Saturday, June 9, 2012

Poetics: So many choices...

Boonsboro, VA
Choice & circumstance, how much
of life is each?---a hot air balloon
(red, yellow, green) floats above the horizon

sun high & hot, i just want to get out
away from everything. so familiar, i can tell
you the given names of the trees standing
by the brick entrance to the cemetery
at the end of our road---boys at gramma's

the house too quiet to appreciate, I-29 runs North
to Charlottesville & we are talking, about?
all the green in variation, up & down,
the road meanders through the hills, flowers
in bloom, mountains stretch kinks out their spines
in the distance & your hand on mine, when
blue lights come on behind---

"Do you know why i am stopping you?"
has to be the worst question ever, but i answer
& receive a ticket for my time

We visit shops & art galleries, walk the bricks,
so many bricks, purchase two books
at the used store & eat mediocre pizza
at a side street joint, people walking passed,
all the people----

When the judge asks how i plead, i will answer
"guilty" of going too fast,
because sometimes i am,

but not today,
feet to the brick, time meant nothing
your fingers tracing love notes
on my palm.

Today @ dVerse Poets, I will be tending the pub for Poetics, bringing you a multiple CHOICE prompt to write on. It's all about CHOICE isn't it? smiles---will open the doors at 3 PM EST---see you then.

90 comments:

SueAnn Lommler said...

What a tender and insightful piece. I like the "tracing love notes in my hand"...I like this one Brian...and the hot air balloon.
Hugs
SueAnn

Steve E said...

"We will walk down the Avenue
though there ain't no street at all.."

Brian, YOU got a ticket? And it didn't even mar the enjoyment of the remainder of the day? WHY does that not surprise me, either? (I am not surprised by lot of things these days.)

I love those drives of where you speak, and Charlottesville, so small, and yet not so. And downtown, where one can shop and *forget* speeding tickets, courtrooms and such--for the moment.

And you make a day sound like what it should BE. Not a humdrum experience, but a time of JOY, PEACE!

Mary said...

That is the worst experience ever, I think...driving down the road and have that blue light behind you wondering if they are coming for YOU. And then you realize they ARE. NOT fun...and it sounds like you are going to go to court. Good for you! It was probably a speed trap.

Daydreamertoo said...

Ot oh.... heavy foot eh!~! (I'm also guilty of that :) :) )
Glad you and your wife enjoyed your free time. Love how your draw love notes on each other hands...done that too. :)
This is such a romantic, image filled read.
Lovely!!

manicddaily said...

Wonderful when the day is too good to get ruined! K.

manicddaily said...

Or maybe I should say when mind power is strong enough to make the choice NOT to let the day get ruined. K.

Grace said...

I like the change of tempo from fast to slow ~ The meandering of the shops around and trees and mountains, so many choices indeed ~ See you later ~

izzy said...

It is so nice when we can just CHILL
out-

Laurie Kolp said...

Children don't appreciate the quiet at their grandparents house, do they? Glad you had some special time and that the blue lights didn't ruin it.


P.S. Is this the ticket you got awhile back or another one?

Susan said...

"Do you know why i am stopping you?"

Ah! I felt that moment. In 61 years, I've been asked it three times. So I drew in my breath afraid the day was ruined--as, I imagine did the passenger in the car. But in the very next Stanza your narrator calms my fears, and we continue on our slow way through memory. Thanks for not going too fast today!

DJan said...

Choice and circumstance: I hardly ever get on the freeway without using my cruise control, since it's so easy to get going too fast without noticing. I smile when I see the cops having pulled someone over... wonder if it's ever been YOU. :-)

kaykuala said...

Getting a ticket is just a reminder.It could have been worst. I would just laugh it off for I realized it meant good.But it's good we keep a slow pace as you've said later in your verse.Great write Brian!

Hank

Claudia said...

there's so much tenderness in this...a gentle capture of just enjoying that shared moments together..and so good to just swim with the day at times, breathing the air slowly and just be...love the fingers tracing love notes..nice..and often i'm guilty of going too fast as well..

