Sunday, October 7, 2012

clutching at secrets

Left a message in the leaves for you

i wince.

bedsheets lose heat quickly and having had all day in the basement are frigid, yet after the initial shock of immersion their cold fingers sooth the muscles of my back & legs, draining sinew of  serious pressure-nothing special, just life.

i flip through Sandburg & settle on a few poems before bed, something for the unconscious mind to tinker with while i sleep.

                      A stone face higher than six horses 
                     stood five thousand years gazing 
                     at the world seeming to clutch a secret.

entering the room my wife pads to the closet. door open i watch in the mirror over the top of the book as she changes into bed clothes---returning to the page as she turns, giving a random line an intense look, as if waiting for it to move.

the bed moves slightly as she enters & i settle the book on my chest, push a thumb and finger into my eyes, working them back and forth. we talk of things that are none of your business, well really of no interest to you & and i really remember little, distracted by the warmth of her leg on mine. it's smooth and...

'want to cut the light off?'

'yeah,' she answers & does,

drowning the room in black, our eyes adjust. taking in the faint hint of moonlight that leaks through two small windows. the dark is a blanket we wear, my book thunks to the floor, forgotten & i will apologize to Carl tomorrow, if the opportunity comes, finding myself occupied currently.

'i forgot to leave the light on the stairs for the boys,' she says

stilling even the cricket that sings every night as we close our eyes & fills the room, leaving us unmoving, turning the thought over like a found bauble to see where it fits in the story we were just writing together & the possibilities that come with not responding

like a good mother, she rises, passes through the night, clips the switch and returns, her flesh cool now. i pull her in and we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between, clutching secrets until dreams overtake us.

Another write, just to write. The italicized verse above is from Sandburg's 'The Has Been.'

75 comments:

CiCi said...

Great photo. Lovely writing. Solid love.

Susan said...

" . . . our eyes adjust. taking in the faint hint of moonlight that leaks through two small windows. the dark is a blanket we wear . . ."

How lovely and intimately domestic, including the poetry book and the interlude and the sentence about the back stairs light! A journal entry, a flash fiction, a poem, a memory (another little stone in that jar).

Maggie May said...

What magnificent writing and I loved the photo too.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Luke Prater said...

Beautiful - the style is unique (so far on my travels) - you confound both the definitions of 'prose' and 'prose-poetry' with this piece; the lack of caps or periods makes the paragraphs feel almost like stanzas and enjambment, and there is more poetic device here than you'd find in your average prose. For me it;s a long piece of prose-poetry, but let's not get bogged down by semantics.

This is just wonderful -

we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between

and truth there is in that, and when truth is written and the reader can relate to it, then it's truth indeed.

Monkey Man said...

love....brilliant,true....perfect.

Syd said...

Nice. I like those moments when we fall together in bed or turn into each other in the morning. Either one is sweet and good.

Laurie Kolp said...

Could feel the cold sheets... glad you two were able to warm each other up.

Steve E said...

Man, when you write--"just to write"--it becomes a masterpiece, from the "Brain of Brian" (future book title?)

And from observations of temperature fluctuations...to fluctuating intimacies, you are master of communication. In POETRY, yet--GRIN!

I "suspect" you have mastered life, and mastery of word followed in the immediate shadow.

Your Friend-Peep
HAPPY Steve!

HEY, am I #8? That's a close as I'll ever get to NUMERO UNO--grinning!

Geraldine said...

Lovely from start to finish...what a romantic guy you are Brian.

Love the leaf message too.

Happy Week, G

Daydreamertoo said...

Awww... this made my eyes tear up. I love to see love, and, you have shared some of its magic here Brian.
There is nothing can beat to love and to be loved. Sex is the icing on the cake.
Beautiful.

Hilary said...

Lovely as always.. and your loving, leafy message too.

Paula Wooters said...

Ah... you make me believe in love again, Brian! Thanks for that!

DJan said...

This is beautifully written, and I was there, even though it's none of my business! :-)

hedgewitch said...

The little details and turns of phrase are what make this one radiate warmth and life. I think Sandburg would have been quite disappointed in you if you *hadn't* dropped him.

Mama Zen said...

