Wednesday, February 29, 2012

brown bag lunch on a park bench to the world


the sun sits, an over easy egg in the sky. the sky a little brown at the edges from too much time in the skillet. the skillet of mid day, and i don't remember what i had for breakfast. the day is passing too fast, forward, but jerky, stop motion clay-mation in the hands of an amateur.

the park bench eats divots in the back of my legs with fresh edges. i keep moving them, regaining circulation. a new bench, unworn as of yet, no one has slept on it, or not enough to create a cushion. pigeons amble in the dirt and grass in search of bread crumbs, their purple green neck sheen catches the sitting sun.

a man in duct taped shoes, low top cons, brown now over a darker color, lounges under a tree. the cracks of its bark pronounced, rounding knots, limbs once. his hoodie hood pulled over his eyes, hair spills around his stubble cheek, snarled and slick, tan, blond. his fingers carry yesterday in their lines, a picture, hung on nails framed in black.

kids slide and run back around, squeals of joy & laughter trail them, round. their mothers talk in huddles, pointing fingers, each word a gesture. new life swims inside one. a dog runs on the green hill behind them, loose its leash followed close by a man. running man, in a suit, afraid he'll be late for the future if he doesn't catch up.

joggers jog, rainbows in short slick shorts and stretchy shorts, jog black rubberized paths, so not to wear out the knees. a butterfly. bird song. bees. my brown bag crinkles as i crush it, jump shot the receptacle and sit, like the sun sits, just, shining, even though the rain is coming. flowers turn their heads, in secret wisdom.

hush---

look
     & listen.

My friend Mary, has challenged us at the Jam to write in repetition. While more pronounced in the opening para, i tried to weave some subtly throughout.

76 comments:

Anne said...

I can picture the whole scene with your word painting today Brian and feel the sun on my face and hear the sound of the paper bag as you crumple it and shoot for the bin. I'm thinking of Spring and the simple pleasures of life that bring contentment our way.

lifeisaroadtrip said...

This is a typical Brian Miller piece - thought provoking, descriptive, takes you through the full gamut of emotions leaving you a little drained but wanting more.

Sue said...

Boy, can you paint a picture.

=)

Manicddaily said...

Each paragraph is in fact enough. (I say that in a good way.) K.

Gloria said...

This is really nice Brian!(lol)

Bonnie said...

... so brian ... so attentive to what is right in front of you ...
makes my cells spin a little faster ... when i stop and let you describe a piece of life for me.

Loved the phrase: "...his fingers carry yesterday in their lines, a picture, hung on nails framed in black." WOW!!!

Tara Miller said...

I love the picture you painted with your words...full of life and a peaceful day sitting on the bench. You know, looking out at the world, and seeing the blessings everywhere around us does indeed give one a fresh outlook on the day and can make our woes disappear, if only briefly.

Myrna R. said...

I felt like I was sitting right next to you as I read this. The picture is perfect and so full of peace. It allowed my mind some soft contemplation. Beautiful write Brian.

turtlememoir said...

oh, how I love this writing, master of observation coupled with this wonderful facility for putting words together in unexpected ways...
the sun, over easy egg in the sky, and that extended metaphor;
flowers turn their heads, in secret wisdom;
his fingers carry yesterday in their lines, a picture, hung on nails framed in black.
brilliant!

Pat Hatt said...

A nice peaceful leap day
Here at your bay
Your gawker powers were in over drive
As you make it come alive
If the park bench is big enough I'll share
If not the cat may be greedy so beware..haha

janaki nagaraj said...

Such vivid description...very beautiful.

Steve E said...

...so Brian, you scored 3 points in the receptacle! What else is going on? (BIG GRINNNN!)

Outstanding!
PEACE!

Rebecca S. said...

The last line of the first stanza describes my day yesterday to a tee.
I have seen that man in the hoodie in many places around here, and always wonder, "what is his story?"
Your poem today is like a John Singer Sargent painting :)

CiCi said...

A wonderful lunch time in the park observing and resting. It is a wonder to me how many people rush here and there without really "being" anywhere.

Geraldine said...

thanks for sharing a part of your day with us Brian. I really enjoyed reading this. Great imagery!

