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| t-shirt, Old Navy |
'you have to support the tail
when unwrapping a boa,'
she says, serious,
'we all need that, you know,'
adds
'we had one, but...it thought
our son food &
(*silence*)
i measure distance between
knowledge &...
escort her son from visitation
to where foster parents wait
to take him home,
as she leaves
alone.
Over @ dVerse Poets today, Victoria is working with us on developing the characters in our poetry...this is based on an interesting conversation at the visitation trailer one day....any way, Victoria will open the doors at 3 pm.
And in 55 words for the g-man.
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104 comments:
Whoa. Great story. Well told. The silences say it all. k.
a heartbreaker. the form you have
created lends a authentic tone.
well-done, brian.
Aw . . . a Boa? I somehow doubt it. Glory be, Brian, you meet some mighty interesting characters. So sad, for all involved. Fine sketch in Few words and More Silences.
This is a sad story, Brian. Heart-breaking tale.
sometimes the distance between knowledge &... can just be an unbelievably wide gap... honestly, it breaks my heart..you just draw the rough outlines and that is already more than i can bear..
Make me sad:(
Sucks indeed
As you plant the seed
Surely a tale
One does not want to wail
And hmmm with the snake
I'd rather grab a rake
Phew! I just had an email from my sister and it had photographs of a Rattle snake (not a Boa) they found on a golf course somewhere. It was 17 feet long and they said one bite from it could kill at least 40 men. It was so big it could easily have eaten a two year old child. They said, if that has grown to that size, what about and where are its offspring... Yikes!
Some people are just too, too, way out 'there' eh!
My 55 tomorrow was inspired by your post about dissecting cats. lol
P.S. I meant the amount of venom as it bit you could kill 40 men, not just the bite...lol
Silence can sometimes "speak" louder than words. This is sad in that poor parenting choices have led to this result and the children suffer the consequences. I'm sure it's tough for both child and parents but my heart goes out to these innocent children who look to their parents as their security and their support.
Makes me sad there are so many deserving parents out there who struggle with infertility while this kind of stuff goes on.
Have you see The Odd Life of Timothy Green? You'd love it, but if you go, bring tissue!
I have seen my share of crazies. Too bad there is no licence or training to become parents.
Yikes, Brian! Distressing story well told.
Sad, but so real. I remember those days of being a foster parent.
Sigh. You see so much I can only imagine...not that I want to.
Great, yes, the silences do say a lot and the brevity of style seems to make the point all the more powerful.
Wow. Wow. Powerful stuff, Brian.
Beyond character, dipped in bathos, tinged with sadness and shining truth; a slice of life we try not to dwell on. Although I never have understood people who keep reptiles as pets; some psychological issue I think. Mine or theirs? Another fine effort, sir.
wow, awesome story man, I really liked it. You are a very good writer. Keep it up.
Yep, this one feels sad. The measured silence and leaving... alone.
Oh my. Wow.
that was interesting...the layers, or story behind that, well...yeah interesting :)
A sad tale, too often told.
"/
Oh sad stuff Brian. Sad for the boy and sad for the mother too.
Sometimes people don't realise that mental ill-health is not a choice...
Anna :o]
Made me feel like I was eavesdropping.
Wow - this sent a snaky shiver up and down my spine... Squeezy! :)
The parties involved ... just follow their feeling seperately for a while ... wow, B ... very powerful and heart breaking ... you left even more room for thought because of the silence ...
it implies waiting, hoping ... which hard on all parties.
Thanks for sharing, tho-
Sorry to say- nothing new when it comes to Foster care, children - Families et al...We and they, had our hearts broken repeatedly!
...and a child is torn between confusion, love and fear. What a story! And what a life :-(
An emotional tale.
An excellent story Brian, well done!
gives new meaning to...
"a boa constrictor, a boa constrictor, I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor."
talk about crazy!
I believe you. I have intimate knowledge of how totally screwed up some parents are. Several of my dearest are either fostering or raising their grandkids or have adopted kids whose parental rights have been terminated...the world is one f-up place.
The sad part is that in some cases, no matter how much love, therapy, attention, tutors, nannies, etc. you spend your life's savings on, they have holes in their hearts that nothing will mend. Breaks my heart, and is the first question I'll ask God. WHY????????????
Tina @ Life is Good
I used to work in a Juvie Prison.
This brings back great memories.:-(
Excellent piece of work Son.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Wow...people just never fail to blow me away with their... well, you know...
The silence said so much ~ I can just imagine the sadness of the family members ~
Happy day to you ~
"..as she leaves
alone."
May I add..."and lonely"?
Your words, thoughts have built-in extensions...always!
Check out a German friend's latest profile picture. PLEASE! NICE!
Hey, ya never know until ya ask??
PEACE!
Sad :(
...a boa... a snake? This was a REAL conversation? Good Lord...
Well, I'd sure like to know more...
oh my. :(
Spencer has a similar T with just the cassette from ON. :) He remembers cassettes fondly, too!
You painted quite a character sketch (for more than one person!) in so few lines...
This was sad, you have to be a strong person to deal with or to see it happening before you.
well...damn. so much told in few words. excellent.
I can only imagine what you have witnessed my friend.
Reminds me a bit of the story about the woman who took her boa to the vet because it kept slithering into bed with her, then stretching itself out stiff and straight right next to her. The vet said it was measuring her to see if it was big enough to eat her yet.
