Saturday, June 2, 2012

Poetics: They were Pearls before

gas station, outside Charlottesville, VA





To see the irony in this, we must
back up past the point when his mom says
'he meant nothing by it, no need to
call the law.'

Even further than us walking dogs
at the SPCA, bits of beaten hair & raw meat
long tongue lolling to take a dump
on something other than concrete,
this man-almost-but-still-boy
for three more days & i pulled along by leashes
as we talk about life and the difference
those few days make

To this morning, when the cock
has yet to raises it's comb & wake the world
from womb warm covers & cuddles, to the kitchen
table where i sit, wishing i was still sleeping, writing
just-I-fication after just-I-fication for why my job works,
so some pencil pushing auditor can make sure i check
the right boxes, as if he can really underStand

That tonight, when this boy's mom calls
to tell me he popped the bedroom closet safe,
cleaned her out & she wants it fixed
even as she stands in unwillingness to hold him
accountable---because, 'he meant nothing
by it, no need to call the law,' WHY


i DOn't lose hope~i DOn't lose faith
but dammit, don't masquerade neglect as love
& expect me to kiss it, even if
you give it's lips a good thick coat of paint
it's still just a pig willing to eat its own shit

Here, take a breathe mint

It'll help mask the stench 
the day he falls with no safety net.


Over @ dVerse Poets today, Stu has us WORKing our poetry for Poetics. He will open the doors @ 3pm. See you then.

94 comments:

Mary said...

One

Mary said...

So true about masquerading neglect as love and then being surprised when something goes wrong. I've seen it over and over again, and some masqueraders don't wake up until it's too late!

Grace said...

At some point, we all need to justify why our job is important. But care and understanding just can't happen on demand, it takes time and hard work. And there is a price to pay for neglecting children ~

JANU said...

Liked the way you have summed it up.

Suz said...

oh that was brutal
truth
how do you keep your heart open
to this stench of parenthood
Your writing is so skilled...even brutal observation is beautiful

happygirl said...

Neglect instead of parenting. And who is going to pay the price for this? I feel your pain this morning.

manicddaily said...

Pretty grim. People can be very hard to help. K

DJan said...

The imagery in this one may not be pretty but oh so true. Even if "he didn't mean anything by it," he pays the price, as do the parents. Nice job, Brian.

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

Damn- you poured this one straight out. There's a frustration that's palpable here...this speaks to me about accountability ...and in particular - how some parents refuse to take accountability, how some individuals refuse to take accountability...how things can be labelled as someone else's problem- 'please fix it for me- that's your job'...and the audits...urghhh...please... And in this poem those meaningless Audits are just the cherry on top of a whole pigstink situation. This was great Brian...so many great great lines and tiny little delicate details that just elevates this to awesomeness. Consider the #poetics prompt destroyed already!

Eva Gallant said...

Excellent. Accountability is the key that is so often lacking today.

otin said...

I always love it when the cock raises its comb to wake the world! lol

hedgewitch said...

Hard and biting, as it should be--enablers and avoiders and those who let others face the consequences for their own inability to deal are shown here for what they are. Some lovely language as well, bri.

Annmarie Pipa said...

it is hard to parent.

Susan said...

OMG
Wow
I am shaken.

A friend sent me a link on facebook that you may appreciate--it also stopped me in my little liberal boot tracks:
"For an Addict" by John DOnahue
http://www.ijourney.org/?tid=799

Daniel said...

This has some strong emotions weaved into its pattern. Frustration and righteous anger. But it has a powerful lesson to tell us.

Matt said...

I haven't had to be a parent yet but I'm sure its the hardest job anyone can have.

Bonnie said...

YES!

Steve E said...

We got to have laws, Brian--or what would be the fun in breaking them?

Besides, I always felt that every well-rounded family should include at least one safe-cracker!
--grin!

Gloria said...

OM you Brian, you know.. sometimes I dont have words anyway Im not a poet but I think like one LOL

WEll done dear Mary! LOL

Lorraine said...

You can't be the world's conscience you do so much already some parents think that disciplining a child is unnecessary yet they ask someone else to do it. It's irresponsible and the child suffers for it.

ladyfi said...

