Seven hours in and near midnite, and I am stuck
in a bad B movie, a blend of Harold and Kumar,
meets American Pie with some High School Musical
blended in for good measure, as hundreds of pub-
escent and pre-pub adolescents curb the street,
strong, viril and young, except me, to get the game
and gain valuable experience killing the enemy
in our latest brand of Modern Warfare. The Navy
is here to recruit the best and brightest, Papa John's
to feed them, and parents, for those that can't buy
an M for mature game on their own, complain about
the cold as the kids run in and out of traffic
and keep saying
"It's the funniest thing ever" after each story
because everything in life must be epic to truly
count or be YouTube recordable then badged on
Facebook, a conditioned response to inadequacies
passed on generation to generation and they don't
mind telling us everything, the budding poets
in the group adding colorful metaphors, even I
have never heard before
"My mother is working the polls tomorrow" get's
a snicker after he drops his response "Mom, I
knew things were bad but has it come to this?"
but she's no dancer and it's not a slight at pol-
iticians, but underlying they know the pinch
of economic conditions
Cheryl's dad if you are reading this, invest
in a shotgun & vet your daughter's dates better,
and Natalie, your armpits are distressing the boys,
get yourself a razor, Arctic Monkeys are the new
scene, some British Indie music thing and if that one
adorable delinquent with the green laser pointer
doesn't stop shining everyone's crotches seeking
attention i might engage in
some genetic cleansing---
but I know, when my head
hits the pillow tonight I will sleep well,
and don't need to release the spoon
on this grenade.
When this one kid out of nowhere says, "I met
the guy that is going to cure cancer," and pins drop,
"He's in my math class, got 2300 on his SAT
and has it written on the front of his notebook."
cause there's hope yet, it's the funniest thing ever
OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets - Where it is not the size of your verse, but what you do with it. A weekly gathering of poets from around the world to celebrate poetry at all levels. Write something, come join us. The ever illustrious and always artistic Natasha Head will be hosting.
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113 comments:
So true! Everything has to be the next best thing. Great post. I smiled the whole way through.
I hope he does it...
=)
yey..love it...love those conversations...love that in all the fast living and the weird things they sometimes do and say, they care and they are serious in their own way..and because there is hope, it's the funniest thing ever...good on you that you connect so easily to them..that's a gift and something precious
yey..love it...love those conversations...love that in all the fast living and the weird things they sometimes do and say, they care and they are serious in their own way..and because there is hope, it's the funniest thing ever...good on you that you connect so easily to them..that's a gift and something precious
Lol at the humour in this piece. She needs a razor so she can keep/stop distressing the boys. Either way the razor works, don't you think. Just my twisted take on it. Really cool...nice flow, Brian.
By the way, you've been nominated for the perfect poet award at Thursday Poets Rally.
I hope Cheryl's dad is reading. I liked the beat, I could dance to it. I give it an American Bandstand 9. :)
What a trip. Funniest thing ever indeed. The differences between today and tomorrow and yesterday are so apparent if you stop to look at it. Lots of fun snark in here. Love the Helter Skelter reference in there, not sure if it's in the original but I know Bono says it in their version. Cool write, thanks
this is great!
Claudia nailed it--and this is a slo-mo reality vid in itself--very YouTube-able. You stay young when you hang with the young--either that or you age really rapidly. ;_)
Haha, funny. Very apt description and shotgun bit is very funny. I feel for Cheryl's dad.
On a side note, I actually really liked the first Harold & Kumar (not so much the second) and am hopeful about the third.
That movie sounds painful... one of the worst combos I could think of.
I don't know high school kids but I do remember when the navy was recruiting friends and friends of friends. They would recap these stories and conversations as though they were the most amazing experiences ever. And maybe it's a good sign that they are so enthusiastic...
Brian...this was fantastic! Your finish sums it up perfectly, because despite it all...there is indeed always hope! And I'm a fond believer in write it down...make it happen! Let's hope that SAT score has got some momentum behind it...one day he may well be beyond facebook and youtube worthy!
Oh I loved this one. Great stuff!
I think in about 20 years they will be in your place such as our parents were once. Everything constantly evolves and change is enevitable.
And hope does seem to be eternal with the light always lit. Truly a gift you have to be able to understand, while most of us just wonder why they have a need to share every aspect of their life that someday they will hopefully not be too embarrassed. Mortified will be the norm and the courts filled with change of name requests but there will be no escape as we all know.
God bless.
This line is great, Brian:
"as hundreds of pub-
escent and pre-pub adolescents curb the street"
I read the whole thing in Ani Difranco style and voice (I kind of sound like her when I want to), and it was superb. You should really send this to her; she might want to record it.
The Facebook/YouTube section was spot on. Everything MUST be epic to truly count. That is so true. :)
Mother's working the polls. Ha! You're too funny.
When will the linkup be posted, B? I never catch it at the right time. :)
You capture their world really well, Brian. Great write.
what a delightful piece,
it is good to share enthusiasm from the youth.
Happy Tuesday!