Of course she got up to turn on the light! Really like this one, Brian.

kaykuala said...

Feeling young and loving it. In fact we all felt young at that moment in time when relating to your verse. Had my great weekend, sir! Thanks Brian! Nicely!

Hank

Claudia said...

so romantic..love the leaf message and the closeness in this...the story we were just writing together..it's wonderful to write such stories together, open to develop in different ways..that's what i love about life..it's never static

Myrna R. said...

I love your musings. And I doubt Carl minds that so easily you can forget about him.

Sounds like you've had a good weekend. Happy for you.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Beautiful sense of the specialness of the everyday--and every magical moment within--lovely Brian

Heaven said...

I love the leaves message ~

This one echoes of warmth rising from the moonlight, dark is the blanket we wear (I like this) and settling into the comfortable places of each other ~ Nice turn to the secrets quote ~

flaubert said...

A reason just to write, is the best, Brian. I love the comfortable feeling of this poem. I could feel the warmth emanating from it. Very nice.

Pamela

Pat Hatt said...

Even in the cold
With things not so bold haha
The warm touch wakes all up to settle in
For a good night's sleep at your bin
I'll take cold anyday
For sleeping at my bay
Of foucrse getting warm and cozy
Is more than rosey.

Tara Miller said...

Smiling and feeling all warm and...as I remember the message in the leaves. I love that you're so romantic - sigh.

I also dearly love you and our snuggly moments living life together.

Daniel said...

Sweet. I miss those moments. Miss them tremendously.

Tom said...

i see yur still at it...my what staying power...back in from a brief respite myself. Good times, man!

Terminally Ill said...

Still livin the dream I see. Keep it up broooooooo. Check out the new Terminally Ill song on my blog. It's called Box of Wine. You're gonna love it!

Terminally Ill said...

Still livin the dream I see. Keep it up broooooooo. Check out the new Terminally Ill song on my blog. It's called Box of Wine. You're gonna love it!

Modern Day Disciple said...

Sweet moment. So much captured, even a lifetime in a glimpse. Love it all.

AND I wrote a poem today- hooray!

Leovi said...

Cursed cricket ...!

Annmarie Pipa said...

sounds like fun!

Mary said...

Brian, I love that you read poetry before you sleep. And that your wife goes out to turn on the light for the boys. A very touching write today...love it.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oh, I hate having to drag myself out of bed for some forgotten task!

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm still thinking about the cold fingers of the bedsheets, and how the couple warms each other. Such a sweat routine, so familiar... how the speaker can be both sexy and casual and parental... definitely sweet. And real.

ayala said...

Love this, Brian. :)

^.^ said...

So lovely, B ... so lovely ... thank you.

Brandee Shafer said...

I love the feeling you capture so well...when it's coolish, and my beloved is so warm...

izzy said...

Snuggles are the best- warm or cool,
nice one thanks for sharing and including the touch of Sandburg....

PattiKen said...

Very lovely, Brian. Nothing warms quite as well.

christopher said...

If we were giving stars...I would give this 5.

Excellent.

Linc said...

Brian, we do not know each other, and I haven't read everything you've posted, but whenever I stop by and take the time, I am always moved, always amazed, as how you dress such lovely thoughts, be they warm and inviting or otherwise, in such simple and easy words. You are truly talented, Friend, and you grace us all with every post. Thank you.

Liza said...

I love this. This made me smile. You guys are so adorable.

Raven said...

And another wonderful poem ... always when a man write so lovingly of his wife, it is a great pleasure to read. The only difficult part for me was: just as one person yawns ...then so do I, well, you were rubbing your eyes, so I started to do the same. My eyes told me that I had forgotten that I had been eating hot peppers. ;)

Valerie said...

Written from the heart and so beautiful.

my heart's love songs said...

{{{sigh}}}

"i pull her in and we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between, clutching secrets until dreams overtake us."

beautiful!

SueAnn Lommler said...

Tender, sweet and romantic! Your words...streaming like the moonlight..effortlessly moving through time.
Thank you...loved this
Hugs
SueAnn

sonny said...

huge huge grin.....please write more just to write....!

sonny said...

loved the book thumping to the floor..i can relate...lol

Lydia said...

