Thursday, December 29, 2011

55 - Holy Separation Anxiety, Batman

"---so, put my campaign contribution in the offering
plate on Sunday and they will get it to you.
Ok, thanks for calling."


a'least spit
on your finger first
umph...

oh whoa
how many knuckles

elbow
urrrk---

guess you
will have to stop at the pit
arm

mmmphmurrr

hea da mah mouf
mmmmmrfh

vote for NEWT
     vote for NEWT

ssSHhlllLuuUrrrRrpfpPp

(sigh)

so that's what it feels like
to be a puppet

just not what i expected
in church

Got a story? Say it in 55 words and you can go tell g-man. After recieving a Christmas card addressed to the most politically incorrect person they knew, i could not resist on last bit of snarky truth for you. Smiles.

84 comments:

Rachel said...

powerful. comedic.

good stuff here, brian.

Titanium said...

Thanks for not resisting the *snark*! It's a necessity, these days, just to survive the horror show that is this never-ending election cycle.

Pat Hatt said...

haha I love the snarky truth you gave
Seemed to be an all around fav
Or a unverisal chime
As it has been heard plenty a time
But in church you say
Oh the dismay
Maybe they want to take it to the grave
Or have a HOLY COW, BLAM, BAM, SLAM, rave

Lolamouse said...

Brian,
Snark away, my friend! Peace on Earth (after we bomb everyone into submission) and Goodwill toward men (who believe the same as we do!)

MorningAJ said...

In church? Wow.

Brian Miller said...

smiles. yes....i guess to fully appreciate you have to understand i live in the home town of the moral majority...and the Republican candidates come each year to 'preach'...i find it humorous....

Ostensible Truth said...

haha snark away indeed! well told Brian! nice!

Daniel said...

Enjoyed this vent. Keep it up man. Fight the power!

Claudia said...

goodness..this is bizar.. reminded me of a conversation i had with a german friend who just returned from living a few years in texas and she told me when she first went to a church meeting she thought she accidentally entered the wrong room cause it was more a political happening...

Helen said...

Makes me happy knowing I live in the middle of 'nutty crunchy' land!!!!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hello! Brian...
Nice use Of 55 poetic words-I find it very sad that [some] politician(s) will come to a church, but not to pray and hope for guidance.
However,for people votes and then in the end want even ful-fill their...promises.
[Broken-Promises]
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-(

Betsy said...

Wow. Just wow.

happygirl said...

ewww. Holy internal exam, Batman.

Tina said...

LOL to Happy Girl! She hit the nail on the head. I absolutely abhor politics. I've always said, if you have great ideas and moral fiber, you will never see office. You have to leave those behind to just get in the door. By then, you're one of them.
Tina @ Life is Good

Luke Prater said...

oh the onomatopoeia... I had to larf... and the batman... always enjoyed. Thanks for the Brass Monkeys info... NYE I'm gonna ask a barman for one of those, see what he says....

Friko said...

Wasn't with you at first, but in the end I got it.

Very funny.

Mary said...

Ah, Brian...there are many 'puppets' in this world. Some inanimate and some who live among us and turn up in the most surprising places!

farmlady said...

The pulpit has always been political, Brian. Do you need a different place of worship or just a break?
This election stuff is spreading like schizophrenic lava. It's the "Blob" on speed. I'm waiting for Godzilla to join Batman and lay waste.
Love the poem and really love the words under the photo.

FrankandMary said...

<<is thankful she doesn't go to church.

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Show me an onomatopoeia and I'll give you a smile. -j

kaykuala said...

Far from the action but Newt has been a long campaigner. Not quite familiar with the new ones. Am still following the scene, though!

Hank

Unknown Mami said...

Do puppets have feelings?

Rae said...

Unbelievable. There is no escape anywhere.

Grace said...

I am thankful that our church do not stoop this low. Puppets are pitiful ~

Creative play of words ~

hedgewitch said...

Hey--being non PC--that's a *good* thing, my man. And this poem is too--I laughed freely at the shlurping noises. What a clown show. I am hoping the church part doesn't mean God is now part of a Super Pac.

rosaria said...

Oh my!

lynnaima said...

funny lol, thought provoking ending as well :) thanks for the visit!

Natasha Head said...

Did NOT think I could love you and your work any more than I already did. Whoops...never underestimate the power of snark! YOU know I LOVED this!

Rachel Hoyt said...

Church, Batman, Newt... great combo! I love seeing your wackier side. :)

chiccoreal said...

Dear Brian: Lots of gutteral separation angst and snarks and pundits and pollsters begone! Quite a ratcheting mind-opener! Thanks!

G-Man said...

What about the separation of Church and State?
It will NEVER happen!
Most Non PC post Son...
Thanks for acknowledging the Political Seemy Underbelly of Society. Have a Kick Ass New Year!

oceangirl said...

..and the US election was what helped me through almost four years ago.

This was a superpower 55 Brian Miller.

Mama Zen said...

Holy violation of that church's tax exempt status, Batman!

Margie said...

In Church?
Good Grief Charlie Brown!
Never would have expected such a thing!

Good write, as always!
Good snarky truth!

Have a great evening!

Smiles :)

DJan said...

You never fail to have a ton of comments by the time I get here, and they are all much smarter than me. But I still laughed, especially at the Newt part... :-)

wood said...

the title is very clever, the anxiety over the seperation of church and state... i like that.

we are all puppets in some regard, someone is always trying to pull our strings (or, heh, like you say, fisting us with ideology) to get what they want

very well expressed

Teresa said...

The week before the caucuses in Iowa~I'm on politics overload. Thanks for the laugh!

KB said...

