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| leaves in a web & the moon |
Indian summer afternoon, the bell
no longer echoes, kids run here & there
to meet a bus, a car---heading home, i'm
on the shore
of chaos---
an owl on watch---
ferret of truth---
the trickster fox---
'Have a good evening Mr. Miller'
'Yes, you too. Don't forget...'
the test, but they are gone, cars in, cars
out & waves of bodies duck between,
a white sedan cuts & weaves, slamming
the horn, HOWLing out the window & a kid
detaches from the curb, silent, eyesCast
down-the sound of each footfall as maddening
as 'WTF are you waiting on get in the GD..'
dad giving it to him, point first-spear,
not through the back but the breast
so he can--'Look at me when I'm talking
to you'--see the life leave in 21 gram mist
off the lips, the door opens and they sit
there, so the kid can really feel how much
of a fuck up he REALly is, dad's face contorting
& contracting--f''This, f''That, i waterWalk
the chop, cross
by the open window say, 'hey, have a good evening'
to the student---i don't even know---but know,
catch dad's eye, so he too knows & continue
onto my ride, lean on its side, in
five minutes, the parking lots empty, save
trash & tomorrow is a test, he won't study for
just attempting to pass & won't look back come
eighteen, home a nightmare awoke from---all the same,
the scenery's just changed---i finger
an origami ring
one kid gave me today, pulling it piece
by piece into a paper sun, then a ring
then a sun---it rises, sets & rises,
sets---
there's a promise
in there, some-
where
It is OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets & the poetry is flowing, flowing, won't you jump in the stream...smiles....hey write something, bring it & let's have a bit of fun. The doors open at 3 pm EST.
Personal Note: My wife's father was admitted to the hospital yesterday---my family is down there & i don't know much more at this point but appreciate any thoughts you might send up.

132 comments:
I hate it when kids are treated so badly by a parent. I remember it so well....
Sending prayers for your father-in-law... really hope it's not too serious.
a quick update: my FIL has pneumonia and was anemic, he is losing blood somehow and they are not sure how so they were going to work that more today, and monitor his heart through the night....will maybe know more today....
kinda brutal, home an awake nightmare, i hope he sees the promise...
and you're all in my prayers!
Awful when home they roam
And can't find safety in their dome
The world's crap is bad enough
To go home to something just as rough
But as long as their is promise there
Sure hope is there with a little care
Hope all gets better fast
And you FIL puts this thing in the past
Love to your family Bro....
Very hard sometimes to watch these interactions between kids and their parents...especially knowing that things are probably not good at home. How neat that a kid gave you an origami ring!!
Thinking of you and your family and your wife's father.
And I thought it was you who had pneumonia...and tweeted the same. Hope he is better soon...prayers for him.
We are under the misconception that parents love their kids unconditionally...but its a different story you told.
This one hurts brother. Its just so unfair and pounds on my heartstrings for him. His abuse today is affecting his future tomorrows.
Praying for the Millers too. Blessings.
That kid has the greatest potential of all once he learns to scrape the dog shit from his shoes and move away tangentially.
Heartbreaking when parents are bullies...I can't understand.
My thoughts and prayers to your father in law and the whole family.
prayers for your FIL today...
prayers for that boy,too...
I sometimes think that when the child or teen is spewing lies and curses and is unmotivated, I look to the parent and see the same scenario. You painted a heart breaking family scene ~
Prayers to your family Brian ~
How you captured this everyday life vignette and this child suffering so well. The ongoing cycle of family violence...why?...
Sending prayers for your father-in-law and for all your family.
So very sad that the son is the target of the father's hatred. Your poem got to me. Hope FIL is going to be okay...
I hate to see anyone treated badly...esp. children and animals. They have no say!!!!!
Sad for sure
You captured it well
Hugs
SueAnn
With you Brian. May all be well. Love the poem.
Just now read your update. Hope he is doing better, he is in my prayers, you and your family.
Kind of puts studying for a test in a stark context. He's got bigger tests to manage. Bless him, bless you, bless your FIL.