So very gritty! Great writing.

Sue said...

All good parents have to learn this lesson, sooner or later.

Sadly, it seems to me like parents in general are learning it less and less frequently. And the problem transcends socio-economic levels.

Consequence is the best teacher. But parents have to be willing to let it happen.

"/

Claudia said...

i think it's damn hard to measure "success" in your job-- needs a long breath and some of the seeds may take years until they start growing-- hopefully the auditors know this-- and ugh at how the mother acts... see this all around, not in this intensity but in the small things and they're doing their kids nothing good..

Anyes said...

Facing up to one's responsibility is often too hard for some. The enormity of what would have had to change is too great, so covering it up seems the best way.
What inspired this?

Joanna Jenkins said...

Frustration drips from your words. You have a tough, tough job, Brian, and I take my hat off to you for doing it so well and hanging in there with all the BS and red tape that goes with it.
jj

Alice Audrey said...

Yeah, how can anyone not mean to bust into a safe?

Natasha Head said...

Brian...power to you and all you do. It's not in the paperwork...its in the lives you touch. My heart couldn't take it...really. Folks be calling the law on me when I stepped to the one who could justify the neglect..seriously frustrating that even in your field, the bending to bureaucracy is still needed...because the saving lives is in the details and if the checkbox isn't marked it doesn't count...

Laurie Kolp said...

Accountability- love the threads woven within this piece, and the starting and going backwards. I agree and find it so sad that parents neglect their children like that. Powerful, Brian.

Pat Hatt said...

Sure to frustrate indeed
As one pretends to take heed
And then just waves if off
As others scoff
Thinking they are still right
Can be quite the fright

adan said...

whoa! "this" is powerful sh*t my friend -

"don't masquerade neglect as love
& expect me to kiss it"

which means your own words carry the heart

wow...

mrs mediocrity said...

whew... my heart will be burst by the end of this day...

"don't masquerade neglect as love" perfect line, perfect tone...

in the end we all pay the price, don't we? watching those around us live this out.

FrankandMary said...

Many people never see the irony in anything.

Neglect sounds like such a passive word, but it is so powerful, in all the wrong ways.~Mary

David F. Barker said...

You nailed this one with great, cutting clarity Brian!

Semaphore said...

Another intensely powerful summation of a life up to the Polaroid moment when the safe is open, and a summing up of all the possible futures stemming from that present. I love that brilliant technique of rolling back the cinematic reel of events until the moment when it all begins.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

WOW! Awesome!!! Awesome!!!

rosaria williams said...

How you bring it all together!

Daydreamertoo said...

Damn it. You need a really strong will to do the things you do and keep on doing them Brian.
So much you have to bite your tongue over and not say a word about things.
Good grief what a gut-wrenching write from you again!

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

you give it's lips a good thick coat of paint
it's still just a pig willing to eat its own shit

Loved these! All your writings are just amazing!

Charles Miller said...

You have a tough job, no doubt. The toughest part has to be being able to toughen yourself to some dumb element inside hmanity that just often seems bent on self-destruction. I don't know what tat's like, since I'm mostly a softie oarent, but having to look into the messes of other kids is hard. I'd liken it to what I day about changing my kids' diapers, which I loved to do and changing the diapers of other people's kids. In one the stench is roses, in the other it's stench. Bless you for the work and heart you have to do this.

repressedsoul said...

Definitely a hint of Bukowski in this little tale. Dark, a lot of people don't appreciate what they have in their kids.

Bodhirose said...

That co-dependence runs rampant in families...relationships. Tough to get through those barriers. Thank goodness you keep plugging along trying...working your best.

margo said...

Interesting, the different definitions of work. Your poem's focus fits the dictionary one perfectly. We put in time and effort towards some return,even if what one gets in return is negative. Parents don't always learn well. I'd say the toughest work around.

Debra said...

Man, is that mom ever paying the price for not investing her time wisely. And how you captured the pathos of it all with your word pic...

