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| truck @ the mall, Roanoke, VA |
outside the coffee shop, at a metal table,
fiddling my legs to get blood flow-ing again,
after being bit by seat bite, with my wife---
so hot, the sun is burning
a man crosses the lot, line by line,
hugging a case of beer like a loved one,
a colicky baby, a savior with 23 disciples
fresh from the baptismal waters
& he's weaving which ever way
his feet fall
a cops pulls up, out front & goes in
for his afternoon siesta, radio chat-
chat-chattering over the squeak
of his two shoes
sweat slips hair to hair in a mad game
of Plinko down the side of my head
when the man trips, still embracing his treasure
rolls around the middle of the road-righting
himself on hands & knees in a prayerful pose
pressing his forehead to the cardboard
cars whizz by on growling tires
reminiscent of demonic vocal hemorrhages
platitudes reserved for grave side manor
& i poke my head in, tell the cop
but by the time he drains his cup
the man is gone as Elijah,
gone as Hoffa, gone as a bat
dipping low for sustenance
finding the grill of a Cadillac
my coffee much cooler
than September.
This is the first year I have not posted about my 9/11 experience on the anniversary since it happened. I will talk about it a bit over at dVerse for OLN---I don't know what happened to the guy in the poem above---its a true incident that happened back during our recovery from the derecho. Life changes in a moment.
It's time once again for OpenLinkNight over at dVerse, where this evening I will be hosting our festivities....poetry, community and a raucous good time...come join us at 3 PM EST when I open the doors.
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108 comments:
quite the picture you paint, i can even feel the heat...
ya....life does change in a moment...you captured that moment well....i knew without a doubt what it was building towards....
It came across as a true incident as I read. A powerful evocation of what must have been a gripping few moments. I shall look out for your 9/11 post.
You set the scene well, Briqn, and then carried it through. I liked the last stanza especially well with its different examples of gone-ness. Yes, life can change in moments.
Brian,
A powerful read! Use of imagery and metaphors abound as you pull together rich-mixed emotions! I end my reading with a deep sense of reflection on the profound impact of this day 9/11 -- Joan
your words make me want to know more... i wonder too what happened to him..
and yes, life changes in a moment.
i will look for your 9/11 post.
im back in blog world after a bit of a break - :)
I was totally enthralled by this, even laughed at the guy hugging his case of beer. But the ending was sobering.
Gone in a moment, life changing episodes... A man and his crate... Things moved fast apparently! Nicely Brian!
Hank
Brian, I can feel the heat of the day. I too wonder what happened to the guy, the ups and downs of a day. Look forward to your 911 post. smiles.
They say God takes care of baby's old folks and the occasional idiot.
Oddly enough today is the first time I wrote about 9/11. I am tired of the body count.
Ah, what is it like to watch someone die in front of you, to see it coming but powerless to do anything about it? Powerful poetry, deeply moving and profound
Brian... liked the glimpse of faith in this piece... so sad it can all come down and no one really seems to care... loved the last few lines... great ending
I like the many messages you wove into this piece, my love and remember this incident well. Life can and does change in an instant - sometimes for good sometimes with obstacles to overcome. Whatever the circumstances, that which one holds on to does help to determine one's outlook on their present situations and ultimately how they handle it as well as how it turns out.
You seem to see a different world than I do. Yours has texture and color and oddities and the unexpected. Mine, well that's a different story.
I can see the man hugging his treasures even when he tripped along the way. Life is full of unexpected turns and can change in a moment.
True story, eh? That is actually sad, then. Hope it all turned out for him and his treasure. He would need somewhere to imbibe and relieve himself in private...
I guess we should be grateful that he was walking and not driving. I love how you can create a scene in my mind with few words. It was like being there, watching.
Wonderful pictures in words...many feelings here.
it is always so amazing to me how you capture moments... :)
What a moment you capture at your sea
Too bad life had to flee
It can change so fast
Making one a thing of the past
And turdbusters you say?
hahaha first I ever heard of that my way
Interesting flow to this one.
Wonderful - I love the man with his beer like Elijah and bat - and feel the heat.
I wasn't going to post about 9/11 again, but it is almost impossible down where I live not to be acutely conscious of it, so I probably will. k.
That is so sad, to see the man so attached to his alcohol he would die for it. I suppose cops get indifferent or can shut out suffering and seeing others die. I'm not sure if this guy walked away or he was killed in an instant but, yes, life changes in a flash.
You capture the heat here so well, the sweat dripping hair to hair.
Life is very fragile.
Another fab capture Brian.
