Thursday, August 23, 2012

Meeting the Bar/55: sun bright in our eyes, burns away the shadows

t-shirt, Old Navy


'you have to support the tail
when unwrapping a boa,'

she says, serious,

'we all need that, you know,'
 adds

'we had one, but...it thought
our son food &
                         (*silence*)

i measure distance between
knowledge &...

escort her son from visitation
to where foster parents wait

to take him home,
as she leaves
                   alone.

Over @ dVerse Poets today, Victoria is working with us on developing the characters in our poetry...this is based on an interesting conversation at the visitation trailer one day....any way, Victoria will open the doors at 3 pm.

And in 55 words for the g-man.

104 comments:

manicddaily said...

Whoa. Great story. Well told. The silences say it all. k.

Paige + Shauna said...

a heartbreaker. the form you have
created lends a authentic tone.
well-done, brian.

Susan said...

Aw . . . a Boa? I somehow doubt it. Glory be, Brian, you meet some mighty interesting characters. So sad, for all involved. Fine sketch in Few words and More Silences.

Mary said...

This is a sad story, Brian. Heart-breaking tale.

Claudia said...

sometimes the distance between knowledge &... can just be an unbelievably wide gap... honestly, it breaks my heart..you just draw the rough outlines and that is already more than i can bear..

Gloria said...

Make me sad:(

Pat Hatt said...

Sucks indeed
As you plant the seed
Surely a tale
One does not want to wail
And hmmm with the snake
I'd rather grab a rake

Daydreamertoo said...

Phew! I just had an email from my sister and it had photographs of a Rattle snake (not a Boa) they found on a golf course somewhere. It was 17 feet long and they said one bite from it could kill at least 40 men. It was so big it could easily have eaten a two year old child. They said, if that has grown to that size, what about and where are its offspring... Yikes!
Some people are just too, too, way out 'there' eh!
My 55 tomorrow was inspired by your post about dissecting cats. lol

Daydreamertoo said...

P.S. I meant the amount of venom as it bit you could kill 40 men, not just the bite...lol

Tara Miller said...

Silence can sometimes "speak" louder than words. This is sad in that poor parenting choices have led to this result and the children suffer the consequences. I'm sure it's tough for both child and parents but my heart goes out to these innocent children who look to their parents as their security and their support.

Laurie Kolp said...

Makes me sad there are so many deserving parents out there who struggle with infertility while this kind of stuff goes on.

Have you see The Odd Life of Timothy Green? You'd love it, but if you go, bring tissue!

rosaria williams said...

I have seen my share of crazies. Too bad there is no licence or training to become parents.

Karen Glenn said...

Yikes, Brian! Distressing story well told.

sage said...

Sad, but so real. I remember those days of being a foster parent.

Victoria said...

Sigh. You see so much I can only imagine...not that I want to.

David F. Barker said...

Great, yes, the silences do say a lot and the brevity of style seems to make the point all the more powerful.

Susan Daniels said...

Wow. Wow. Powerful stuff, Brian.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Beyond character, dipped in bathos, tinged with sadness and shining truth; a slice of life we try not to dwell on. Although I never have understood people who keep reptiles as pets; some psychological issue I think. Mine or theirs? Another fine effort, sir.

Jack said...

wow, awesome story man, I really liked it. You are a very good writer. Keep it up.

happygirl said...

Yep, this one feels sad. The measured silence and leaving... alone.

Daniel said...

Oh my. Wow.

Monkey Man said...

that was interesting...the layers, or story behind that, well...yeah interesting :)

Sue said...

A sad tale, too often told.

"/

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Oh sad stuff Brian. Sad for the boy and sad for the mother too.

Sometimes people don't realise that mental ill-health is not a choice...

Anna :o]

Unknown Mami said...

Made me feel like I was eavesdropping.

hollyannegetspoetic said...

Wow - this sent a snaky shiver up and down my spine... Squeezy! :)

^.^ said...

The parties involved ... just follow their feeling seperately for a while ... wow, B ... very powerful and heart breaking ... you left even more room for thought because of the silence ...
it implies waiting, hoping ... which hard on all parties.

izzy said...

Thanks for sharing, tho-
Sorry to say- nothing new when it comes to Foster care, children - Families et al...We and they, had our hearts broken repeatedly!

Beachanny said...

...and a child is torn between confusion, love and fear. What a story! And what a life :-(
An emotional tale.

