Saturday, January 28, 2012

Poetics: blue balls & wrist watches

found graffiti

Live for greatness, the ad for Rolex
on the back of Travel & Leisure

          whispers

soft fingers along my ear & her
fierce eyes thumb through my book
scent marking each page, dress cut
below glossy breasts, just a hint

and what? what?
        she wants to sell me

           a time piece, no

because who needs a mortgage
just to tell time, never be late but
its moments---she pedals,

a bike down a dirt lane, tires on pebbles
grind and skritch, green grass lined, the sun
beams bubble, her short floral dress, wisp
of wind & her legs tan as fried chicken
with promises of secret ingredients, sticky
finger lickin', running them slow along
the length with her tongue

        greatness

she teases, taps the crystal face as hands count
d
  o
    w
       n until she's gone,
                      a slow dancing vapor, gasping
flower unfurled damp & heady,
            entwined round
                      a pole, upside down and sliding,
           of what
could have been if---

only i wore a watch, but my wrist is empty
of such constraints, acidic coffee krinkles
the corner of my eyes as i take the last sip,
savoring its bite, then rise from the bench,
cross the tile floor, trash the cup & head
for the door

           leaving greatness

by where i sat, to shine
                        for someone
                                           else.


Over at dVerse Poets today, Sheila has brought in Karin from ManicDaily to stir the 'currents under' our poetry prompt for poetics today. Hehe. Should be a fun go. Doors open at 3 pm EST.

Also linking to Poetry Jam.

83 comments:

Tabor said...

I am afraid the graphic you posted kept me from really keep my mind on your poem. Was a sad, sad, work of art.

Valerie said...

leaving greatness

by where i sat, to shine
for someone
else.

Great ending. You brought the whole scene to life for me. Brilliant.

Anne said...

From "her fierce eyes thumbed through my book" you set a pounding erotic tone that drove through this piece. "Tanned like fried chicken" just great food and the erotic, makes me think of 9 1/2.

Grace said...

"only i wore a watch, but my wrist is empty
of such constraints"

sometimes we can't see or do such noble stuff because we are saddled with obligations and stuff to do.

have an amazing day ~ safe travel ~

kaykuala said...

Time for greatness so says Rolex
One of the few carrying the flag
Time-pieces rarely seen these days
Gadgets in h/ps take their place

Hank

the walking man said...

And all of a sudden we now know why there was a frenzy for Rolex watches. It was all brought on by Madison Avenue.

Jaysus if these and I mean all these huge ass corporations want my money if they advertised less maybe they would reduce the price and instead of a mortgage I could have a Rolex for a car payment.

Dude wrong day to go to DC, you can't do any lobbying on Saturday they are all on the rubber chicken circuit now...seriously though try not to weep at the Holocaust Museum.

Tara Miller said...

Have to read this one again. The visual I got after the first time was more of temptation. Is that the undercurrent story? Talk of "greatness" and better things when in actuality, there lies temptation. Not sure

ManicDdaily said...

Very well done! Clever and evocative, and you are definitely not under-reading that ad! Many wonderful lines and images-=who needs a mortgage just to tell time, and I love the legs tan as fried chicken, secret ingredients (although I confess to a bit of worry about scabs.) (Ha.)

Also coffee krinkles in eyes and pole dancing, of course; you spin back and forth from the surface moment very deftly (as you always do.)

Only correction--I am ManicDdaily - with an extra D in the middle for you know what. I should probably have hyphenated it to make it clearer, but one of those things one would just as soon slip by.

Claudia said...

ha--these ads are clever-- they hit us at weak points cause who wouldn't want to live greatness?? but hey--it would be way too easy if it could be done by just buying a watch (of course i have to add, as it is a swiss brand, i'm quite a bit patriotic about their quality...and quality it is)--as is in your writing.. and the good thing..you're already living greatness bri, for example by taking this boy to the museum today. have a great day...and shine...smiles

ayala said...

:) Ha....great lines here.
Have a safe trip. The holocaust museum is amazing!

Daniel said...

Love the pacing and images of this one. Twas beautiful. Hope you have/had a great day.