Parents and kids cannot have it easy all the time. Sometimes it may hurt the kid more. It may impact on his values in future. Pray everything ok for your FIL Brian!
Hank
i love that you write about things in life, and magnify them for us....all to see. love the origami reference....there is always a promise in everything...even tiny ones.
i enjoyed this
Oh, this breaks my heart, Mr. Miller (lol). He is lucky (as they all are) to have such a positive role model in you.
I do hope your father-in-law is okay.
Oh, the chaos of carline and the heartbreak of the abusive parent. I've seen it too much, too. Nicely captured. Love the origami ending.
Tina @ Life is Good
http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/
P.S Praying for your family.
Tina
My son's best friend lived this. When he turned 18, even though he hadn't graduated from HS yet, he left home. He's crashing with friends now while he tries to go to school.
I will say a prayer.
Joy always,
Susan
Your poem expresses beautifully the helplessness we feel when children are abused this way. I have a similar story, which is unfortunately closer to home (family). I can't even tell it yet.
Sorry to hear about father-in-law. Of course, my prayers are with him and your family. Take care.
You wonder sometimes how people can be so mean to their children! Hope your FIL recovers quickly and completely.
Oh how I love that photograph! And also your treatment and creation of the word "paperSun." So visually and spiritually stimulating, for me.
Indian summer. What a beautiful way to begin. I love this: "i'm on the shore of chaos---an owl on watch"
"HOWLing out the window" Ah, back to the owl reference. Nice.
"Howling out ... the kid" really nice layering. Paints a clear picture. Also with "the kid detaches."
"see the life leave in 21 gram mist
off the lips" Holy cats! (my new expression) This line is awesome.
"so the kid can really feel how much of a fuck up he REALly is" Oh Brian, tears coming now. I love what you did with "REAL." If he is real, acts like himself completely, then he is worthless. He will have to figure out how to become someone else so that his dad and others will love him.
"the scenery's just changed---i finger" ... And this is exactly why you rule as a poet. I love, love, love this kind of word play. There are so many poems hidden within poems when you do it right. And you always do. :)
An origami ring. That is precious. You're heading straight into the paperSun at this point. (And there it is just a few words later. I knew it was coming!)
I love your invisible question mark in the last line! It's in there somewhere. But where? Great hyphenation/line break. You are so clever.
One more thing ... I love that the line "[now] there's a promise" refers back to the symbol of the sun rising and setting. As if just another day being given is a promise that life will keep going. That all things are comprised of seasons.
I think this is the sad part, though: "in there, some-" ... It seems like the promise is only for some. At least, that's how it feels when you're that kid getting screaming at while watching the kids with "normal" lives get into peaceful cars.
Impressive work, Brian.
This just broke my heart, Brian.
Sending good thoughts for you FIL.
So sorry to hear about Tara's dad, Brian. Keep us posted.
Yes, we witness, we hope, we remain as watching owls. Thank God for those.
so much of your heart in this..i'm glad you went there and said good evening to the student..maybe that was just the ray of light he needed to know someone sees and someone cares..also love that part with the origami ring..hey..i'm sure there is a promise somewhere in the folds..smiles... prayers for your father in law & fam as well...
My prayers for your family have been sent up! Love this piece...Such a harsh reality
My prayers are with you and T dear Brian!
Prayers for your father in law Brian. Hope they can sort out the pneumonia and find the bleeding asap.
I feel so bad for that boy, goodness knows how you must have felt to watch it. Talk about how to teach a child not to have any self esteem or any clue as to their self worth. Some people didn't ever ought to be parents. I'm proud of you for being subtle and letting that awful man know you were hearing his tirade.
Sad subject but.. such beautiful poetry once more :)
This is a painful read. There are so many. There is promise in every one, but when the promise comes true, for some it is a miracle of strength against the inevitable.
I'm so sorry to hear about T.'s dad. I'm sending good thoughts for you both, and him.
Good thoughts your way...
And I loved this!
Conversation weaving into observation so artfully! Love, love this!
Prayers for T's Dad Brian.
