Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Sequences & Ratios III


God hates gays, they are all going to hell, his bomb drops in class,
regardless of shrapnel, This is how i was raised, so this is how it is,
and nothing you can say can ever make a difference.

And at fourteen, he's secure in his conviction, force fed ignorance,
by the same man who froze his dog in the ice box, before burning him.
Trust no one, because you are the only one you can depend on, and difference
is just another reason to the son of the sun, on whose back he beats on.

We both lean on the edge of a plexiglas box, full of pledges
people make at the end of the Holocaust museum. Unable to speak,
with nothing needing to be spoken, raw and reeling, laid open
by witnessing just what the seeds planted within of him are saying
when allowed to germinate.

His body rocks with contractions at what is being birthed
in the broken places and he can't fill his lungs with air fast enough
to fight the clench of held breath when the epiphany, a stuttering utterance
equivalent to a keening wail of how wrong he is and what he was taught
vomits forth in an endless stream on my shoulder as i hug him.

It's going to be ok, i repeat, over and over again until the storm of emotion
abates and in the box before us, mixed in among the other promises made
in the face of such an ugly truth, one girl the same age as him spelled it:

I pledge to remind me everday I am beutiful.

And the difference is, now he is beginning to see it too.

Closing out the story of my trip to DC, by bringing in the whole reason i took my friend in the first place. Connecting the Sequences and Ratios. Thanks for taking the hard road with me.

Tagged into Theme Thursday and Imperfect Prose.

80 comments:

kaykuala said...

Brian,
It gets to be that. One plays the part of solace, a shoulder for others to cry on.On occasions one gets called upon.Great verse!

Hank

kaykuala said...

Wow..wee! never thought I made it first.

Hank

Caty said...

So glad he has a friend like you, one that lets him see the other side of hate...

Daydreamertoo said...

A tough write and even tougher subject. You covered it extremely well Brian. One day (maybe) just maybe we will all awaken to the fact that hatred is all born from fear and fear of damnation has always worked wonders since they first invented religion. If I ever have to state a case against homophobia I've always made the point that: certain animals, like, dogs, apes and such, do not know it is against God's laws to have same sex relations, they just do what they do because they do what nature tells them is okay to do. Plants and certain fish, begin as male, change sex to female as and when they must and so on and so on. They don't follow any rules that God states they must, they follow what nature needs for them to do so, why must God's laws only apply to humans? We are still an animal species after all is said and done.
We humans get so much, so wrong and cause so much suffering in the name of someone who would not even ask it of us if we were to truly question all of the 'whys'
It's been a hard time for you but, one that has left an undeniable footprint in your heart and whose message you will continue to share now with whomever you meet that needs to hear it.
Brian, you are a fabulous guy with a wonderful empathy and compassion for others.
An amazing write for a really tough story whose horrors needs to never be forgotten.

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

The cracks in the box of a closed mind... very well written Brian.

Stephanie said...

This sounds like a very difficult day..

Kavita said...

A work worthy of an applause, my friend...
Ughhhhhh....hatred... I , well.... I hate it !


Oh..btw, i remember you telling me about my name being a new x-men character... Guess what?! I too discovered this quite recently..a few days before you could tell me... And was super amused by it... :))
Funny me mentioning the outcast x-men exactly in the comments for this particular poem...

Brandee Shafer said...

Sometimes you can't tell someone they're wrong, but you can show them. You're wise and kind, and I'm proud to (kind of) know you.

Titanium said...

With your actions, you've given him the gift of knowing that the sum of all the parts is greater than the whole.

Laurie Kolp said...

How wonderful that you were able to be there for him when the floodgates opened.

JeannetteLS said...

Brian, thank you for giving the young man this gift, and then giving us one in these last two entries. I do not know how to express how much this moved me or in what ways.

Your writing has exquisite AND horrifying power. And you use it so well, with such love and compassion.

And we get to benefit from those words time and time again. I don't know you OR your wonderful family, yet I keep thinking of you as a friend.

Difficult journeys often yield the most beauty beyond the ugliness. Breathe deeply the air around you and your family, my friend. Thank you.

drybottomgirl said...

I've said it before and I will say it again. You my friend our one precious gift from God. The truth of this made me cry, real tears, and that's ok.....:-)

tony said...

It is Freezing here in Yorkshire tonight.Strange to think that ,in some peoples hearts, It's much much colder....Mighty Prose Here Brian.

Mary said...

People like you do a lot to overcome the hatred that is so rampant in the world, Brian!

Ed Pilolla said...

well, i read this one first, and i'm not necessarily unhappy i did. it stood alone. what a scene.

