Thursday, August 9, 2012

From atop the hill, they all look like beetles



Cole, Branson, MO

'butt down, head up
3-point stance'

'on the whistle,
run'

'the second,
stop'

'butt down, head up
3-point stance'

'got it?'

'who are WE?'

'Broncos'

'who ARE we?'

'Broncos'

'break it down'

'HUWAH'

'again'

'HUWAH'

(tweet)

(tweet)

a golden horizon stretches
shadows downfield, fading

'#12, where's your mouthpiece?'

'everyone back,
start over'

(tweet)

Over at dVerse today, Claudia is running Meeting the Bar and has us writing Impressionist poetry-you can google Impressionist paintings if you want to get the idea. The other day at my son's football practice, I climbed a hill and watched from a distance...the only sounds were the coach yelling and the grunts of the 7 & 8 year olds as day became night.

Also, said in 55 words, for g-man.

104 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

First
Mary and Hank are worst!

annell said...

I think that is practice. Do it, do it again...

Pat Hatt said...

Grunting and punting
The coach doesn't sound like Good Will Hunting
Yelling with the up and down
As you capture the hill crown
King of the hill
As you watch like Buffalo Bill

sheila said...

nice. I may try this prompt - very different and a great idea. You seem to have hit all of the characteristics of impressionisms:

Relatively small, thin, yet visible brush strokes
Open composition
Emphasis on accurate depiction of light in its changing qualities (often accentuating the effects of the passage of time)
Common, ordinary subject matter
Inclusion of movement as a crucial element of human perception and experience
Unusual visual angles
(per Wikipedia...smiles)

Monkey Man said...

ha, reminds me of my assistant coach days,....you are the word master my friend.

Teri M said...

Super cute picture! :-)

happygirl said...

7 & 8 year olds grunting and running and hitting and playing and learning to be a team. This is a good thing. I liked the way this looks from a distance. :)

MorningAJ said...

I only found out about 'huwah' this week. Odd that you should use my new word!

Great poem. As usual!

Alice Audrey said...

Oh. Football. I thought maybe so, but I've avoided it most of my life so I thought it might be a pool thing, too.

Sue said...

I think your impressionism worked, because you definitely took me back there...

=)

manicddaily said...

Lots of fun here - terrifically vivid for all its distillation. Huah! I don't think I spelled that right. Lovely. k.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

the work is never done...do it again do it again!


Cole is so cute!

Nancy said...

Head down, butt up has always meant hard work to me - this post is a reminder that practice makes perfect.

Myrna R. said...

I can see them. So cute.

It's as if you stepped out of time, to watch your children growing.

Mary said...

Perhaps eventually your son will play for the Green Bay Packers, Brian. Couldn't resist... (Smiles) 7 and 8 year olds are such enthusiastic players. Love to watch that age group.

rosaria williams said...

Yes, just a few strokes, eh sounds, and we get the jest. Lovely.

She Writes said...

:)

Can coaches say "butt"? haha

Anonymous said...

Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing the picture Of your son Cole...What a good-looking young man...too!
I must say that you have captured the sounds [in your poetry] Of what 7 and 8 years olds experience
at foot-ball practice.

deedee :)

Goofball said...

like the HUWAH most.

ladyfi said...

You captured the spirit of practice!

Susan Daniels said...

Love this--the practicing players as beetles, the sounds. You so caught this!

Daydreamertoo said...

LOL Would seem pretty funny to hear it and not see it. I bet they do look like beetles in the fading light and distance too.
A fun read :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Love this, Brian... hard to believe it's already that time of year, huh?

hedgewitch said...

It's like some primitive ritual--painted faces, odd postures, magical incantations. Reminds me of some of Rousseau's work, if we're going Impressionist. Loved it, bri.

LadyCat said...

Cute pic...looks like he's having a great time.
A long as the kids are enjoyong their sports, that's what counts.
Our school mascot was the "bronchos", too. But yes, spelled that way. They spelled it wrong when they first announced it and kept it that way : )

Claudia said...

smiles...i like...just wondering how monet had painted a football game...you do well and make me see it even though i never saw a single football game in my life..but psssshhhh... don't tell anyone...smiles

Travel & Dive Girl said...

I hated the repetive nature of practices.

Mama Zen said...

Makes me ready for some football!

Jerry said...

Let me guess...two-a-day practice...ugh. If I tried now I would curl up on the grass and cry like a baby!

Dana Dampier said...

This is a fun poem! You caught the essence of football practice well.

Tara Miller said...

