 |
| tonight on the way home, Forest, VA |
feathered wing, flock of seagulls, sand grain
on your big toe knuckle,
each
salty
breath,
tip of the tongue, taste,
grilled jerk chicken, coconut lotion
wet, golden sun skin
& waves & waves & waves
hard edge bottle mouth, parting lips,
perspiring circles on the wood face,
encyclia opening
damp
from after-
noon rain
(blurred line between)
hard sidewalk, grass brittle, sky pinked, sun fade
wind blows, a leaf leaves---as leaves do,
impales itself on a branch
& you & you & you
written for Poetry Jam - which was a lot harder than I originally thought, to write art for arts sake-which ended up feeling rather imagist.
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66 comments:
Lovely. Have a nice day Brian!
And Im first lol
I enjoyed this, Brian, as it seemed a bit of a different style than your usual. I agree that it is 'imagist.' You shared MANY images, and I enjoyed 'connecting the dots' to make meaning. My favorite lines were the last four! Picturing a leaf impaling itself....and loved '& you & you & you.' I think I have to work on being more 'imagist.' I am most often concrete. LOL.
Surreal word combinations to paint the picture, connected all in all with the title. Jamaica!
That last line is classic BM. As always, you write a lovely picture and paint a beautiful story.
It looks like a UFO is apparent in the UR corner of your photo. That adds to the plot somewhat, don't you think? (smiles)
You usually write from the personal and it ends up being art anyway. I do like that line about the leaf impaling itself though. I can both see and feel what your saying here.
this has lots of the flavors of Brian, though in a gentler mood ~ LOVE IT!
"a leaf leaves---as leaves do."
and your title is really cool! {smile}
and that view is gorgeous!!!
thank you so much for joining in at Poetry Jam, Bri!
♥
dani
the title and the last line are my fav parts because i think that is where the heart is in this one....without it the rest are just swirling snippets of images...oh well, it was interesting to try...lol...
It was fun to read, too, Brian. I read it several times, inhaling... :-)
I bit different than your usual take
But the images you did awake
And you and you and you
Was sure the best ending to come due
Adds it all into one
With the images you spun
You gave me a lovely imagine of a sunkissed beach with this poem, Brian.
CJ x
It is different from the norm as I don't think of you as an art for art's sake kind of guy, but still has your sweetness. Maybe I'll try but very tired and quite busy today, so hard to say. Yours is fun though. k.
'denying Autumn, I fall further Every day' - nice title. Very inspiring, Brian! Your poem reminds to stay present, enjoy uniquness of each moment, every day...Thanks
Yes, this is totally different from your usual. I liked it, a lot!
smiles...very imagist indeed..love the image snippets as each seems to carry a story in its own...also like the blurred line in between..def. a painting that makes one stand for a while, look at it and feel the painter's heart..smiles
I AM holding on as well! Beautiful write Brian!
this is like rings floating in the air...
Brian, so many great lines in this--your title made me laugh out loud--Love those plays on words :-) Perfect goodbye to those salty days. Really loved this.
They may be swirling images but they were good.
I've yet to discover what jerk chicken is...must peruse Google.
Ahhh...very nice. As far as Autumn is concerned though, I say: BRING IT ON!!!
Always a pleasure to stop in. :<)
lovely
Beautiful brian. The photo, whih looks as if the world has melted, and the words, that seem to show a similar melt and drift of emotions--just beautiful.
Very sensual - I love it.
It's like your eye scans and then comes back to rest in your desire and then scans again in an endless cycle--and I love it as much as I love punctuation--especially dashes and ellipses . . .
falling
waves and . . .
of you . . .
Very nice way to live.
very beautiful, brian, & immediate. individual images held up for me to see until i saw something of a whole picture... loved the last line (esp after the previous 'leaving' ones) - it had the feeling of a homecoming
The title is very eye-catching ~
Nice brushstrokes of the scenes, but I agree,the ending is lovely ~
I like. Even when you venture out to unfamiliar territory, you master the journey. Art for art's sake - that's a good reason to write.
A most beautiful capture... and sensuous!
I thought this was pretty. It has a calming sense as it's being read.
This is so lovely!
Had to smile at Tracy's comment...do you want to be considered "classic BM"? :) Lovely as always. I can see the condensation clearly.
It feels like you're trying to hold on to summer. But, you can't.
A sense of serenity, lovely snippets . :)
I'm intimidated by this one ... again ... of course ... but will not stop commenting until I am, B ... Fall is always either or in my part of the country ... 5 months of winter is coming ... Life is too short to embrace 5 months of whiteness, hmmm?
Art for art sake poetry on purpose? I don't think I could do it. As to imagist, yes, but you always are. Usually more so than this. It's one of the things I like about your poetry.
not sure why, but that image of the "sand grain on your big toe knuckle" and of a leaf impaling itself on a branch... like the tension between the two seasons...blessings, Brian :)
beautiful...in a daydreamy kind of way
I don't know how you do this each day. Poetry is hard, good poetry even more so. I have poetry written years ago I think is good but it took a long time to polish it. Your dedication has given you the experience to write in many different styles which is impressive.
you did again... round the bush you drove me but i kinda of get it...
Fall here never comes, so the beach is not a dream rather a nightmare...
I found myself reading this over and over. I love the way the images swirl round, and that last heady gasp of summer.
so romantic! A lovely escape built with fond memories n' magic!
Loved all that you shared~
I'm still struggling with the prompt ... you are so right, it's a lot harder than it seems at first glance!
Love, love what you did with it ...
I guess that the season change makes some mood changes too ;)
arty with images, has a great feel
my fav line :
"a leaf leaves---as leaves do"
This one is quite different, but it has a stream of consciousness feel. The last line is my favorite. The repetition is sweet :)
pass the acid
Aloha from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
=^..^=
> < } } ( ° >
Sun fades ....wind blows and I find myself wrapped up with a blanket, feeling like I just read a Bob Dylan poem.
You rock this one!
sounds like a lovely day!
Very imagist indeed Brian and yes, art for art's sake--I think though perhaps there is some message there too?
Deny the change as long as you can... it will come anyway.
Everything always does.
And so it goes... for you, and you and you.
very cool, love the visuals here, really a great job of painting the scene here.
So beautifully poetic!
Yes....... is that a UFO in the right hand side of the photo?
Maggie X
Nuts in May
I absolutely love this poem. Wow oh wow, Brian.
I agree! I, too, found it a lot harder than I expected!
Sorry, I'm having a real mare of a morning. I shall now go and lie down! I should have gone on to say that the clipped style of your poem was exactly right, had me spellbound from the first word.
I liked the images it evoked in my mind as I read.
Amazing that with words you entice your readers to bring into mind images they can relate to while at the same time attempting to visualize what it is in your own mind when you write.
I love Autumn...when I die I want that glorious Autumn branch to pierce my heart
"hard sidewalk, grass brittle, sky pinked, sun fade
wind blows, a leaf leaves---as leaves do,
impales itself on a branch..."
Hi! Brian...
The poetic words OF
"denying Autumn, i fall further Every day" do compliment your image and you did [very] well, as you, wrote art for art sake...Tks, for sharing...too!
deedee :)
beautiful, I just enjoyed this so much,
gorgeous picture
I am in autumn I guess. But I don't want winter to come.
Lots of vivid images in this, together they paint quite the picture. And jerk chicken, omg, just the thought makes my mouth water. Nice one, Brian!
Indeed, it is imagist. Nice trip to the beach
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