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| Venus and the sailor, by Dali (via Magpie Tales) |
the man says, pushing buttons,
compacting bellows, engaging moans
Venus hears
goddess of love & war, inseparable
passionate pair, palm & fist of the intimate
walk through the tenement
each door is the same, yet different
'i do this---
because i love you'
'i just love you so much---
i sometimes lose it'
mixed with amorous affirmations
like some master DJ of the affectionate
wi-key, we-key, whack---
spin that record back
scratch/hctarcs
riap elbarapesni eht raw & evol
love & war the inseparable pair
no, go back further
scratch/htarcs
cisum on snaem gnihtaerb on
no breathing means no music
ah, now there's the rhythm
use it
raw & evol, love & war
raw & evol, love & war
sometimes beautiful, but
no breathing means no music
& the accordion plays on & on & on & on & on
on & on & on & on
& on...
written for Magpie Tales
i have not written a part 2 but wanted to leave this one open...i found it interesting that venus was both the goddess of love and war...and thought to explore their connects...
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84 comments:
First first
With my burst
I like the mirror of words, the ending tying back to the first part ~
The pairing of love and war is an interesting mix, even for music, scratching on and on ~
I read the backwards ones
Which didn't confuse tons
Before the next line
Such a fail for the feline
But as the mirror does flip
And one shoots from the hip
Letting the music burst forth from their lips
Can lead to quite the life trips
raw and evol. clever.
sreehc
Interesting response to the prompt - I like the way you tackled it. Clever:-)
A classic DJ this! scratchings and playbacks. He must be real busy trying to please. Scratching and playback, yes! Very innovative Brian!
Hank
You can't have one without the other, ..., apparently.
"i have not written a part 2 but wanted to leave this one open...i found it interesting that venus was both the goddess of love and war...and thought to explore their connects..."
Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing the image and your very poetic "prose"[words] too!
It seems as long as one generation hand over the "torch" to another...generation.
There will always be..."love" and "War" Unfortunately, lets hope that the latter end in your children and your lifetime.
deedee :-/
what a great reorganization of words here. so very like Dali! Love and War as antonymous, then turned inside out, is a clever understanding of the bigger picture. Breathing and Music as a synonymous pairing simply makes me happy!!!
Mirrors sometimes fog the issue... but see beyond everything... :)
"Never ending!", she says with a look back and sigh.
She was?
Very interesting!
no breathing means no music..the accordion image is perfect for this..didn't know that she's the goddess of love AND war..think i have to ponder this a bit..
I didn't know she was the Goddess of war as we as of love. I learned something new :)
I love the way you wrote this in mirror fashion. Very original. 'Palm and fist of the intimate' Nice line.
Enjoyed all of this :)
interesting read, Brian!
"love and war, the inseparable pair" I like that!
I may have misunderstood but I detect domestic abuse here and the way 'love' is used as an excuse. Including the DJ brings another perspective. Very creative.
I like this idea of love and war being inseperable.
You always have the most interesting repsonses to the prompts, Brian. Thanks for sharing new thoughts.
VENUS VICTRIX was her war personality it seems....
Scratch, replay, forward, backward--sounds, music--I worked in the projects with kids--this hit home-
you must have been a DJ in another life!
So creative... the backwards record playing, I remember that. Can't wait to see what's next!
Oh, very creative treatment! Such a clever, original way of addressing the opposites(?) of love and war.
I think love and war are opposites
a fine line...
Nice write...one of my favorites of yours so far...I like how intimate and tenement/affirmations and affectionate play off each other...
Given a choice, I'm siding with love.
Excellent amorous verses.
holy wow.
this was really cool
like a funhouse mirror
Whatever it is that you're having...I'll have some! Just incomparable!
Interesting form. And, I didn't know Venus was a god of war and love. :)
Backwards or forwards, inside or out, you are a master of the unique.
Read this one twice. Maybe part two will be about the goddess of peace. (I think Irene is her name.) But no matter if no other part gets written. This one stands alone in art.
As I was reading this, domestic abuse came to mind. Love and war.
VERY clever! A thin line between love and hate. raw and evol - war and love. WOW!
Yes is true love and war are a pair...and agree never stop some day you are really happy all is love and nice and other you find all terrible why!??
i dont know!
i just cannot get past the dj scratching to an accordion... :) love it
Accordion ! yup fabulous fun- thanks.
I Like!!
Brian, HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
Whence comes such nonsensical
exquisiteness?
I am in
AWE
EWA NI
MA I
Venus, exquisite yet deadly. A perfect way to explore the duality of human nature. You play well with words Brian.
Yes, the old gods and goddesses wore a lot of hats (partially because pagan religions were extremely localized, tribal and complex, folding in this and that aspect worshiped into one larger diety.) This is a very chewy poem, bri, and I hope you go on to part two--I seemed to sniff some abuse, some crying and lyin in love and raw war--and yeah, that's for sure there too.