I felt like I was there.... ;) This is a fun read and sounds like a fun prompt! The sounds of football make me excited for the fall season.

Wolfsrosebud said...

... and that's the way it is, loved the ending lines

lifeisaroadtrip said...

Oh, my, thanks for reminding me that it is that time again. My husband will be happy. Me? meh.

lifeisaroadtrip said...

By the way have you written something about auto correct? If you did then I must have missed it or forgotten. I was just thinking the other day I wished I could write something about it besides *&%$#(*!

Deb Powers said...

Loved the title, Brian. And you captured the whole nature of practice, with just the right brush strokes.

Lisa Golden said...

I can HEAR this.

Luke Prater said...

Interesting to see a longish poem almost entirely consisting of short speech. Nicely done

hollyannegetspoetic said...

Very cute - I know nothing about football, but I totally got what was happening from your words. Great fun!

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Audio sports poetry!

Susan said...

It's like a haiku with sound:

"a golden horizon stretches
shadows downfield, fading"

and I hear it, I hear it! I could have my eyes closed and know what it is, but I would miss the beetles crawling in a golden glow. Fun take on impressionism!

Louise said...

Fun poem, captured in the moment..nice to stand back a bit & watch the sun set :)

Vicki Lane said...

I see it all...

kaykuala said...

Very realistic! i could almost feel I was there running and jumping with them and the coach looking my way. Nice write Brian!

Hank

farmlady said...

Love it! You truly captured the moment.

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Ah, the memories in this one, Brian; as a player, coach and dad. Been there and done that. Love the way you painted it!

Anonymous said...

Good going...at practice, especially the grunts of air! gardenlilie.com

Victoria said...

Love how you captured this, Brian...nice, quick brush strokes. And cute photo of Cole.

Simone said...

You found the perfect spot to capture the sights and the sounds of memories. What is even more of a treasure is that your writing is your legacy to your kids that you were there.

Grace said...

Nice capture Brian ~ I like the sounds of this ~

Don't think I can write tonight...too tired from work but will catch up over the weekend ~ Smiles ~

Mark Kerstetter said...

I hear this being chanted, hands clapping, whistles blowing. And then doing it again. Great.

Ginny Brannan said...

Amazing capture of such a moment, Brian. Sounds like the coach is quite the professional "driller." Thought you were talking about the NFL in this, until I read your note at the bottom!!

Daniel said...

That brings back some memories for me as a youth too.

Mystic_Mom said...

Very cool Brian, I remember watching my brother practice while I waited up on the hill. This brought back memories.

Teresa said...

I love this! There's nothing like little kids playing football.

Margaret said...

Ha. Girls say "no pain, not gain" when at the beauty parlor. I guess boys say that when playing football!

adan said...

i still can't stop smiling and chuckling and now my wife wants to know what the heck ;-)

your postscript really helped wrap it right ;-)

and,

"#12, where's your mouthpiece?" -

priceless, can see this ten years from now, "#12, where's your hat soldier" or "#12, where'd you leave that file!" while hoping to hear, "# 12, you wanna come in for a bit..."

those boys down there, those beetles, gonna remember all those grunts and huffs as their good ole kid days ;-) and, like i do now with my dad, that you were there watching 'em, yeah, priceless...

sage said...

Oh yes, you're bringing back bad memories of football practice in the Southeast, hot and humid and go, go, go... I quit in my second season.

pandamoniumcat said...

Very clever... we live in Queensland...Bronco territory! Though within my house, it's Eels territory... I myself am neutral...best way to be during footy season. It was a terrific write, you captured the chant well!!!

G-Man said...

I hated practicing in August.
Thats when I went out and got a job!
Loved your Grid Iron 55 Son
Thanks for playing, and NEVER say your sorry to me for doing "Dad Stuff".
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Beachanny said...

Very minimal and I was there - watching those kids games and knowing it would be over in a blink..and it was. Well done.

Magpie said...

See! You do such a great job every time...concise - sharp - spot on...I love your 55s.

I have a challenge. Write something that will make me laugh. I need a good laugh.

irene said...

Love your approach, Brian. Hey I gotta learn to write like that.

bodhirose said...

Oh, I loved your "impression" of the practice you were watching, Brian..I could hear it myself. Cute, happy photo of your son too..very sweet.

cloudia charters said...

Dreaming of Fall - past and to come?



Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
<(-'.'-)>

> < } } ( ° >

> < } } (°>

KB said...

For a minute there, I thought you were writing about the Olympics. Nice one.

JANU said...

Simple words yet, can visualize the whole picture here...nice.

