![]() |
| art on the corner, Charlottesville, VA |
The day is over, the day is done,
night's great curtain has fallen,
pin pricked & shimmering,
outside the window pane
animals scurry, prowling,
as moths beat themselves against
the light---and tomorrow i will
find their remnants, but tonight
on the table, a plate of bones dries
still held together, a carcass bereft
of meat, marrow straining through opaque
points--it flew once, this bird, with purpose
danced lazy on the drafts, or strutted
round the yard, gave birth, sacrificed
it's children to breakfast---the joints,
round & dimpled, ribs templed,
back bone notched---i suck
my fingers then pick my teeth with a sliver
of wood, not to miss a moment, content
then let slip the remains of this day
along its own juices
into the garbage
and flip the switch
giving way to night,
so those seeking the light
will stop killing themselves to reach it.
written for Theme Thursday & Imperfect Prose

67 comments:
I'm first,just an outburst!
Hank
I'm 2nd, I have a hand
Hank
I'm third: Perfect, every word!
I'm 3rd, nerd?
Hank
Nice ending...hope you enjoyed the feast.
Can't have it your way. Missed 3rd by a whisker!
Have seen birds that hit hard on the glass door with a thud. They stayed still for a while, recovered, and flew off! Switching off the lights would do a lot of good. Great write Brian!
Hank
This poem has a great mix of what I would call the sacred and the profane. There is something mystical and yet very mundane and Earthbound about this. You're an exceptional talent, and I', glad to have found you brother.
Yep. I always had you pegged for a moth savior...
;)
I hate to see creatures hitting the glass... and I'm still a meat eater when I feel I shouldn't be ...
You always come at life from such a surprising perspective, Brian! You take the mundane and make it magical ... or in this case, with a dash of morbid too! :)
Brutal truth right here, Brian.
not to miss a moment, content....
this is going to linger long with me. Thank you!
Bone appetit--grin!
hey brian...
this is great piece...
imbued with atmosphere
and a sense of attitude
and personality...
the slow burn of time and the inevitability of an ending
cheers bro
this has a very melancholic feel to it...almost mystical, but very warm, a bit split, then held together..not sure how to express exactly..but touched me quite a bit...and the last stanza stopped my breath for just a moment... very cool write sir..
What a way you have with descriptive words! I love the final lines and will meditate on them today.
haha I got them rhyming at the start
Too funny to have them doing it at your cart
See what you started
Now it will never be parted
And yeah the day drags on
And we all fall for the con
Sometimes it's best to relax
Instead of trying to always go to the max
Ah, so many have killed themselves that way - and not even found the light they were looking for! Excellent piece.
Seems like a slow and easy write but I'm thinking there's a lot more to this one in the layers.....hmmm. I'll read this again.
Sounds like you had chicken for supper. Eating the eggs for breakfast was (a clue?) LOL
Sounds like it was a nice feast too. We're having chicken too in about 10 minutes time. :)
Bone appetite indeed.
Dinner outside on the porch. Sounds yummy!
there's a reverence combined with practicality in this i really like, it's an attitude i've heard many american indians had, and one i try to remind myself to practice, thanks so much brian
This feels testimonial, hearty and beautiful, one of the best that I've read so far. I love the image of the moth, hungry and losing itself to the light. As you point out, there are some things that just don't belong to us. I've tried different diets, one that made me feel more 'into the wild' and the one that I've settled on, harmony and variety. There is a such thing as attainable light without having to kill ourselves. Or so, I see it as this. :)
I had to think about this one. Liked it, and I know it goes deeper than the obvious. I just hope I don't turn off the light for any wanting to reach it, by my complacent days and shallow nights.
Ah yes, it is true that sometimes creatures that seek light risk all and die in the seeking. Thinking of moths, as an example. So much in your poem, Brian, but I am glad it is not yet dinner time.
Brian, you make enjoying a nice roast chicken painful! ahahhaaha!