This stabs me hard...that father...how often this happens...your saying something might have broken up the intensity for a second or two or I pray for the evening....THIS TIME.
So vivid, the people that live in your poems,bri-- and how hard it is to watch their lives knowing you're on the outside and there's little you can do beyond the kind word or gesture. Lots of beautiful language here to set a sad mood yet a never giving up sun in those last lines.
Best wishes and hopes for your father-in-law.
Phew, hit close to home as that's the way my Dad spoke to my brother when he was a kid. So hard to forgive and understand. Love the image of the origami ring, beautiful when life imitates poetry. Very sorry to hear your FIL is so ill, it's hard on everyone I'm sure. Sending good energy.
Excellent poem Brian, quite vivid I think. Best wishes to FIL. Take it easy.
The imagery in this poem is so vivid. The compassion and observation that comes through in every verse is incredible.
Was a powerfully intense poem ... I could see the dad berating the son, and how you passed by just to intervene without intervening... it was a strong poem, as they all are...
I love your style, always have.
And I'm sending up thoughts and prayers for your father in law too...
"Ferret of truth"? I like that.
Also best wishes re your wife's father - it's always hard having a loved one unwell.
That sounds horrible man.
I followed your blog.
So sad - a scene from too many childrens lives - love the glimpse of your day - the ring/sun rising and setting particularly moving.
Sending prayers of healing and peace to your fam. May angels surround you all. K
It's always the sports that bring out the worst in Dads. Let the kid compete and enjoy the game.
I enjoy how you close this poem with the origami ring-symbolic of hope, change, intricacy. warm blessing for you and your family, Brian.
Great writing. Love how it folds over itself. Prayers to you And your family.
Great writing. Love how it folds over itself. Prayers to you And your family.
Getting to the end of all these comments makes me tired--too many to even try to read (grin)!
"by the open window say, 'hey, have a good evening'
to the student---i don't even know---but know,
catch dad's eye, so he too knows & continue"
Get a paper Sun, gift a real son . . . who knows where the gesture and eye contact will go? I love that parents see other adults giving their kids respect. And vice versa.
Holding you all the Millers and the FIL in the Light . . .
Sending thoughts Brian, whether up or down, guess it depends. Fellow I know used to say he was going down to home. Here in Naples, FL, he said that...and he lived in Detroit!
thoughts are still being sent...and so I forgot on what I am commenting. OH YES! OMG! Oh man, I see this all the time, ALL THE TIME. So much so that I'm ashamed to be a member of the same species as people who treat their children that-a-way. It must all fit into the Plan of the Universe...somehow. Somehow.
In Tampa, having a GREAT visit with a guy who should have n=been dead by now...age 49, sober, new liver, new start on life, especially in the so-important ATTITUDE department!
PEACE!, Peep-Friend!
I love the way you write! bringing reality of life to life in your lines.
It is sad when loved ones are not well. Prayers, Brian, to you and your family.
So sorry to hear about your FIL. Hope all is better soon.
I love your poem. Love the bright spot in the ending. Love the poignancy of the moment you captured.
Beautiful writing.
Oh man, the ending...this is KICK ASS!
Wonderful poem - so sorry about your father-in-law. Hope he will be okay. k.
Wow, i felt like I was on that car~
Life sure can be mundane or extremely scary~
Sending prayers for your FIL!
this made me sad. and so sorry to hear about what's happening. rest assured, of my prayers for you and your family.
JJRod'z
Great write, and all the best to your FIL
It is sad to see a child treated like that..to be made to think you have no worth. Your writing was so vivid I could see it happening, see the faces of father and son. Sending prayers and good thought out for you FIL.
wow..Brian thanks for the ride what a great piece I enjoyed your vivid descriptions and how you made us feel like the child..and how history repeats..just changing heads..great write..my friend..
Hang in there Brian. I hope they sort out the problems for your FIL.
As for the poem, I have mixed feelings - the middle confused me, but beginning and end are very strong.
rough, tough and all to real, has to be that promise though, just sometimes hard to find. Well done.
An agony to witness this kind of cruelty.