Wow, all that in 55 words or less, so much said not just in the words but, as well, in the interstitials, in what is left unsaid.
k. said it well right at the beginning, the silences say so much...
and a killer ending,
"foster parents wait
to take him home,
as she leaves
alone"
powerful write brian, thank you!
'you have to support the tail
when unwrapping a boa,'
Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing [a truth and the image]...in your poem.
[sun bright in our eyes, burns away the shadows...]
A very sad tale indeed that await so many unfortunate children.
deedee :(
It is so sad when that happened. Poor kid. Great one, Brian. I can feel her guilt too.
Have you a truly blessed weekend.
hugs
shakira
you have an awesome job... thanks for sharing a piece of you with so many
Incredibly sad. I wish you met happier, safer, and more joyous people, especially the children.
Thanks for taking note of the exchanges that you experience Brian. I see too many people employed in human service fields (police included) who are just on the clock--missing all the meaningful interactions that shape us all and our world.
Huh? A boa constrictor? Hmmmm....
I've been there, only I was the child when my mom left alone.. argh
I have known many who deserve to have children, but can't...
many people who have children, but don't deserve them. Both situations are heartbreaking.
Oh, my...the things that are considered retro nowadays...like me, I fear!
Oh dear...this is so sad.
Loved this!
Hugs
SueAnn
thats a seriously amazing character sketch brian....in such few words to have created this visual in my head of this person...well done !
Dear Brian, caching up with your writing after yet another week, it is impossible these days to blog more than once every 7 days for me.;)
You can describe the most substantial events with few words...
Hope you have been well.;)
xoxo
Heartbreaking, Brian. Feeling speechless and quite sad thinking of all you're hinting at.
You do have a way with words and in this case 55 - an inside look at intimate circumstances so that we can feel empathy...
Great job Brian. Knew your piece on characterization would be top-notch. Excellent read. thanks
I'm here after a very very long time. I see that your skill at brevity has gone farther than I last read you.
Boa sounds scary. Did she have a Boa as a pet? How come you meet people like this? Your life though is very interesting might also give you a lot of pain and sorrow for the many beings you meet.
God bless you and keep you.
Much love.
Joy always,
Susan
Happy birthday, Brian, and sorry for my delay.
Many happy returns of the day!
Deep poem, silence, solitude and sadness speaking.
:)
Sad.. but a wonderful story as always :)
Do I see it's your birthday Brian? If so many happy returns :)
The power of silence ... or perhaps of our ability to read between the lines ... is so well evoked by your lines here. Great stuff.
I shall think myself well blessed if I read anything else this good this morning! Fab'!
Oh my goodness, there was so much to detect in the 'silence'. This is so sad. I am appalled at the way adults let their children down.
When one is insane they do not know it when they're making the decisions it's only in the carrying out of the decisions that don't fit the world around you that insane is manifest.
Aw that's sad Brian. :(
Heavy stuff, Brian. Good story telling.
A boa constrictor has an element of mystic around it. But sadly here. Must be of sterner stuff to take it! Nice write Brian!
Hank
that was a tough one
beautifully woven!
very sad-
Sometimes silence speaks more than words...sad.
Ouch
The saddest!
wow such power in so few words
excellent writing
thank God for foster parents
I think
Spaces left to fill in blanks, to great effect.
Oh, my! Tears for her innocent son. What a impact full story in so few words.
Please tell me that's your imagination and not based on facts!
Excellent tale.
The silence can be so telling sometimes. Very well told, Brian!
That sure does play in your mind. I'll be thinking about her all day.
You've brought forth so much ache with so little words, Brian.
"i measure distance between
knowledge &..."
So much said in that preceding silence. You feel the heartbreak.
Leaving alone...sums it up, doesn't it...blind to the karma that will surely follow. Awesome to see the new routine hasn't stalled your pen...hope your faring well, Poet! May the force be with you ;)
Squeezed my heart to read this, and what isn't said speaks volumes. Tragic tale I wish was not so common.
very nicely told, Brian. characters are def. your forte.
wow, you just never know the stories people carry. well done!
Yikes. This made my heart hurt.
I like your use of ...
I can see the scene you've set so wll in just a few words... so much pain in it... awww gosh- hard life is.
Well written, but sad just the same.
Oops. Hard to see how parenting and boa-constricting go together, and thus enters foster parenting. I tell ya, the world we live in!
Gorgeous writing Brian - the strength of this poem lies in the unsaid - the erased - love it!
Great example of how what you don't say can have more impact than if you said. Shudder. I just hope the way I fill in those blanks is a mistake.
another reason we should always be nice to everyone...you just never know..
Very sad, and like what others have said, it's what's between the lines that leaves the impact.
Wow..so sad what choices are made when there is a child in the home. Great piece where the silence speaks as loudly as the verse.
This really killed me. I wish people would not keep boas as pets, because they are not meant to be in private zoos. They are jungle creatures and they deserve sanctuary!
Now, as for people... the go-between is so caught here, the escort from birth mom to foster parents. From familiar crap to... hopefully a better way to live? Amy
This so tugs at the heart.
The silences you create are as aloud as the words a moving and intense piece my friend
Whammo, does this ever pack a punch. Absolutely brilliant, Brian. May those foster parents be his saving grace...
Wow, it's amazing how much you manage to say ... and how well you say it .. in such a brief poem.
This is amazingly a complete story..
I love that I decide what happens next.
I know you'll miss aspects of this job...but family time will fill the void. :)
You are not short of comments!
Nice, seems longer than 55, it is all the wordsmithing.
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