--- Stands empty,

I pack equipment in silence, so later coaches can play back
highlights of last nights

game & head home, under the same stars,
   where they are sleeping.

Over @ dVerse Poets today, Stu has us delving into our deepest fears&phobias for Poetics. I have written a couple times about mine and it is that something would happen to my kids...So what's yours? write it poetically and come join us at 3 pm EST.

83 comments:

the walking man said...

Some thoughts are best left to silence. especially the ones that begin with why. for them in that situation there is no answer other than damn them that made GUNspowder.

the walking man said...

Nayh nyah nyah nyah First

the walking man said...

I repeat Nayh nyah nyah nyah First

Mary said...

Oh, I hear you with regard to fears that something will happen to your kids, Brian....especially when something like an awful accident happens and takes the life of someone so young! We just have to hope..and pray...

Cheryl said...

This one's perfect. My worst nightmares are made of these images.

Daniel said...

I have these living nightmares from time to time, especially when we are apart for stretches that go on too long. Blessings.

Grace said...

This scares me too specially now that my daughter is 13 years old ~ And when I hear stories of children getting shot, having an accident or just hurt, this just magnifies the fear ~

An interesting prompt for later ~

Happy Sunday ~

Grace said...

This scares me too specially now that my daughter is 13 years old ~ And when I hear stories of children getting shot, having an accident or just hurt, this just magnifies the fear ~

An interesting prompt for later ~

Happy Sunday ~

Monkey said...

Fear...it can be a crippling thing if left to run wild...I know this first hand.

A well written piece on a sad subject miller...give your kids a big hug, and enjoy the day :)

Susan said...

"---the unseen
haunts my dreams . . ."

How relieved I am to hear this poem is about a fear and not a reality! To see harm and not be a hero is definitely more painful than to be a blind comic store hero or even to be Oedipus blinding himself for his errors. It did not make him more strong, and his children had to become his legs and eyes until the gods relented and took him home. And so the children play and then sleep while the adults are the Guardians, the second eyes of God. Thank God.

SueAnn Lommler said...

It is a powerful emotion for sure - fear!!
But it has it's place.
Your words are powerful today...brings shivers to my spin.
Hugs
SueAnn

Pat Hatt said...

That should surely be any good parents fear
Me? hmmmm ummm germs, oh dear haha
Who knows with that
Sure something can be done though with the cat
And sucks the never knowing
With all of life's showing
But can't live in a plastic bubble
And hopefully make it out of the rubble

Lorraine said...

just reading this brings out the cruelty that can not be erased no matter how hard you try..and fears that may or may never ever ever come true. Not my son, never. So many sons though so many daughters, the world is harsh and as much as you'd like to help you must look after your own first. And like all parents I tell God throw everything at me (he has) but don't touch my son, I have to find comfort in that, although they say you can't bargain with God

Pat said...

No one wants to think about losing a child; it is such an awful thing. I just say my prayers every night and thank God for what I have and hope that all of my family will enjoy long lives and good health.

Jeannine Breton said...

A sad writing.....but at the same time so real...We have to live each moment as its our last, especially with our families...

hedgewitch said...

The ultimate fear, well expressed, both in the idea of personal mutilation/unseeing and in the fact that those we love are just as random dots of humanity subject to every danger of fate's whim as those we don't. Solid piece, bri.

Myrna R. said...

I feel you Brian. Sometimes I catch myself worrying about my grandson's future. He's so innocent, and to know the world may soon devour him one way or other causes me distress. But, we must let that go, focus on today's joy.
and etch good memories that we won't be able to 'unsee'.

Have a great weekend.

Eva Gallant said...

You never stop worrying about your kids, and then you add the worry about grandchildren!

Maggie May said...

Ohhhhh dear!
Some really spine chilling stuff here.
I suppose my biggest fear is one of abandonment when I realise that I have no one who cares..... Hope that never happens!
Must work on my relationships.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

farawayinthesunshine said...

How well you write of the fear inside, Brian.