Neva Flores said...

An excellent story Brian, well done!

RMP said...

gives new meaning to...

"a boa constrictor, a boa constrictor, I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor."

talk about crazy!

Tina said...

I believe you. I have intimate knowledge of how totally screwed up some parents are. Several of my dearest are either fostering or raising their grandkids or have adopted kids whose parental rights have been terminated...the world is one f-up place.
The sad part is that in some cases, no matter how much love, therapy, attention, tutors, nannies, etc. you spend your life's savings on, they have holes in their hearts that nothing will mend. Breaks my heart, and is the first question I'll ask God. WHY????????????
Tina @ Life is Good

G-Man said...

I used to work in a Juvie Prison.
This brings back great memories.:-(
Excellent piece of work Son.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Bodhirose said...

Wow...people just never fail to blow me away with their... well, you know...

Heaven said...

The silence said so much ~ I can just imagine the sadness of the family members ~

Happy day to you ~

Steve E said...

"..as she leaves
alone."

May I add..."and lonely"?

Your words, thoughts have built-in extensions...always!

Check out a German friend's latest profile picture. PLEASE! NICE!
Hey, ya never know until ya ask??
PEACE!

ayala said...

Sad :(

Margaret said...

...a boa... a snake? This was a REAL conversation? Good Lord...

Vicki Lane said...

Well, I'd sure like to know more...

Betsy Brock said...

oh my. :(

Spencer has a similar T with just the cassette from ON. :) He remembers cassettes fondly, too!

PMWanken - When Words Escape said...

You painted quite a character sketch (for more than one person!) in so few lines...

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

This was sad, you have to be a strong person to deal with or to see it happening before you.

awakenedwords said...

well...damn. so much told in few words. excellent.
I can only imagine what you have witnessed my friend.

Alice Audrey said...

Reminds me a bit of the story about the woman who took her boa to the vet because it kept slithering into bed with her, then stretching itself out stiff and straight right next to her. The vet said it was measuring her to see if it was big enough to eat her yet.

Semaphore said...

Wow, all that in 55 words or less, so much said not just in the words but, as well, in the interstitials, in what is left unsaid.

adan said...

k. said it well right at the beginning, the silences say so much...

and a killer ending,

"foster parents wait

to take him home,
as she leaves
alone"

powerful write brian, thank you!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

'you have to support the tail
when unwrapping a boa,'

Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing [a truth and the image]...in your poem.
[sun bright in our eyes, burns away the shadows...]
A very sad tale indeed that await so many unfortunate children.
deedee :(

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

It is so sad when that happened. Poor kid. Great one, Brian. I can feel her guilt too.
Have you a truly blessed weekend.
hugs
shakira

Wolfsrosebud said...

you have an awesome job... thanks for sharing a piece of you with so many

Cheryl said...

Incredibly sad. I wish you met happier, safer, and more joyous people, especially the children.

Slamdunk said...

Thanks for taking note of the exchanges that you experience Brian. I see too many people employed in human service fields (police included) who are just on the clock--missing all the meaningful interactions that shape us all and our world.

DJan said...

Huh? A boa constrictor? Hmmmm....

She Writes said...

I've been there, only I was the child when my mom left alone.. argh

Dana Dampier said...

I have known many who deserve to have children, but can't...
many people who have children, but don't deserve them. Both situations are heartbreaking.

lifeisaroadtrip said...

Oh, my...the things that are considered retro nowadays...like me, I fear!

SueAnn Lommler said...

Oh dear...this is so sad.
Loved this!
Hugs
SueAnn

sonny said...

thats a seriously amazing character sketch brian....in such few words to have created this visual in my head of this person...well done !

Zuzana said...

Dear Brian, caching up with your writing after yet another week, it is impossible these days to blog more than once every 7 days for me.;)
You can describe the most substantial events with few words...
Hope you have been well.;)
xoxo

Anyes said...

Heartbreaking, Brian. Feeling speechless and quite sad thinking of all you're hinting at.

kkkkaty said...

You do have a way with words and in this case 55 - an inside look at intimate circumstances so that we can feel empathy...

Fred Rutherford said...

Great job Brian. Knew your piece on characterization would be top-notch. Excellent read. thanks

Susan Deborah said...

I'm here after a very very long time. I see that your skill at brevity has gone farther than I last read you.