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Brian, loved this one. From memory I think you work in a counselling related role, and I can completely connect with the sense of frustration, of being at a loss with society when you want to facilitate change but where do you begin when the system is broken? I had a poem along similar lines which I wrote a week or two ago and was going to post tonight which echoes some of the messages here, maybe I will post it later. I always aim to be positive and look forward but can't help but be very cynical about this kind of thing at times. Anyway, rambling on,sorry! Awesome poem, truly.

wood said...

you've got a tough job my friend, i don't envy you. myself, having been "one of those" kids long ago, i know what kind of crap you go thru (and like teachers, the best your field fill the trenches, unsung heroes, your knowledge unheeded by those who have never seen the war you fight) keep on keepin' on... we all need your solid heart. very well said my friend

Mama Zen said...

I totally understand that feeling of helpless rage. Good write, Brian.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

"wombs warm covers", love and can't wait for bed now.

Syd said...

I get that feeling. He learns early to get by. And the mother lets him skate. When will more stuff happen. Where did he learn this was okay? I grew up in a home where I did not dare to do something like this. Hang in there, man.

Pauline said...

" don't masquerade neglect as love"

damn but you have a way of saying the obvious with such clarity

I wish I could blurt that out to the parents of some of my second grade students!

Hannah said...

So sad. They were babies once and needed love and attention and now it's just the same only different. Great writing, Brian, your work is always cause for pause and ponder.

pandamoniumcat said...

Tough love is needed sometimes but boy what a day at work... at least through you words we get a bit of an understanding!

Vicki Lane said...

Oh boy, how frustrating your job must be much of the time -- like bailing out the ocean. But I know you make a difference in lots of those lives.

henry clemmons said...

Some work ventage, maybe. In your line it can be rewarding, but challenging as well. Good thing you are a reasoned man with tolerance and passion. But I bet, you need to spout off evry now and then. Very nice! Like the voice here.

Magpie said...

Your job touches on some very raw human emotions. Accountability, I'm sometimes afraid is a thing of the past.

sheila said...

tough stuff. Sounds like mom may need people to treat her with some tough love as well.

sharonlee said...

Very potent thoughts Brian;
So many layers and shades... enjoyed reading very much.

Peace

awakenedwords said...

This is strong Brian. I can only imagine the tragedy you see and the frustration you must feel at times.

Polly said...

Odd ... how one's thoughts turn to things that don't work when asked to write about work ...

Strange ... how neglect masquerading as love reflects on 'no need'...

Wonderful ... how you've encapsulated so much in so few words

Valerie said...

Tough reading, Brian. Sadly there are too many parents who refuse to take responsibility for their own children.

Dave King said...

Powerful, brilliant writing. Strong and hard-hitting, but uplifting too - don't know how you work that trick!

Tina said...

I couldn't do your job, and the bullshit paperwork of being a teacher is one of the reasons I only lasted 8 years. Enabling is a dangerous beast, and this mom sounds like a pro. While situations like this frustrate me to no end, your writing captured that perfectly and laid it out for us to share. Thanks.
Tina @ Life is Good
Post A-Z Road trip!

kaykuala said...

One that has gone foul of the law has to face the consequences. No two ways about it. A mother's love can only be sympathized for but just. Some parents defend the doer, the sad part, knowing he's the culprit. Great write Brian1

Hank

SueAnn Lommler said...

Masks of pretense flood consciousness into reality for many!
What horrors some wake into...breath mints will help huh? Ha
Well said Brian
Hugs
SueAnn

Jyoti Mishra said...

measuring things which can't be measured is one of the toughest things to do..
assumptions, biases, justifications.. lot many things come in way..

powerful n awesome read Brian..
very beautifully u penned down some intricate things !!

Marbles in My Pocket said...

BAM! You nailed this one, Brian! Enablers are what's ruining this country. Too many get away with murder and learn nothing from their mistakes and misdeeds, because mommy, or the nanny state, won't allow them to be held accountable. And so the world turns, spinning us into chaos. Man! I don't envy you your job, brother!
But, I guess you have your writing; I imagine it must help to have the outlet.
Excellent write, Brian. Really good stuff!