The next thing must outdo the previous one...that is so true... this line really stood out to me: "life must be epic to truly count"... excellent observations, Brian.
The third stanza says it all. It's scary to think what will be next.
Love the wonderful observations and the insight into the world of teens! I think I may know a couple of those kids myself, or perhaps their distant cousins. Thanks for sharing this interesting and fun piece.
And my granddaughter has written somewhere (neatly and unobtrusively) "I will change teachers and teaching; I will make the world realize that on them rests the future of society" for she has believed it since she could walk, and the hope of the world always lies with the few. The sun still shines, and I believe.
telling tails... and well... hope to the future
does it just pour out like this or do you meticulously edit and labor?
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
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like how you captured the insane moments and mayhem..until the last verse...these things are tragic to hear
well i am hopeful too ~
hahah... sounds like a fun day :P
Keeping holding that spoon that holds the grenade...a neat write that involves the reader. Thanks Brian!
great post! sorry it has taken me so long to stop by. but now that i have im happy i did! love your humor and realism. life...ahhh. sweetness!
Ha, that does sound like the worst movie ever. I love the word play between "pub-escent and pre-pub adolescents". This piece has some amazing flow and depth; you've given me a lot to think about here.
I love the twist at the end...there is hope.
I love the twist at the end...there is hope.
Some of my favorite times when Taylor was this age...before he could drive...was to drive a van full of friends to a football game or to drop them off at the pizza place. I'd just drive and listen to 10 kids talking at once. Lots of goofy stuff...a few profound thoughts...all entertaining.
Great way to utilize those snippets we writers often collect. And this poem is so right on...it's so now for about 5 minutes and then they/we move on to the next laugh/big thing...
Fun read!
Life does have it's smiles at times. Kids do think they are the only ones with a brain and know so much more than we adults can ever know. One day when they're adults too, they will be right. :)
Love the last piece too.
Smart craft Brian, slick switch ending "release the spoon on this grenade" - great image bro
Even when there are 50 cpu controlled guys chucking grenade after grenade at you, yeah I guess there is always hope, run like crazy to the next check point..haha
Always say it's the next best thing
When really same game just different title ring
Was such a fun B movie, I just hope no pies were umm examined in the making of this verse..haha
A great write, Brian. "My mother is working the polls tomorrow" ....nice word play and double meaning....and so true how people always use these lines...it's the funniest thing ever. :)
Cuts like a razor carelessly used on Natalie's armpits!
Very humorous...and so very true!
You have a wonderful sense of perception:)
I'd like to think that things haven't really changed all that much. I don't recognize these denizens of the new world and seldom understand their language. But, hey, it's the funniest thing ever. I guess.
Pins dropped here too at the end - maybe that kid will find cancer's cure... and maybe we'll find a way to kill the other kinds of killing too...
Oh my, you nailed it bro...and I be one of the parents...
As always, just great.
You sure know your kids.
Oh, Brian, you are ever wonderful and speak so well for so many of us, especially me at an ancient 67, I am getting more and more out of touch with today's youth, especially since my job ended and I am not so much around them ( a blessing, perhaps? ).
I will, at long last and after changing the date three times now, leave for India December 1st. I hope, after four months now, I will return refreshed and with a new outlook on life.
This. Is. Perfect!
I love it, and I love reading things in this carefree style, it's how mine always end up.
Brilliant.
Epic.
Yep Brian, that's the way it is.
generations are different, as were we.
funny story ..I laughed reading it.
thanks for sharing.
Whatever you're smoking you need to send me some... :)
As always, my perception of what you write is clear, precise and so entertaining.
Youngsters are the same... and different. The years change. Technology changes... but youth gets the first piece of cake. It's chocolate and it's not stale.
Youth, even inside the old, lives forever...
love me some hope.
this is a true, perfect slice of life. love it. and them. because you gotta love them.
Is each new generation having a different definition for the word epic? My son sure uses it a lot more than I did ;-)
I always say, you see everything. You see EVERYTHING.
Sit in the middle of any mall and I'm thinking this is kinda what you'll hear!
Love this, great work!
Loved this! :)
You're on a roll! Tell it like it is! I'd love to hear this one read in a real open mic.
Brian, Happy to be back for a visit. Don't know if you'll find it flattering or not (it's intended that way), but this reminded me of Bill Cosby (my favorite comedian). Love, love, love the ending. Big fan of hope, since it doesn't come around me very often.
Hope is a pimple-faced kid. You knocked me out with that ending.
Sharp verse encapsulating the cornucopia of strange that emanates from the young. As you know I mentor and teach young people to sing and find myself in all manner of odd conversations and continually get referred to as old. Fine write!
I hope that kid is right!
I struggle so to keep up with my daughter and her friends...epic fail!
I struggle so to keep up with my daughter and her friends...epic fail!
And this one time at Band Camp....
Great write, as usual.
Yep, the pressure's there for every word/action to be more epic then the last. The way you've addressed it here is funny because you've tapped into the moment so well- still sobering to think of what the future will bring...he has it written on the front of his notebook, you know...must be true.
