It's like riding a bike,
unless you have never ridden one
you would think at fourteen he would have, or desired the freedom or wind in his hair, the sweet kiss of tires on asphalt or the fear laced thrill of lifting your hands to your side as you fly.
my bike carried me miles from home to cut grass, to see friends, to chase dragons back to their caves and rocket me into space and
he is a maelstrom of excitement and fear, unsure of himself and reliving all the times he has been told he could not, not because he couldn't but because of who he was, what he was---the knife at his throat, insecurities of a man bent to make his son smaller than himself---before he ran off
you are good for nothing-weak, i oughta kick your ass--
and he did
and he did
and he
there are moments i have to turn away, to catch my breathe and push back the thoughts that enter my mind, of meeting the fathers of the father-less, less fathers than
and he says, "don't let go"
as we start, handlebars dancing at the first bit of forward motion, but i know it is coming, i told him it was coming, and he will crash and craSH and CRaSH
skin his knee and bleed, but smile when he finally gets it, finally believes, and is free, frEE, FReE
and flying
leaving me behind, a solitary shadow with cheeks damp, knowing i may never see him again, but he will always be a gift given me, even if only for a moment as i move on to the next.
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115 comments:
gorgeous.
you have the most precious gift in how you see the world, how you feel life as though it poured over your skin like rain.
it's a blessing, brother.
I do believe you gave him a beautiful gift as well- he trusts you and that is no small thing.
You gave him wings with your actions and your words...
I love when you share these stories and give us a glimpse into the lives of the young men you're helping. You have such a heart to help them and know they will be changed from being with you. Thank you for encouraging them and telling them how special they are and that they indeed "can" and are "loved".
I love you ~
free, frEE, FReE -
very creative piece of prose/poetry... it really took me back to my own childhood and that love affair have with our bikes, without even thinking about it. In the moment. Thank you. But there is more here too... nice write Brian
You sir are too kind for this place but because of that you will live long and suffer much while you do the good things for others that you do. I admire you Brian, not for your writing, though it is excellent, but rather for your heart and the spirit of the creator which resides within there.
Without as doubt ~ we are all blessed to have you in our lives.
gosh this gives me chills & teary eyes
Wow, so poignant and brave. Beautiful poem of life that goes on, and on, and on. Love the freedom felt on the bike. I can feel it now, too!
I'm so glad that there are men like you, Brian, who care about the helpless and, with God's help, give them the ability to fly. Merry Christmas!
Love looking through your eyes brother.
Nice that these boys can inspire you, and only fitting. It seems obvious that you provide inspiration for them.
Your heart is big man. Thank God for ones who help and encourage those who need a boost.
I can just feel Jesus smile upon you.
You have yourself a wonderful Christmas filled with friends, family and fudge...piles of fudge!!!
you have a style of writing i can really relate to, stories with hints of "back-story", a depth that goes beyond mere word play and cleverness. so far i've really enjoyed reading your work, and look forward to reading more.
Awesome honest infused writing, full of real feelings. To guide his young one into life, and to watch him go on his own. It's more than that, there's a lot of dimensions in this one -- mainly the struggle of feelings within the narrator. Beautiful to the end.
You brought back that moment to me when I "got it" when learning to ride a bike. I was free, but I never thought about my dad, who was standing behind me as I took off for the first time. This is just beautiful...
Such a touching story. I'm glad you took the time and effort to teach him. Grace to the sperm donor. They know not what they do.
Freedom is so precious for someone of whatever age. But at 14, I think freedom is felt especially strongly....but I also know that 14-year-olds always find their way HOME. Thank you for 'jamming' with us Brian!
I love my bike carried me miles from home to cut grass, to see friends, to chase dragons back to their caves and rocket me into space..simply beautiful.
I have a very soft spot for a 14 year old boy, and my heart cries for this one.
Merry Christmas Brian and family.
My heart aches for the kids you work with. This piece is very sweet, and I love the comparison with flying and riding a bike.
Tina @ Life is Good
Oh this is so sad! And so happy! Both, really.
This made me highly nostalgic for my old bike.
You are giving them a gift that will, with God's blessings, last them a lifetime and we can only hope that they will turn into young men who do right by their own children someday and are blessed with the same joy you are feeling of giving them their own wings to fly. Oh and that they never need their asses kicked by society.
You can also feel the love that goes both ways and even if you do not hear it the boys are yelling "Thank you" as they speed off into the sunset.