The recent suicide, of a young teenager girl brought on by cyberbullying is something that brought on another one of my deepest fears regarding my children.

Will I be able to protect them?

Goofball said...

the safety of ones children ...I guess that is the most important thing to all parents


found your poem a bit difficult to follow however

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

Wow Brian...I don't have children (maybe someday soon), but I can only imagine the fear...of seeing every newsreel horror story and imagining it happening to your own.... really enjoyed the way you wrote this...the reality slipping into that dreamlike (or should that be nightmarish place) and then back again....here's praying to all the parents for whom this has happened- because i don't know how you would recover from that

Natasha Head said...

You did well with the subject, Poet...no way I was going there. Can't even let my mind drift to it, for all sanity would leave me. Some would call this denial and a refusal to accept what "may" be...I call it survival and an acceptance of my own limitations...I tip my hat to you today.

rosaria williams said...

Nothing takes away that fear, because life is just so fragile, for each one of us.
You capture that well, Brian, and with it, you capture what's it like to be the one responsible, the adult, the parent, and keeping vigilance is all you can do.

JANU said...

As a parent, everyday is a struggle to fight the fear we feel towards our kids. The senseless violence going on...well done.

Laurie Kolp said...

I have the same fears, Brian. Yesterday my middle school kids told me they had a lock-down at school... just a drill, but for Andrew who's there for the first year, it was horrifying. What kind of world have we become that we must do this?

I love your first line... so sad about the head-on collision.

Sometimes I wish I could protect them from everything, but then again, that is God's job.

manicddaily said...

Hi Brian - well written, wonderful stream and flow. Children are definite vulnerabilities! You've read my poem about 9/11 - my daughter's school about three or four blocks from the WTC--when I finally found her a few hours after the second tower's collapse, I just wept holding her. Even thinking of that moment still makes me want to weep. So little we can control. You've described well. k.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Jesus, a fine piece, Brian. We live in dangerous times, but perhaps we always did, perhaps our own parents had similar fears for our safety. I love the working in of comic book and biblical realities with the parental fears and the line/ my fear stands empty/.

Wander said...

Brian you hit my fear dead on...that would be why I would die to protect my kids..

Haven't been able to link up to dverse for a while , miss it.

My writing hasn't been as hollow as I felt the other day... I was just feeling a bit o despair, and on that day it colored everything grey. I guess I am a poet...sometimes I have dark days.

henry clemmons said...

Yep. Other than sometimes scaring myself ... fear is mostly saved for others. Very good write.

Susan Daniels said...

Oh, I so identify with this--fear of losing someone I love, fear of their suffering.

hollyannegetspoetic said...

The fear of things beyond our control threatening our loved ones - so powerfully told Brian. And there are no answers to that fear are there.

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Wow Brian. This one left me with a knot in my stomach. I have kids, and I think as soon as you have them there is this ever present hum of all the potential dangers awaiting them and it is, as you so accurately portray in this poem, terrifying. Great piece my friend.

anotherwanderingsoul said...

i'm at a lack of words after reading this... uneasy feeling in my stomach. how powerful a feeling it can be to see fears written down.
great job. you scared me good.

Raivenne said...

ugh... I held that fear in desperate check for every moment of my sons lives during their youth.

Your words give such life to this fear of every parent. The knots I slowly learned to release as they become grown men, clenched tight for a moment in memory. Excellent write, Brian.

Other Mary said...

"we can’t unsee memories
etched firm in the membrane,"
You got THE fear of all parents. Beautiful and poignant treatment of the subject. Wow.

Leovi said...

The bullfighters say that fear can not be avoided, they too are afraid, the secret is to know how to master it.

Daydreamertoo said...

I never knew this fear until I 'inherited' Chloe and became her mom by default. Now, I know it too.
I love the interplay between the blind, yet being a daredevil hero and, the helplessness of being impotent to prevent things from happening. As I tell Chloe when she panics about (Me) dying, we are not meant to live forever, we all go when it's our time to go and as long as we fill the bits in between our birth and death with all things good and as best as we can, we can say we lived.
A very thought provoking write. (When aren't they) :)

Therin Knite said...