Chantel said...

Mountains stretching the kinks out of their spines--this whirled me back to my years in the Rockies, the beautiful ache of thin air that tastes of sunshine.

I've been going entirely too fast lately...

CiCi said...

Sounds like you were able to keep the distraction of the ticket out of the way of a lovely time together. Driving with hands touching and staying close in your hearts reminds me of days gone by, but good memories they are.

Becky Sain said...

1) swoon
2) excellent work. We all need to be guilty of taking our time once in a while -- or many times. :-)

Matt said...

Haven't been pulled over in a long time luckily! Great writing Brian!

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

its getting cold here today and raining too. good you have nice weather to have a walk and have fun! altho, a ticket? ugh!...

JJRod'z

Gloria said...

What nice Brian!
Have a nice day!

Pat Hatt said...

LOL should have gawked a little more
You slipped up at your shore
Too busy preoccupied
And the copper turned the tide
Thankfully haven't got a ticket in a long time
Can't believe you'd committ such a crime..lol

Louise said...

Ah, lovely tender write, again...bad luck with speeding ticket, though...sounded beautiful otherwise.. :)

Natasha Head said...

Nice Brian...sometimes the price we pay to drive away to the place where time doesn't matter is worth it. And I know well there are times I can't get there quick enough. I'm still caught up in the smell of the used books...personal trigger :) See you soon

JANU said...

Really cute...nice precious moment.

Gloria said...

Dear Brian if you have time come and see I made a new post today is my birthday LOL Im happy sharing with you my cake!

Myrna R. said...

I like this. I've had times like this. They're so mellow and serene. Excitement is absent, yet the moment is memorable. Perhaps because of my stage in life, I sensed the benefit here of having chosen your beloved. And now, beyond romance and responsibilities, loving companionship is the reward.

Anyes said...

...time meant nothing...so beautiful Brian I am glad you are enjoying it.

Isn't speed like time? We never know how fast they both go? ;-)

Enjoy your quiet week-end

Daniel said...

It seems that you survived all of this well, as least as judged by how things ended up.

Eva Gallant said...

This was lovely. I like the mountains stretching the kinks out of their backs, and I often trace lovenotes on my husband's palm.

She Writes Here Now said...

This is beautiful, Brian. The view of the setting, the mix of life, and the way love comforts and takes us through.

FrankandMary said...

Sometimes the repercussions of choices & then the outcome of the actions performed due to the repercussions & on it goes...

But your wording & structure is lovely.

Sue said...

I love days like that, and I look forward to many more of them with the hubby retiring this month!

=)

(minus the ticket, of course)

;)

rosaria williams said...

Yeah, the judge will hear your excuse and let you off the hook!

otin said...

I want to punch cops when they ask dumb questions like that!

Beautiful sentiment in the poem.

Peggy said...

Neat prompt, Brian, even though making choices is a difficult thing for me. LOL I like your poem and the choice to not move to fast on a lovely afternoon. A true gift.

jackiedick said...

Well, you chose sweetness and light in this one, Brian. I like!

Sue Judd said...

Lovely, positive and tender...taking time out to notice life, (all too often moments are gone before you realise it) great last stanza.

Pam Rosep said...

I love the way this poem moves along, some sauntering, some hurrying, love the story told.

Duane F said...

Nice poem, it is a good question, How much of our life is due to choices and how much to circumstance. However each, circumstance presents us with a choice to make. I like this propmt, it helped me get out of the dark funk I have been in today.

Virginia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary said...

Thanks, Brian! I'm caught up now. Appreciate ya watching my back.

hedgewitch said...

Interesting and also, softly and glowingly written--time on the road is always enlightening, and did you really 'choose' to get the ticket--so much that we get just seems arbitrary, but never that touch on the palm.

Polly said...

Softly reflective, I like the changes in pace, the sense of travel, the indication of subliminal choices being made

hiroshimem.com said...

