Thursday, January 19, 2012

55 - I think I left my deity around here somewhere, can you help me find it?


OMG they text
     chasing HEr
          down side streets
along worn wood pew backs,
                           little dips where bowed heads rest

prayer rugs east,
                        tongued communion cups,
furious grunts, during bathroom visits,

             counted beads, conjugal picnics &
forest floor tree knots, not finding
     HEr anywhere, cause sHE

looks nothing like
                     who they see
in the mirror.
    
                  OMg

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

Over at dVerse Poets, we are looking at Imagist poetry, which I understand on some level and on others I have no clue. Victoria leads us on this merry chase, there are several online articles and examples. I did not use any metaphor that I can see, so I got at least one thing right. The worst that can happen is you fail and write again tomorrow. Ha. Do check it out.

The owl picture is a random picture I found online, having nothing to do with the poem...or does it. Hmmm. Haha.

88 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

First once more at your shore!

Peter Greene said...

Oh, I liked that. Went with the image rather.

Pat Hatt said...

I think we have the bug eyes covered today
At your and my bay
Maybe it can relate though
As eyes wide open might truly show
What the true her is
Or I could be reading too much into this bug eye biz..haha

Fred said...

Nice piece Brian, I'm not well versed on the imagist poets either. But if their ideas are as cool as the picture you paint for us here, they'll probably be something I'll wind up reading down the line. Will have to check the article Victoria put up and go from there. The metaphors are great and that little owl guy is darned cute. Thanks

Rene Foran said...

I flat out love this.
Well done :]

Teri M said...

I'm a sucker for a cute baby owl.

Cloudia said...

Always looks different than we expect. . . .

curious; did you see my poem yesterday with the eccentric rhymes?




Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

Dani said...

I guess everyone has to bow to something - even an owl

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

I see what you did there, well done Brian. But how can I not like something that's underneath a picture of a lil owl.

g-man said...

I'm lookin for a Mr Buddha
Is there a Mr Buddha here?
Loved your 'Searching' 55 Son
Thanks for playing, very well thought out, have a
Kick Ass Week End

Christine said...

love it, read it many times

Daydreamertoo said...

Hahaha... I want one. The little baby owl with the cute hat on...
Seems we've all been struck by a touch of the AMusing today! LOL

kaykuala said...

Owlish and so cute
But seldom seen during the day
Goes hooty hoot hoot
Bug-eyes the Cat had a say
Pat again 1st of the crowd
Bucks up his mood
Go for it Mr Hatt!
With help from the Cat
We're trying our best
To also vie for the same success

Hank

Heaven said...

What a chase (I can hear the sounds)..I can understand though as she looks so cute in the picture ~

hedgewitch said...

I love the owl--I tried three times to write to the imagist thing but failed dismally--got to have my metaphors. You did good here, except i thought you couldn"t tell a story--and this was a great one. Regardless, you still scored 55 and that's the winning number.

Betsy said...

I think you nailed the imagery on this one! Whoa. :)

as for lil miss owl. I would love to have her at my zoo!

manicddaily said...

tongued communion cups--hmmmm---during bathroom visits--intriguing, kind of scary too! I'm glad there's the r and s. K.

Polly Janos said...

Clever and wise!

TALON said...

I love the play of he/her she/he, Brian. That photo is priceless and you used the image so uniquely.

Teresa said...

I love this! I'm certainly going to have to check out the imagist poets at Real Toads.

ayala said...

Love this ! Love the pic :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Aww, Brian... such a cutie-pa-Hootie.. hehe. I love the little baby owl.

Your poem is perplexing... captivating. I love the visual effect of it.

adan said...

what a great picture! is that a pet of yours? wow

my fav images,

"tongued communion cups" and "conjugal picnics"

those alone, along with the baby owl (?) got me ;-)

DJan said...

I don't pretend to understand it, but I appreciate it, and the picture is just... sweet.

missing moments said...

Love that baby owl almost as much as your words.

Rebecca S. said...

At first I thought this was a statement about women doing traditional men's jobs, and men not liking or understanding that, but I was not sure.
That owl is very cute, especially in a handknit little tiny toque!