DJan said...

Sex sells. It always has, but it doesn't appeal to everyone the same way, since we are so different. I don't think I've ever had blue balls, unless it was at Christmas. :-)

Evocative poem, though. I hope you "enjoy" the Holocaust Museum and write a poem about it.

JennyMac said...

WOW....this is fantastic.

tracy said...

Oh my. Who knew an ad for a watch could turn into such eroticism? Maybe you should go to work for Madison Avenue, Brian!

(PS I'm trying to catch up!)

Mary said...

Leaving greatness to shine for someone else: A lot to think about in those words. We all pass greatness on in our own ways, hopefully and live a life of greatness in our own way. Enjoy your day, Brian.

Magpie said...

Wow! Some advertising guy got his money's worth out of her picture. :)
Enjoy your time spent with a friend.

Betsy said...

Oh, this was clever. Advertising is a science, or psychiatry, or art...or all of the above.

Pat Hatt said...

You picked apart the advertising indeed
Making it more erotic then many who read
But now I know why you gawk so much
You have no watch so with time you are a tad out of touch..haha

Daydreamertoo said...

Pheeeeew! Very hot, very sensual... need a cold shower now... Hahaha
Love the word play, the under currents to what is really happening. The realism behind the words.
Another fabulous write from you!~!
Have a great day, I would imagine where you are going will leave its mark in your mind for a long time to come. Not an easy thing to see or, feel.

Myrna R. said...

I was enthralled with this one, by the words and the story, the way you brought about familiar feelings and thoughts. You can read a lot into it, about time, constraints, greatness and false symbols of greatness, like a rolex watch.

(By the way, I really like the graffiti. What a work of art.)

Sue said...

Wow. That was an erotic little mind trip before he came to his senses...

There's "greatness" and there's greatness.

Well done, Brian.

=)

Christine said...

great write, hope your time in DC is memorable, we were there last summer, hoping to read your impression on it all

hedgewitch said...

This is just an excellent piece, Brian--one of your best I've read. Everything in it works--from the underlying message to the way the words skirl down the page. Ads promise everything and deliver nothing, unlike poetry, which is kind of the opposite.

Anonymous said...

This is masterful poetry, your spacing, your visual technique and word/letter manipulation, the "slant" you create to emphasize a slanted way of thinking, her twisted reach inside you to make you "buy that watch."

I love this part:
"her
fierce eyes thumb through my book
scent marking each page" ... I can almost smell the heady perfumes wafting out of the magazine.

"legs tan as fried chicken" ... What a creative use of color! And this whole cutout section, the imagination running away with you for a second. Excellent.

It's a good thing we all have cell phones to tell us the time. :)

Have fun at the museum today.

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

I think the accompanying image shows two options: opening the eyes wide and closing them. The piece is about the fact that "sex sells." The speaker is wisely choosing to put down the magazine and walk away; in the image, the arrow is pointing to the person covering his eyes ... although, the hands are see-through, perhaps illustrating that even when you close your eyes, your mind still retains the image to a certain degree.

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Laurie Kolp said...

Amazing how a magazine ad can lead to this... so vivid and real (as always)! I especially like the ending.

Hope you had fun with your friend.

Nimue said...

I can never get enough of reading your words.. you teach , inspire and so much amaze me every time ,.. this was crafty.

Anyes said...

I had to read it twice, loved it both time and understood it better the second time around.

All the mind images this ad got to evoke! very sensual taking us so many places. I love the way your words always dance, Brian.

Mama Zen said...

I love the imagery in this, Brian. Gorgeous stuff!

Glenn Buttkus said...

For a moment I thought I was
reading one of Claudia's steamy
poems; great clouds of lust lingering
over your latte, sir. I found the perfect
Rolex erotic image to be the header
over you superb poetics.

RD said...

the title...good God man !!!...hooked me just so I could see how the heck they meshed...HA

no time is so valuable
as to lose your time for

Peace

Bengts fotoblogg said...

Great post, very cool.

Sheila said...

your writing is always filled with great undercurrents. love it!

jen revved said...

