Saturday, September 22, 2012

Poetics: P.O.W.s & underwear

Bristol, VA

adults should not wear superhero underwear,
i think, at the rack in Walmart, yellow&black
bat signal sack or red&blue with golden S shield,
hmmmm---

it just seems presumptuous, imagine them
chest puffed, taking a flying leap on the bed
only to have it break---nothing says sexy
like a trip to the ER---where
the doctor takes one look beneath the drape
then excuses himself to laugh
with the nurse at side jokes---'up, Up
and aWay!'

if you got to dress it up, you ain't got it and i much
prefer my freedom anyway---this is what happens,
when turned loose to wait while my wife grocery shops,
i wander around, look&find the unusual, cause give me
the list, i'll end up fetal position in a corner

i bore, retreat to the attached McDonald's,
sip a dollar sweet tea & watch tomorrow's feed
for People of Walmart---God,
she looks like Gollum, two booths over
nursing coffee---sparse hair, ungreyed black
hacked short in sprigs from her round dome cranium,
big bug eyed, thick bags hang on the fingers
of her cheek bones & thin lipped in just
another shade of skin or mole, crooked teeth grin
with a twitch, twitch---'my precious, my precious,'
whispers my ear lobes lisping---bathroom
door bangs open, a kid flings himself out,
into her booth & that grin

her precious---takes his hand to say grace
before the syrup & pancakes---sips coffee
never once taking her eyes off as he relates
Power Rangers or Angry Birds, something---no need
for superhero underwear here---she is beautiful
& i the poorer, in their leaving

scratch this remembrance note, check my watch,
take a sip, then another--- toast their now empty table
---'to survival' in a world that doesn't care
what's under
the exterior.

Today at dVerse, Karin of ManicDDaily is having us get all unexpected---or explore the unexpected---and what better for me than a visit to Walmart...oy...(and the 'heartless' way i describe her, it was for a point, so don't hate....smiles) anyway, chaperoned the Homecoming dance last night so I am in recovery mode today...smiles...Poetics opens at 3 PM EST. See you there....

77 comments:

Maggie May said...

This one made me chuckle!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Wow......the Power of Walmart.........

Funny, eh.....what we see when we look.......... ;)

Have a great day, mate!

(though for the record......I don't mind my men in superhero undies......I was brought up in the Underoo Generation.....) :D

Mimi

kaykuala said...

The convenience of an attached McD saves the bother.At least one gets to 'meet' different types while sipping coffee.Their antics make one chuckle to oneself. Wonderful write Brian!

Hank

Anne said...

I think it's cute when a man can still behave as a child and wear superhero underpants. Now note that I said cute and not sexy!

I like how you flipped this from looking at quick surface appearances to really seeing what is there.

Have a happy Saturday Brian!

Jack Edwards Poetry said...

Great post. I love to people watch, which is great because I'm never short of nutters round where I live.

Grace said...

The batman outfit and gear was my eldest son's favorite. Being a hero in someone's eyes is precious, who wouldn't want to be. But I think its relative, we can't really judged others by what they wear.

Happy Saturday Brian ~

DJan said...

I could see her in my mind's eye as well as if she were standing there. It was too vivid! :-)

Mary said...

Sometimes there are occasions which help us to relearn those old familiar lessons again. This seems to be one of those times.

Monkey Man said...

so I should get rid of my spider man unders??? lol

Daniel said...

You continue to show me a better way than what I know. Blessings.

Pat Hatt said...

hahahaha oh what undies can do
I prefer freedom too
But you know those batman ones
Can signal if you got the runs?
You think?
At least they aren't pink.
People of walmart are just plain scary in every way
Such an awful display
And yeah a list is a bore
Better to just trot through the store

SueAnn Lommler said...

The everyday people make our lives richer and much more interesting.
Loved this Brian
Hugs
SueAnn

Gloria said...

Ahh you make me laugh I can image all Brian! Lol

Adura Ojo said...

We live in a world that really does not care much. The mundane observations in our lives take a whole now meaning when we pause to take it all in. Thanks for sharing, Brian.

Betsy Brock said...

haha...oh, I loved this. Thanks for taking us along.

happy recovery mode, oh gosh. ha.

What Is Gothic Dreams? said...

"Poetics: P.O.W.s & underwear"
"she looks like Gollum, two booths over nursing coffee---sparse hair, ungreyed black hacked short in sprigs from her round dome cranium,
big bug eyed, thick bags hang on the fingers Of...crooked teeth grin with a twitch, twitch---'my precious, my precious..."


Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing a very descriptive unexpected moment in your life...through your poetic words.

[Thanks, for [also] sharing the image...Now, get some rest after chaperoning the Home-coming dance...LOL]

deedee :)

Glenn Buttkus said...