I love the reversals. Love->war : raw<-evoL. That is so clever.
Brian, I love the repeating words in this poem for emphasis. Interesting to think that both 'love' and 'war' could be related. Will definitely have to give that some thought.
I enjoyed the fighting dance. And the idea of record and accordion stayed in my mind.
This piece is just so wildly unique, love this exploration. Venus is the duality of moon and sun. She is beauty and love and fertile evolution as is Aphrodite. She's depicted as morning and night, the bringing of procreation and love at night and the readiness of duty and war in the morning.
Love this duality of forceful and gentle touch, "palm & fist of the intimate". I'm most interested in the deities that embody the 'whole of nature', dark and light.
Perhaps you will give us a part 1 and 2, by exploring each side. :) I wish I had more time to blog, hate that I'm missing great pieces. Hope you have a lovely week.
Spin that record forward. I want to here how it ends!
I did not know that Venus was goddess of both.
Perfect, perfect sense.
I will think this from now on as I see couples fighting it out in grocery stores and flea markets. What made them marry each other? When did they begin to talk to each other so venomously? Did it happen one morning, or were hints dropped along the way.
So interesting.
mixed with amorous affirmations
like some master DJ of the affectionate....love that line.
Could the connection be just a matter of ancient politics?
Nice work,
Kat
Foorgive me, Brian! But I never get round to yours early enough to add anything useful . . .
Love the spinning back of the record - and this:
walk through the tenement
each door is the same, yet different
As always, though, a masterclass for which much thanks.
Cheap RG3 Jersey
Gosh this is deliciious, I'd eat it up like chocolate, you are amazing
I like the juxtaposition of the two.
I was mystified by the backward words until I put the brain in gear. Clever stuff, Brian.
Wonderful, Brian - the backward record words inspired - they work very well with the whole piece. k.
I think that many wars have been fought over love. Not necessarily over love for a person but love for power or to possess a land or things within that land. And as long as there is this need for power or possession than there will be wars.
Look at what has been going on during this past week. There is this need by one group to try and force the other group to believe as they believe and they are willing to die or have the other group die to achieve this goal.
Just one group trying to exert power over another group. Is their love for their so called beliefs worth going to war, for them yes, but for the non-believers, maybe when the intolerance becomes intolerable the answer will become a yes for them too. Maybe that is why after years of someone being abused they then become the abuser and end the abuse given to them.
Yes, love and war will always be a pair. A very sad fate for the two.
God bless.
At first the backwords words tripped me up... then I reread it and my coffee kicked in!
Your poem got my brain gears moving this morning.I love it!
Nicely explored, Brian. Looking forward to the second part.
Pamela
What a difficult song to dance to. Yet somehow we manage.
No breathing = no music. To me, the music is whatever your passion in life is and if you're dead "not breathing" to that, then nothing's there. A feeling of emptiness which connects the feelings of love and war. I love the way you looped the words and wrote them backwards. Your talent to write like this blows my mind, love! You do it so well.
You make poetry of dissonance. Not an easy achievement. No breath, no music... sometimes the controller forgets, and then deeply misses the music.
You always look at a prompt...any prompt in such a uniquely you sorta way.
I like that that you say {as|like} my friend thanks
Hi Brian, I like "walk through the tenement, each door is the same..." evocative of many images of domestic love and war. Very creative take on the prompt!
I also liked the mirror images .. will there be a Part II? Beautifully written, as always Brian.
Interesting .. I only knew venus as godess of love ..
Good you kept it open ended .. would love to hear more :)
when I read "scratch / hctarcs" I just figured you were attempting to make a scratching sound. it wasn't until I spent (an embarrassing amount of) time trying to read the next line before moving to the next when it all finally clicked.
very nicely done. love and war...inseparable...
Brian, I just completely enjoy these little stories you weave so well, they always make me feel like I just stepped inside their world and everything is exposed just for me, the reader!
This was about as clever and creative as it gets.
Loved it, Brian.
=)
"palm & fist of the intimate"
Oh, yeah, mix it up, mix it up in the ring or . . . Very wonderful!
your opening words gobsmacked me
Wishing You a happy week,
with Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
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"I love you so much sometimes I just lose it."
Such terrible words.
Great writing -- love your take on war and love. raw and evol.
Great first line and thumbs up for the word play
A great poem, Brian. I didn't know that she was a Goddess of both...it also made me think of abuse..when violence takes over but you are told you are loved...
awesome write!
Anything that goes on&on&on&on, I wind up perceiving as a too willing tool, nearly wrung dry.
So very interesting!
Brian again brilliant and i hear that accordion playing a tune
no breathing means no music
the whole poem I am picturing an organ. The doors didn't fit though in that image.
Love & war; sex & violence; not much has changed in 2500 years...
Love & war; sex & violence; not much has changed in 2500 years...
It all gets down to basics, right?
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