This feels like a loosened up, let your hair down and associate freely poem and it works beautifully! It is up to the poets to interpret the events, the moments, the epiphanies, the incongruities et al in how we perceive the world and this poem does it so well. Regarding what I said a week ago: it would be easier to comment on your work if one did not have to scroll down through a myriad of comments. I think there is a setting in the comment gadget where you can have the phrase: jump to comment form. since you are blessed w/so many readers, you might want to consider that! xxxxj BTW I told Sheila I'd be happy to do a Poetics prompt sometime-- you guys ought to use me as I have much teaching experience and would like to be part of it. haha-- I just saw your title! How did I miss that. xxxj

Sweeter said...

Who needs a watch after this?
Great poem Brian

Other Mary said...

Brilliant! That's just perfect!

Nick Rolynd said...

Your forms get me every time! Great piece!

turtlememoir said...

Whew! I could feel the undercurrents here and was glad the "I" escaped them. Loved "who needs a mortgage
just to tell time" - oh yeah... (and suddenly glad I don't have one - ah, don't wear a watch either... smiles)

pandamoniumcat said...

I really like it's moments she pedals... really well done i enjoyed the rthymn of this piece and the style.

Natasha Head said...

Tan like fried chicken! (sorry, loved that particular reference) but if greatness is to be measured in seconds by the instrument you took out a mortgage to buy...well, would have impressed me once, if I am to be honest..but I did eventually grow up. ;)

mairmusic said...

You are a consummate storyteller, my friend. Mystery trails this one enticingly.

zongrik said...

this is a great line - who needs a mortgage just to tell time

but anyway, when i first started reading, i was wondering if she was interested in "your" book at all. then i thought of the book i'm currently reading. i'm tutoring a kid who has reading problems, so i'm reading a book on Dyslexia, and i was wondering, would the she in this poem like it if the "you" in the poem were reading about dyslexia....she wouldn't even get it. LOL!!!

Goofball said...

I'm watchless since 13 years now. It's amasing how many time displays are around us constantly , not even counting our mobile phone

Fred Rutherford said...

Excellent write Brian, definitely see the undercurrents. Fine piece, especially love how you tied the opening to the close with the time reference, hope you have a nice time in DC. Thanks

Someone is Special said...

Do you wish to give a name to this form of poem or work? Beautiful, 'She teases, taps the crystal face as hands count d
o
w
n

.....love your work..

Someone is Special

Charles Miller said...

Your satire cuts both ways, yourself as well as the she of the poem. What is the time, I wonder, a moment of missed opportunity, impending age, the allure of the secret?

All this you caught on tape, and I salute your honesty for saying it, and the wonderful way you say it, but don't tell my wife!

Found this intriguing, that primitive animal act we are barely ever aware of, but which defines us a lot, no doubt:

scent marking each page, dress cut
below glossy breasts, just a hint

Reena Walkling said...

You have a way of putting me right there in the magazine ad ...
Well done Brian.

Jannie Funster said...

Agreed on the words skirling down the page here. Magnificent piece. And perfect sad art.

xo

oceangirl said...

This is quite an undercurrent with a beautiful relief. Sometimes I want to just live at two hairs past a freckle.

adeeyoyo said...

I loved this poem, Brian, the play on words and double meanings... you are so good at this!

Margaret said...

I read this poem three times.... and I see it as temptations resisted... He longs for a watch, an old childhood crush (adore ... tanned like fried chicken) and obviously he's been in a "gentlemen's club (the pole)
but I see him walking away from all this... but maybe I didn't read it correctly... (that happens often :) I can't wait to here the poetry that comes from you after your visit to the Holocaust museum... that's a lot of emotion to take in....

JANU said...

Could feel the undercurrents...wonderful. Nice contrasts and a beautiful ending.

Rebecca S. said...

I have a nice little fake Rolex. I like it, but I still like coffee better.

LadyFi said...

Wow - beautiful and sensuous!

~L said...

How sad... The word someone else sure can mean a thousand different things, yet it seems most times it's a word you would weather not have to face

Great poem Brian!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Too bad most of the advertisements out there aren't nearly as good as your poetry.