When I find myself people watching, I become the poetic eye, the fly on the wall, and those wonderful observations swirl; yet we always forget that the "people" we are watching are watching us, me, and they see this intense looking overweight senior, wearing a ball cap low over his glasses, cradling his cane in both hands, who is uncomfortably staring at them. I wonder what their own poetry will be like later when they recall the event?

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Brian, your (superhero) powers of observation never cease to amaze me! I love all the detail you pack into your poetry. I've been a bit busy and therefore absent lately, and reading your words is like coming back to old friends and catching up on what has been happening for you. Thanks for the unexpected journey! Oh and BTW, two of my tat pics (stage 1 of the whole piece) are now on my Facebook if you are still curious!

Claudia said...

ha..you had me shock-frosted at your unexpected change of voice in stanza four...deep sigh of relief when your brian voice surfaced again..smiles.. we're so fixated on looks that it needs good eyes to see beyond...glad you did but then you always do...and...wait..do you mean i have to throw away all my superhero underwear now...? ha..smiles

Helen said...

Brian ... you are the consummate 'observer' of the human condition.

manicddaily said...

Very sweet, Brian. You are a generous and kind observer, and also (not so unexpectedly) very funny. k.

Kim Nelson said...

Brian,
You managed the miraculous... you made me thoroughly enjoy a trip to Wal-Mart. I love the time-passage element of this piece, as well as the personal evolution that accompanied the sequential scenes.

Laurie Kolp said...

You brave soul chaperoning the homecoming dance and then venturing out to Wal-Mart early the next morning.

^.^ said...

... funny ... in away ... but not funny when you think of the hubderds of peeps, that are trying to make it ... no matter wahat ... don't know, might be wrong, B ... LOve, cat.

Magpie said...

So glad you were given a view under the outside trappings. Humbling.

David F. Barker said...

Yes, great stuff Brian! Made me smile... with surprise.

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

Save us all from Walmart - Brian, it was a shock in the middle of the poem, then the redemption in the end. Definately had me paying attention! Great - K

Victoria said...

Those Walmart photo-e-mails make me feel almost normal.

Sue said...

You are quite the observer, but even better, you always seem to come away with something uplifting. Or important.

=)

Daydreamertoo said...

Another fine observation Brian. I thought that is so unlike you to have a go about how people look (the woman) then realised why.
As a kid and young adult, I never thought there was a thing wrong in (super hero) men wearing their underpants on the outside of their trousers, now, I'm in two minds... LOL I giggled at the thought of the Doctor laughing with the nurses behind the curtain... LOL

Myrthryn said...

Lookout Diana Carter!

Myrthryn said...

I started with a chuckle, turned serious, then wonder. This is exactly what good writing can do.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I loved this from humor to observation, to transformation, to the humanity of the final toast........Yes. I think people look at me that way now. I just hope they like what they see. The little kids I spend time with do. Love the "my precious" I always hear it with Gollum's lipth....listhp......lispthe!

Bodhirose said...

I like how this moved us from one (funny!)perspective to something altogether different...how quick we are to make judgments...I love when I'm found to be mistaken...and notice that switch inside of me...

Natasha Head said...

Are carebears acceptable on the skivvies of an adult? Do I have to throw out my wonder woman costume now? We should use Walmart as the prompt for poetics...see if they're the same all over...felt you strong in this one, precious...along with a few other characters ;)

nephiriel said...

wonderful, wonderful turn.
funny and beautiful both, great qualities.

hollyannegetspoetic said...

Like the way you lead us in different directions with the characters Brian.
Oh and I too have underwear in my response to Karin's prompt! Though not Superman ones I'm sad to say! lol

Wander said...

Describe away Brian...good for you for being a good father, good man

mrs mediocrity said...

you made me laugh and then you broke my heart wide open... that is an excellent poem. and i loved the peek into the way your poet's mind works.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I used to wear Superman underwear but, in an age of cell phones, can't find a convenient phone box anymore.

hedgewitch said...

Your mind wanders in its usual alrming amusing and amazing way through this one--yep, judging by surfaces is usually a mistake, but I'm totally agreeing with you about the Hello Kitty underwear for women, too. That is just wrong. ;_)

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Well done, Brian. ANother vivid scene painted, and the point is well expressed.

S.E.Ingraham said...

Beautifully told - the second stanza made me laugh right out loud - there's so much reality in this; it's just great ... and yet, there are touching moments too ... very nice, very.

http://nsaynne.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/suddenly/

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Brian, I didn't find anything heartless in your description of the woman, probably a grandma with a desperate chokehold on youth, from the hair.

The whole superhero thing is lost on me, but I will confess, in my 20s, I had Betty Boop underwear, about 7 pairs!!

You are a prince, chaperoning. Good on you, friend. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/22/first-frost/

Ravenblack said...