Brian, first, prayers to your father in law. May doctors' hands be supple...
This point-in-the-chest bullying... it's the same thing that kid will do to his. Pointless to step in, because the kid will only get more shit for "getting me in trouble from some stranger." Learned that the hard way... Strong stuff. Ferret the truth... Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/02/slp-is-back-creative-juices/
Love the title of this piece and the steps after the shore. Very astute of you to stop and send a message into the car, hopefully it was heard. I like your perceptiveness and your compassion for people. In the photo,near the moon, the leaves are flying like birds.
Best wishes for your father-in-law. Wonderful that he has such kind souls around him.
I of course I' am sending you all well blessings wrapped in my prayers for your father in law. and thanks for the updates.
Yes, there is a promise there somewhere. Love your words, as always.
This brought tears to my eyes...hate when I see things like this scenario. I like that hopeful twinge in the promise. Hope all will be well with your FIL...
Sending thoughts, prayers, healing energy, light and love. Let your family know there's a heck of a team doing that right now. I pick my daughter up from junior high every day, and have just this morning, purchased a notebook specifically for the observations from the parking lot. Bottom-line...you couldn't pay me enough to do what you do. There's always hope for the kids...but its the parents, man...that scare the crap outta me. Awesome write...and more prayers and light. Hopefully the next update will at least let you know what he's dealing with
man, those last two stanzas, really set this poem apart, very well done.
hope your grandfather is ok, i'll be hoping the best for all of you.
I am in agreement with the other comments made. The last couple of stanzas are HEARTBREAKING. I can't tell you how much this kind of thing bothers me. It is so upsetting. You expressed this so well and this piece is packed with 'punch' and poignancy. Thank you for sharing and best wishes for your father-in-law.
Very powerful... I was there in that parking lot... I've seen this sort of man, and yes it is a scary sight even for an adult let alone a child. All the best to your family.
I'm sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. Please do keep us updated.
I really do hate it when I hear children being spoken to in that manner. I know how it feels... very degrading and sad.
Oh Brian I'm so sorry to hear about your father in law - I will be thinking of you all hope they find out where the bleed is coming from xxxxx hugs Lib xxxxx will check in to morrow xxxx
Brian, as usual your words reached in and squeezed my heart. So hard to hear parents talk like that. That kid will probably remember you forever.
Thank you for your wonderful words. My thoughts, prayers and hope that all is well are with you and your family.
I sometimes wonder why people have children, if they really wanted them or were just giving into society's peer pressure. In my book, I think if you have a child, you should invest time and energy into ensuring they have a good life and grow up to be great people.
My prayers and thoughts to you father-in-law and your family.
I would surmise the test is definitely the last thing in his mind. you capture the craziness of dismissal quite expertly. I use to have one of those sun/ring oragami...I'd wager there is promise hidden somewhere within.
Brian, My prayers for your brothernlaw and your family too!
Excellent write as a teacher you shine! Non-violent communication really needs to be taught in our schools and to families.
Thanks Brian!
I can relate to this one. Not fun, and yes eighteen (or before) he'll be shaking the dust from his feet. So sad.
Great writing, Brian.
Prayers for you your father-in-law, and your family.
Sad conversation - I feel so bad for kids that don't have a sanctuary at home... I hope your FIL recovers swiftly
Great capture Mr Miller [don't that make you feel your age?] - the profound sense of chaos and despair and just trying to make it through -loved how you wished him a good night so that his old man heard it. All great details -felt it.
Prayers and love to you and your family - Mosk
Hoping the best for your father-in-law, Brian.
On the poem: I can't stand seeing parents who yell like that at their kids. It's destructive.
So sorry to hear about your FIL. I'll say a prayer!
Sounds like a brutal childhood for the kid in the parking lot. Your poem paints the picture so well (as always). I loved the ending... it felt quite hopeful. Where do I get one of those rings? I'm no good at origami. :)
this is a fabulous write, heartfelt and true.. good for you for letting the father know that you saw who he was.
sending light and positive thoughts to you and your family.
As a teacher I see this too often, but there is always hope. Always. I am glad to be back reading great poetry.