I thought I'd be hearing about some poor dead bird whose flight was ended unexpectedly. I tried to save a Peregrine Falcon that flew into my plate glass window. It was heartbreaking. She lived 3 days. We are up in the mountains and, at that time, there were no animal rescue services. Broke my heart.
beat themselves against
the light
...
such vividness
and then the ending.
wow. tender and graphic
I love the opening lines, bri--I can see night there like a curtain...and the chicken skeleton is pretty cool as well.
You make me want to be a vegetarian! lol
Dinner outside in the summertime. It doesn't get any better. :)
Oh this ones much deeper for me, sounds like quite the savoring feast :)
nicely penned. to kill in the name of faith, is what this made me think of...something I will never quite understand. (don't they know they are fighting over the same Divine Power, just different names? GEESH!!)
Giving thanks for the everyday things. It's not just the big things that we should give praise for.
Your words always make me feel...
I love the last line. Gives me such a nice feeling of depth as it completes the imagery.
the moon sends a kiss
and i catch it in my hand
as i gaze upon its sweet goodnight
i know that the day is done
but the promise of tomorrow
whispers sweet nothings in my ear
and i am sated...
I appreciate the details of the day sinking into the night ~ Of life of the bird, and bones on the plate ~
Enjoyed the light from your pen ~ Smiles ~
As I began reading, I was imaging taps being played, "Day is done, gone the sun..." Nice writing.
Always, always a good thing to remember to be grateful.
so those seeking the light
will stop killing themselves to reach it.
i actually said "wow" out-loud when i read this. i love how your entire meal was in gratitude. how you didn't just say grace, but lived it.
You have this way of messing with my head a little. Your moths make me think of crabs and deer and how they can easily (illegally) be destroyed in their attraction to light. What makes me think I'm different? Am I different? Am I drawn to the spotlight, or a more sacred Light? Regardless, does my desire for light/Light endanger me?
it's the last line that's the killer...
Funny. I wrote a piece about the sound of "moths beating against the pane," seeking the light... and almost linked it up to IP this week but kept it tucked in my notebook instead. Looks like great minds think alike. :) Thanks for your words.
Loved the visual in the words!
A touching piece, I felt the emotions running through as I read
wow...Intense lines .Oh my!lot to learn from you :)
Just wonderful.
That last stanza was simply perfect!
Great work!
Such a gift you have with words. I am in awe. Just beautiful. Always good to be here Brian.
A cool write, Brian.
That final verse was quite the wrap up on this fowl piece. 5 verses of a relative sense of contentment and then *slap* be glad you're not dinner and live in the time of your life while you have it to live in.
This one took wing with just enough dark meat on the thighs.
The eggs for breakfast- sad-
poor chickens really do have it rough sometimes- and I am glad you saved a moth or two for another day!
Great contrast... outside animals scurry while inside their what's for dinner. I think I might turn vegan after all... = )
The last verse is amazing ... much to think about ... my own night (darkness) is life saving to others ... that's compassion in action,B ...
A great poem as life itself.
lovin' that last stanza. It really should not be that hard should it?
Ouch and wow...
Ah....I can just see you leaning back and letting out a big sigh. Lovely.
my favourite line.."so those seeking the light
will stop killing themselves to reach it."
so true on so many levels. You're brilliant!
killer ending there. No pun intended, well, ok, sort of…Really excellent poem Brian.
You have a gift my friend, in making a bird carcass into something delectable and picking one's teeth a savory act!
Brian, I might have to turn vegetarian after this one. Brilliant!
the detritus of our living is a testament to our living, and such a practical thing as dinner to serve truth upon.
Very thought-provoking, Brian. That last stanza is going to stay with me.
Only you can turn the mundane of a day, like a simple meal, into haunting images with references to something much more deep and profound.;)) Maybe even sinister.;)
I love the way you hint at the feral animal within us.;)
xoxo
highlight of the post..
u had a good time :)
fabulous ending!
brilliant, as you always are, brian!
happy father's day! {belated}
♥
wow what a feast of words here, well planned and written ;)
Post a Comment