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| 'Pool' by Cole Miller (7) |
pretty little girls
at the pool, prance & preen
to get a rise out of old men
smooth skin & newborn breasts,
young ones with so much life
left to live & learn
not asking much, they
graciously give it away
flesh so commonplace
becomes as boring
as a McDonald's hamburger,
but even they charge a dollar.
Over at dVerse Poets, Gay has us writing Terversen. Rather than me confusing you by explaining it, head on over.
And if you have read me any amount of time you realize I am no prude, but at the pool yesterday it seemed the age of innocence and modesty is ever diminishing.
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71 comments:
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I definitely agree. I think it starts with the kinds of clothing that is being sold for very young girls. I am appalled sometimes when I see things for pre-shoolers - 3rd grade which looks more like teen attire than attire for children. And why would parents buy these things?
yes, I know what you mean. Crazy/crazy. And they don't really get it. k.
Well...you're marching through this new form effortlessly.
All present and correct I would have thought. And a fun theme to boot. Great topic this evening.
Yep and yep. Keep your eyes to yourself. They are just trying out what they see on tv and video games all day long. (love the name Cole)
As to the form: I'd say you nailed it. It really is like breathing I think - feel like a natural heart beat that 3/4 waltz beat - everything in 3 breaths and you manage that brilliantly here. You have never failed at any form of yours I've read.
As to the subject: definitely has that aspect Nabokov wrote about in '55 in Lolita. I think little girls are confused by messages and likely always have been. When society demanded women (particularly single young women) dress demurely this didn't (doesn't) present such a difficulty; however little girls imitate as soon as they begin to observe. When they're toddlers, it's cute. Budding tweens present something shocking (and it is more than a glimpse of stocking via Cole Porter). I wonder if the Romans had this problem?
Wwewoooooo, that last line was like a slap! Good topic. The scene seen/thought by you at the pool, resonates with mine in the classroom and there the teens hadn't even undressed down to the bathing suit. Expressed with economy and the brevity that matches your content.
Sad but true, seems like there's plenty of places for pedophiles to visit if they want to get a rise. And the kids just keep getting younger and younger wanting to do crazy things.
funny..i thought the same when i was walking barcelona beach and wondered if a man would see it differently.. great job on the form as well.. not sure if i manage to give it a try...and i like cole's drawing..
It saddens me to see the prevalant sexualization of young girls. Strong topic to address in this poem...one that needs to be heard.
Well done for nailing the form, I don't think I feel up to this prompt...And a good form to address this issue, which does need to be heard. I am always saddened by the sight of young girls trying to emulate adults without understanding what they are doing, and the dangers.
Youth is wasted on the young.
They are trying (vying) to be a "TEN", but Brian, you WROTE a "TEN"...
Steve
You can say things in poetry that would be more than a challenge in any other form ...
I really do miss the mystery of it all ... and feel sorry for this generation! Nicely said, Brian! (love, love, love the artwork)
I am actually nervous for my daughter now that she taller and coming of age at 13 years. They don't think its a big deal which for us, might be a a very big deal ~ (Still thinking of what to write) ~
Nice drawing by Cole ~
last verse becomes as opposed to become to start the alliterative sound in the conversational tone. Though I have no definition for modern, every generation wishes to be modern and thus the succeeding generation considers those past as primitive.
Personally poetry is a function of the entire combination of being within a human..body (visceral felt physically) mind(of the soul life, alive and living to the reader and the writer) spiritual from the very core of the cosmos that resides so deeply within the heart that no miner could ever get to the vein to steal it from that spirit.
You're versin with the triversin, for the dVersin, bri. Nice job, and a cautionary tale for parents, I imagine. Cole's drawing looks remarkably like something I would draw, which is why I write.
I know what you mean! I think it's horrible especially since I have a daughter (thank goodness she's modest). Love this. We were at the pool today, too!
$1.25, where I come from. A wry commentary on social norms, wrapped up adeptly in a triversen shawl, so unlike the unwrapped subjects in the poem.
You are moving onto new poetry forms, but the forms of the young girls is the same, ancient and tragic...
Yes, it's hard to witness that innocence disappearing right before your eyes. I'm grateful that my own two daughters grew up valuing modesty.. Love what you did here, Brian.
So this is how it's done. Excellent job. Yes I agree the times are a changing into less clothes.
True words here...nothing is left to the imagination...love it :)
I was a bit taken back, but i get it. The future of young people seem much more advanced than when i was growing up. the things I hear sometimes makes me feel like am the kid hearing this for the first time. Good write
yep...it is shocking...was not like that when I was that age...it does start so young now.
Tell Cole the drawing is awesome!
true enough, but at the pool and beach it's almost expected, so put on your dark sunglasses and enjoy the show
Sometimes we often wonder. What's wrong with parents. The kids never really realize or understand. Parents set the limits. Seems many are not bothered. Aptly brought out, Brian!
Hank
The young imitate what they see around them. I am not sure if young girls are trying to look sexy or alluring to their peers or if they are just thinking to look pretty and feel good about themselves and their bodies.
Love this - so vivid - the subject matter is so true - Love the way you played with the form
It's diminishing in the halls of the middle school where I teach, too. Holy cow, kids show a lot of flesh. Great exploration of that through poetic form. I enjoyed the read.
well done Brian - I think you glommed onto this form much more easily than I and addressed something socially relevant besides ... very cool
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/06/we-are.html
It's sad to see that is the way so many young girls seek approval and validation. Dangerous too.
