Saturday, July 21, 2012

Poetics: Make love & mean it

@ the family cemetary

There is a method or process to making love
& meaning it

doesn't just happen, least not without intention
& all too often we settle for the small spark
boys learn in the back seat at first grace of the finger tip 
& we know enough, peaking on the wake of puberty
descending in ever deflating atrophy - once we've
won them

it's no wonder partners lose interest, well over
the going rate of fifty percent - or just
find fantasy for a sense of fulfillment

letting her sleep in,
a warm womb of blankets
i slip out, slow

cook the bacon, sizzle-
pop, hot grease bites
along the inner arm

salt, enough to accentuate & pep-
per, to spice---don't pat
the pancakes, so they keep their fluffiness

& when the kids awake, feed them,
play a game, watch
Wile E Coyote miss RoadRunner
for the thousandth time

(and don't take it personally)

have them dressed, dishes washed
& laundry nearly folded when finally
her eyes crack the veil

then, climb back in beside,
not in front or behind her & whisper---
'good morning beautiful,

you just missed gramma--she's got the kids,
i thought we'd go shopping'
 
& on the table eggs congeal, breakfast spoils,
but i know it was noticed, even if uneaten

TRY THIS, you will fail, especially
if all you do is duplicate mine because it's based
on her dreams & to meet them, step one...

is to know them.

Happy Saturday everyone! I am in Missouri on vacation this week, but could not miss out on the finale of anniversary week @ dVerse Poets. Today for Poetics, Claudia will unveil our group reading of The Song of the Bell...as well as prompt us to write based on a process...well she'll explain it better when it opens at 3 pm.

96 comments:

Mary said...

one

DJan said...

Awwww. I really felt this one, Brian. You're the best kind of partner.

Mary said...

Yes, indeed, meeting someone's dreams is no small thing; and to have someone love you who meets your dreams is HUGE! Enjoy your vacation.

Susan said...

"then, climb back in beside,
not in front or behind her & whisper---
'good morning beautiful,"

You just sat down and wrote this? they ask, and the answer is--as this poem so aptly points out--sort of, but no--this one took a lifetime. Or, this one I am still writing each day and hope I never finish. Step one: learning her/him daily . . .

CiCi said...

What a dear gesture. Making love in many ways.

Enjoy the vacation!

ds said...

Zowie! I'm here early...yes, it begins in the small gestures, it begins in the getting to know, it stays with the remembering which are important...just gorgeous.
Happy happy vacation!

Grace said...

I remember a poem you wrote before about slow cooking; it actually lead me to write about cooking which I will post in OLN.

I like the cooking and caring for the children (that cartoon never grows old). They learn first hand the real meaning of love and family ~

Enjoy your vacation ~ And I appreciated the group reading of everyone ~ Happy day ~

mrs mediocrity said...

Ha, yes, that is truth. Beautifully said, and felt.

Laurie Kolp said...

I agree that making love last is so much more than making love...

Enjoy your vacation with your beautiful family, Brian.

Slamdunk said...

I like your recipe Brian. It certainly does take an investment of time and creativity.

Janice said...

Step one...yes, Brian...you've got it so right.

Chantel said...

You've captured the way to a woman's heart....bacon opens oh, so many doors. ;)

manicddaily said...

You and your wife both sound extremely lucky.

Poem has that early pre-dawn feel to it, in best of ways. k.

Valerie said...

Brian, you are THE most romantic poet. Have a wonderful vacation with your family.

Pat said...

Aw. Too bad you're already married. I'd of snapped you up in a New York Minute. Of course, then I'd be a cougar. And there is the part that I'm married. Still.

SueAnn Lommler said...

Yes you have found the right ingredients for sure!!
Good for you
Hugs
SueAnn

Daniel said...

Sweet piece here today. If only I had known then. Oh well.

Dana Dampier said...

I think every woman who graces your page today is going to fall in love with your words!
... and will hope her boyfriend/husband reads this also!

Have a awesome vacay with your family.

Mrsupole said...

Romance is in the air at your house, a lot. Love does need to be nurtured, fed, and taken for a test drive as much as possible to make sure all the parts are oiled and greased for whatever may happen to come up.

I think it falls into the category of use it or lose it kinda thing. Nice to see you do not want to lose it. And very nice of Gramma to give you a set of keys. Gramma's rock!!!

Hope all of you have a safe and wonderful vacation.

God bless.

Wander said...

Brian, you are a lucky man...and from the tone of your writing you deserve it, smiles man, for you and your fam...doing ok on my end, I guess.just injured.

Keep writing like this man, feels good!

Gloria said...

Have a nice vacances and make love lol!

Charity said...

Beautiful words & acts, but especially the reminder... Your making HER dreams come true!!

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh yesssss.... making love isn't just the sex act at all. It's all about before and after too. It's all in the romance and as you say, making some of their dreams come true no matter how small they are.
How truly lovely this is Brian. How romantic and so what love is all about. The whole thing made me smile.
Enjoy your vacation.

kaykuala said...

