Thursday, October 4, 2012

MeetingTheBar: in an uNForeseen Kiss

downed tree

kshhhhhshhhhhshhhhhhshhhhh
shhhhhshhhhhshhhhhshhhhshhhhh
TCKARKOOOM SKIAshhhhhshhhhhshhhhh
shhhhshhhhhglurrggggggllurlurgggggchashhhh
shhhhhh plipplipplipplipplipplipplipplipplipplip
plipplipplipplipplip plink plink plink
plink plink plink

RUMLABALABLA

plink

plink

ploop



ploop



ploop

Remnants of rain litters the grass, leaves & limbs
a paper cup from a fast food joint, thrown out a car
window or washed off a porch. Each green blade
glistens under a once more sun, the water in wispy
waves rises where the lawn meets the asphalt. Earth
flavors the air. A deer pokes its head from behind
a rough bark copse of trees.

plink.
plink.

Last drips freefall inside the gutter to the aluminum
bend, run out onto the stone, disappearing into mulch.

ssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSssssssssss (a man on a bike,
rainslicker shiny & yellow)

FWAPchish FWAPchish 'Hehehe,'
    'Watch.' FWAPchich sLOOsh
'Hehe' (two kids in rain thick sole rain boots,
mix with puddles)

my cat stops to shake its paw with each step,
one last drop lands along my brow, follows the lines
to the corner of my eye, around my cheek to my lips
in a sloppy wet kiss---I AM
alive & without regrets


Over at dVerse Poets today we are blending poetry and prose with Anna, our newest pub tender. It is a fascinating article, so stop in when it goes live at 3 pm EST.


Today is my oldest sons birthday as well, but he won't be home to open his presents being down with my family at the FILs. Dropped a note in the comments last night, but they found the source of bleeding and are figuring out what is next.

101 comments:

Mary said...

One

Mary said...

Love your play with words in this poem, Brian!

Alive with no regrets is a VERY good place to be.

Heather said...

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

ladyfi said...

Just wonderfully written!

manicddaily said...

You are very good at breaking rules and getting to the result the rules aim at at once. By this I mean, even your prose is very poetic! AT the same time, you manage to use the contrasts really effectively.

Great close. k.

ps Happy B-day to son; hope it's not too difficult. k.

Gloria said...

Nice! Some days the only important thing is be alive!
Happy birthday to your son and hope all goes well xx

Pat Hatt said...

haha the cat likes the sounds
Today at your grounds
And getting splashed by your cat
You need a foot wiping mat
But then rules are for fools
So jumps around and kick up ones heels like umm mules

kaykuala said...

Interesting take,combining prose and verse. Both create a lot of movements. One feels riding on air.
Happy birthday to your son, Brian and pray things will work out ok for your FIL

Hank

farawayinthesunshine said...

Happy birthday to your son, Brian. Praying for your father-in-Law

Alive with no regrets is much better than most ;-)

happygirl said...

I hope your fil is well soon. And happy birthday to your son.

HisFireFly said...

praying with you, for you...
peace, comfort, wisdom for doctors, God will to rule and reign and His name to be glorified!

JANU said...

Sounds good. That's why I like rains a lot.

Dave King said...

Tremendous piece of writing. What a cracking opening!
Every blessing to your FIL and happy birthday to the birthday boy.

Ravenblack said...

The sound of rain. One of my favorite things. Fun to think of rain as kisses too.

Hope things keep better, and to your son, a happy birthday.

Eva Gallant said...

Love the description of the rain. Happy birthday to your son. Glad they found the source of the bleeding. Hope all turns out well.

Kelly E said...

Oh, I so want to hear you read this! Beautiful! And that last line is perfect.

Myrna R. said...

Happy Birthday to your son. Sorry his day won't be as planned. And hope the best for your FiL and all your family.

I love your observations of nature's process here. I heard the sounds crisply and glad you have no regrets.

Dana Dampier said...

I'm loving all the sounds you added in there! They were fun to read!!

Happy Birthday to your son!

I sure hope they can figure something out for your FIL. Healing thoughts and prayers still coming your way.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Been a while since I slid along so enjoyably on the onomatopoeia wagon, sir, def gets the job done; made me wet just reading it. OK, a prose poem for 2nite's MTB. Love your last line, a grabber.