Fred Rutherford said...

Really handled brilliantly. This is another exceptional piece, worthy of praise indeed. Great job brian.

Teri M said...

I'm glad your friend can see things a little differently now...there are a lot of people who love and accept unconditionally in this world. I just wish we were all more vocal about it so we could drown out the haters...

Fireblossom said...

My word.

Pat Hatt said...

You handled it grand
Giving a helping hand
To help see another view
And not the one bashed into his head by a select few
And look at daydreamer giving the facts
On all kinds of acts

Claudia said...

...and you helped him open his eyes...see that's what i say..you're living greatness and you need no rolex at all to do so.. just saying..smiles

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"God hates gays, they are all going to hell, his bomb drops in class,
regardless of shrapnel..."


Hi! Brian...

"and nothing you can say can ever make a difference."

Thanks, for closing the circle and...
"and the difference is, now he is beginning to see it too."

I [hope] that you made a difference in his life...too!
[Note: I think so!]

Thank-you, for sharing your journey!
deedee :-D

Grace said...

You made me cry yesterday with your Part 2.

Now as I read this, I am still teary eyed but I am smiling. I am always hopeful that things will turn out for the best ~

Great post as always ~

(Edit: I am *beautiful*)

kweschn said...

Very powerful piece, Brian!!! I really like it!

Cheers,

Dolly@ Soul Stops said...

Thank you for being there to help open this young man's heart to love...thank you, Brian, for letting us peek in...

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

What a trip Brian! Meaningful and painful and healing all in one.

"This is how I was raised and this is how it is"....resonates with me...I am just NOW coming to terms with how I feel about things...NOT taking on the beliefs of others but formulating my OWN...deep stuff...

happygirl said...

The only thing able to combat hate is... relationship. Thanks for taking the time to grow a relationship. Beautiful.

Tara Miller said...

This makes me cry - and wish I could hug him too. We are all broken, but also need to be there to help each other heal when the wound is gaping open...as you are with him. I. love. you.

♥ dulce ♥ said...

Great tribute to friendship, Brian!

Sue said...

What a gift.

=)

Pauline said...

That one can come to a better place after being in the Holocaust Museum is a tribute to what is right after learning what is so wrong in mankind. It's good you were there, and better that you shared.

Nimue said...

this touched me .. you give so much meaning to each of your post .. awesome as always ..

Tabor said...

We do so fear and then re-mold into hate that which we do not understand. some try to put themselves in others shoes, but sometimes the shoes are so weird that we cannot bear to keep them on that long. We have to teach how to really see.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Lovely. Truly lovely.

Anyes said...

How powerful to be there with him when this epiphany occurred.

..."This is how I was raised, so this is how it is"...From one generation to another hate can be transmitted. You show us here that understanding and love can also take its place and you witnessed it. So inspiring, thank you Brian.

ayala said...

You have given him a great gift..the gift of knowledge..and truth and so much more. A great write, powerful and it hits us straight in the heart.

Lisa Golden said...

I have no words except to thank you for sharing this.

RMP said...

quite an intense and striking write from the first line to the last. it's hard sometimes to dispell the "truths" ingrained in us. it definetly take a kind and patient soul to help guide someone to awaken from such "truth."

Ravenblack said...

I really feel like crying myself, reading that.

Magpie said...

I'm glad you were there to guide your friend and that his heart was opened to receive the message.

Manicddaily said...

A wonderful story. I am from DC. I haven't visited the Holocaust Museum, but, of course, have been to the Vietnam Memorial many times, and have visited Museum of Jewish People here in NYC.

I think young people really do not know very much history As you describe, must be pretty shocking to see photos, footage, mementos, that let you know life is not as you thought it. K.

hedgewitch said...

It's always a jarring world-shaking event when we learn how small our world has been and how much is out there we haven't even dreamed of, good and evil. Powerful tale here brian, and the last lines are what it's all about for the damaged, which, after all, is all of us--only the extent and the shape differs.

Wander said...

Brian, I felt before that you were a gifted writer; I was wrong, you are so much more then gifted. This piece is brilliant! The way you weave this scared past together with so few words then bring it to such an overwhelming and brutally emotional ending was like my soul getting punched in the gut. Not only could I feel the pain, I was brought back to every painful life changing realization I have ever had…in the space of two lines! This was the most profound piece I have read in some time, thank you!

Wander

Cloudia said...

you turn life into poetry-
as it should be done, Bri




Warm Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

emily wierenga said...