Meeting a dear one's bidding and both being happy about is great. This is interesting. Someone's dream in your hands is a big responsibility. Enjoy your vacation, Brian!

Hank

Claudia said...

love is much about listening, creativity and --ah--now comes the bad word-- sacrifice---ugh..but it surely repays if we value our partner and with little things like this let them know that our love is more than just words (esp. important for us poets maybe)..smiles

Akelamalu said...

You really know how to make your lady happy! :)

Eva Gallant said...

What a good man you are!

Jennifer Dougan said...

"Step one is to know them!" -- nice! Good job. :)

Hi Brian,

From my site, I'm sorry about your friend moving away. That changes things and is hard; and normal to grieve. I understand.

Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

To meet them... is to know them.

Relationship is much different from lust isn't it :)

turtlememoir said...

beautiful, and whatever your process is you play it well... i love the final lines and step one especially - it really is that simple (but people will go on buying their mags, listening to what some self-proclaimed love guru proclaims is bound to work)

RMP said...

"TRY THIS, and you will fail," maybe not completely (I think for a good number of women this would work), but in the long run...

you must truely know them!

Enjoy your vacation! And in case I haven't said it yet (never really been good at words when they're not just being thrown out into the ether for no one or anyone), thank for all your time and effort at dVerse and for the feedback and encouragement you provide. oh, and especially for the 'smiles'!

flipside records said...

"& all too often we settle for the small spark
boys learn in the back seat at first grace of the finger tip" ... What a fantastic, creative way to say it without saying it.

Your innuendo in this section is so good:

"cook the bacon, sizzle-
pop, hot grease bites
along the inner arm

salt, enough to accentuate & pep-
per, to spice---don't pat
the pancakes, so they keep their fluffiness"

You cracked me up with "don't pat the pancakes" ... :)

"it's based
on her dreams & to meet them, step one...
is to know them"

You rock and a writer and a husband. This is an amazing poem ... rules to live by indeed.

My dreams always involve sushi and coffee. :)

flipside records said...

Susan makes a great point that it takes a lifetime of studying. People change, and so do their dreams.

flipside records said...

When I read Pat's comment about snapping you up, I hadn't looked at the picture yet and totally thought it was Pat Hatt! You two would make a lovely couple. ;)

ecogrrl.net said...

Step one so often gets missed. Thank you.

Monkey Man said...

Spot on brotha :)

enjoy the vacation

happygirl said...

Yeah, this works for me. I metaphorically smoking a cigarette now. :)

Shell said...

Ohhhh...:))
I simply loved this.

FrankandMary said...

And I am sure there are times you dazzle her with your manly prowess, or offer her silence, comfortable & affectionate. A walk in the inky summer air...

David F. Barker said...

Perhaps I should try this in the morning... at least I know who to blame! ;) Great stuff Brian.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"There is a method or process to making love & meaning it..."

Hi! Brian...
I have to echo the words Of some Of the previous commenter too...
...How lucky you, are... [how lucky they are too!...your wife and sons]...to know the "secret"
to Make love & mean it..."

Tks, for sharing the image too!
deedee :-D

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Brian...
I hope that you have a nice vacation and a great week-end too!

Louise said...

This was lovely...it takes work & understanding to make a marriage, as well as love...I loved the intimacy in this...& I hope you have a fab vacation! :)

Rachel Hoyt said...

Awwww, I hope a few men learn from this. :)

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

This is so great- so personal...love everything from the hot oil biting your arm, to the breakfast polling and the...well... you know...the sentiment! He he..... There is so much in this poem that is understated- and you create feelings rather than 'just explain it' if that makes sense- great poem my friend

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Hi Brian, well as I said on Twitter, I thought this was just beautifully done and I loved how you shaped the poem to bring it to a close with a sense of a secret intimacy that only two trusting and secure lovers could know and share together.

Mama Zen said...

Now, THIS is sexy!

Beachanny said...

The better you know someone, usually, the more you love them. It requires trust, honor and an open heart - all reflected in all of your poetry.

Myrna R. said...

Yes, lovely. I agree all we do is best when done consciously, intentionally. And love, well what a canvas for creativity.

ayala said...

So true :) enjoy your vacation. I hope you and your family have a great time. :)

otin said...

My reaction would have been, "Would you please get up and give me a hand with the kids!" hahaha

Anders Woje Ellingsen said...

Love is beautiful. (。◕‿◕。)

Li said...

Beautiful! Such small things, and yet they add up to a lifetime of happiness. Much better than a pricey "oh my god I've got to get him/her something for the current holiday" gift.

Pat Hatt said...

Doing for her
Surely won't ruffle any fur
And yeah each has to know
What makes the other glow
As a copy cat
Is no better than a dirty rat
Enjoy the vacation too
Even if you are still around to view

bodhirose said...

Yes, it goes without saying that you must know the person to whom you wish to make love to...and that means not just the physical act but feeding the kids, folding the laundry, etc...actually thinking and caring about the benefit for the other. Ahh...beautiful, Brian!

Ravenblack said...

