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| dtown Lynchburg (slightly modified) |
hello....hell-o
can anyone....(hear this)
is any(one)....list-ning
this is a trans-mission from
the end of time---the only one---
left behind---understand---
all alone---it's all a loan---
what's ur interest rate? it's debt come due
collector's here to knee cap you
what's ur interest rate, as you shoot the moon
wormwood's spinning space, on its way through
----the heaven's
in an epoch-calypso
(epoch---------------calypso)
turned slow dance, one man, one woman
at the dawn of time/de-lighting in each other
& that became TOO MUCH
i mean, why settle for just one, when
to keep them is so hard & i might have let go
of my own
----so i let go &
this is a transmission from the end of time, where
i'm the only one, all thought of others, left behind
understand it's all about me, all alone's not so bad
life, it's all a loan, as long as you're not there
when the interest comes due---
cause & effect, burn the butterfly wings
before it splits the union with non linear, little things
what do you want from me, wHAt---
WASH DISHES---beneath me
CLOTHES, ha, CLEAN HOUSE, mundane
I AM THE MAN & I AM KING
of EVERYthing (& nothing
nothing
nothing)
hello...hell-o
can anyone...
i am the only one...
it's the end of my time....
At dVerse Poets today, Karin of ManicDDaily is running the show in her first official day as a new pub tender for Poetics and is getting us to write on duty and obligation, and i took the obtuse view of feeling as if we had none and played it out to the extinction event. Pretty grim huh? Smiles. Tune in today at 3 pm, to see how others spin this.
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72 comments:
i like this a lot..some people live as if they had none and pay for it in their own way...often with loneliness..very cool way to approach this topic..would make for an excellent spoken word piece as well
On occasion we need to confront the 'grim' that we supress and ignore. Raw, gritty pieces like this help us to do so. Thanks Brian.
This is really good, Brian. I like that word epoch-calypso. We all get there to the end of our time, but rarely with such aplomb.
Yeah how important is it ?
If you're alone at home- singing aloud and dancing versus dishes and other duties- do it all!
Individual relativism at its finest. It's all about me and I don't care about the legacy. Hell o? btw, there wasn't enough wine with dinner last night. :)
There seemed to be some defiance here, but uninformed defiance at the same time.
I can hear you reading and shouting this at the other end of the line :-)
If we have no obligations, all of us will be running to the forests on foot, no cars, no loans. Sad to say we all have one or the other ~
"it's all a loan..." Frightening, how much of life this applies to. How you make me pause and consider, dig that.
I like your play on words in this. We all have to confront our duties and obligations at some point, even when we don't want to. If not, I'm afraid the consequences are too unbearable...
Love it a lot Brian!! You are magic with the words!
Vivid and sci-fantastic! I agree with Claudia, it would make an excellent spoken word piece/one man show.
Nice Brian...I'd give you my kingdom in trade for house keeping services...you know, help grow the empire...not that it's really mine to give, but I don't mind if you take the payment too ;) I think you probably know me well enough by now to know how much I loved this...but I did...just in case you don't. :) See you at the Pub!
I guess if you act like you don't need to do what you are obligated to do as part of the society, no one feel obliged to take you along. All alone and no one to answer, don't want to be asked to pick up this guy's laundry that's for sure!
epoch-calypso.... love that, and i also agree, i could "hear" this out loud all the way through...
a great introspection on life, love your truth.
Very eerie, Brian. It would be quite lonely as well as frightening to be the last one left at the end of time.
Life imposes its own obligations on us.
Yes! I think it may be the end of Men's kingdom-come - though not in much of the world.
(Can't quite say "ha" after that last bit.)
Great take on prompt. K.
Very robotic and echo-like... great feel to this one... epoch-calypso for sure. How scary it would be to be the only one left.
Have you ever read The Host by Stephenie Meyer? I think you'd like it.
How sad, to be the last one and realizing your life was a loan you wasted by not engaging with it - with all its responsibilities and duties. I like the sci-fi tone in this one. So creative.
It's eerily beautiful, Brian. I loved the play on words you used.
This piece is especially vocal, Brian.