Brian Miller said...

nah, more a statement of the fact that our deities tend to take on our own image more than we theirs...regardless of which religeon...

Daniel said...

I thought I understood the gist of your nub (as it were). I then came in to enter my comment and saw your note. I pretty much had it. The OMg at the end sealed it for me. Anyway, this one brought all kinds of cool images and thoughts into my brain. A fun one today.

Katherine Krige said...

55 words that many would rather run from I suspect

Claudia said...

smiles...we tend to see in him/her/it what we like to see...and leave away what we don't like..though def. need someONE more powerful than an owl, however cute she is...smiles..OMG indeed...nice...smart piece sir..

Charles Miller said...

Nice, satire or not on the texting craze, but the words and their sound make this work, for me.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I like this sly little take on religion. The brain is simply not designed to comprehend (in human terms) that which is infinite.

Alice Audrey said...

I'm thinking furious grunts is more than I wanted to visualize, but I tend toward the crude so often that I really can't say anything.

farmlady said...

The little owl hasn't come back to the porch for three days now and it's raining hard. I hope he found God... or a large Pack rat... or another safe haven.
Wonderful photo... interesting poem.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Well done! It's amazing how much you do with so few words.

And thanks as always for your fun submissions to my weekly Limerick-Offs.

sharmishtha said...

FANTASTIC POEM brian. that pic is oh so cute. loved that baby owl.

brokenpenwriter said...

Incredible photo - how sweet is that hat? Nice word images as well. Brave attempt at rather obtuse prompt - you pulled it off!

LadyFi said...

Love your words - so poetic.

As for the picture - cute overload!

Birdie said...

i read your words and i see the pictures in a front of my eyes ... it's like an instant movie, how do you do that Brian? :-) ... this is the cutest owl i ever saw!!! so many cute bug eye creatures around blog land lately, just want to take them all with me back home :-)

Beachanny said...

I see you're killing two stones with one bird here, Brian. Good one - OMG, who is she?

anthonynorth said...

An excellent theological dissertation :-)

Valerie said...

I'm a bit lost with this one, but the baby owl is a joy to look at.

Dave King said...

Terrific this. It really appealed big time.

Divya said...

Well dont knw if this is imagist poem.. neither do i know if mine is ..
But nice fun poem.. I re-read to see if its about owl :P
Cute pic.. Imagist poem are rater difficult to write

SueAnn said...

But they sure try to make She/He fit in their mold, don't they?
Hugs
SueAnn

Mary said...

A clever write with a a cool pic! (I will take a look at the imagist prompt again..to see what I come up with!)

Tina´s PicStory said...

how cute!!! ☺

rosaria said...

How is it that the deity is still being chased in this day and age?
Perhaps we just want to hold on to what feels good!

izzy said...

Well this ranks as one of my favorites of yours- with the exception of capitals- which maybe I understand but ultimately seems distracting- May I keep a copy ?

Slamdunk said...

Powerful statement Brian--thanks.

I remember a story about someone who had been hurt by a person of faith as a young adult and avoided religion for many years. Several decades later and looking for something spiritual to read, he compromised and decided to read only works by dead Christians. It makes sense to me.

Tara Miller said...

Interesting write today! Your last lines referring to wanting God to be more like us makes me think of us trying to take control where God should be in control and keeping Him in our box for when we "really" nee Him. Not good and sad because of the joy, plans and blessings that we truly will miss because of our desire for control....

lime said...

the picture makes me grin, the poem makes me ponder. i like it. i know nothing of that form of poetry but figure as long as it's not inscrutable it's good. ;)

Magpie said...

Okay, let me start out with..OMG! :)
I have to say I love, love, love the photo. You had me following right along, running from place to place...until we got to the bathroom. Lost me there. Ohm....

Akelamalu said...

OH nice! I love the owl. :)

Margie said...

Gosh, this is good!
I really liked it!

Smiles

Margie

happygirl said...

Great 55. I like calling your deity him instead of it. It's so hard to think about it.

Sheila Moore said...

Ah but we are all made in the image of, no?