Thanks again for playing in this weeks Theme Thursday and glad you liked the prompt, it does go well with this season. Merry Christmas.
God bless
Love it. You are a gift to humanity.
Beautiful write, Brian. It's definitely not biology that makes a great father. Thank heavens kids like him get the chance to know that by spending time with someone who is a great role model.
These words cut through my heart:
"insecurities of a man bent to make his son smaller than himself"
Thanks for sharing this lovely story and for giving him the push and wings to be free ~
"don't let go'
what a line
and what a line break..beautiful
loaded with so much weight
just wonderful
That brings up some sad memories.
Perfect Gift from U, to Him, and In Between...
What A Gifted Piece.
Way to Go!
You're so gifted. It's such a delight to read you.
Happy Christmas to you and yours!
Brian you are doing amazing things - giving priceless gifts.
Merry Christmas to you and your family. Praying all is going well.
very deep n touching..
piercing right at the core of the heart...
these small stories, small gifts makes our lives more beautiful.... reading all this through your words is a delight.
Seems we all have a thing for our bike
Even though now I'd tell it to take a hike
Such a nice gift you gave
So nice I can't even poke fun at your cave
Hmph what is up with that
Now you've gone and messed up the cat...haha
Cool give
thank you WM...a great compliment...as i have made respect for your skillz brother...
Ah, but you were a gift given him, too, Brian! Gorgeous writing.
Its with stuff like this that I am again reminded of the gap between a simple "blogger" and a true "writer".
Happy Holidays!
Gifts are a two way street--this kind anyway. Beautiful, brian, the kind of christmas miracle all year thing that needs to happen more.
this story breaths the wind rushing past him. love it.
Wonderful! The amazing freedom that bike riding brought me as a child -- it all came back as I read your poem.
You gave me goosebumps with this one. It's a sad, sad story but a happy ending thanks to you. Well done on all levels.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas!
jj
That reminds me of when I started to ride a bike. I took a few years off when my dad sent us down suicide missions to "make us better at bicycling" or something. Maybe he just enjoyed that philosophy of throwing a kid in the water to teach him how to swim.
Giving the gift of self-esteem and freedom...wonderful.
Love riding bikes,
your words carry weight, wind, and love.
A Blessing to Read U!
;)
this made me weep.
there is Christ in you.
merry christmas brian...
oh and you are a gift given to him as well - he so needs someone to believe that he can do it..be it holding her right or holding himself on a bike - sounds like he learned a valuable lesson which goes far beyond biking and excellently written..
Brian,
Thank you for your comment on my site. I was a little worried that my personal ruminations might be too heavy of a thing to post. Thanks.
Merry christmas to you and your bike-riding-finally-free-friend!:)
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com
Lovely...brought back memories.
you are a kind and generous soul, my friend!
wishing you and your family the merriest Christmas and may the new year bring you many smiles.
d ♥
I had a Schwinn Corvette, No speed gears, No hand lever brakes.
That bike took me everywhere. It instilled my love of Motorcycles.
You 'Popped' a wheely with this one Son!
Beautiful, Brian. You are a gift.
Oh the memories.... the freedom. I wish all youngsters could feel what I felt in those carefree days.
Brian, this went straight to my heart. You are a marvelous father!!
Lady Nyo
Wow! Really, that's all I can say. Honoured to have you visit my place. Thanks for the encouragement.
And thanks for this piece which shows me how far I have still to travel.
These so-called fathers... father-less - less than or minus's! How the children struggle to gain (was going to say regain, but you can't regain what you never had) self confidence, a good self image. You have made me cry - again! Hope he learns that not all grownups are destructive. Another excellent write, Brian.
So beautiful and moving!
You do good work.
I like to think I am not often swayed in my appreciation of a poem by its subject matter. This one's different. Cycling was my first love and it still calls - yhough hollowly!
This did much to recapture those golden days, for which I thank you, for only a piece so exceptionally well written could have done so.
I am trying to express how I feel, but I can't seem the find the words, you comfort the worse of my pain
sometimes, many times, your poetry reminds me of just how much gratitude exists in me. And how self-centered I am. So many have never had the amazing love I've received. Right down to a dad who patiently helped me learn to ride a bike.
Brought back so many memories!
and you made me cried once a more Brian ... how could the world be a different place if we all were like you!
lovely movement from section to section, here to there, along the bike path. (Ha.) k.
ah, what a great gift you gave him!
fabulous
You taught him he could fly, if only trusted in himself and with that smallest of deeds Brian, he knows now he can do anything else too, if he tries.
