my cat purrs like parked bulldozers
hiding behind badges
at the sparrow perching on the window sil,
feet up, a broken neck
did it not see the glass waiting for it
to rise just high enough?
use your fingers, flap its wings
passerine pantomime looking for seed
it no longer flies
it will not sing
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Over at dVerse Poets, Gay has us writing in allegory and metaphor. Should be fun, so join in.
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89 comments:
Oh my, poor sparrow- and that last line...you've got me thinking now-
Hmmm- (thanks)
HA...a great two fer...a crash landing here?
Peace
I used to have birds slam into my office window occasionally, poor things.
....only the feline seems pleased.
a nice vignette to see, but not to be - at least for the sparrow, anyway....but what doe it know? (now)
like the way you flip to the tactile...
use your fingers....
from the narrative POV of a first-person, to the speaking to a second-person POV
The song of the sparrow gave way to the purring of your cat...life goes on...:-)
why do you think there is an expression "bird brain"? they do stupid things sometimes.
this makes me sad - sad enough for the sparrow it purports to talk about, but sadder (and madder too) for the reality hiding within the metaphor...
O.K., how does the picture fit in with the scene?
it is all symbolism...
the sparrow...if you google is the symbol for the love of god
the 'parked' bulldozers hiding behind badges were use to push the OWS crowd out of the 'park' at midnite...
the glass....the glass ceiling
6:8...is a reference from the book of Micah
Platos Republic...with the play on the public park...
and the bird did die outside today...but i do think by tonight my cat is full....i will now refer to it as just another 'fat cat'...hehe
ok, i think i got it...i was a little tricky tonight in all of this...an attempt to impress gay...because i can play because it is not form...lol
Whew, Brian, thanks for the explanation. I got the bulldozers and the "glass ceiling" but that was about it. Nice work, though - you got a lot of stuff into that little poem.
Is it 55 day already? Yikes! Poor birdie.
Thanks for the explanation. :) nice!
You mean it's not just about a bird???
Nice job Brian. You know my affinity toward symbolism and metaphor, this was right up my alley. I see the way you worked this, but it's really, really good, in the way it can be open to alternative interpretation as well. Awesome read. Thanks
Love the cat purring like a bulldozer. Perhaps she is thinking of recycling something that isn't going to be used anymore? An eco-cat :D that sees the brighter side of things. I see that others focused on the sparrow. Maybe I should read it again.
Excellent work as always, Brian.
Wow not even I would have read that much into it
Thanks for the explaining bit
At least the kitty is nice and plump
As the poor bird took a bump
Cats always win
Even with bulldozers pushing one into the garbage bin
Brian, I see a lot of depth in this, a lot of political commentary. It's either referring to the "empire" situation in England or the "evil empire" nastiness here at the Occupy camps. The bird seems more metaphorical, as the Fat Cats are waiting for us "radicals" to fly to high, smack us down, and call us all Icarus (as if we are to blame). Don't know if I'm overreaching, but the fire in my activist belly was surely stirred by this one, so thanks! Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/repairers-of-the-breach/
Smooth as silk. Like this one a lot, Brian.
Thank you, Brian. Sometimes I need a little guidance. :)
Oh, this is sad, Brian. I hate to think about / see birds smash into windows.
actually amy, you nailed it...
You never have to try to impress me, Brian; in fact you never fail to impress me. You always challenge me, make me think really hard, see things new, color outside the lines. Oh yes, metaphors seem like they're magnetized for you - careening in out of the things around you, flying in and making song, story, philosophy and sticking to your pen.
I should have been by earlier. I had the advantage of your notes. Would I have sorted them all out? I don't know..I was there for Plato, and I knew from the Bulldozers we were talking about Occupy Wall Street -- Main Street; but the glass ceiling & the biblical reference would have zoomed by me. I thought 6:8 was a mathematical ratio which I was pondering as I read your notes. Fat cats..I definitely would have had to think awhile to see that. You shouldn't have to explain anything this good; but I'm glad you did! Consider me blown away!
Brian...
Thanks for the explanation.