Hilary said...

I can feel your frustration, Brian. It can be tough being a parent.. but so much tougher still when not teaching them accountability. Well expressed.. but so sad.

Tom said...

no doubt. thanks for trying, but sometimes somethings just can't be fixed

Sreeja said...

Pls visit the link---http://writingonjusttowrite.blogspot.in/2012/06/archana-sharma-has-passed-kreative.html

the walking man said...

A convict number will one rule he will never forget even if he sees freedom again.

TALON said...

Perfect, Brian. And that third stanza? Just loved it.

^.^ said...

Oh, boy, Brian ... this read scares me so ... I know these thoughts ... I thought I done thinking ... wrong ... think again, cat, I guess ...

kez said...

Why do some people think their progenies are immune from normal expectations and behaviours ...kids aren't suppose to be perfect they make mistakes but they must be made aware of their mistakes and learn from them ...thank fully mine were normal troublesome devils ! thanks for a truthful honest write x

RD said...

work should not be a job.....parenting is a vocation

zongrik said...

do you really walk dogs at the SPCA?

oh, thank you, thank you, thank you sooooo much if you do. :*

Heather said...

it's got be frustrating at times for you to see what you do and deal with it...on a daily basis...but we need people like you around, ya know! because there are so many people like this parent -
love this one, too

CiCi said...

You have to see the problem parents while dealing with the "problem children". I admire that you actually don't lose hope.

Betsy Brock said...

don't masquerade neglect as love....that is the perfect description. They love themselves. They don't want to be a parent...because the work is too hard and they don't want to be bothered....or make their kid mad at them.

haha...scoot over on that soap box and I'll stand up there with you. lol.

Wander said...

Brian sometimes we with lipstick clean up well, after the shite is washed off!

Wander

Myrna R. said...

Brian, I feel the anger in this. It is justified. I know you work hard. And I know the feeling of checking boxes to ease the conscience of some state audit so they'll keep funding something they don't understand.
Your words are power-packed and powerful.

ayala said...

Brian, I feel you...strong and powerful write !

carolinemcpherson said...

Great poem! - I love the raw feelings and passion and I could picture the cold heartedness and sadness in my mind. A very thought provoking piece!

Goofball said...

I'm pretty sure your just - I-fications don't stress the I as much

De said...

Smiles at this: "just-I-fication"
:)

thejuliebook said...

Powerful piece, Brian. How do you come up with these so quickly after a prompt is posted? You'd better not live in my time zone, like in Denver, or west of me, like in Seattle; I'm at least partially blaming my slow work on my time zone. :) And thanks for your feedback on my piece.

thejuliebook said...

Powerful piece, Brian. How do you come up with these so quickly after a prompt is posted? You'd better not live in my time zone, like in Denver, or west of me, like in Seattle; I'm at least partially blaming my slow work on my time zone. :) And thanks for your feedback on my piece.

Fred Rutherford said...

The not losing faith/hope stanza I found particularly strong, and man, those early morning stories/conversation I bet are rough, great lead-in stanza to the not losing faith one. Great write Brian, thanks

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara Miller said...

Your job is certainly an emotionally difficult one as you work to help those make sense of their life and find hope. You do it well and though you may not see immediate results - know that you have impacted them and planted a seed that will hopefully take route and flourish in the future. Neglect is why they turn to you because you listen and are there....I hope the parents see that and learn as well....

James Rainsford said...

Powerful and so very true Brian.

ginn3music said...

Wow--powerful piece--you've captured the relationship of so many, too many, parents and children I know.

Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil said...

Damn, Brian. Once again you mine your own life and come up with gold, or is it tarnished silver? SO true, I've seen it volunteering in public schools, the temptation combined with the lax parenting... equals eventual incarceration. All for nothing. Very moving, effective write. Amy

Zuzana said...

It is tragic when parents fail to be parents. True love comes from raising a child to understand right from wrong. I can imagine you must see so much of this in your line of work...
Beautiful piece full of passion.
xox

poeticlicensee said...

Child abuse has many personas...

poeticlicensee said...

Child abuse has many personas...