Valerie said...

Oh this is wonderful writing. I was there, living the scene through your words. Well done and thank you.

Daniel said...

You really do see things with eyes quite different from mine. Loved the feel and pacing of this one.

AmyLK said...

So descriptive. Such a wonderful scene to watch unfold as I read down the page. :)

Laurie Kolp said...

So vivid that I felt as if I were sitting on the bench beside you. What's for lunch?

Oh, and I love the ending!

Mary said...

Wonderful description, Brian! I feel as if I was right there enjoying the park, the park bench, and spring. I enjoyed your use of repetition as well! (It is so amazingly warm here today that I could almost go out and experience a similar scene!)

Mama Zen said...

I can see this so clearly!

Adam said...

the joy of parks

Claudia said...

ok i need a bench now... so much to like here.. the sky with brown edges from too much time in the skillet of mid day, the fingers carrying yesterday in their lines and the flowers turning their heads...i like...and in case you saw a woman running, in a suit, afraid to be late for whatever...it was i...ha..see..i need a bench..

Rae said...

Enjoyed the lovely description and virtual park outing.

Peter Greene said...

Repetition is sometimes a key to things...adds perhaps an element of song

Josh Hoyt said...

I wish I took more time to just be quit and listen and watch more.

Stephanie said...

"...afraid he'll be late for the future" Oh how this spoke to me today!!

Baur said...

Wow you are so good with imagery!

RD said...

a word can carry us forward
forward
carried with words
we see where you have been
how have you been...

sittin' on a fence
repeat

and rinse

Peace

Jenny Woolf said...

Oh this is wonderfully descriptive, I can absolutely see it all because of the small details (and yes, repetitions) that you pile up one after the other.

Fred Rutherford said...

cool piece, love the intermingling of observation and perception here. Really nicely displayed. Thanks

Lisa notes... said...

There's nothing you can't do with words, Brian. They're your playground. Thanks for letting us come over to play in it.

Helen said...

'clay-mation' ... what a neat word. Neat poem too.

Daydreamertoo said...

A mazing!

I wish we could see some 'green on a hill here or enough to see the birds dig at the grass. We just had another snow storm to dig out from. No green here for a while yet.
I love how you see your world Brian. It's sometimes surreal, sometimes rough and raw but it's all so honest in its poetical voiced truth.
Lovely. :)

lori said...

This absolutely beautiful, Brian. Love this one :)

Vicky said...

As I sink into your words the repetition catches and I find myself reading the words out loud to hear the experience as well as see it. But then joy of all joys as I continue on, I not only see and hear, but smell and taste and I am right there with you by the time it ends...

breathtakingly awesome... thank you!

Lisa Golden said...

I read your poetry and think How does he do that? It's emotion, it's the five senses. It's music, story, and paint.

Grace said...

I like you took us right there with you, sitting in the park bench and watching the man, children, mothers, joggers, birds and bees.

I want to look and listen ~

Beautiful ~

And thanks for your visit in my blog during the Haiku Challenge. I appreciate your support.

flaubert said...

Yes, Brian, I see what you mean. I love this! Were we in the same place?

Pamela

Caty said...

your ability of observation is amazing, and someone said "word painting" which is exactly what you did here. I think this has to be one of my recent favorites :)

Betsy said...

such a relaxing picture...felt like I've been there!~

Jyoti Mishra said...

the most amazing thing about your posts is the way u make reader connect with your life :)

Lunch on a park bench... lots of memories surfaced !!

Missed u :)

Raven said...

I do not know why, and it may not even be appropriate, but this has left me feeling sad ... sort of gray and brown. Nice write.

Whosyergurl said...

Do I sound dumb to always tell you how much I love what you've written? I love this. My favorite line "his fingers carry yesterday in their lines."
You have a voice, Brian. Quite a voice.
Cheryl

Fragrant Liar said...

Your prose always impresses me as a part poetry. As always, very provocative and engaging. Good on ya.

TALON said...

You always make me feel like I'm sitting right with you, watching the world go by, Brian.

Peggy said...

Another vivid description. Both thoughtful and descriptive. Thanks for visiting my blog too.