Damnit I too had such a dreadful childhood. In and out of many, many foster homes from aged 3 1/2 up to aged 9 or so both state run and private family run. None of them was a picnic at all and living with my mother and my uncle, my late father's brother (who was to become her second husband) who was an abuser too. My childhood was no doddle at all. This bought tears to my eyes. When a child's trust is broken by those who are supposed to love and protect them, who then can they trust.
God certainly knew what he was doing when he chose you to do what you do for people Brian. In the same way He chose me to give a childhood to the child I raise now in a safe, loving home. We may not know our own path clearly but, someone else knows it perfectly.
What a lovely read.
Beautiful, touching tale and so much more just underneath... as many have mentioned here, you really do have a gift... a master storyteller
So lovely! You have given him a wonderful gift. Not only of freedom but of learning he is not small. This will make me smile all day long. :)
What a gift you have for writing with such eloquence! I am writing this through tears. Your words truly moved me. So much emotion - I could feel everything you were saying.
powerfully written, real and so touching, especially at the end with the wet cheeks and the letting go... because of your words the boy feels a gift for me too and I thank you for that
your blog is a gift to many of us .. as much you are blessed by god :)
Gifts for 'NOW' and we best attend!
Love your piece- (especially bikes and wings of freedom.)
Potential Icarus - multi-layered,
multidimensional. Thanks.
Very creative, I like!
Hello Brian,
I rode a Bullet Royal Enfield motor cycle for almost nine years.It was the heaviest,costliest bike in India at that time and envied by others.It was a monster of a bike.I used to race with the trucks on the highways,overtake them with gay abandon,race with locomotives moving at speeds more than 120 km.,over take the driver and wave at him with glee. I had a lovely dark cooling glass to protect my eyes and a blue blazer flying behind me making me look like a super man. No doubt I had injuries but fortunately they were minor.
As regards children we,fathers, always want to make men out of them at the earliest.Sometimes we were harsh but with good intentions. Ultimately,I found to my dismay that all my children suddenly grown up and could stand on their own legs.Time passed quickly but I cherish those wonderful days when they were young. Well,now I have opened a different chapter altogether to move on with my life.
Your post is very inspiring and I my thoughts went flying to the fabulous days when I was young and dashing.
Wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic new year.
Joseph
A wonderful collection of words, with great meaning!
A wonderful collection of words, with great meaning!
You are being richly rewarded now and more rewards will come later for all that you do. I feel better for having known you through your writings. Thanks for making that boy's heart sing.
It's so tragic that some people need to put others down to build themselves up. They should know this never works, but can't see past their own insecurities. It is in boosting someone else that we are truly lifted. You can feel the joy when you make someone feel good about themselves.
I LOVE the first line!! This reminds me of ET and all the fun Elliott and his friends had on their bike.
This is such a beautiful piece of writing. And what a wonderful gift. I read this twice so I could absorb it.
Brian that was just beautiful.
*smiling* wonderful Christmas to you and your family as well Brian!
Always enjoy your words Brian. Much talent within you. Merry Holidays to you and yours....
...leaving me behind, a solitary shadow with cheeks damp, knowing i may never see him again, but he will always be a gift given me...
I can't help but think of my father when reading your words, even knowing you are speaking of a totally different event.
Thank you, Brian for the powerful images you paint in our hearts :-)
Beautiful, inspiring. What a nice way to start the holiday. WIshing you and your family a happy holiday.
i can smell the warm wind and the grass and dirt...
brilliant ;)
I just marvel at your writing ability, Brian. You are truly an artist, and I am glad I found you!
=)
PS. I also love the work you are doing. I think you and my eldest son would be great friends.
I love the way you weave together the story and of helping the boy to be free... Your words provide hope in tragedy. Thanks.
Love the ways you capture what matters in this life in your prose Brian....this is stunning! :-)
whew, tough emotions - learning to ride a bike makes a great metaphor for what you encounter most days, I imagine.
I love your imagination and great ability to create images with words.
I loved this and you touched my heart greatly!
Thanks for being you, you are good and good to the world!
Margie :)
My friend, I don't know how to tell you how talented you are! It is a honor to read your blog. The imagery is spectacular in this write, and I too want to look away, but I would miss the moment of freedom and that is priceless! Thank you.....