Oh, you do know how to bring life's pieces into clarity, Brian...this such a sad one...my heart went out to that boy. Heartened that you made some contact with that father...let him know...that you know...
Healing thoughts for your father-in-law, Brian and all those in your family. I saw your update on his status...hope he is feeling better very soon.
Sigh ... one can only hope he wants more than what he has at home.
I work in my son's classroom on Tuesdays. I've learned the kids that drive me the most nuts, the rude, disrespectful, spacey, cussing kids (yes even at 6 I get F bombs) are the ones that need my patience most, because those are the ones that have Moms like I did or Dads that are worse. I gently rubbed the back of a boy having a tizzy about writing a proper 23 today. The world was ending as far as he was concerned. You don't know what's waiting for them at home but you can try to make their now a little sweeter. Great capture.
I don't even know what to say and then I read about your FIL... I hope he's better soon. This poem hit me hard. It just seems like we know too much for people like this to still exist... I know that's very naive and unrealistic, but this kind of thing pains me. I know... duh... I was struck by the reference of your water walk and cross and then your intervention... it was something, you know, you never know what may get through to a person. Yeah, I know... dream on.
It makes me so sad to see parents treat their kids this way. Do they not realize or not care the damage it does to a childs self esteem and the example they as a parent are supposed to be to their children..... so, so sad. Glad you eyed the dad. I'm sure he knew what you meant.
thanks for all the prayers for dad. He's in good spirits but still trying to find out why he's losing blood and where it's going...
Your poem was lovely...your words were powerful...sad, true, and powerful.
I'm a writer. Please come visit sometime.
total skills sir!
i waterWalk
the chop, cross
awesome phrase brian . . .
woah - man! i just read your update . . . thinking of you and yours brother . . . strength in the love . . .
great po brian
bless x
This just hurts. What else can I say! Aaargh!
Brian, I love truth. I have read this a couple of times and like it. My favorite part however, is really short and represents a piece of my own truth:
on the shore
of chaos---
an owl on watch---
ferret of truth---
the trickster fox---
I always love your words - you are a master crafter.
It is such a horrible thing when a parent treats a child like that. I don't care if the child is a toddler, a teen or grown, they need to be treated with love and respect. Can only imagine that parent is passing along what he grew up with, all the sadder. Thanks for sharing and reminding us that kids are people too!!
On a personal note, hoping all turns out okay with your wife's dad. Tough when someone you love is ailing and its out of your hands. Whispered a prayer for him and your family.
Prayers for your FIL, Brian. Hope you and your wife are hanging in there. Prayers for you both!
You know there is no escaping family dysfunction this side of heaven. I swear. Painful to see...painful to live through it.
I promise to care. This really touches me. Well told with all the emotion and grounding details.
Thank you Brian! I've been trying to reach out to some serious writers and your blog really caught my eye.
ugh, sounds like you have a lot on your plate.
sending good thoughts your way!
as always, remarkable words.
"there's a promise
in there, some-
where"
Hi! Brian...
I truly, hope and pray, that there is a promise...
Thanks, for sharing
the image Of...
Brian, I most definitely, will include Mrs.[Tara] Miller's father [and the Miller family] in my prayer tonight...too!
deedee
Families can make or break a kid. Sometimes they have to unlearn alot of shit before they find a modicum of happiness. Well done!
love the poetic prose. The scenes are painted so strongly and the ending is perfect. Great read Brian
i hope your FIL is doing better...sending so much positive energy ...
at the end of the day..it must feel nice to purge one's thoughts and impressions of the day onto paper ...the words sometimes are all the balm a tired heart needs...nicely expressed...
The origami ring image connected me immediately with the story of 100 paper cranes! Like a willing of hope and positive outcome though the mechanics are a little rusty and broken! A lively, raw, fascinating poem!
Powerful and tragic words. Excellently done.
on the shore of chaos...indeed true...so hard to see children being treated with disrespect and violence...good that you put in a kind message, made him feel better I'm sure...kids remember, every act of compassion counts...best wishes for a quick recovery for your FIL...