You are so present in your writing. I don't know how it could get any better than this, your descriptive poem or the kind of marriage it describes.

Sam!! said...

Hi Brian,

Such a lovely piece of writing..loved it!!

Hope U doing well in ya life :)

Take care
Sam..:)

Dave King said...

Superb. There are so many good things here: the Sandburg quote followed by:

entering the room my wife pads to the closet. door open i watch in the mirror over the top of the book as she changes into bed clothes---returning to the page as she turns, giving a random line an intense look, as if waiting for it to move.

I found the sexy and deep --what more can a fellow ask?

sage said...

That's beautiful! And I'm sure Carl doesn't mind being kicked out of bed

Alice Audrey said...

Tsk, you aren't that old to be feeling the creak of sinew. And do you really think she doesn't know you're watching? lol.

ladyfi said...

Aww - so romantic and tender!

Tina said...

I can see the whole thing. Feel like a peeping Tom...LOL. Thanks for letting us in. Love the part about fitting together. Years of sharing a bed and you know each other's ins and outs, and it's comforting regardless of what may come next.
Tina @ Life is Good
http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/

farawayinthesunshine said...

...we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between, clutching secrets until dreams overtake us...

The magic of a couple's unison seeing through your words. How beautiful Brian. Happy Monday to you too :-)

Jenny said...

Oh Brian, this "clutching secrets"..
romantic, tender and none of our business.....but you bring us there....well written .

Friko said...

Bless you, dear Brian. An Idyll many wish for and few have.

manicddaily said...

Very pretty piece. Really nice. A kind of evening air is conveyed and the warmth. k.

lori mcclure said...

Well, 'clutching secrets' is such an excellent phrase. I can see why it sparked something in you. And good idea on reading the poetry before bed, so your brain can get to work writing for you. So that's a bit of your prolific secret, I suppose, huh? :)

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wonderful verse!

Eva Gallant said...

Nice description of bedtime at the Millers'. Beautifully written!

kj said...

brian, this is so compellingly comfortable and sensual and intimate. so many fantastic lines and images deservedly mentioned already.

it strikes me that you are a very lucky man. not just because your wife is obviously so present and with it. and not just because you can write so eloquently about your marriage. but because you KNOW.

big smile, lucky man.

love
kj

Lyn said...

Good, now you're writing in your sleep..I don't stand a chance! Nice meeting good human beings!

missing moments said...

Such a beautiful composition of the quiet moments of your life. So lovely.

SaraV said...

Brian, I so love that phrase-i pull her in and we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between, clutching secrets until dreams overtake us.
Those comfortable places of each other--yes! A beautiful write.

Me said...

I'm late to this party...but "we settle into comfortable places of each other" is heartbreakingly lovely.

The whole piece is, actually. Wonderful.

G-Man said...

Yeah...
I think that if I couldn't sleep, Sandburg would put me right out!!!
Better than Nyquil...

RMP said...

a lovely (just to) write. I like the cricket paragraph...like holding your breath hoping not to break the spell and yet knowing it will.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Brian, romantic yet not idealized: Turning the light on for the kids is the parental side of marriage. I love how you write about your wife. She must be a wonderful woman. You two are blessed to have found each other.

Lex and I agree that the best part of being married is the trust... and the maybe/maybe not of spooning! wink Amy

Joanna Jenkins said...

Big sigh. You have a lovely marriage. I'm happy for you both.

jj

Susan Deborah said...

Well, let her see the message before the wind flies the leaves off.

Love the verse on the intimate, not-so-important and tender moments before sleep covers one with its feathers.

Joy always,
Susan

the walking man said...

Warmth!

Holly said...

Thank you. I needed to find my way here today. To read this. To hear a person find something to share in the mundane. Thank you for reminding me that even the mundane has magick when someone takes the time to notice it.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"like a good mother, she rises, passes through the night, clips the switch and returns, her flesh cool now. i pull her in and we settle into comfortable places of each other, only truth between, clutching secrets until dreams overtake us."

Hi! Brian and Tara Miller...
I like the image and your [private] moment...too!
Thanks, for sharing your writing just to write moment...
deedee :)

Pat said...

Gosh I love this. Sigh. And your photo. Just great.