You really need to stop dropping acid
But once the fog settles, it was really a Top Notch 55 Son...
Thanks for playing, thanks for your support, and stay away from Hot Springs, they are 12 degrees colder than you Right now!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End
Brian~
"my cat purrs like parked bulldozers hiding behind badges"-
priceless!
You don't need anyone to teach you the guts of poetry, my friend, it's coming straight out of yours here--fine and deep use of symbols make this a poem on several co-existing levels--I was flashing a bit on my own songbird poem from poetics, with passerine, but also on the political. As a godless heathen, I had no clue on the 6:8--thought maybe it was a train time or something, but everything else, the bulldozers, etc, all worked wonderfully. Really an excellent piece--and again--in only 55 words. Yeesh. You and Shay--always raising that damn bar.
I kind of caught the OWS bit, but the Micah? I don't know. On a purely non-allegorical level, it works just fine!
K.
but yet, friendships can still begin. . .
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
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All so stark and such strong imagery. Great use of allegory and metaphor, Brian - and all in 55 words! Duly impressed :)
You make this seem so easy! thanks for the explanation of all the symbolism - I wouldn't have caught all that!
You do poetry so well....
great job - all that symbolism had my head in a spin (I blame the head doc ;)
A sad tale....well expressed.
Very symbolic dear Brian, but still I like the cat and bulldozers, as they truly sound like that when purring.;)
Have a great weekend dear friend,
xoxo
A Jungian archetypal delight.
A sad fact of life...birds die, sometimes the killer a cat, sometimes a window, sometimes nothing at all....
Awww I had a little budgie that did that years ago, was so excited to be flying, he didn't realise how big the room was and going so fast he flew into the wall and broke his neck. What a sad reminder.
We have birds crash into our windows but so far (fingers crossed) not one has been killed. I have yet to hear the noise of a parked bulldozer...grins.
This is just so damn good in so many ways I don't know what to say about it - other than that! - Oh, and congratulations.
Awww! That is so sad!!
Hugs
SueAnn
That's so sad!
I've got butterfly transfers on my windows to stop that happening.
My cats are dangerous enough for the birds without the glass helping.
Gorgeous poetry - as ever.
I have to admit, initially, I was literal when I read this piece and then read your comment & read it again.
I liked it when I first read it, but REALLY enjoyed it after when I had the correct symbolism.
Nicely done.
a well layered and satisfying piece! may I have another slice, please?
Shit happens as they say, it just wasn't the sparrows turn for a good day. Eh?
I hate when that happens. I feel so badly for them.
so, the 99% are dead sparrows? I never thought of myself as a cat person. :)
no, not really...i just think the sparrows neck got broken somewhere along the way in our attempts at personal glory and attaining wealth...
Oh, very nice.
Downtown Mpls had problems with the birds flying into the skyways for a while until they put cut-outs of swooping hawks in the windows. :-)
Pearl
people are people and critters are critters... why would be think any different
I agree with you, greed for more, more, more, is driving everything now. We overlook 20 million starving in Africa with the mindset, Oh well, it's not me and mine but we forget, as the human race, we're all in this together. United we stand, divided we fall. (Corny words from an old song, I know but, still rings true) :)
Sad but beautifully written...
JJRod'z
I hate it when birds crash into the window. It's such a cringe moment. They're just trying to fly into the wild blue yonder they see in the glass. At least they die doing what they do best.
Thanks for sharing what you do as good as anyone.
ha - should've read the comments before i broke my head, trying to decode your metaphors..the only thing i was sure was that it's not about cats and birds...ha..looked up the micah quote..
..To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly.. yep - think that's the way..
Awesome piece! ... In our world, often is the case that one soul's misery turns out to be another's blessing. Thanks for sharing!
I'm not sure that can still be called perching.
Good Morning,
Meow!!!!!
i wish i am smart enough to understand this one,
too deep to get a hitch of it for the first read,
but, do feel impressed by your playfulness and risk taking courage.
Quite bloody imagery, lesson learned, thanks to you.