Very nice. :) Love the conclusion, sure one can follow the steps but it won't work unless you know what the person you love likes or wants and what pleases them. The first and most important thing put in the final lines leaves a lasting impression. Beautiful.

Polly said...

Hah! I felt that splat of bacon fat on my arm ... simple truths are the best - super

Tara Miller said...

You're so good to me....it's the small things that are huge in a woman's eyes and great foreplay as well ;) You had me at folded the laundry, dressed and fed the kids and picked up the house!! Bacon and coffee can wait!

Help! Mama Remote... said...

Sleeping in, breakfast, kids gone and shopping!!!!winning!

JANU said...

Making love in so many little thoughtful ways...why am I not surprised by your writing? Hats off!

Poet Laundry said...

You knocked it out of the park with this one Brian. I'm married to a man who thinks and does like this too. Good stuff.

Matt Spence said...

Groovy poem brother, and you are right on about dreams and how to make love mean something. Peace.

Fred Rutherford said...

Very nicely done. Love the ending and a great metaphor. Hope you have a nice time away, never been there, but heard good things about it.

lucychili said...

authentic.

ladyfi said...

Great piece of writing!

Dave King said...

Fabulous write - and damned good, common sense advice to boot!

Lorraine said...

Grande Finale indeed, you wonderful husband you, enjoy your holidays, and much fun for the 4 or is 5 of you lol

Grandmother said...

This is such the perfect description of love learned over the years. The music to my ears? "good morning beautiful" and "i thought we'd go shopping". Now that's real love!

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Great write, Brian, and I can attest to its success rate. And you are correct; there is no set formula; it's a case-to-case situation.

Wolfsrosebud said...

a sensitive poet you are... and wise

izzy said...

Nice ! glad you pulled it off-

the walking man said...

Sounds like a lot of planning for one who has no dream and another that sleeps while they dream. Seduction though is a necessary art practiced among the young, us old folks just laugh as we just get naked.

electricity comparison nsw said...

Aw. This is so sweet. It takes a lot of gamble and compromise to make a marriage work. Hope someone would do this for me.

jane hewey said...

yes. there are many small ways to make love last and last and last. we are such complex creatures, we humans. and fortunately, sometimes quite simple too. it really is the small touches that hold a lengthy marriage together. and you write it so easily here.

Charles Miller said...

Nice one Brian. I especially enjoyed the words on thinking in one's own right, making it spontaneously yours, personal; cause in romance, imitation is not the greatest compliment. As it is, one must remain aware of our beloved's needs, as mundane and sometimes unromantic as that might be. That 50 percent number you quote is significant, since a large percentage of that involves disagreements over household chores.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Love is knowing its there...be it the tea cold and the toast burnt

william said...

thats how the path of true love runs :) excellent..

lifeisaroadtrip said...

And what did the pastor say about this one, Brian? :-)

Apryl Gonzales Sweet said...

This is simply beautiful! I like, a warm womb of blankets, very well done, and yes... with the poetry as well ;)

chanibrenner said...

awesome poem brian :)

chanibrenner said...

awesome job brian

Glenn Buttkus said...

Def sent me off in several directions, first one
being that you are too much of the "perfect"
loving husband, too sensitive, too accommodating,
and then the last lines made me think you were
putting us on, describing the perfect dream
husband that cannot exist in reality, and then
I circled back, read your wife's comment, and
realized that you had a husband's apex moment,
and one wonders how many of those you pull off
in a month, and just good on you, sir; fine piece.

rallentanda said...

Oh if only,if only!

Zuzana said...

Beautiful! You are my kind of romantic and you know what the words making love means. Reality and romance intertwined, at all times.;)
Enjoy your vacation dear Brian.;))
xoxo

Kathe W. said...

Brian- you know your partner which means you truly love your partner-wow!

thejuliebook said...

Another great piece, Brian. I loved the blend of down-to-earth and fantasy--so often we think we have to choose one or the other. And "advice" ending is fabulous--as though anyone could ever hope to imitate your expression of love. That's one lucky lady and family you have. :) Thanks for your feedback on mine as well!

The Empress said...

Crying.

From the beauty.

"First step: know them."

LOVELY.

Tigerbrite said...

Yes, that's what it's all about. Beautiful.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

What a delightful poem ... and message. :)

Magpie said...

We each need to find that special formula that works in our relationships. I like the way you think though. :)

Lydia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lydia said...

[That deletion above was me making a silly typo.]

I loved Susan's early comment. It described what I was thinking about all this tells about all you are for her.

adan said...

"it's based
on her dreams & to meet them, step one...

is to know them." -

lovely poem brian!

and true, one should not imitate, but as a guideline and inspiration, oh yes ;-)

missing moments said...

Loving gestures get rewarded in many ways. I am also a lucky woman to have a hubby who does similar things. Have a great vacay!!!

Syd said...

Nice to have so strong a bond and keep it vibrant. Doing the same here, man.

Sue said...

She is a lucky lady.

And there is def more than one kind of lovemaking.

=)