Alice Audrey said...

So glad they are making progress on your FIL.

We got our first percipitation in 42 days just yesterday. It was snow.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Oh rain. A welcome thing...at least THIS year.

Hope your FIL improves quickly. Happy Birthday to First born son.

hedgewitch said...

I'd love to hear you read this one out loud, brian--it's full of amazing sounds (and images to suit them.) Happy birthday to your little Libra, and glad you at least know what's going on now with your FIL--best wishes his way.

Steve E said...

Gosh, Brian. As "My" tree was so kind--it makes a simple write. (Right?--grin!)

When I awoke one week later, they asked, "Boy, did that tree make a helluva lotta noise as she tumbled?

I said "Surprisingly No! She just shook the whole forest with one loud
T H U D and here you found me under this mountain of branches. WHY is my head all bandaged? What is all this crap on the table, which looks like brains? I'm tired! ZZZzzz.
PEACE!

Steve E said...

Gosh, Brian. As "My" tree was so kind--it makes a simple write. (Right?--grin!)

When I awoke one week later, they asked, "Boy, did that tree make a helluva lotta noise as she tumbled?

I said "Surprisingly No! She just shook the whole forest with one loud
T H U D and here you found me under this mountain of branches. WHY is my head all bandaged? What is all this crap on the table, which looks like brains? I'm tired! ZZZzzz.
PEACE!

Happy Birthday to the "KID". Hope his being at FIL house, will bring the FIL some cheer, hap-PEE-Ness! (That doesn't sound like I intended. Oh well!)
Bye!

Anna Montgomery said...

You draw out the sound exquisitely in the beginning, slowing and focusing my attention. You keep your inimitable poetic voice in the prose (free fall such an effective transition back into the sound). Throughout the water both connects the actors and defines separation. To be alive and without regrets is a blessed state. A moment of bliss blanketed by rain, mud, and love. I am very sorry to hear about the Agent Orange. War has a lasting legacy of cruelty.

Claudia said...

smiles..i much like sloppy wet rainkisses and i like all the sounds in this..fun and playful write..such precious moments when - just out of the ordinary - we realize how much alive we are...happy birthday to your son and all the best for your FIL as well

Mama Zen said...

I adore the image of the cat shaking its paw with every step!

william said...

sorry for the absence mate, have a lot to catch up on, this was a great poem mate, you just get better everyday :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Love this, Brian. I felt as if I were there.

Happy Birthday to your oldest! Busy month, huh? Must be those cold January's.

Jenny said...

Well, I heard the tree fall, felt the rain on my face....you sure have the reader [me] in the lines of yor writing!...Always looking forward to the next days.......

Happy Birthday to your son. Hoping everything ends positive for your FIL.

Fred Rutherford said...

So creative. Awesome Onomatopoeia. Very neat. Thanks

insanebloom said...

Love the word play, Brian!

Stephanie said...

"alive and without regrets" The best way to be :)

Susan Daniels said...

Beautifully blended.

Natasha Head said...

I can smell it. I can taste it. I can feel it. I can sense it. Every fiber of being comes to life with you in this one. Your finish is fantastic...and the prayer chain's still flowing. Bday greetings to your boy as well...I suspect not being home is harder on YOU! Stay strong poet.

Rachel said...

oh this thing of rain.

alive is a beautiful thing to be.

festivalking said...

This is so cool Brian... as always you amaze me sir! :D

Cheers!

Daydreamertoo said...

This is so full of amazing sound that you want to say aloud just to make those noises...lol
I LOVE the swishhhhhh of the bike wheels through the rain.
Another winner all the way through.
Happy birthday to your oldest boy and I hope the news is good on your FIL. Finding where he is bleeding is a good start, now they just need to work out how to fix it. Still sending good love, prayers and vibes your way, to you all.

adan said...

sloppy kisses can be fun ;-)

and very much hope all the best for your son brian!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Oh, totally got me in and carried me along unresisting...

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

PS Adding to the good wishes for your son.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Inspired! Loved reading this aloud - I want to hear you read it aloud.

Good going Mr, Miller.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

My author friend just made me read this to him in the car. Dude, you made me work!