Have A Better Day Today,
will be back for another sip of coffee when time is right.
peace.
be easy,
Smiles!
Love this. My cat and dog have been in a territory war all day. It's been kind of fun to watch.
It no longer flies. It won't sing. Aaah.
So the title took me back to my life in England and then you went and killed a bird...sighhh...or did the cat do it?
Just wondering...Sandi
I hate it when this happens. It is usually doves here.
Hello Brian,
I agree one cannot convey much in 55 words but I think you have conveyed enough and more to imagine and ponder. A greedy cat waiting to pounce on the badly hurt bird. A grim situation indeed. One in misery and the other waiting with great expectation at a tasty meal.
Best wishes,
Joseph
For a poet who seems to prefer exploring a theme over many lines, you sure can pack a punch into 55 words! This is amazing - the terse lines really focuses the attention of the images - very visual piece.
the symbolism is awesome...I'm very impressed...I did Google a few things to catch the full effect of it all, and I learned a new word "passerine" :)
Well, I had the bulldozer and the glass ceiling right...
Thanks for explaining the rest, though it was packed with meaning even with what I had.
You are a talent, my friend.
=)
Interesting tale + making us think= impressing more than Gal...
:)
Even though I figured it was symbolic, I wouldn't have been able to figure it out without your explanation. Thank you!
And... I especially liked the first line :)
Loved the symbolism. Feel like I've been banging my head on glass ceilings a lifetime. Broke a couple. But the fat cats purr on and gamble away my wins.
Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing a "very" short yet, "very" powerful story [an image] with the use Of just 55 words.
deedee :-D
Oh my, sparrows with broken necks, bulldozers plowing down our children with no justice or mercy, women cut off at the knees, fat cats scavenging on us all with no thought of walking humbly- how do you do all that in 55 words? Your talent is enormous.
And thanks for your generosity in visiting new people to encourage us.
This is a great line, B: "passerine pantomime looking for seed"
Oh, sad. I wrote a poem along similar lines a while back. :0(
Brian,
Must say that I missed some of your metaphors but was able to grasp others. I loved the alliteration in passerine pantomime! Very cool.
you're getting good at this 55 word thing, eh? Cat like parked bulldozers.. what a simile...
The most creative 55.
beautiful metaphor.
You know I agree Brian you sure can pack a punch in 55. have a great weekend.
fab 55, B...as I was reading, I thought, oh, he is doubling up with symbolism and metaphor (lol) for dVerse. Glad for your insight for a few points (bible verse) but otherwise, I tracked for you are spot on in your talents, cheers ~
Great! it reminded me of Leonard Cohen's Bird on a Wire
I yiyi, I hate when that happens. We have a big picture window and I that happens on a fairly regular basis around here.
So sad, yet it reminded me instantly of a cat or two I know. They'd be the one to put the window down so the bird flew into it.
{{{sob}}}
ah poor sparrow...I have had many birds hit my back windows..well that was before outside cats showed up :)
Sad...poor bird..
Blessings!
It's very beautiful blog, I'm happy to visit your blog,
eczema home remedy
regards..
this was sad. well written one brian.
A broken neck sure enough. It couldn't survive with just a headache. I witnessed it once. It came crashing with a dull thud. Great verse!
Hank
A Flight Broken.....
WOW! Explanation was timely for my late read. Each day I learn a new word from your post...passerine.
If it wasn't written on a bottle, a restroom cubicle, or was fewer than 4 letters, I probably did not know the word.
I don't know who could top your 55-word dissertations, unless they wrote the word "Love" 55 times.
PEACE, friend!
marvelous metaphor, you!
So elegantly written of a small passing ....
Nice use of symbols and metaphors. The strong feed on the weak -- that is the nature of survival and ultimately progress -- fact of life -- yet we have the ability via civilization and law to protect the weak.
Very well done short poem!
Those parked bulldozers are active this week. Not snoozing but cutting down trees for apartment buildings along one of the main thoroughfares going to town. I hate to see more grand trees cut down. We are killing ourselves when we kill the trees.
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