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Makes me think of that phrase Let Go, Let God.

Sue said...

Does this mean we like our deities to resemble us?
Or that we want to be people who reflect those deities in our countenances?

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?

=)

drybottomgirl said...

Interesting, and that is a very cute owl! Have a great weekend!

Other Mary said...

Ha - love it. She is a tricky one, lol.

Stranger said...

The owl picture makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and the sHE and text speak make me curiouser and curiouser. Very interesting. I think I'm going to go learn more.

tera said...

I like this a lot, but I keep going back to the owl picture. Who puts hats on owls?

wood said...

good grief dude, heh, look at all the reviews, not sure what i can say that hasn't already been said.

love the images, and the movement/ story they flow thru. kind of reminded me of the last chapter of hermann hesse's "siddhartha", where he tells his friend not to focus his vision on the one "thing", else miss all the other things, and in turn miss all the connections that tie everything to everything, to become the "thing". very well written my friend.

Pauline said...

you have a wicked sense of humor matched only by your equal sense of justice ;)

Lolamouse said...

Not sure I understood the imagism completely (or even partially!) either, but I loved the owl picture!

FrankandMary said...

I prefer going to the bathroom at home. After reading this, even more so. ~Mary

lifeisaroadtrip said...

Another nice poem, Brian. I am wondering what you think of the youtube poem by Jefferson Bethke? His words remind me of you.

Victoria said...

I think I must have complicated the whole issue of imagism. In a nutshell, it's just description of what your senses perceive. We use it all the time to spice up our poetry.

I loved this one and have learned a lot from you seeing your unique form and style. Like the capitalization of HE.

Mama Zen said...

Damn! This is such a tight write, Brian.

Steve Isaak said...

Fun, intriguing, artful work. =)

PattiKen said...

Good one, and I love the photo! Sorry, can't help you though. Deities tend to hide from me.

Margie said...

Thank you Brian.
Wishing you a great weekend too!

It's nice to have a friend as kind as you!

Anonymous said...

You seriously crack me up, man. You are big-time twisted. :)

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Raven said...

So many different ways to take this....love it.

BragonDorn said...

If only someone put that little guy in a wallpaper for me :) What a cute owl! I would bow to it :P

Vicki Lane said...

OMG! Another good one. I'm pretty fond of the George Burns as God image... or the voice in the whirlwind ... or any random dog...

yellowhousecafe said...

AUM ~ after much meditation on this one, I've decided that I will bet you 10K. OMg, as if I'm Him! tra la al. This is actually my second attempt today to comment. We'll see if the laptop will take my thoughts, the phone didn't when I said, fine 55 with dVerse worked in for good measure~

yellowhousecafe said...

AUM ~ after much meditation on this one, I've decided that I will bet you 10K. OMg, as if I'm Him! tra la al. This is actually my second attempt today to comment. We'll see if the laptop will take my thoughts, the phone didn't when I said, fine 55 with dVerse worked in for good measure~

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"counted beads, conjugal picnics &
forest floor tree knots, not finding
HEr anywhere, cause sHE"


Hi! Brian...
What a nice use Of 55 poetic words and a beautiful picture Of an Owl...too!
Thanks,for sharing!
deedee ;-D

adeeyoyo said...

Ah, lovely poem, Brian. Loved the play on words and capital letters... Also the humorous touch, haha. And I ADORE your pic!!! I could take him/her home with me.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Isn't it strange how God always agrees with the follower's beliefs!

secret agent woman said...

I'm sorry, I'm completely distracted by that adorable owl!

Myrna R. said...

The picture is adorable, and your poem, well... I think it says more than fifty five words could contain, except when you write them.

Thanks, for it. I don't always recognize Her in the mirror.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Beautifully done!

And thanks for yet another fun contribution to last week's Limerick-Off!

Zuzana said...

Brian, this was fun. She or He, right. The picture is cute, owls have that strange aura of unattainability about them.;)
xoxo

Syd said...

That owl is a powerful totem. Maybe it is a secret deity for some.

Margaret said...

Sounds like Parochial School gone Wild!