Jessica Lynn Lang said...

So awesome. I loved reading this poem. Nothing beats the sound effects...I do love how you paint life with such reverence.

Sue Judd said...

Well! A very Brian approach to a challenge, great write...

Rebecca S. said...

'Earth flavours the air'...exactly.

Nico said...

Your poem took me there, just after the rain--what an enjoyable poem all around."Water in wispy waves." Nice!

Raven said...

Very e.e. cummingsish ... and quite wonderful. haven't written anything. Pretty much write on Mon., Tues., Wed. Say, how is your father in law? Better I hope.

Jenny Herner said...

A wonderful rain of words! I especially loved "a once more sun"!!

Daniel said...

Love this piece. I get it. Every plink. Every plop.

Also, continuing to pray for your wife's family.

Blessings.

KB said...

Happy Birthday to your son and hope your FIL is better soon.

Sheila said...

bizarre that I wrote about rain too. especially since I wrote it last month! Loving me some great onomatopoeia here :)

pandamoniumcat said...

Love the sound effects, I felt like I was there, and the deer peeking over a corpse of trees, this was just a lovely capture of ending of a rain storm.

Heaven said...

Prose and poetry...you do it so seamlessly Brian ~ I like the words splattering like rain drops... without regrets sigh like pink dew drops ~

Happy birthday to your son and prayers for your FIL ~

ayala said...

Alive with no regret is a great place to be. Happy Birthday to your son. Thinking and sending prayers to your father in law.

Jan Mader said...

So glad I found your blog...you are amazing! Actually, everyone here is amazing!!

LeahJlyn said...

Nice, there is nothing better than being alive you are write. I miss being in the rain as kid. Like this. Happy Birthday to your son :)

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...
I'm happy to read that the source Of your Father-in-law bleeding was found [Now, to wait...]and I still have your, wife, and family in my thoughts and prayers.
[Cont...]

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"Remnants of rain litters the grass, leaves & limbs
a paper cup from a fast food joint, thrown out a car
window or washed off a porch..."


I too like your mixture Of poetry and prose. The image compliment your prose and poetry too!

[Happy Birthday! to Logan] Right? ]
deedee :)

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

What a storm - could feel the thunder! Happy you & fam are celebrating and that your fil is on the road to recovery. K

Secret Agent Woman said...

Alive and without regrets. You can't ask for more than that.

PattiKen said...

Oh, you do have a way with words. I'm glad they are making progress with your FIL. I hope this is a good sign. Happy birthday to Logan. Logan is the older, right?

Tatius T. Darksong said...

Love the sound effects :)
"Alive with no regrets" uNForeseen Kiss Life is good,
Enjoyed it.

Kim Nelson said...

Dear Brian~
My favorite line here? "I AM alive & without regrets"
I AM as well.
Hope your FIL feels better soon.

Leovi said...

A great poem very sound after the flood.

sreeja harikrishnan said...

There is fun..rain and life....loved this...

wood said...

well, your style of writing always brings those great prose elements to your poems, so this was probably fairy easy for you.

and as always, you mix great sounds with great images, voice, texture, sensation, every line is a full meal, the way (and this is just my opinion) good prose poetry should be, enjoyed very much my friend.

sonny said...

unforeseen kisses are the best...and felt deep inside...
interestingly beautifully weaved visions and feelings brian...thoroughly enjoyed this...!

am late for this...but i so feel like giving this a try....

Zuzana said...

Dear Brian, I am back from my very long break, never planned on being away so long.;) Love this poem, so eloquent and such a tangible description of nature - you know that appeals to me. And it all ends wit a kiss, could not be better.;)
And as you know, I live with no regrets as well.
Not sure exactly what your last addition means, hope everyone in your family is fine...?
Happy birthday to your son and a great weekend to you dear friend,
xoxo

Cressida de Nova said...

plink plonk
****ZAP*****


Valerie said...

Great! Poetry and prose and a handful of a new and strange language ... but I 'waded' through until I understood what it was about.... grins.

Happy birthday to your oldest son and continuing prayers for your father-in-law.

Lydia said...

This was so exciting (groundbreaking) it almost took my mind off of your FIL being hospitalized. Am sending healing thoughts and a prayer.