His body rocks with contractions at what is being birthed
in the broken places


brian... there is spiritual warfare in this... brother, know God is with you, and empowering you to keep on serving the broken. don't stop, okay? but rest, deep, and let him minister to you. the world needs you. e.

Sheila said...

Just read all three parts. I like the progression from one to the other. The first, a simple and light observation. The second, gut wrenching floods of emotion (and rightly so) the third brought me back to the present and ended with a changed view - one less hater. I assume that made the trip worth it. Thanks for sharing it.

Cinner said...

Amazing journey Brian, glad you are you and that you share your wisdom.

SueAnn said...

And it is a hard road!
The hate and ignorance that is being taught to some of our youth is frightening. I weep
Hugs
SueAnn

LadyFi said...

So beautiful! Hope your friend's epiphany is a lovely one.

Valerie said...

You certainly know how to stir the emotions, Brian.

Dave King said...

Unable to speak,
with nothing needing to be spoken, raw and reeling, laid open
by witnessing just what the seeds planted within of him are saying
when allowed to germinate.

For me this is the key, and yes, it was a hard road, but an unforgettable experience for those of us who were but going along for the ride - and feeling helpless in the process - but God knows what it was like for you.

That some fantastic art came out of it must seem - is - almost irrelevant. Except, of course, it isn't irrelevant at all!

Birdie said...

i'm sure this experience you offered to him will change him forever ... great job Brian!

Lorraine said...

I cry when you write, because I know

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

Ohh that is so deep. You made me cry .

the walking man said...

Cracking an eggshell is simple, a hearts shell not so much.

Lisa notes... said...

As you walk alongside your friend, we walk too. Thanks, Brian.

CiCi said...

You are friend enough to walk alongside when someone works through difficult feelings. You didn't try to do it for him, but you were there for him.

Nancy said...

This is a very important post.

JStar said...

That box that others live in is sad...

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Just so moving.. You put it all so well!

Myrna R. said...

It's wonderful that you loved your friend enough, to show him the irrationality of hate.

Thank you, for taking us on this trip.

becca givens said...

A powerful conclusion for an extremely difficult and raw sequence ... thank you for allowing God to use you as the conduit to your friend ... now, may the healing begin!

Tara said...

your words allow us to minister love and prayers upon the broken, too. Bless you for this.

Mama Zen said...

Incredible writing, Brian.

Anonymous said...

I'm here, reading, but with no words. My reply is [silence].

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Matt Shedd said...

Truth and love have an amazing way of destroying the holds of hate.

Thank you.

Gloria said...

aaah really nice Brian, you always make us think, you are a really nice friend:))

Friko said...

This has been a seriously mind bending experience. You have faced the horror squarely and put it into words.

adeeyoyo said...

Parents burden their children with their prejudices and fears... You said it so well, describing the poor boy's anguish! And it is true, fear breeds hatred.

Becca said...

Good job Brian! wish i have a friend like you. Who is there no matter what the life may us bring.
Love it!!!

Daniel said...

You know, my experience is that transitions and major changes do not happen in an instant. They usually stretch over many seasons, many years. Here, we see the notion of an awakening. Every sense is heightened and emotions bubble to the surface. Beautiful to be a part of isn't it?

sharmishtha said...

if we realize this truth, we all are beautiful, even if others fail to see that beauty life changes for better, i so agree with you brian.

Goofball said...

he will be allright. Thank you

Syd said...

I think that he can overcome his force fed ignorance. The softening of the heart can occur once he learns to love himself. He is still young enough to overcome a lot.

The Holocaust Museum is enough to move anyone to tears. It was a gut-wrenching experience for me. And I have not forgotten what I saw there.

Mrsupole said...

Hard to believe that so many people nowadays think the Holocaust never happened.

What is even sadder is that there are Holocaust that still go on in other nations. Sure the players are different but the game is the same, wipe out those who we do not want to exist on this planet. Egypt is trying to wipe out the Christians, along with Iran, Iraq and many other Muslim countries.

Why is it so hard to accept each other as we are and what we believe.

Brian the world needs more people like you to set an example of loving thy neighbor as one would love themselves.

May the angels always watch over you.

God bless.

sheila said...

Wonderfully written. Beautiful epiphany. :)

CherylK said...

"Force fed ignorance"...that's exactly what it is is too many cases. So sad.

tracy said...

Thanks for letting us tag along, Brian.

Other Mary said...

Wow, I almost couldn't finish this Brian. Really powerful.

william said...

sadly even in this day and age there are still bigots, well written Brian we have to accept people the way they are unconditionally, well said.

Yousei Hime said...

Your writing and your heart are humbling ... and lovely. smiles