Susie Clevenger said...

The sun sits, an over easy egg in the sky..love that description. I too like to sit on a park bench and observe life around me. There is so much being spoken in image and movement. There is so much imagery in this piece...Nice work

Victoria said...

You are so GOOD Brian. I just eat up your images, all the colors and textures of jogging attire, the man in the suit chasing the future, the life swimming within one of the mothers on the playground - all of it so real and from a unique perspective - things I see but haven't thought of quite that way. WOW!

Alex Dissing said...

All else has already been told. Great stuff, Brian.

Lydia said...

I'm thinking you should write a screenplay, Brian. See ya at the Academy Awards........

Lorraine said...

amazing you, entertain me away from my problems. I like that ;)

SueAnn said...

Beautiful poem, Brian. So rich with word pictures...sculptural for sure. Full of color and light
Hugs
SueAnn

the walking man said...

I'd get myself brown after my lunch from taking a nap on the bench 'til a cop in dark blue came along and used his stick to hit the place on the bottom of my shoe where my foot pokes through. "Let me see your ID (check) Move it along NOW!"

Dave King said...

This does it for me. I had a look at the challenge and I'm still thinking about it. Excellent work.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Nice! Duct tape works for everything, doesn't it?
Tina had mentioned you, so thought I'd stop by and say hey.

Syd said...

A picture of an urban park. You shot it with words. I would shoot it with a camera, especially the fellow with the duct taped shoes. Nice.

Zuzana said...

Dear Brian, I am back from my short brake, trying to catch up with all my favorite bloggers.;)
This piece put a smile on my face and yes, I noticed the repetitions.;) It also speaks of spring to me somehow.;) I love the last two words, that is exactly what we ought to do, at all times.;)
Hope you have been well dear friend,
xoxo

George said...

This is a great poem, Brian, well-crafted but intuitive, an exercise in mindfulness that reminds us of how life can only be found and experienced now, this moment, this day, this place.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

You JAM PACKED a ton of stuff into that lunch!
People watching...NEVER a dull moment.

william said...

lol, yes what a coincidence, however you make it sound a lot more complicated, which is a good thing, for the reader, loved this and almost felt I was there ;)

Jeanne Iris said...

Wonderful imagery that resonates from scene to scene, yet interwoven beautifully.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I've forgotten how enjoyable it can be to just be outside and observe life around us.

Pranavam Ravikumar a.k.a. Kochuravi said...

one or the other, i always get something wen i leave from here. great work.. thanks.. prayers...

LadyFi said...

So descriptive and lovely!

Reena Walkling said...

sitting right there with you ... great images.
Love the running man in suit

adeeyoyo said...

Brilliant word picture, Brian. I love '...man. running man, in a suit, afraid he'll be late for the future if he doesn't catch up.'
The repetitions too are musical reminders in places.

Luke Prater said...

Interesting experiment. Rep is one of my fave aural devices but I don't find it as powerful in prose. Nevertheless you write it well

Lolamouse said...

Brian,
I love how you can take such a simple moment and get so much out of it. You make me remember to open my eyes and ears to the world and APPRECIATE. thanks.

Carrie Burtt said...

You do see life throught the eyes of a writer Brian. Love this! ;-)

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Brian, there were moments which popped for me - your description of the green and blue of the pigeons brought back memories of Central Park. The repetition was only noticeable with the hoodie hood; other than that, I found this a pleasing, well-rounded slice of a morning. Also, the egg reference to the sun and sky, LOVED IT! Amy

Magpie said...

You always meet these challenges with creativity and skill.

The Bug said...

I like the fingers carrying yesterday & the flowers with their secret wisdom - but what I really need is to find a place with rubberized walking paths!

myheartslovesongs said...

"the rain is coming. flowers turn their heads, in secret wisdom."

no one can capture "real life" the way you do, brian! it's not just the brilliance of your writing... it's how you notice all the details.

LOVE it! {smile}

sharmishtha said...

loved the title of the blog and the remaining :)

you are a wonderful story teller brian

Mystic_Mom said...

This is a Hopper painting in poetry Brian...I love this! LOVE!