Tuesday, July 31, 2012

OpenLinkNight: Halfway through the eye (of the needle)

sunrise from the road, Kentucky

 Two kids practice Shove-its in the parking lot
     of the local grocery store, gazelles bounding
     on the asphalt plains---
     ollie 360 powerslide---the wheels
     of their boards gRRRinding as they kick

When the security guard pops the lights
     of his blue Cavalier & they take off

I imagine him laughing bOIsterously
     at the two shadows receding
     through golden pools cast by streetlights

Powdered sugar from his 6-pack of doNUTs
     spraying from his lips, polka dotting
     the expanse of his girth---

Him scribbling volumInous reports in furious
     Bic pen, as epic as Homer's Odyssey
     casting himself as Ulysses

Tonight, getting home, excitedly explaining
     to his wife, with puffed chest & she
     having not seen such vigor from him in years,
     taking him to bed to put it to good use

"oh baby, you are so---"
     him guffawing, "Who's your daddy now?"

& she not caring---

     that he is thinking of long haired skate boarders,

     about the plates in the china cabinet clacking
      against each other in danger of chipping,

     Justin Bieber,

     that a particular spider in Singapore, castrates itself
     after mating to improve its survival chances

     or the need to wash his shirt before tomorrow

Tonight, she has her god, and he knows it---

But tomorrow, when he wakes
     the kids will still be skating & he
     just another that has forgotten
     what it is like.

Over at dVerse today, it is OpenLinkNight, hosted by the newly mended Hedgewitch---write something poetic, come join the party---the doors will be open at 3 pm.

103 comments:

Lorraine said...

We are so dumb sometimes, I love this piece, it's true for some, and not for the real stuff ;)

SueAnn Lommler said...

Actually this is so sad and poignant. A god for the night!! Sigh!
The shadows and shirt that needs washing yet again. Trying so hard, if only for a moment..to rise above the blandness!!
Well written and very insightful.
Hugs
SueAnn

Tara Pohlkotte said...

yes. the frailty of self-importance. somedays i can feel that fight to be above tan and neutral myself :)

Valerie said...

'Tonight, she has her god, and he knows it---'

Lovely! And such relished moments can be remembered while she washes shirts.

Heaven said...

Nice description of the kids like gazelles and man feeling like a god after writing that epic report ~ What it is with men and their pride in work..maybe a lot and more ~ But a man without work, sometimes he feels like a castrated spider ~

p.s. good luck in your upcoming interview ~ smiles ~

G-Man said...

Be careful of those Muses....

kaykuala said...

He'll forget his woes that night having such diversions so right
Anyway next day they will be there
Playing games with him of 'dare'

Hank

Daniel said...

This kind of sounds too much like much of life. Something that we should be able to celebrate, but we just can't seem to embrace.

Dulce said...

Dear Brian,
Hoping you are not one of those who (ever) forgets what it is like...
Thanks a million for always being there no matter waht. I am traelling around the country and for a long while been not commenting,sorry about that- but I find places to post the things that the muse brings me--- just like you, my friend.

Hugs

Dulce

JANU said...

Well portrayed...the ego, the self-importance, the pride and his unconcerned behavior.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

All it took was a flash of the lights. lol

manicddaily said...

Hi Brian, the beginning description actually most poignant for me polka dotting of powder sugar and the furious bic, new saber, and high tailing it through the golden pools. Good luck K

Zuzana said...

Oh, I liked this one, as it shows our imperfection and sometimes it does not take much to make us feel like heroes - even *self-dilution*.
I sure like that "take him to bed" part, hihi.;)
Hope you have had a great vacation, I had the kids for the weekend so am catching up with my fav blogs.;))
xoxo

Susan said...

Wow. I think this is the title piece of the book? Because this is where you always catch people and peel back the layers, one gesture (turning on the lights) leading into the Policeman's pathetic little story which is, all said and done, enough to make a happy life. Happier still if he could remember his inner child and go on a diet. I love this:
"Him scribbling voluminous reports in furious
Bic pen, as epic as Homer's Odyssey
casting himself as Ulysses"
He is a writer and a storyteller (later) and he surely read and delighted in that classic in 9th grade when he identified with the hero with his wife Penelope.

izzy said...

Isn't it great when we get a chance to be "ON" and everything just FLOWS!
Thanks-

Monkey Man said...

it's like a small snipet from a great book....well done miller, yet again

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

But tomorrow, when he wakes the kids will still be skating & he just another that has forgotten what it is like...

Hi! Brian...
Tks, for sharing the poem [Halfway through the eye (of the needle)"] and a little snippet Of life...too!