Shadow said...

i LOVE your last line, perfect ending!

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

You are truly meeting the bar! I do not know many who can write quite like you!
Bravo!

I hope your father in law will feel better and please give a hug for me as a birthday gift from Auntie Shakira from Malaysia. You are such a wonderful father, always admire what a beautiful family you have! Take care now.

Mine is here
Have you a ROCKING AND BLESSED WEEKEND!!!
hugs
shakira

the walking man said...

Rain is a bit late this year. What are we going to use to make all of our biofuels?

awakenedwords said...

nice Brian, places us perfectly in that moment as the world comes back out after the rain, each detail builds upon the last leading to a great close.

Archna Sharma said...

How nice, I like how this piece falls to the surface just like a rain drop. Also feels like this could be part of a comic strip. Love the cleansing feel of the first rain, can't wait for some.

What a great day for a birthday, happy birthday to your son! Best wishes to you guys.

Other Mary said...

Wow - I love to hear you do this on Soundcloud or something.

Tara Miller said...

the sounds you've added really bring your words to life with all senses involved! I bet this was fun to write....

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Another awesomely vivid write, Brian. Nice!

Beachanny said...

Pure music! Capturing sounds to me has always been at the very "heart" of poetry. More important than meaning...speaking sounds that transfer something other, more, else. My early stuff was always stabbing at this stuff, but you elevate here by communicating thought as well as sounds and music. Very effective!

AmyLK said...

I agree with Liz, this one is hard to read out loud. Hope FIL is improving and the #1 son had a good b-day

mrs mediocrity said...

Oh my, this is fantastically beautiful... the language is incredible, and the sound-effects added just the right imagery to the scene.

No regrets is the only way to go.

Keeping your family in my thoughts.

izzy said...

Someone finally clued me in to "FIL"
I had no idea who was bleeding- so sorry to hear this. Hope they are
better now!

kkkkaty said...

Cool! ..also hope all is o.k.

nephiriel said...

wonderful, wonderful images.
i want to be one of the kids...

amazing poem.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Mixture of sound and imagery mixed with prose poetry- good stuff

ND Mitchell said...

So creative. Loved this. What a great piece of word exploration!
With prayers for your family situation,
David

Annmarie Pipa said...

No regrets...wow!!!
happy birthday to your son..hope things are going well with your family.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Love the description of the rain, particularly the cat part.

Happy birthday to your son.

Paige said...

brian you are an amazing poet and and amazing man - full of compassion and the wonder of life.

Susie Clevenger said...

Alive with no regrets...an excellent place to be...love all the word sounds you began the piece with.

my heart's love songs said...

i would have sworn that i commented on this, Brian! i'm sorry... i know i read it!

i love your sound effects!!! BRILLIANT writing, but i expect nothing less from you!

Happy birthday to both your boys {how'd you guys manage to have them both born the same time of year?} i hope your FIL is doing better!

Sabio Lantz said...

I was outside with you enjoying the drizzling, drop, kerplunkiiing, sllooooshhhhh.
Nice

Pauline said...

creative onomatopoeia - the best kind!

Syd said...

Happy birthday to your son. Hope that your FIL will get well soon.

Cheryl said...

Glad they found the source of your father-in-law's internal bleeding & are working on helping him.

I love love love this piece. So evocative I see and hear it all in my mind's eye.

poeticlicensee said...

Play on words, as always, fun to read. Have had serious problems with not being allowed to comment on all my favorite writers' blogs for quite some time. Askimet informs me they believe they now have this problem corrected. So, I'm trying first with you. I will now try to post this comment. If it doesn't work, I suppose I will just have to remain frustrated & try, try again with Askimnet...

poeticlicensee said...

Play on words, as always, fun to read. Have had serious problems with not being allowed to comment on all my favorite writers' blogs for quite some time. Askimet informs me they believe they now have this problem corrected. So, I'm trying first with you. I will now try to post this comment. If it doesn't work, I suppose I will just have to remain frustrated & try, try again with Askimnet...

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

I enjoyed this one too. :)

Saba said...

apturing sounds to me has always been at the very "heart" of poetry. Buy Kapidex More important than meaning...speaking sounds that transfer something other, more, else.