"outside the coffee shop, at a metal table,
fiddling my legs to get blood flow-ing again,
after being bit by seat bite, with my wife---
so hot, the sun is burning"
You always set the scene with a taste of the delightful images to come. And here, you give us the pilgrimage of a drunk after his saving grace. Some Elijah, yet you convince and it is the policemen--a benign presence here--who is either the villain or the non-converted. What a show for a hot day, for a full head of sweat, a grin and a wonder! I'll pop over to dVerse later to read your experience of 9/11.
I feel you should write a novel. Your words are so descriptive.
That is such a sad read. You have sure seen a lot of different things in your life.
I can see this so clearly!
You bring everything alive in this, all the characters, and all the feelings, sitting on the sidelines but still woven into that moment inseparably. I also couldn't write about 9/11 today--it just suddenly felt as if a fragile thing had been crushed under the terrible weight of an entire country standing on its back. This is a vivid and dramatic poem, bri, but also one that makes the mind and memory drink deep.
Life can and does change in a moment...so true. That morning seems like yesterday, thinking back today, crying as I type this.
This is so evocative Brian. You bring moments to life with your words.
My small tribute is at:
www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
On a happier note, I hope your new job is going well. Wishing you a good week.
Okay...I am disappointed in the cop...he coulda had another cuppa LATER.
Wow man, what a sobering story. You paint this poem with wonderful details. I'm interested to read your poem/thoughts on 9/11 at the pub later. Cheers.
Life changes in a second true! we are live now but really dont know in a moment more who knows!
Strong and good story Brian!
yea it surely does Brian. He got off scott free there, can just imagine the law sitting there while all hell breaks loose ~ and then YOUR coffee goes cold ~ cruel irony ~ *pouring you a fresh one Brian* and me too come to think of it ~ cheers ~ will pop in to read your post this eve (just seeing the president on our TV) and remembering as if we'd never forget ~ see ya later Brian ~ hugs Lib x x
Brian--loving this.
Cold beer is the drink for September,
Though your man was almost dismembered;
Coffee is a bit more sober
(And even better in October).
Funny how life can turn on a dime...and how moments like these are etched in our minds...the man w. the beer, the cop, you watching, the heat...vivid and powerful write, Brian.
Wow...what a scene..and what a way to go. But go we can at any moment...you told it so well.
You have a way of writing that makes for easy reading, and it's wonderful. I was there watching it all with you - and there but for the grace of God go I.
"a savior with 23 disciples"
That line took me a sec...but I got an honest pic of them sweating in the hot humid air, the muted tones of their robes and braided hemp sandals at odds with their metallic shining faces, asses concave from too much time on the pot...Line of the week so far, by far!
Wander
so sad... he'll die for that aclohol knowing it'll kill him as well.. yikes.. love all the little details in the 2nd stanza also.. paints the scene very nicely sir :)
You're so adept at transforming these details/events into bright images...each description is a small chapter, the poem like a novelette.
Great scene and way to share it, brian. I love how you look and see things. Brilliant.
Also, on a bit of a different note, it's an important moment for you, not writing about 9/11 for the first time on the anniversary. Remembering is good, but at one point we need to look ahead again, taking up life, and maybe helping to make sure things like that never happen again. Your prompt over at dVerse is definitely such a step, if you ask me. Thanks for that.
too often we see these things (PEOPLE) and action comes to late or not at all...an impression is made but we never know the outcome.
I love how you take the ordinary and share it in such detail in your poetry. It is quite sublime. Peace, Linda
Sombre tones mate, but I have held my own box like that more than once.
a vivid, detailed, and swift commentary on a passing moment in time...bravo Brian..bravo..bkm
Life does change in a moment! What a picture you painted.
Sad Brian. Perhaps because of the date. But so true that people, and things, even places (as we know) can be gone as our coffee cools. Change is inevitable.
Take care Brian.
I agree with Tess.
And I'm looking forward to your 9/11 post.
=)
huh my husband would have been in the street helping this fella in a blink of an eye....but then
he used to be a chicago cop
He once got out of a car to help a fella suffering heat stroke... got him water..called 911 and then got back into the cab...and he heard someone say...who was that man?
we still laugh about that
We both broke up a fist fight between two drunks at sox park..I guess we're both nuts
Hope the man got and gets help
my heart breaks wide open.
this is what we must remember, everyday. that we are all here, together, all human, vulnerable, just trying to make it through.
you painted that picture perfectly, beautifully, hauntingly.