[Once again, that can occur in any town...U.S.A [it seems, but not necessarily.]

also Thanks, for sharing the image Of...sunrise from the road, Kentucky, and your new image[avatar]... too!
deedee ;-D

Mama Zen said...

This is a beautifully detailed picture. I found this really thought provoking.

happygirl said...

Ode to a rent-a-cop. You got it. :)

Myrna R. said...

I guess triumph is different for everyone. His epic write, might mean to him what painting a masterpiece meant to Chagall. All is relative and at least for one night, she was in the presence of her god.
As always, your poem makes me think.

Pat Hatt said...

Donut six packs seem to be the in thing
As many let their guts fling haha
Can be a pain to rise above the crap
And may fall into a trap
But those days come and go
At least no donut six pack resides at my show haha

Laurie Kolp said...

Love this extraordinary snippet of an ordinary man's life (which proves there is a child in all of us)... I had to laugh at the powdered donuts stanza.

She Writes Here Now said...

Hmmm, this leaves me sad

& she not caring---

And there he lays thinking of children, the life he has helped her build, and a spider who castrates himself after mating (as he has just done) :(

Is it any wonder he has forgotten what it's like?

Teri M said...

Such a real scene in the lives of many! I went to my first open mic night last night at a local bookstore - my husbands friend was doing a reading and we were there to support her. It was a very interesting experience.....good stuff. You on vacation yet?? :-)

Dana Dampier said...

How silly to have so much pride from such a small thing... but I guess it payed off when he got home!

hedgewitch said...

Even over the hill security guards gotta get it while they can, eh?...as always your characters are like kaleidoscopes, full of bits and pieces of personality and meaning, tuned in and out for different patterns. I especially like the end here, where you prove how hard it is to transcend lame, yet retain a bit of feeling for all of them.

Heather said...

hmmm, i feel bad for the guy taking such pride in sending the skateboarders off.. yes, he has forgotten what its like to be young,
love the donuts polka dotting the expanse of his girth is a great line!

Sue said...

I've missed my daily poetry fix from you...

What's this about an upcoming interview?

=)

Louise said...

I found this quite sad & poignant...love the descriptions...two shadows receding
through golden pools cast by streetlights...and self castrating spiders. I guess we do castrate ourselves at times....forget to enjoy life...thought provoking poem :)

Claudia said...

i could cry for both of them..for him for acting like he does, for her, maybe being the reason and the victim of it in a way...i like how you paint a really complex situation of pride, self-esteem, relationship with a few well placed brush strokes.. greetings from schiphol airport..i'm having wifi..smiles

flaubert said...

Brian, I love your use of language here. It is a bit sad, yet I did smile at some of your lines. Nice work.

Pamela

Yousei Hime said...

I feel sorry for him. Which definitely means I feel sorry for me...for all of us. There is something secretly appealing about fading in the way of Keats and Shelley. Only appealing, not tempting. Not much. See you later, shroomy Shakespeare in hand. :)

Daydreamertoo said...

A god for the night... lol Oh well.
Loved the descriptions of the boys like gazelles. Another fabulous write Brian.
I see by Claudia's comment you have an up coming interview. Good luck too :)

Steve King said...

This has such a ring of truth about it...a great capture of moment by moment stuff and the thoughts all the stuff engenders. Excellent work.

Susan Daniels said...

Love this--everyday passion and transcendence sandwiched in the ordinary--well done.

zongrik said...

i like how the security guard laughs cuz he probably did the same thing...

Alice Audrey said...

We all need to be the center of our own little worlds - puffing up our place in a skater world or even our own beds.

Beachanny said...

The stream of an Odyssey always seem to fill your poems - viewpoints change: first the skaters, the policeman, his wife, and finally a long shot in omnicient. They really are all short films when one comes to think of it! Pretty exceptionally so, in fact.

Steve E said...

WOW! A castrated spider in Singapore ready to take on all comers in spider kingdom, bring them to defeat--but then what? Millions of females, and.........
(HIM wit no balls, man!)

YOU are U-NEEK Brian, and TALENTED beyond the dreams of many!

Annette said...

I could see this so clearly! The details of the images are perfect. I love the juxtaposition of his thoughts against the others.

Tara Miller said...

Love the picture but the poem is rather sad along with the relationship portrayed.

Uneven Stephen said...

Ha, how true. Very vivid - I can always picture the scenes you paint with your poems. I love this one:

"Powdered sugar from his 6-pack of doNUTs
spraying from his lips, polka dotting
the expanse of his girth"

Hilarious.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Life and its dark and light

Arron Shilling said...

polka dotting
the expanse of his girth

Yeah Baby - you ve plotted a V.cool half-pipe-curve here brian -full of smart craft to savor like fresh donuts on a stale summer eve...

i ride goofy :D

Marbles in My Pocket said...