I like how fast and slow alternate in this piece. Good reflection on choice and circumstance, and paths traced by whoever traces them.

Mona said...

Hmmm. hot air balloon point of view!

Betsy Brock said...

the day sounds fun!

speeding tickets...yeah, I've had a few. :)

marousia said...

Love the opening stanza - love it all

pandamoniumcat said...

Well sometimes it's hard to concentrate on the speed you're going...especially when your tracing love notes...Very nice poem!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Enjoy the time with your love, but slow down, man.

marousia said...

Love the image of the hot air balloons - love the structure of this poem

Charles Miller said...

Watch out for those speed bumps. We do make these choices and it is often worth the effort, given the circumstances. Being with the one you love where you only have so much time... but then that's a metaphor for our lives, too, perhaps. We only have so much time to live and love and sometimes taking the chance is needed, though one must always be ready, as here, to accept the responsibility and consequences for our acts.

Dawn said...

"your fingers tracing love notes
on my palm" what an awesome close to this, Brian... You can make a ticket sound glorious.

Bodhirose said...

I like your quiet and lazy day meanderings..nice. Except for getting the ticket...I guess you weren't meandering very slowly down I-29..

S.E.Ingraham said...

Ah - this is splendid - beautifully paced and penned ... as a heavy-foot myself I've more than once heard the "whoop" of a siren behind me and seen the blue lights (once even pulled over to let the guy go by, only to realize he was pulling me over - awkward ...)Like I said, the rhythm and everything else about this poem is just first rate. Thanks for manning the bar also and coming up with this great topic!

http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/06/choices-or-illusion-of-same.html

farmlady said...

Oh those times when you are just two again for a little while.
Children are fine with this if they are being spoiled at Grandma's. But the small time away for parents is rejuvenating, when you can "walk the bricks" alone...together... for a while.
Nice one!

Katherine said...

"Ah...Ticket-Shmicket!" that's the best attitude to have Brian. Why let a ticket get in the way of a romantic walk with the one you love"
Attitude is everything...it's all in how one chooses to think about it.
Beautiful Brian...Kath :-)

sharonlee said...

Wise poignant air to this one... full of insight and quiet richness.

Valerie said...

Apart from your foot having an affair with the gas pedal, I enjoyed reading about your day. In fact, it was charming.

Dave King said...

I could relate to this totally. The only time I was asked that question was my son's eighth birthday. Brand new car. His birthday treat. He in the back seat certain I was off to prison...
I don't have a favourite line or lines, it's homogeneously beautiful throughout.

ND Mitchell said...

Remember the sinking feeling of being stopped...your attitude is best...just part of the journey! Enjoyed this.
David

sharonlee said...

http://sharonlee-gatheredinthoughts.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/walking-enlightenment-road.html


I have created a page devoted to only my de'verse writes... I thought it time to commit.

Peace

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

Brian- this is cinematic....just capturing perfectly that unspoken feeling of being trapped in familiar surroundings, hat wanten escape, the reflection and the questions we ask ourselves....beautifully written....and the policeman, a metaphor for all things familiar, ordered, dragging you back, stopping you from putting your foot down and getting the hell out of there with the one that you love.....breathtaking dude....I love this

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Brian, you always write so beautifully and tenderly of your loved one and I adore that you can appreciate the extraordinary of mediocre pizza... Cos it's not about the food or the streets or the trees whiz zing by, it's all about the moment and you capture that every time. Did any of that make sense? I don't know, but I do know I loved it!

Lorraine said...

as always life comes true for me through your writing, I was once stopped by an old school mate of mine (Thank God) because i Hadn't come to a full stop. Here, by the cops it's called an American stop, as in you know you just did an American stop, I gotta a warning, no ticket for Lorraine lol

Pauline said...

as long as you're aware of going too fast, you have the chance of slowing down - as always, your words find the perfect venue.

the walking man said...