Totally loved the last line....life changes faster than coffee cools...
it's like whiffs and whiffs we try and help with, ourselves a whiff, but at least we know we're in it together
esp liked,
"hugging a case of beer like a loved one" -
i've seen some guys doing that and resented them, but i shouldn't've
i mean, i probably would've at one time, but six-pack is all my neck will let me carry ;-)
Brian, isn't hard to have an anniversary without a tag line? A greeting? "Bummer 8/11"? "Remember 9/11"? Yet as we remember, let's remember who knew it would happen and didn't give a damn...
Your poem, another incident make into art, a small moment but heartachingly human. Your comparison to the 23 disciples was so apt... Peace, brother, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/09/11/comes-the-revolution-for-riley/
Wow, another day in the life, huh? Seems September is still struggling to give up the summer heat, although here in MA it's feeling a bit more seasonal and cool, at least in the evenings. Nice tale you've woven--you are so talented at the fine art of people-watching!!
A thoughtful, thought-provoking post.
I take it the old guy with the beer collided with the grill of the Cadillac.
It is a human (driver) trait that the anomaly of a guy picking up a case of beer in traffic causes less braking response than an amber light.
Thought-provoking write Brian--I wonder what happened to him--life changes in an instant and some survive and some don't---
I had to look up 'derecho'.
Again I'll say it: you make something worth reading out of absolutely 'nothing'
what i find fascinating here is that on one hand, this is so down to earth with the cops and metal table and all the things you can touch and see..on the other hand the whole scene has a certain surreality to it.. love how you describe it and him and also the unexpected, how things happen and we're not sure what really happened...sorry i'm so late...smiles
Love how you always set such fabulous scenes with such fab stories ...loved this ..thank you x x
There is always something very real about your poetry, I am taken many places by digesting the pristine and descriptive wording! Good to read you again friend xoxo
a beautiful take, and quite a picture too!
A wonderfully painted picture filled with foreshadowing and mystery ... I, too wish to know what has become of this character. And I didn't mention it over at the pub but thanks for manning the bar there this day and night and having us all pause to remember ... your recounting of the actual day was both matter-of-fact and heart-felt, not an easy balance to achieve ... well done
http://nsaynne.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/like-pieces-of-confetti-souls-rained-down/
Life is fragile and it changes in a moment, great write.
Always amazing how you grab the ungrabbable, find the perfect knife that cuts into and out of a scene. You could have been a movie director if you chose to - quick cuts are your specialty!
It does read, as Dave said, like a true incident, a scene from ordinary life. And I don't think there's anything wrong or irreverent about celebrating everyday life on September 11th.
Life is so fragile - great writing
"seat bite" is a good name for what you describe in the first stanza.
I'm curious about why you chose to hyphenate "flow-ing"?
its all in the lines such as these "sweat slips hair to hair in a mad game
of Plinko down the side of my head
when the man trips, still embracing his treasure
rolls around the middle of the road-righting
himself on hands & knees in a prayerful pose
pressing his forehead to the cardboard"
that make me fall in love with your poetry. Wonderful write Brian and thank you for always sharing the truth of life. Send you well ~ Rose
Brian...the moments you brought to life for us over at the pub are both a testament to your mad writing skills...and our mad, mad, world. This moment...once again so very real, I find myself playing plinko...always amazing how you so willingly and fearlessly invite us into your moments...no hold barred. Awesome.
Brian, the whole poem is spectacular, as is your signature slice of life, but, I truly love;
"sweat slips hair to hair in a mad game of Plinko down the side of my head
when the man trips, still embracing his treasure"
Damn that is awesome!
Pamela
Wow.. a savior with 23 disciples... what a great image. What a sobering (no pun intended) piece. You know how to take the reader for a ride. Today is definitely a day to remember the fragile quality of life at times... it can change in a moment. I appreciated your share at the pub.
Pen to paper painting a beautiful picture.
"outside the coffee shop, at a metal table,
fiddling my legs to get blood flow-ing again,
after being bit by seat bite, with my wife---
so hot, the sun is burning"
wonderful!
Thanks for sharing your story with us at dVerse. Blessings and love
Powerful ... deeply moving. Our world can change in an instant.
That's an intense picture you paint there. I can feel the heat in this. And I love the Plinko sweat.
sometimes, I take my pad and pencil and sit in a people watching spot. I assign myself what I call, a Brian Miller style poem. The assignment always takes me closer to the details of humanity, at times including sweat. Thanks, Brian, I loved this read, can feel the heat of the day, and feel myself wanting to help the stumbling man.
curvilinear
1.
consisting of or bounded by curved lines: a curvilinear figure.
2.
forming or moving in a curved line.