"what's ur interest rate" ... I love this; where do your interests lie, and how will that affect the end of time? As we are just on loan, we'd better make the best of it all lest we end up alone outside the garden.
"cause & effect, burn the butterfly wings
before it splits the union with non linear, little things" ... Excellent message. Is this a nod to The Butterfly Effect? It is the little things that cause the greatest splits, the build-up of tension over irritations rubbing against one another.
Love the laughter in the middle of "wHAt."
Like the song reference to "You're Not the King of Anything."
Great messages, Brian. Words are powerful things. From one poem to the next, one book to the next, one song to the next, I can receive completely opposite messages and believe them both in the moment. Scary stuff, the matter of the mind and the ease with which it is altered.
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
Really a fascinating perspective here, brian--forced my barely-coffee-lubricated gears to start turning. You can only turn your back so far on others before you're turning it on yourself. (Love 'epoch---calypso' for the sound, esp--rolls off the tongue nicely...)
We could go back to a arboreal nuts & berries existence.
You first. ~Mary
What would that really be like, I wonder, I try to imagine. Hello, hello? We are constantly in touch in our lives today. To not have anyone to reach out to..... Weird.
No necessity, no obligation, whether first on board or last to jump, I remain as something borrowed, something lent, and thus by God am sent.
A few things He did not explain.
Alone or not,
a loan I got
with interest to be paid...
the principle is this:
spending it is bliss--
but consideration must be made.
I'm supposed to be practicing for a wedding later today--grin!!!
Bye--or buy!
PEACE!
Brian, let your son know that some day if he keeps writing like his dad those kids on the other team will be asking him for his autograph...
Wander
and that was one reason I ran track...one on one for the most part...
Great post. Love the angle you took. Very trippy. The whole concept has sci-fi theoretics written all over it, deep and flowing. Great read. Thanks
Last one at the end of time
At least for this go around chime
For humans will be back
But off track
Last one would suck
Might talk to a rubber duck
Or a volleball head
Wilson is supposedly well read
Just don't get kneecapped first
That would cause too much thirst
And then the last would be no more
And we'd have to wait for little fish thingys to once more crawl ashore
I thought we were talking real dinosaurs here, and then we get down to what really matter - the death, hopefully, of the cro-magnon dinosaur who refuses to take on the duties of the house. Two must play that game, and when it works the house stays together.
Many divorces occur because the people can't agree on the division of labor in the house, and they are these things that you mention, washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking, picking up, but also the harder stuff. Now, i am not perfect by any means, but those things are easiest, learned by living alone or bringing up my son.
You really carry out the social purpose of poetry so well, bringing it all back to reality, making the mundane as important as it should be.
Better than washing dishes eh!
Mine took a somber tone today for some reason too.
I could hear this guy, all flashy in his robot voice, and yet, I could also feel his despair at being alone too. Awww Poor man.
Great writing :)
"cause & effect, burn the butterfly wings
before it splits the union with non linear, little things
what do you want from me, wHAt"---
Brian said,"Karin of ManicDDaily is running the show in her first official day as a new pub tender for Poetics and is getting us to write on duty and obligation, and i took the obtuse view of feeling as if we had none and played it out to the extinction event. Pretty grim huh?"
[Hi! Brian,
I "jumped" over to d'Verse in order to get a sense in which you were going with your poetry and...
...Well, I think that you have accomplished what you set out to do in your poem......"Poetics: why the dinosaurs died & other extinction stories"
Tks, for sharing and the image too!
deedee ;-D
indeed, the why's of being the only being left on earth come through loud and clear... love the form (as always) of your poetry and
I AM THE MAN & I AM KING
of EVERYthing (& nothing
nothing
nothing)
and it's not just men or dinosaurs but all who think they are an island...
Haunting, Brian. All sorts or post apocalyptic images ride with your words. This is me, shivering a bit.
I think this would totally rock as spoken word! Very creative.
This is a very clever take on the prompt. I really think this is my favorite of your work thus far (though I haven't read everything) ...wonderfully creative stuff here...really enjoy the turn of phrases & word-play.
r.m. @ newviewfromhere.wordpress.com
Like Claudia mentioned, this has spoken word all over it. Fantastic piece, Brian.