What a great piece. Thanks for sharing.

Helen said...

Incredible ~~~ another piece of Brian for us to ponder over!!!

pandamoniumcat said...

The biggest fear is that of something happening to your children... I know that I am an overprotective mum... I panic if I am late picking my son up from school. I keep telling myself I've got to let go...but it's hard. My older son wouldn't talk to me when he was 10 because I embarrassed him at the beach...being my overprotective self. Thankfully he wasn't angry for too long. Scary poem Brian.

marousia said...

Brilliant - as parents we walk a tightrope between fear and hope and protection ... I too have those nightmares and it doesn't get any better when they are grown up

Steve E said...

oh! so perfectly true, brian:

"...we can't unsee memories"

(even those unseen...)

sleep well brian, muh man
if ya can, if ya can
there's really no way
to reset clock, today
or evermore
forevermore
nevermore

Betsy Brock said...

My is the opposite, in a way...I fear something will happen to me...and my kids will be left without their mom who can read their minds through their eyes like nobody else can. That's why I always joke I need to live forever...

festivalking said...

Fears as a parent... something I am yet to experience. O how I pray for the strength! :D

Gloria said...

Yes all of us have fears is normal and Im always worry by my kids and they are in a difficult age!
For this I pray every day and put my fears in His hands.

Jan Mader said...

Fear either captures your soul or makes you stronger. So glad this was not a true story....awesome powerful read.

kkkkaty said...

I've always believed that losing a child is the worst feeling in the world...to outlive them does just not seem right...the very idea sends chills up my spine..my daughter and grand children are precious to me as are everyone's kids and grand kids..and you hit the nail on the head with your unique poetry ;)

Susie Clevenger said...

I don't think the fear that something will happen to your children ever goes away. My oldest has lost a kidney to cancer and just this week had more biopsies. I won't even voice what I fear nor will I dwell on it. I just cling to the faith all will be well.

flipside records said...

I love your title. :)

And these:

"boys & girls too young for sex to get in the way
of being"

"we can’t unsee memories"

"head home, under the same stars,
where they are sleeping" ... I like your double-meaning in "sleeping." Everyone needs to wake up and take a look at what's happening to the kids.

sonny said...

i saw the title in my reader and was a little worried about reading it..and i am so glad i did...to put complex fears that haunt i think each one of us, somewhere in our psyche in such a simple yet poetic frame ...wow to the writing..

i have two girls as u know...i think i almost repeat like a parrot all day long...dont talk to strangers...n what not...sigh..

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

I am not Abraham - such a striking line in a remarkable poem - K

Claudia said...

hey...greetings from california...smiles...
i like the honesty in this piece a lot..the intro with the man without fear being blind, the nod to abraham (ugh...always getting goosebumps when i read this story) and that you pack it into the filming scene..real life and honesty..like we're used from you..

ladyfi said...

I share the same fear as you!

sharonlee said...

Hi… sorry I’ve not been around; busy paking as I have have to move.

Powerfully wrenching... the mixed reflections... the air of silent thoughts tormenting the mind.

Bravo

my heart's love songs said...

i hate to tell you this, Bri, but the fear for one's children never goes away ~ you just add grandchildren to the worry list.

this poem really touched my core... a primal fear perhaps?

brilliant writing, as always!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"we can’t unsee memories
etched firm in the membrane..."


Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing the image and what cause you worry with fear Of the unknown, the future, your children [through your poetic words]
...I can't ask you to let that fear go...Because I worry about my family members... too!

[I guess people have to face each day head on and then hope for the best...]
deedee :-/

Valerie said...

After all our precautions, all we can do is pray.

Dave King said...

This is it. I guess everyone can see their nightmares somewhere in this. Fantastico!

Nilanjana Bose said...

I can so relate! Exact same fear...

Sam!! said...

Brilliant piece of writing Brian..keep on doing great work..:))

Take care

Sam..

Pauline said...