3.
formed or characterized by curved lines.
Turd-busters! You made my day and possibly my week, funnier; thanks
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
=^..^=
> < } } ( ° >
You see PO everywhere brian
and translate it to the page
with skillz to admire and enjoy
gone as a bat
dipping low for sustenance
finding the grill of a Cadillac
image and motion bro
"a savior with 23 disciples
fresh from the baptismal waters"
I'm guessing that was Coors Light, right? The dude got hit by a Cadilac, but, were the beers ok?
Just joking Brian.... That's a rough day in the city, no doubt... I liked the sweat playing plinko...
Turdbusters, seriously?! Ha!
"demonic vocal hemorrhages"..."gone as a bat/dipping low for sustenance/finding the grill of a Cadillac"
You have such a way with words. I was completely drawn into this story. Would love to know what happened to that poor guy, but of course we never will. You may not have written here of your 9/11 experience (I read it at dVerse; my husband was also stranded like that), but the final two lines somehow evoke it.
oh, man. that is a tragic event, and to witness it must have been horrifying....and you said you didn't write about 9/11...hmmm.
Brian...
I loved your Smashmouth Middle Class!!
You are Like Mark...
The VOICE of your generation!
And thanks for the words of encouragement about my jealous stalker. I finally deleted most of comments, it's like a psychotic rant!!
You certainly know how that goes.
hehehehe
A chilling piece...much cooler than September...gave me a shiver.
i thought i had left a comment~ sorry, bri!
i try not to give in to the fear of an insecure world which overwhelmed me on 9/11 and focus on appreciating "NOW" because none of us knows when we'll go. or when any of our loved ones will be gone.
brilliant writing, as always!
Now, you have to know I like this and I believe you know why. Love a little Biblical word play and someone who knows enough to do it :).
You took me there. I saw it all, felt bad for the man........love the closing lines - the coffee cooler than September. Great write, kiddo.
This is full of dense emotion that is not cloying but making you think and i like that
The devil's in the detail - now you see him - now you don't - fascinating read
Really enjoying your Imagery great write
The cop had to finish his coffee first... hmmm.
Sorry I'm so late making the rounds. On top of subbing yesterday, it was goal's night for my youngest. Pete has classes on Tues/Thurs this semester (his last- yeah!) and so b/t the school, dance and taekwondo, I rode myself ragged.
Aslice of life, sharp observations
Breaks my heart; excellently told.
I love your ability to take a snapshot of a moment in time. It's almost like I'm there. Great piece.
You are a gifted story teller with your poems.
Vivid story telling, Brian. I could see it all.
Very compelling, Brian! The good news is that you are aware of what is going on around you and all the mini stories one could write in any given day (or night)...oh, the drama all around us, everywhere, and people like you who share moments with such talented work...the bad news is that yesterday we were reminded again how we all know more than ever how fragile life is since 9/11, as we think of the many souls who aren't with us today to interact and continue their stories with us, alive and well...BTW, I am late as usual to read and then comment on the 100+ entries this week but will get around to a lot of them later when I have time to sit ;-)
A man with 23 disciples...who leaves like Hoffa... Wonderful! Great poem Brian, bringing out the full elasticity of the truly drunk!
strong write Brian. The soundwork in here is really good, carried the piece, adding imagery in that way, to where the descriptions are filled in and a real scene formed. Great read. Thanks
Loved the irony in this one, as cops drinking coffee miss out on beercase man. You are extraordinary as a writer, for the entire environment is your muse.
Love the imagery and the metaphors Brian. Well penned!
Love this:
"after being bit by seat bite, with my wife---
so hot, the sun is burning" (I think you're saying your wife is so hot, hee hee)
"hugging a case of beer like a loved one,
a colicky baby, a savior with 23 disciples" ... Ha!
"a cops pulls up" ... I think you mean "cop"
Nice: "sweat slips hair to hair in a mad game"
P.S. I love it when you write poems on my blog. Thanks for playing so much lately. :)
it is quite fascinating to see the world through your eyes. you truly bring to life....life.
Brian, you may not have posted your personal 9/11 story but this poem is a microcosm of the way that day felt. It stuns me all over again. Also, your comments at the end led me to the dictionary...did not know "derecho" although the reports of the incident are crystal clear. I wonder why this was not a descriptor used in Nevada when I was a kid, because the description of a derecho rings true to my memory of some storms past.
you draw the picture very interestingly and vividly....enjoyed reading this and was there....
strange story
Joan Didion wrote that life can change in an ordinary second. It can and does. I hope that the man was okay. And that derecho was a bitch I'm sure.
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