You get a "wow" from me on this one, Brian. It's like you were watching and taking notes. eeewww... never mind that comment!
Nice write, my man!

myheartslovesongs said...

LOVE this, brian!

brilliant, as your words always are, but i really love the way you carry the tale into his thoughts.

Archna Sharma said...

What an interesting duality between the runaway long-boarders and the purposeful policeman, I found the "shadows receding" cased in the pools to be a reflection of ones own image at different points in life. This is such a raw and sad story, especially the parts at home, the danger of chipping and shattering this relationship. I love the way that he was placed into Homer's epic and I really enjoyed all of the descriptive pieces here.

Victoria said...

I love it!!! I can't imagine how boring that job must be. Again you've homed in on such good detail.

turtlememoir said...

kinda sad... & he probably won't even think to say 'was it good for you honey?' (possibly just as well...) & sad too that she probably doesn't think she deserves better

Magpie said...

I guess we all have images of ourselves in our heads and sometimes something good can come of that.

vivinfrance said...

An extraordinary stream of consciousness mixture - but so realistic of the serendipity thoughts that crowd in at the end of the day.

poetdreamersteve said...

magic words of a warrior coming home to his babe..and she won't waste the moment..I get it sugar donuts powder and all..fun stuff Brian someone has to make a man out of us mice..good write as always.STEVET

beckykilsby said...

or the need to wash his shirt before tomorrow


... details like this line make this 100% real. This character really lingers... nice work Brian.

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Ewwww Brian, you painted that scene so well I now have a love scene pictured in my mind that simply won't go away!! ;) Brilliantly observed and an entertaining read as always.

Timoteo said...

I don't know if thinking about skateboarders would do it for me...then again, I don't like the idea of Viagra.

Day Dreamer said...

A great tale but sad too. Precious moments we let slip past sometimes and relive it through another. Great Write Brian!

Natasha Head said...

Make the most of those nights...when the cloud of tomorrow is but a blip on the horizon...I live for them, and dread each new day dawning. Love the undertones, the bold images, and the kick to the stomach that comes with the realization the night is almost gone. Hope your fairing well, Poet...

Zach Payne said...

Lovely and sad, with such poignant images. I think we end up living for those nights, once in a blue moon, where we rise above life, and become, for just a little while, a god.

Much enjoyed, Brian.

Annmarie Pipa said...

some nights are better than others.

Wyeth Bailey said...

I really enjoyed the rapid-fire string of images, fast like a movie trailer, at once banal and ultimately, if momentarily, heroic :)

lookingforroots said...

Oh Brian. This hits home in a funny way for me. Maybe it's that halfway through thing and the wistfulness of it all.

Love this. Beautifully written.

marousia said...

Love the rhythm - so sad... I don't think you will every forget what it was like....

lifeisaroadtrip said...

Loved the imagery in this one, Brian. Not being young or a skateboarder it took me a moment to realize what was going on. Hope you are doing okay. xxoo

colleen said...

Wow, what a juxtaposition,a little movie scene.

hollyannegetspoetic said...

Justin Bieber! lol. Now this took me in an entirely unexpected direction! And is wonderful for doing that! :)

Charles Elliott/Beautyseer said...

Enjoyed this one, Brian!

With a flick of his lights and his Bic, his younger years are banished. And then his wife takes a full report! He doesn't seem to offer her much now. I find myself wondering about HER motivation...

Thanks!

jackie dick said...

Those rare star-glazed magical moments thinly sliced between the pumpernickel slabs of reality...yup. he was her god ...those few moments. Love this poem, Brian...poignant, and evoking lots of smiles and warmth:))

jackie dick said...

Those rare star-glazed magical moments thinly sliced between the pumpernickel slabs of reality...yup. he was her god ...those few moments. Love this poem, Brian...poignant, and evoking lots of smiles and warmth:))

jane hewey said...

very cool stream of consciousness, slice-of-life poem. it feels of summer and sadness.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

I guess he missed his calling in the world of forgetfulness, he should been a writer. cool

Gloria said...

how always I say you make me think again!
Have a nice day tomorrow Brian!

Glenn Buttkus said...

Def love the complexity in this one; maybe the wife did not fake it /tonight she had her god, and he knew it/ our world being littered with couples coupling, finding love between the fat folds, and their connection with the star of orgasm has its own validity. Sad, true, hopefully, compassionate; all that and more!

Robert Gibson said...

Love it, Brian ... the self importance after penning something epic... and the wife taking the energy and putting it to good use...