Thanks for the giggle. Happy new Year!

Laurie Kolp said...

Love the title and witticism here, Brian. Best wishes to you and yours for a happy and healthy 2012.

TALON said...

Snarky can be good :)

Cloudia said...

Touche`

Thanks for your comment! Yes, a WM quote today. And BTW, intended to visit today BEFORE your kind comment.

You win this round! Warm Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral

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Summer Rain said...

The Title got my attention-

Without darkness, one would never experience the joy of seeing light.

Great attitude on what's coming toward you.

Enjoyed the playful wording.
Quite witty and compact 55.

Thanks for being always inspirational.

Have A Holy and Lovely Evening!

izzy said...

Sounds like an appropriate stifling!
Happy New Year-

♥ Braja said...

Brian...thank you for your cyber-friendship in 2011...have a wonderful last day or two of this year, and I look forward to more in 2012...

love,
Braja

Enchanted Oak said...

Holy batshit, Brian!

Margaret said...

PC is never good. This is too funny - and who knew Batman was a Republican! :)

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hello Brian,

We all give contributions to Church not only on Sundays but also on other special days.But our Churches don't take any funds for political contribution. As far as possible our Churches keep away from politics unless it affects the Churches beliefs.

Beautiful writing and I enjoyed reading it.

Wishing you and your wonderful family a fabulous new year.
Joseph

RD said...

ahhh, a lubricatiously supposited write

Father blO' Malley would approve

Peace

my 55

Lady Whispers said...

Powerful this was
And so very unusual :)
Lovely

adeeyoyo said...

Oh we had lots of puppets here in the apartheid era, Brian! I daresay it's just the same now, but with the shoe on the other foot, lol!

anthonynorth said...

The Church of England over here is often known as the political wing of the Conservative Party.
Edgy and funny.

Lorraine said...

Pow Kapow Pout Kim Bang POw wow sorry my inner child responded

Valerie said...

This poor English girl is totally lost ... this was about ... politics? Oh I forgot, you're in the middle of it right now. Shame! It oughta be banned.

Evalinn said...

Nice!

I wish you and your family a happy new year, Brian!

CiCi said...

Oh no, not a Newt story in the arm pit.
Yikes.

SueAnn said...

Oh so wonderfully sarcastic!! Loved this....mmmrrppphhghgyhhhh!
Really!!
Ha!
Hugs
SueAnn

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Really a Sunday morning run at politics? Interesting stuff.

Hope said...

ha! good one! love the image

ayala said...

Ha ha....good one!

Blue Bunny said...

wot is a noot??

i lieks it a lot, brian, yor pome.

i haz a bat man kostume too. i mite ware it today.

oox

the walking man said...

Contact the IRS and let them know the preacher man be politicizing the pulpit...you'll be doing a public service as they would have to start paying the taxes they all should be paying anyway.

PattiKen said...

You go, Brian. If ever there was a place for snark, it's politics. They, they... (sputter, sputter...) No. No. I'm not going to get all wound up here. It's the season of peace and forgiveness. Right?

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Yep, shoulda moved to Canada and become a Buddhist this year...

Akelamalu said...

In church???? :0

Wishing you and yours a Very Happy & Healthy 2012 Brian. :)

AngelMay said...

Snarky truth! I love it!

Sue said...

That would not sit well with me at all. Not even a little.

"/

Maggie said...

:O! Never seen you write something like this! Witty I like it!

Lisa Golden said...

I am soooo slow. And then I burst out laughing so hard I snorted.

Vodka Mom said...

oh Brian, I never, ever, EVER bored when I come to visit. Frankly, I'd like to pull up a chair, light up a small cigar, and listen for more....

yellowhousecafe said...

OML, love when you get political...very clever! You should be in Des Moines...feels like we are voting for Pres...peeps holding signs on every corner, kid ya not! Happy New Year!!

kj said...

OMG in church? sigh. i second walking man's suggestion.

i don't know where you live, brian, colorado springs maybe? but i'm always glad to know an underground railroad fighter walks among the rightous.

i hope to visit you a bit more in the new year. and maybe you to me too. now that i know you're a writer and a poet i smile when i see your comments on many of our terrific mutual blogs


kj

manicddaily said...

I really really hope that you are joking here. K.

lori said...

Ugh, so uncomfortable. Politics and religion, the perfect blend of awkward. Good one.

Shadow said...

quite the political satirist...

Lydia said...

Keep me outa that church! I read your reply to AJ and just shook my head to realize this is based on (sick) reality.

Yes, this is snarky and so unusual. Can't quite describe this but there is an "electrical interference" feeling to the whole poem.

Just in case no one in church or around your town has wished you this: Happy Newt Year.

Deborah said...

Very clever! :o)

Hope you have a wonderful new year x

Dave King said...

Oh, superb, so superb.

BLOGitse said...

Happy New Year 2012!

Hilary said...

Ahh this made me laugh. :)

Fred said...

The snark was fun and after these past few days being sick I certainly needed it. Nice piece. Thanks

Taylor Boomer said...

it's better separated, church and state.

batman is cool.

william said...

a very amusing tale Brian, and I sure liked batman lol...

Marla said...

I love Jesus. Jesus loves Newt. I still would rather vote for a chimpanzee.

How I have missed you,Brian. Funny how we have yet to meet and I still think about you and yours as if we had.

Heres to a great year filled with love, laughter and lots of snark.

Marla said...

I love Jesus. Jesus loves Newt. I still would rather vote for a chimpanzee.

How I have missed you,Brian. Funny how we have yet to meet and I still think about you and yours as if we had.

Heres to a great year filled with love, laughter and lots of snark.