Betsy Brock said...

aw...that's a really cute photo of him. Branson is just memories now! Football practices have started here, too....can't believe summer is almost over!

any news? still praying....

jane hewey said...

you are so good at this! love the way you grab what life has to offer and shell it out with words. brilliant write. happy almost-fall and football.

flipside records said...

:)

Polly said...

heh-heh, must be fun to be one of your kids ~ I like what you've done with this prompt Brian ~ nice slice of life :)

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

I like a shape of your words mad in this work. well done and I hope all is well.

Fred Rutherford said...

nice. Definitely had no idea a football themed piece would appear tonight. Really nice spin on the impressionist idea. Fun to read. and the bit about the moutchpiece, priceless.

Dick said...

Very effective, Brian. Almost a found poem, although the craft is in the organisation of language and the strong phonic and aural sense of the piece.

Zuzana said...

Dear Brian, sorry for my long absence, I guess life demanded my attention, in a good way.;)
Cole is cute and looks as if he is enjoying himself.:) Hope you have been well, how is the job hunt going?
Have a great weekend,
xoxo

me_duress said...

This brilliantly covers all aspects. Simple and quick, about the moment.

myheartslovesongs.com said...

brilliant as always, Brian! your eye for details really works with this style!

vivinfrance said...

Vivid and vibrant - full of life, my ideal of a great impressionist painting/poem.

tony said...

Like An Incantation:Like A Prayer.

Valerie said...

Too long ago to remember...smiles. Love Cole's picture, Brian. Have a great weekend.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

:) feel the excitement

Ravenblack said...

Very interesting play here, and it works, just mainly describing what you hear. :)

izzy said...

This tweet thing I just don't get- BUT I think you cast an impression!
and did it in 55- thanks-

Gloria said...

Nice picture; nice poem and nice you lol
any news? I pray dear have a nice weekend!

kkkkaty said...

It first I thought a dune buggy, then a scooter, then I wasn't sure..all to good effect!!

Jannie Funster said...

WOW, that was ONLY 55 words, you said a lot!!

What a great shot. Always wanted to see Branson, maybe one day I shall.

Glad to hear of the sports, I think it's one of the best things kids can get into, because there's lots of "naughty" things for kids to get into, as you well know.

HAPPY WEEKEND!! xo

SueAnn Lommler said...

What fun...tweet....everyone applaud!!
Hugging you
SUeAnn

Annmarie Pipa said...

drill drill drill!!
have fun!

sonny said...

oh its good to read you again !

this is a new one for me impressionist poetry "...hmm..need to stop over at claudia's ...i'd love to try this out !

is that ur son ? cute !

lookingforroots said...

(tweet!)

Love it.

Akelamalu said...

Practice makes perfect! :)

drybottomgirl said...

Love your new pic! You face looks as sweet as your writing is! Hope all is well with you and yours, and football signals the start of fall..... :-)

hope said...

Makes me glad I'm a girl who only babysat for a football coach so he could go out and make other people's children run. ;)

Wonderful imagery, as always.

♥ Braja said...

oh dear, that all sounds so very....American...!

RMP said...

is it sad that I did not realize it was football? at least know I know what a 3-point stance is. I'm guessing the (tweet) was the whistle...I would have like to have heard some of the grunting you mentioned.

Really cute piece.

zongrik said...

i knew it was football as soon as you said three point stance.

i like the butt up part best

what's up with Good Will Hunting?

foam

darsden said...

Love it :-) fav time of year starting Football .. smell it

uneven steven said...

I remember those days. you capture it well - like the details of the landscape and asking about the mouthguard

ds said...

Oh my, football season already?! Hope it is not too hot for the youngsters. You've caught it perfectly, although what I'm remembering are the cheerleaders in HS aping the football team's pre-game warmup (I was in the band; we had a lot of fun with that one)...
Go (Virginia) Broncos!

missing moments said...

Catching up from all my travels ... always a pleasure to come here. Sending positive energy your way on your job search. It'll happen!

Hilary said...

All from a hilltop, eh? :) My kids did very few sports but I can recall some of the coaches with similar enthusiasm.

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

sounds like Olympics to me!!!
seriously though, I love the rhythm in your poem. Beautifully done as always.
Mine is here
Have you a Rocking Weekend!
hugs
shakira

^.^ said...

I love every word of this read, B ... plus the titel!!! :) Greetings and kisses for your own 2 little beetles as well :)

ayala said...

Cole is so cute :)

william said...

interesting concept here mate, but nevertheless one of your best...