People watching > shopping for groceries. :)

Prejudgement on a stranger broken by emergence of a child, and the turn as she give him all her attention and how she looks different after that. I noticed that in some people I know, how they are hard and all, and then they are different when they are with their kids. Like this very very much.

Raven said...

Ah Brian, I have missed your work ... and I know you have understood my absence. You see the world in the most amazing way and translate that perfectly. This gave my a hint of seriousness, wild luxurious smiles, appreciation and much joy!


Thank you.

PattiKen said...

Could there be an place as rich with humanity, its stories, joys, and sorrows as Walmart? Didn't think so.

pandamoniumcat said...

This is beautiful and brought a tear to my eye...how wonderful to see life through the eyes of a child... how better off we all would be.

Nancy said...

Super hero underwear, hmmmm.

my heart's love songs said...

i also got teary-eyed at this one, Brian! we all need to remember that the exterior isn't what's important!

a lovely exchange for you to have witnessed.

have a lovely Sunday!

Valerie said...

I love your ability to see below the surface. Happy Sunday, Brian.

Polly said...

The final lines '...in a world that doesn't care
what's under
the exterior' hold the key ~ a grim indictment Brian ~ beautifully written, well set-up for the denouement ~ social comment at its best

irene said...

Love it! A vignette that's humorous and kind and hey what a great title.

Sabio Lantz said...

Great surprise.
Actually, sort of like my poem -- did you copy? :-)
It was very successful -- you trapped me.
I was disliking the poem -- its criticisms of the pleasures of others, belittling others appearances and self-righteousness.
Then you expose the judge in your mind and take him to task for us pointing out where that pride blinds us from beauty.

I often don't read your poems because they are too abstract, unconnected, jumpy and all that modern stuff. This one kept me moving. However, I was about to jump ship in disgust when you timed it perfectly to show me your heart.

The phrasing, as in your other poetry, is amazing -- but this one I was able to stay and learn. I will keep trying -- you push my edges! Thanx mate.

Goofball said...

oh gosh adults in super hero underwear would be creepy. Yikes.

like this one!

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

such wonderful pictures and great observations. My daughter likes these but she only wants the ORIGINAL meaning, I may have to sew her one. LOL

Thank you for sharing your day with us.
Very fun read!

Have you a great weekend.
hugs
shakira

Lorraine said...

'to survival' in a world that does not care...truer words and all...I'm beyond the pain of surviving

Nilanjana Bose said...

Loved how you flipped the fun to serious at the ending line...enjoyed the poem v much..

Tara Miller said...

I love how you wrapped this up.. Many in our world today only see the outside, make their judgement and don't take the time to see and understand what's on the inside. Which is what really matters...the heart.

Pat said...

This made me laugh! I love your observations - I feel like I'm right there with you in the booth at Walmart!

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Even a witch has kids and superhero undies better live up to expectations when you fly...

Mama Zen said...

Point beautifully made, Brian.

tony said...

Yes.....Beauty is Unique......All Our Superheroes Are Disguised In Plain Clothes Civies These Days.

ayala said...

A great observation... and how true so many only see what's on the outside without taking the time to see what's inside.

Anna Montgomery said...

I laughed and then sighed, how blind we can become to the inner life, transfixed by surfaces. Wonderful as always.

jackie dick said...

Oh Gawd! I needed this. Laughed my arse off. But then the last couple of lines also hooked me in the other direction. Great, great write, Brian. I'll match your Batman undies to my Betty Boop ones, any time...even tho, underneath, I might be something from the House of Usher..lol!

thejuliebook said...

Loved this piece, Brian, so much I had to read it aloud to my boyfriend--and it was even better that way. :) So many great bits in here--laughing over the superhero underwear, knowing all too well about that frightening shopping list, and then a great transition into the heart of the piece--heartless, yes, but beautifully done.

flaubert said...

Brian, I am not sure whether to cry or laugh at your descriptions of the woman. My husband and I watch the evening CNN news and are just in awe of how crazy the US has become. The Walmarts are nothing of the sorts here, but then again I am not Mexican. Excellent write, my friend.

Pamela

vbreverb said...

"---she is beautiful
& i the poorer, in their leaving...."
So true when you are privileged to witness a loving relationship from afar.

turtlememoir said...

well i wondered there for awhile, brian, but you came through as i knew you would... ;) you've got it right, though, about the "world that doesn't care
what's under
the exterior"

Sheila said...

nice! fantastic showing of what really, really matters.

Sheila said...

and btw, why weren't you helping your poor wife grocery shop? Shame on you! haha!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Both entertaining and wise. :)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree***except for Superman. Loved this write too!
seasideauthor no write .

JStar said...

LMAO...LOVE THIS!

Alice Audrey said...

What interesting creatures we are to hide something truly precious under a gollum exterior.

Syd said...

Not wanting any underwear but the superhero kind made me laugh. Very funny on that but glad that the little boy is happy.