The holocaust museum is a sobering experience but a meaningful one. Safe travels.

jj

Tina said...

Loved it. Erotic yet snarky too. Great combination. That museum is haunting. But a must-see.

Tina @ Life is Good

Co-Host of the April 2012 Blogging from A to Z Challenge

Twitter: #atozchallenge

myheartslovesongs said...

ooooh, i love the rhythms of this ~ jazz in poetry! too many striking lines to pick out just one or two... this is sensual, just-shy-of-sarcastic, enticing, inviting, brilliant brian at your best! sublime!

definitely one of my favorites! great image, too.

i can't tell you how much i miss being able to visit every day! your words... well, think i'll go put on some jazz.....

myheartslovesongs said...

naive me....i just figured out the title.... good one!

Dave King said...

I have to agree with Tabor. The visual was too good. But then so was the poem, there's stuff here for two posts at least - and they'd both knock the socks off me. Wonderful. I shall cover up the art and read the poem again!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wonderful poem! And I especially liked: "because who needs a mortgage
just to tell time."

And thanks for your fun contribution to last week's Limerick-Off!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"soft fingers along my ear & her
fierce eyes thumb through my book
scent marking each page, dress cut
below glossy breasts, just a hint"


Hi! Brian...
What a very descriptive poem [I must admit perusing some catalogs do have that allure]...The title compliment your image...too!

I hope that you have a peaceful, reflective,visit at the [Holocaust] museum...and a pleasant Sunday...too!
deedee :-D

Lorraine said...

Oh my Gosh I think I read over 300 holocaust survivors book, I had to stop beccause I just broke. I love your writing lies have become truth and you must purchasee that...lol excellent piece enjoy it sweetie

SueAnn said...

Primal and seductive...wow!
Hugs
SueAnn

kez said...

A cool write really enjoyed this one ...many thanks x x

Lightverse said...

Wow! This was amazing! I guess even if sex sells, money (or the lack thereof) speaks greater volumes. Still...a nice fantasy, huh?

Zoe said...

And this is why CEOs of marketing make so much money... brilliantly captured.

Secret Agent Woman said...

All those implied promises in ads. I wonder if they don't just serve to make us feel worse about ourselves.

Sh@s said...

Evocative and sensuous.

Sam!! said...

Nice one Brian..:)

Take care

Maggie said...

Nice!

The holocaust museum? How interesting! It always saddens me to know what those people went through. Are you able to take pictures there? Tell me a little bit of what you saw there, I'd really like to know!!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

We used to study ads and how they want your eye to travel in a certain direction of movement. They're very skilled at what they do. However, I tend to skip past them. Oops.

Geraldine said...

How you can weave a spell with your words Brian. Well done! Glad I stopped in.

Dark Angel said...

Sex sells, the Pepsi construction guy finally convinced me. Love "coffee krinkles", I'm gonna start calling my smile lines that!

KB said...

Excellent. Hope you had fun with your friend.

adan said...

those line weaves! words bumping down and out along the standardized word-guides, carrying a river of feeling like foamed currents split over rocks and lost limbs -

"what
could have been if---

only i wore a watch, but my wrist is empty
of such constraints..."

then just walking away and leaving the selling-stream for someone else, wow, what a trip! nice ;-)

irene said...

This is quite visceral, Brian.

I've been eyeing a Rolex myself...

william said...

a lot to think about in this one mate, the graphic was well placed , bravo

Lisa Golden said...

This is fabulous - both lyrically and in the shape it takes.

muzzleflashing.com said...

" a slow dancing vapor, gasping flower unfurled damp & heady" - great imagery! Loved this and will be back!

Syd said...

What does having a Rolex signify? That a person can afford one or that the person will be more desirable to hire, screw, emulate, emasculate with a Rolex? Never understood the need for anything other than just a simple watch that told me the time. No blue balls in a long time, man.

Heather said...

i love this one!!! hope you had a good trip!!!

♥ Braja said...

You're good. I've said that before...
;)

I loved the d
o
w
n

part. :)