Boa sounds scary. Did she have a Boa as a pet? How come you meet people like this? Your life though is very interesting might also give you a lot of pain and sorrow for the many beings you meet.

God bless you and keep you.

Much love.

Joy always,
Susan

Dulcina said...

Happy birthday, Brian, and sorry for my delay.
Many happy returns of the day!
Deep poem, silence, solitude and sadness speaking.
:)

Madhulika said...

Sad.. but a wonderful story as always :)

Polly said...

Do I see it's your birthday Brian? If so many happy returns :)

The power of silence ... or perhaps of our ability to read between the lines ... is so well evoked by your lines here. Great stuff.

Dave King said...

I shall think myself well blessed if I read anything else this good this morning! Fab'!

Valerie said...

Oh my goodness, there was so much to detect in the 'silence'. This is so sad. I am appalled at the way adults let their children down.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

When one is insane they do not know it when they're making the decisions it's only in the carrying out of the decisions that don't fit the world around you that insane is manifest.

Akelamalu said...

Aw that's sad Brian. :(

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Heavy stuff, Brian. Good story telling.

kaykuala said...

A boa constrictor has an element of mystic around it. But sadly here. Must be of sterner stuff to take it! Nice write Brian!

Hank

magiceye said...

that was a tough one
beautifully woven!

Heather said...

very sad-

JANU said...

Sometimes silence speaks more than words...sad.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Ouch

annell said...

The saddest!

Suz said...

wow such power in so few words
excellent writing
thank God for foster parents
I think

Ravenblack said...

Spaces left to fill in blanks, to great effect.

Grandmother said...

Oh, my! Tears for her innocent son. What a impact full story in so few words.

MorningAJ said...

Please tell me that's your imagination and not based on facts!
Excellent tale.

AmyLK said...

The silence can be so telling sometimes. Very well told, Brian!

Nessa said...

That sure does play in your mind. I'll be thinking about her all day.

Raivenne said...

You've brought forth so much ache with so little words, Brian.

"i measure distance between
knowledge &..."

So much said in that preceding silence. You feel the heartbreak.

Natasha Head said...

Leaving alone...sums it up, doesn't it...blind to the karma that will surely follow. Awesome to see the new routine hasn't stalled your pen...hope your faring well, Poet! May the force be with you ;)

Poet Laundry said...

Squeezed my heart to read this, and what isn't said speaks volumes. Tragic tale I wish was not so common.

jane hewey said...

very nicely told, Brian. characters are def. your forte.

lime said...

wow, you just never know the stories people carry. well done!

lookingforroots said...

Yikes. This made my heart hurt.

I like your use of ...

Dulce said...

I can see the scene you've set so wll in just a few words... so much pain in it... awww gosh- hard life is.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Well written, but sad just the same.

Fragrant Liar said...

Oops. Hard to see how parenting and boa-constricting go together, and thus enters foster parenting. I tell ya, the world we live in!

marousia said...

Gorgeous writing Brian - the strength of this poem lies in the unsaid - the erased - love it!

Nara Malone said...

Great example of how what you don't say can have more impact than if you said. Shudder. I just hope the way I fill in those blanks is a mistake.

Annmarie Pipa said...

another reason we should always be nice to everyone...you just never know..

pandamoniumcat said...

Very sad, and like what others have said, it's what's between the lines that leaves the impact.

Susie Clevenger said...

Wow..so sad what choices are made when there is a child in the home. Great piece where the silence speaks as loudly as the verse.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

This really killed me. I wish people would not keep boas as pets, because they are not meant to be in private zoos. They are jungle creatures and they deserve sanctuary!

Now, as for people... the go-between is so caught here, the escort from birth mom to foster parents. From familiar crap to... hopefully a better way to live? Amy

Hilary said...

This so tugs at the heart.

Chris Lawrence said...

The silences you create are as aloud as the words a moving and intense piece my friend

Lydia said...

Whammo, does this ever pack a punch. Absolutely brilliant, Brian. May those foster parents be his saving grace...

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wow, it's amazing how much you manage to say ... and how well you say it .. in such a brief poem.

The Empress said...

This is amazingly a complete story..

I love that I decide what happens next.

Magpie said...

I know you'll miss aspects of this job...but family time will fill the void. :)

d. moll, l.ac. said...

You are not short of comments!
Nice, seems longer than 55, it is all the wordsmithing.