Sad that some kids have to live like that, but very touching that they have great role models in YOU.
How to say? How to explain that the way you write affects, emotions are brought. Very interesting text, a gift to us readers!
Blessings to you and yours, for your sweet sentiments, on this season, and all seasons that remind us of the pain and the joy humans inflict on others.
"fathers of the father-less"....as I am now, 43 years ago today, he was-as I am as well....your timing is...well it is
Peace, Brother
Brian, I wrote a poem tonight for dVerse prompt.
Sounds painful and freeing. Nice to see you here.
really wonderful and heartwarming - that you care, shines brightly through your writing...
I beg your forgiveness for my cutting and pasting my comment, but there was no way on Earth I would be able to make it around the whole globe to wish everybody a Merry Christmas otherwise.
The magical elves that constitute my staff have demonstrated their lack of respect in either not showing up for work at all, or those that have all seem a little worse for wear (if you catch my drift). All they seem to do is sit around smoking cigarettes that, frankly, smell funny. In addition, they play cards and tell dirty jokes rather than do their jobs! Consequently, the reindeer are all filthy and out of shape.
Despite my best efforts, the couple of chooks, arthritic wallaby and three peculiar wombats that I’ve drafted in just don’t cut it as replacements.
Anyway, all the way down here at the bottom of the world (A.K.A. Tasmania), and from myself, Jen, Henry and Ezra, please have a Merry Christmas/Winter Solstice/Hanukkah/Festivus/Ashura and a happy New Year!
I hope that all of your holiday photos turn out to be triumphs, your stocking is stuffed full of lots of tasty treats and not coal and that all your pumpkin pies/ prawn cocktails/ currywurst are all as tasty as can be!
what a gift you gave to him and to us by sharing...Thank you, and Merry Christmas to you and your family :)
Brian,
A perfect gift for a 14 year old. Not lavish and something he needs his own energy to work it. He'll enjoy it more than a motorbike, safer too!It's still a flying machine to him!
Hank
A beautiful inspiring write, thank you.
This is so wonderful, your gift rebounds back to you in ways only you will know.
Love the sensitivity in this.
Oh, Brian, this is extraordinary. I love it. Bravo!
Aw Brian, those skinned knees are the best gift you could ever receive. How sweet
Merry Christmas my friend.
xoxo
It seems there may be a little hope left for this world knowing there's someone like you out there for those boys. At least they have someone to give them a little light in their lives when every other part seems so dark. It's sad they have to learn the evils of the world so young instead of being allowed to just be kids...
I hope you and your family have an awesome Christmas! :)
My daughter's friend doesn't know how to ride a bike. I find it kind of sad...that her parents have not seen the importance of this. It is not for lack of funds, only perhaps, will. The freedom to ride is a beautiful thing...some even carry on with it...the whole Harley Davidson thing. :) Merry Christmas - all the best to you and your family.
Awesome look at a moment. Wonderfully told without a doubt. Love how this piece took form, keeping the hook in until the moment was done. Great job. Thanks
The range of emotions you evoke in this piece is amazing. It's beautiful and heartrending all at once and I love it.
Well done!
Happy TT and happy holidays!
Hello Brian.
Long time no see. Hope today finds you well.
I am so touched by this post. Your passion, your heart, your compassion & your overwhelming love are all expressed here. You have laid the solid foundation for this young man to build upon.
Simply beautiful, my friend. If I could shake your hand, I would, but I'll just send you virtual hugs instead.
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the visit too.
An Inscription Of Love
The "kiss of tires"... lovely. Would make a fine title for this piece too.
Brian,
You gave that young person the courage to try, to fail, and to try again. That is everything.
and he did
and he did
and he
Your cheeks might be damp, but there is a smile in your heart. Powerful, Brian!
...now, on to the next... :)
Nothing is more important than giving someone his freedom and the confidence to know that he is free.
It sounds like a blessing for both of you.
My boys do not know what it feels like to be fatherless - to not have that father who teaches you to fly - and lets you, with training wheels until they are ready for that independence - and because they don't know, they judge more harshly than they ought, they don't realize the gift they have. Kuddos to you for perfectly describing what it is to teach a boy to fly, to soar!
You don't really think about what a bicycle represents, but it is freedom for him. You have a tough job, one that you might not always see the impact of in the day to day. But what a difference I know you make, to him, to all of them. This was beautiful.
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