There IS poetry in everything...it isn't (in my case never) always pretty but it is there if one just has the heart to see it.

sage said...

that last line (finger tracing love notes on my palm) is wonderful.

theprimate said...

There's a tension running through the piece, almost an envy of the balloon, the recognition of the need to get away, the matter of fact recounting of the familiar(the present and the past) and the speeding ticket and judge (the present and future) it doesn't hint at the root of the unease except in the emptiness of the house, but has the redemption in the holding of a hand, I really enjoyed this one Brian :-)

De Jackson (WhimsyGizmo) said...

Love the flow of this, from this:
"Do you know why i am stopping you?"
has to be the worst question ever
(AMEN)
to that fantastic last stanza.

Fred Rutherford said...

I love how the offense mattered not, that one line of the hand on yours, made everthing else insignificant. Really like that the most here. But some fun thought driven lines that just wove, like a road, very cool. I have to admit, I would've still tried to get out of the ticket though lol

Rachel said...

When the judge asks how i plead, i will answer
"guilty" of going too fast,
because sometimes i am,

mmm, yes, this. this.

thejuliebook said...

It's funny how a different person, in a different place can have a day that feels so familiar. I really enjoyed the flow in this one--the restlessness leading to the speeding car and then the stroll. Nice one.

wood said...

very vivid scene you paint here (and if anybody understands escapism, it would be me, heh, that's all that my mind is good for these days). love the ending too, very nice touch

zongrik said...

i see u like used book stores, so do i

:)



Princess Vadar

Friko said...

Lovely; escaping for a while, just ambling and being. Never mind about the ticket, that comes later.

TALON said...

Some speeding tickets are worth it :)

Tino said...

people walking passed,
all the people----

And I broke into Park Life ;-) I just could not help myself.

I often enjoy visiting master wordsmiths. Somehow, you make the mundane interesting, a rare talent.

ayala said...

Sorry about the ticket but a wonderful day...tender and sweet ending.

Leovi said...

I love this poem. No, the rush is not good, we must live more slowly.

rosemary mint said...

Geez Louise, I feel like I'm peeking into a serious love fest her, Brian. Awesome. :)

"flowers
in bloom, mountains stretch kinks out their spines
in the distance & your hand on mine"

And the ending. Loved "I will plead guilty ..."

Pat said...

Nothing like time for just the two of you. Yes. Plead guilty for moving too fast. But I'm glad you took your time (once you arrived at your destination!)

Luke Prater said...

very touching write... the ending v nice in particular.. hehe oh yeah I can't believe you told your wife the tim ein seconds right when I posted that piece!

Luke Prater said...

very touching write... the ending v nice in particular.. hehe oh yeah I can't believe you told your wife the tim ein seconds right when I posted that piece!

mrs mediocrity said...

This is another beautiful slice of life... always I am taken by your ability to turn the everyday into the extraordinary. You have a gift.

Cressida de Nova said...

We must all take time out to smell the roses. Life is short. Enjoyed your poem.

DQPoetry said...

Well written Brian, I was along with you on the journey.

Nice how a beautiful day like that can make it seem like nothing matters.

Interesting style you've chose, almost a piece of prose but somehow it still reads like a poem. How do you decide on style, does it just happen as such?

Tara Milller said...

It was such a peaceful and special day with you, just doing whatever we wanted - together. Nothing could spoil that!! We need another one of these days....minus the speeding ticket though. ;)

Stranger said...

The seemingly insignificant details, like mediocre pizza, made the poem work for me. The ability to find good in the day despite a speeding ticket is admirable. I know of only one other person able to do that and I am married to him.

Magpie said...

Ouch, a ticket or being pulled over, either one, are never fun. I'm afraid the experience colored the rest of your day...mediocre pizza. :(

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

If a ticket can be "worth it" this one is....

Syd said...

I hate that question: Do you know why I am stopping you today? Only gotten one in my life. Still....Sorry dude, but glad that it didn't mess up your day in C-Ville.