Some GREAT word play here.
What else is new?
;)
Fantastic write, Brian. You nailed it with this one! Oh, almost forgot... BAM! Nice, my man; very nice!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/my-wheels-dont-turn/
Love this one... what a great imagination you have... I completely understand this, sending out calls for help, but no one answers and I am not the only one in my house...he he... as i read poetry and make breakfast for the sleep over kids...and oops the dishes! Great poem!
i like the concept of the transmission from the end of time. but we still have our HAVE TOs even then. bummer.
Cool poem, Brian. Everything we do (and don't do) does have its consequences, although we often prefer to pretend it doesn't.
This is duty calls of the best kind!
Ah, with dishes accumulating and burying you, you will soon be bug meal spectacular!
Epoch calypso -- wonderful!
I guess I played the extinction theme today too but from a different angle.
Love the idea of a transmission from the end of time.
Interesting that obligations keep the world moving. At some time or other we may find ourselves as the one last standing. But the fight never ends, Brian! Great write!
Hank
How do you think of these things.They're so well written amd every thought of i study and understood in order to write it as so. I just image it's easy for to just write such thought provoking works in a short time. Brilliant.
That is an awesome poem man, you got the gift.
"Is anyone lis-ning", I love that, Brian. I sometimes feel like that, lol.
Pamela
Amazing!
Remember, "not with a bang but a whimper" might be true...
And... I think that someone is listening.
how horrific it would be to remain the last one standing
Well, you can't imagine how much this de-lighted me! I was as happy as a sandmboy throughout, but these lines were extra de-lightful! Thanks for a fun start to the morning.
Loans, debts, I want it my way...and the beat goes on. I liked the rhythm of this one.
Well done
Hugs
SueAnn
And Brian, I have changed the address of my blog. It should like on my profile. Thanks Brian.
Our lives are on loan- who's the creditor? Time? Space? God? Depending in how you look at it- we have 'free' reign- supposedly- so our duty is to ourselves, to create our own lives and be obligated to being happy perhaps? You raise some BIG questions here buddy- you always make me think
where's the dinosaurs? iguess the mob rubbed them out
I AM THE MAN king of nothing ha ha ha love it! Slap me truth while writing of the fizzle of the BANG!
So spooky!!! And it's not even Halloween...
'Agree with Claudia. Would make for an excellent piece of performance poetry though I enjoyed reading it off the page too. People who feel they owe nothing often do pay in other ways. I guess nothing is free...at the end of the day.
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I love it ! :)
I love the rhythm of this; it sweeps the reader along like it's in mid-conversation and we already know what we need to know to participate. Then we're abandoned to that inner and outer voice moving. Excellent!
Clever stuff. More SF poetry I say
Love this! Reminds me a little of the great Twilight Zone episode where he finally has time to read, and then breaks his glasses. Good stuff.
whew!
"life, it's all a loan, as long as you're not there
when the interest comes due---"
me thinks you're paying it ahead with your karma brian ;-) and hope i'm doing same ;-)
Grim but gratifying, they're good thoughts to be thunk here. Makes us face what we're up to and who we're being thoughtful about or not. Smiles to you, Brian!
Fascinating foray into the psyche of
many poor man-dingos, socialized
into some unrealistic state, not truly
knowing when happiness is biting them
on the ass, and when to leave well
enough alone, and of course a man
like this will only hang onto a mate
as a victim, one who has a poor self
image, who allows the lie to live on.
Intense and vivid. I really liked it!
Ties that bind (can) keep us true -- the obligations of love are a paradoxical freedom, where the license we take in freedom usually spirals down the same damned drain. And no matter how much we'd like to sing whatever we damned well please, without the binds to custom, to habit, to obligation, it's like a big toe without a ligament -- a useless lolling tongue.
Brian, nice wordplay (big fan of that)...captured the incredible loneliness of a sole (soul?) survivor. Vb
We are making species go extinct more rapidly than ever before. And in doing so, will do ourselves in as well.
Excellent and such a picture... I love it - especially your play on words: a loan, de-lighting! Man is indeed the cause of his own downfall!
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