So many young women growing before they should... before the time to become adults have arrived. How confused they are! Not to mention that it takes all the mystery out of a woman when your so willing to flaunt it.
Dear Brian, I am with you on this one. I guess every generation seems to think that the young ones lack in manners, modesty, dignity and substance.
Not sure if it is correct though, or if it is just a state of mind. I feel in any case that the young ones appear so much more promiscuous than we were, but then again, when I was young, all girls went topless at the beaches here in Europe and that is no longer the case today.;))
Have a great weekend dear friend, our will be weather-wise pure autumn.;)
xoxo
So true! The age of innocence IS getting younger but saying that, I do remember the first time I noticed I was attracting male attention in my swimsuit and it gave me a sense of power!! Even then!
(You notice that I can't stop coming back to your amazing work!!)
This is a subject I could labour extensively. I look at the kids and wonder ... don't the parents SEE what they are encouraging? As for the media ... I'd like to horsewhip those that put ideas into little kids heads.
Excellent form and content. As ever, a masterclass!
You really did a great job with the form. It's a terrific poem too! You really hit with this one, the clothes designed for the pre-teens and younger is unbelievable...someone must buy them because they keep making these way to revealing items!
Big, big subject matter at a number of levels and a brave one to tackle in today's climate. But then surely that's where we poets should sometimes be .. in the frontline of comment. Your offering tackles it in an excellent manner. Great poem.
Sharp... but as mother of 2 girls (& 2 boys) and grandmother of 3 granddaughters, I definitely agree.
The more entries I read the more I'm convinced I didn't follow the objective. I tried.
I hear ya...I have four teenage granddaughters!!! Sigh!!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Oh, your poem captures it- the way we've cheapened what God has given us to share with only our spouse. Raising 3 daughters in this world today certainly drives me to prayer!
kids going prematurely matured...
goin haywire and reasons are too many...
lines r awesome as always..
striking right at the heart !!
It's really shocking nowadays what young girls wear and the very fact that their parents allow it!!! Too much skin leaves little for the imagination, the chase and the initimacy/desire as they grow up and one day have a husband.
I love all your real stories, maybe he meant carpool? ;)
A perfect poem for the them and with the message delivered.
were you hanging out at the local pool watching the tweens? I do believe that kids are growing up too quickly.
Excellent write, Brian. It starts younger and younger these days doesn't it?
I totally agree...innocence disappears all too fast! Have you ever seen "Toddlers and Tiaras"? I wand to barf when I hear some mother telling her 4 year old to act sexy!
You know how I feel about it...
Such a sad situation.
"/
And I'm sure their rise
Makes them think they are wise
Sick old farts
Someone should play darts
I completely understand this sentiment...trying to buy an acceptable swimsuit for my 11 year old daughter has been a nightmare the last couple of years, most of the available ones in her size would have made a stripper blush. We definitely need a return to a sense of modesty and decorum. Very nicely done!
yes...I hear you!! we preach and preach this to our girls...i think for the most part they got it...the boys have to just not really look...harder for them , i think.
I agree with you on all of this. I'm told by Chloe all the time when I tell her to COVER Up because she's not walking the streets half naked "You're too old" You're right, the young these days don't seem to know what modesty is anymore.
Well said~!
"not asking much, they
graciously give it away" -
then, clunk, but even the burgers are at least a dollar! lol!
if it wasn't so kinda sad a commentary at the same time, it'd be even funnier -
but it's that mix of innocence perspective and humor that makes this so good ;-)
I think I would have to agree. We were at our local pool last week and the suits were making me blush! Nothing is left to the imagination, that's for sure. Some girls, unfortunately, have to get attention wherever they can get it.
Your poetry makes great social commentary... Good writing.
Sometimes, as you know, the more skin a girl reveals, the less true confidence she really has. Your poem tells the truth.
I agree (but I might be a prude, I don't know. :) I get shocked at least once each time I sub in the high school. Makes me sad. They just don't know.
LOVE Cole's drawing! :) And your accompanying words are, as usual, brilliant. :)
Today's immodesty makes me wish I didn't have a girl so she won't feel the pressure to clad herself scantily when she gets to be that age. Oh wait, it's my job to teach her. ;)
Tell me about it. My teenage daughter normally acts like a prude, but her friends dress racy to go to school. It can be shocking.
I hear you about the scantly clad girls. All I can think of is "Where is their mother!" Men would have killed me if I dressed like that.... Which just goes to show how old I am...
Happy Father's Day to you and your family.
jj
I like this Brian and I think the same way, it's just that you say it so well. I have to say it's nice to hear that a man thinks this way. Good to be back reading your poetry again.:)
Great statement here. Completely agree. and nothing wrong with being a prude Brian lol Really like what you did with the form here.
Great stuff Brian and I quite agree.
Wow! So much said in a few words. The ironies and double meanings are jewels out of so many in this piece, Brian. Reflects the sadness of the world today.
I do realize you are no prude, which is why this particular study is such a stark and powerful commentary. Wow.
Oh, yes ... a very different generation. It struck me while in Istanbul where it was common to see women, some beautiful women, covered up, to find something mysterious about what may lie beneath their soft subdued clothing!
God, ain't it the truth? I was at a store and saw gold-flecked bikinis for five-year-old girls. Parents are absolute idiots for buying into this culture. Thank God Riley was not one of those mall zombies... Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/06/14/we-interrupt-your-regularly-scheduled-programming/
another classy piece of work, you are the best at these trust me..
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