For most parents, the greatest fear is that something will happen to his/her child. I like the way you worked both the lightness of childhood and the darkness of parental fears into juxtaposing stanzas.

Sabio Lantz said...

Lots of images -- a smorgasbord.
I couldn't feel a coherence, but then fears sometimes come with no coherence -- unfocused, ready to grab anything and write it down.

I certainly have the nasty haunting vision of my children hurt -- all good parents have that, I think. Well, all I have asked.

Lydia said...

Because you are a quintessential dad, you wrote a quintessential poem about your worse fear. It gave me shudders and I said a prayer for your little guys that they be safe always.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Its one of those fears that only a parent knows and your first born makes you re see what your parents were.

Wolfsrosebud said...

... how we wish to take their pain and sometimes all we can to is pray... knowing, my husband lost an infant son in a previous marriage, that God sustains

kaykuala said...

There is fear in everyone. Imagined worries grip our thinking all the time. But when it comes to our kids our fears are real. Nicely Brian!

Hank

Raven said...

You write incredibly about children/your children. This poem made me think to myself OK, it is time he put together s book of his poetry of children.

Ginny Brannan said...

We cannot protect our children from the realities of life, only be there to hold them, to listen and guide as they come to understand in their own way, their own time.
I still do, even though my son is grown. Thanks for sharing this glimpse into your thoughts, your life, Brian.

annell said...

Tht is a deadly fear, if you have children, and if not the fear for others. And yet, something will happen, nothing we can do, so let's hope it is a good happening. If only.....we could protect them.

Paula Wooters said...

It's a balancing act, trying to encourage our children to be independent while at the same time trying to protect them from harm. It's so difficult to keep your emotions on an even keel.

Heather said...

this gave me chills and tears. my fears are the same...something hapneing to the girls or to me, having my girls grow up without me...that's probably my worst fear right now...
i loved this btw

awakenedwords said...

impressed again, sir. they way you weave this all together is masterful. well done.

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Awesome write, Brian. Definitely something we cannot help but fear. I think the best we can do is just not think about it.

adan said...

some powerful pondering there!

"we can’t unsee memories" -

but still really liked,

"boys & girls too young for sex to get in the way
of being or make proximity uncomfortable, innocent,
sweet tinkling laughter----" ;-)

the blend of the innocence and brutality that sometimes happens -

make me think, and wonder too, thanks brian

Fred Rutherford said...

Very cool piece. Love the phrasing throughout, very cool. Strong images, and yeah, a very good example of perspectively based fear. Great write. Thanks

Jack said...

Wow. Daredevil is so hugely appropriate for the topic, nicely done. Reading this made me think of my own fears, and that's atypical from a poem.

lori mcclure said...

"I am no Abraham" - Boy, do I ever get this one. I have had to actively work on not dwelling on the possibilites considering some of the things I endured as a child. The truth is that you can be ever-vigilant and still miss something. I try to do the best I can and then leave them in God's hands, but it's easier said than done for sure.

Behind the Smile said...

I think my emotions rode a little bit of a roller coaster. I was stressed stomach clenched feeling the fear then it relaxed for only a few seconds and then happened again...I kept reading drawn in as you see tragedy but want to avoid it at the same time. Fear...I felt it in your writing. Brilliant.

Sorry it has taken me a while to come by-other things demanding my attention. Smiles.

Sue said...

My worst fears have always been about my kids, too. And Dave's worst nightmare used to be that he was in the ocean with them in a boat, and they fell in but he couldn't see them in the water to save them.

Parents are vulnerable people. As the saying goes, we walk around with our hearts outside our bodies.

=)

Syd said...

I guess my biggest fear is being old and alone in a nursing home.

poetjanstie said...

That is one very powerful poem, Brian. It has left me feeling uneasy, so the poet has done his job, because it moved me that way. It maybe because

poetjanstie said...

...because it resonates much deeper feelings of fear in all of us, many of which we don't want to face. This one is a candidate for the final short list, Brian. Very impressive poetry.