Beautifully written, really tugs - and I thought the visual really caught the mood. Inspirational, that.
Every blessing to you and your family. Hope it's better news soon.
Oh, this was brutal.
And: "I'm// on the shore/ of chaos" is a wonderful line.
So well crafted I felt every punch and every hope.
Sending up prayers for all of you. I hope they figure out what else is going on with your father-in-law.
"There is a promis in there, somewhere"
Indeed, I keep looking.
This one's great! This just shows how important kids are. Hope of our country.
manicure tables
Still praying and hope all is going well.
God bless.
Burden of expectations.. Saddening. Last lines reflect some hope..
Wishes and prayers for FIL..
That must be so hard to witness.... As an adult I know what affect my parents' love and attention, or lack of, had on me, and continues to have on me always. Sometimes a teacher can step in and shine a really bright light on an otherwise dark period. I believe that sometimes it's a blessing to witness these things. It might be God's way of giving you an opportunity to brighten up this child's world. Blessings to you Brian, and prayers for your family...
Oh Brian, really tugs at the heartstrings this, the poor kid.
Thinking of your FIL and all your family. Hope things go well.
Anna :o]
When you write about 'your kids, their lives' .. we are transported to that realm .. no one does it like you.
Sending positive energy to FIL and all the family.
like the way the origami is woven in there... clever title. this is a sad story all too common. glad you made it a point to let dad know you had heard.
Sad story of parents abusing their child. Beautifully and artfully told. I am so sorry to hear about your father-in-law, I am sending good wishes your way, Brian.
Pamela
remembering you and yours today, Brian. Love the imagery of the origami ring and sun, rising and setting - so much hope there.
You are a master... in so many ways. A poet, a teacher, a mentor, a light. I was a kid like that. Teachers like you gave me hope. In addition, this poem is a piece of art, a message undeniable, writing tight and right.
A fine, dramatic account of an all-too-common situation .
My thoughts with you and yours. I hope you've had better news since your earlier bulletin.
Just heartbreaking. One thing I absolutely love about your poetry is how you can start out painting a picture with details and conversation, and the poem suddenly takes a turn in another direction or altogether different tone....but you do it so naturally and so seamlessly. I love it. The origami ring is a great touch man. And my thoughts are with you and your wife's father.
your expression easily captured me right into the moment. The hope you create in its finished, beautiful. ~ Rose
brilliantly told, of course! but heartbreaking... i'm sure you helped him more than you know by just saying "have a good evening."
the origami ring/sun sounds amazing!
my mother had the internal bleeding "exploratory" endoscopy and colonoscopy and then was able to be treated by taking her off aspiring and giving her an oral medication for just a couple of months. hoping your FIL is something as simple, too!
♥
Strong commentary--with hope for a positive future at the end. Nice.
awe man this is horrible, hope he gets better soon, :(
ugh on the kid's father. how can we help the boy? Pray, pray, pray. Praying for you FIL too.
So glad that you said something to the kid and in a way, let the father know what he was doing wasn't cool. Some kids just don't have a chance. And yet they deserve to have so much more than what they have drawn as their lot in life.
Thanks for letting me know about the FIL. The esophageal varices can be banded and once hepatic arterial pressure is relieved, all should be okay.
Perhaps a bit late here...
Having had my education partly in city schools I can identify with this piece.
Just reading a few pieces on this virtual visit...returning the favor.
Nice words you left...I found Sendak when my children were young - about 25 years ago.
Sending good wishes for positive healing. We had a health scare here too this month, with an almost 90 elder. Thankfully not life threatening. But still scary when you have to loose pieces...One eye will no longer see.
Pneumonia is not fun. Over fifty some odd years ago I lost a parent to that ailment - then, before they knew more of how to cope with and treat it.
Hopefully all those prayers offered will balance and tip the scales of karma...All the best.
You can edit and print 'pieces parts' of this comment. Or not print it at all...that's a nice thing about enabled comment moderation...
I am truly sorry about your father in law and you have my prayers.
Your words here both beautiful and heart braking ... gives the real feel.
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