Masterful write!

Mary said...

Yup, he has forgotten what it is like.... So true, Brian; and don't we so often forget what it's like. Your poem is a reminder for all of us to remember.....and to understand what it's like.

P.S. I'm back home tonight. Should hopefully be back to writing poetry soon.

Dark Angel said...

I was reminded today that I get way tooooo caught up in the rules. All security guards love me. And did you know than banana slugs do that too... well to each other? but its ok, cause they can go on as mere females.

Semaphore said...

A poignant character sketch, exploring the Ulysses myth with a startling conceit: what if all the recounted tales were simply fabrications, puffery to create a hero, where there was none?

KB said...

This one made me chuckle because my man is in the security business and he has told me many a tale. He's my hero.

iBeingMe said...

Wow I love this piece.

lucychili said...

a friend once told me that spiders have the souls of grandmothers.

i think spiders are remarkable folk
weaving wonders, watching.

tenderness and adventures
learning how to grow into our stories.

flipside records said...

This is my favorite section:

"that a particular spider in Singapore, castrates itself
after mating to improve its survival chances

or the need to wash his shirt before tomorrow

Tonight, she has her god, and he knows it---"

I loved the part about the spider, and also your subtle reference back to the dirty shirt toward the beginning.

Chris Lawrence said...

A poignant and detailed piece that leaves an interesting taste

Dave King said...

Reproduces very tellingly the highs and lows we know of life. great read.

Fred Rutherford said...

I love the notion that this guy carried the images of earlier events with him when he was home, in that context. So true, we do carry home things with us, but the context you decided to unveil that idea was chosen wonderfully. You know, I haven't seen kids skateboarding in a really long time, which is odd, because I recall seeing them all the time before..hmm

adan said...

wow, grabbing those little moments, happens to all of us, but that donut spray image got me laughing i had to feel sorry for the whole lot of these characters ;-)

for all their guffaws, so close to me ;-)

thanks brian, nice piece

irene said...

Gosh I'm fixated on that spider.

Pauline said...

"as epic as Homer's Odyssey
casting himself as Ulysses"

you can make a story in 9 words - or less!

Jody Costa said...

Hey Brian~ love the story, feel like this could be part of a larger narrative. Nicely done!

ayala said...

Brian, a great capture ....your storytelling of ordinary life that becomes more with your details and descriptions.

Ravenblack said...

Love the tale. A peek into the life of someone often seen as a background character. Sometimes to feel like one is of worth, one has to have a heroic self image for a little while.

Real. Good. :)

Modern Day Disciple said...

I think it's rather earthy...;)
real and rather epic. How do you do it?

emmett wheatfall said...

For a moment I thought you were writing about the days of my youth...lol!

Gerry Snape said...

Powdered sugar from his 6-pack of doNUTs
spraying from his lips, polka dotting
the expanse of his girth---
this I love!! I can see that man so clearly...great verse!thankyou.

Leo said...

But will she or won't she have Her God the next day? I imagine what you have written, and it feels to life, when I see the guards near my office. Except the donuts.

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

The thing with your poems Brian- is that they just take you there....when I was reading this I could see the scene perfectly....as well as feel the emotions and relate to the charachters within- pretty amazing considering that you do this within so few lines....loved this...Took me back to the good old days, my hometown court, complete with bank and steps, remember nailing my fist kick flip variable there- before the cops showed up...

Cathleen Bissett Miller said...

Your ability to dive into a character and lay bare all its virtues and vices always astounds. Sad piece to envision, the pettiness that too many thrive upon.

Laura said...

so sad and too easy to forget what its like... wonderful poem as always brian!

Bodhirose said...

Justin Bieber...funny how he showed up in there...but hey, that's how our minds work! A snippet of a life and feelings...real, raw, sad and hopeful... I like how you roll, Brian!

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

Such a strong and memorable beginning and ending. It is so strange how ego gets in the way and make us feel illusive thoughts! Great read!

hugs
shakira

sreeja harikrishnan said...

So nice...you leave a space to to take things from a different perspective......

joanna said...

ouch, brian. way to paint the pathos and delusions of what for some is all-too-real. i feel for this guy, but even more for the wife.

Mary said...

Good night, Brian. I am going to bed too....still suffering from jet lag and awakening 4:00 a.m. Hope to see you at #1 tomorrow.

mrs mediocrity said...

You spin a great tale from a few observations... filled with life and love and the reality of it all.
Some days, life is hard, some nights, we find little bits of magic.
Always, your poetry finds both.

Syd said...

Her thoughts and his thoughts--so different. Men are from Mars and Women are from ???