Dear Brian
Oh you summed it up all so nicely the frivolous things we all do some time or the other and then you don't have to release that spoon, balanced tentatively... because tonight you can sleep well, exhausted...
I enjoyed it all..
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-tears-in-rain.html
Very clever coming and going here, in and out of the conversations--the charm, the annoyance, the cliched, the unusual-- Wonderful how you work the dialogue into the poem. K.
I love it! The conversations and the way its described. I am going tsk tsk in my mind...and still breaking out into chuckes. get yourself a razor - heh! :)
Lots of fun in this piece - you seem to have captured the youth of this day so well. I had fun reading your words and felt like I was there with you...."it's the funniest thing ever"!!!
This is so true the generations always look at the next with disdain and yet somehow they survive and we survive and great things happen even in times of deepest despair. It almost seems that the greatest light comes out of the greatest darkness :)
"wonneful, wunnerful"..
thanks for the great post.
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
We may not understand it all...but yes amongst the weirdness tomorrow's genius is just waiting to be unfurled...another great verse!
Epic! ;-)
This was so witty and humourous and hopeful!
I love listening to other people's conversations. Or - I used to. These days so much of it seems vapid and hopeless.
I like your ray of hope at the last minute... :)
Yeah, the current stuff is always "better," innit?
Yeah, the current stuff is always "better," innit?
Oh the irony of this write, love it... which is more honest, the exotic dancer or the politician -ouch!;
Sad fact (as you know) the best and brightest (poorest) recruited to be used (hopefully unscathed) to afford a degree, so MAYBE they have enough to hit post-grad to cure cancer...*sigh* dying laughing...
brilliant poetic commentary, as always, Brian ~
If he wrote it on his notebook, it MUST be true! LOL. Yep. That guy is going to cure cancer and every video I've watched today is the funniest thing ever. :)
..i find it a bit weird and unusual but i like it... i had so much fun reading this Brian... thank you!
Good day!
~Kelvin
Excellent, excellent, excellent.
Is there anything you have trouble writing about? Just asking!
Great thoughts capturing a new perspective.
Teenagers seem to be another breed! Wouldn't it be wonderful if he could cure cancer some day! And some of the cancers affecting our society.
This is amazing! I loved how you have mixed everything up and put a rhythm to it!
great one :)
my gosh and wow...love he new pic very Chief like;)
Glad you didn't release the spoon, Brian...It shows you hope...and there is hope...Claudia said it all...it is a precious thing, I agree, to see through all this and still honor the young..this is one of your most thoughtful works, Brian...I like it alot. xxx
Talking and listens to the young adults of today is scary. Not for the faint of heart! But you are so right...out of the blue comes a profound observation!! Blows your mind!
Sleep well? I think I can!
Hugs
SueAnn
It sure is the funny, like the talk and humor.
brilliant start to my day ....thank you for a great tale of modern society and the smile you've left with me ...x
Reading this and smiling! The end was unexpected which gave me the complete, tickling the soul, sweet taste ...
And yes, funny or not, hope should be out there! Always!
I love the juxtaposition in this - just as I got comfortable with the mediocracy in the conversations, you throw a grenade in. Best thing ever? Nah, ;) but damn good. :)
Wow, this is amazing because the other night as I came home from the airport there was this long line curling around the Game Stop and my husband and I wondered what was going on. "Must be some new game coming out". Then we found out the next day. Now, thanks to you, I know the rest of the story, Mr. Harvey. :-)
And that kid that is going to cure cancer - somebody get his phone number.
sounds scarily real..whichever continent you're sitting on.. but you've let your connection also speak for the future..
I'm hopeful too..
Hey Brian =) This is such a slice of my life. I love being the driver for teens and hearing what they have to say when they think no one is listening. Good listening Bri ... and even better how you captured it.
I am the 96th commenter! I am just wanting to say thank you for this, I loved it and read it twice.
lol, brian-- you paint the funniest picture (ever!) I can overhear the conversations from here. love the ending on a note of hope.
see ya Friday :)
Awesome! We could put you anywhere and you'd bring us right there with you with your writing. And I love your humour :)
Your writing gives a definite slice of life. So much going on in this poem: observations, conversations. And who knows?? This kid might just be THE one to cure cancer. It all starts with a dream.
Oh crap. Now I'm worried about what boys might think about my armpits.
This was a fun poem!
What a perfectly captured microcosm of America right here. Razor-sharp observations. Thank God for hope.
I really enjoyed reading this. I felt myself there, standing in line, wondering where we are headed as a society and what is really important in life. I could clearly see this moment, captured beautifully.
A blast of modernity (culture shock!) to say the least. Such a fast-paced and changing world...always got to have and got to see the next great item, don't we? And they certainly just keep cranking them out...just in time for the holidays, you know? Amusing bit of snark in this - and hey, here's to the kid whose going to cure cancer...
Brian--very cinematic and filled with great wit. I guess there always is hope, I just wish it would get here before the last minute...very good writing.
But hope is so 2008! And a planet is dying while video games are played and Papa Johns goes down, same as always, and there's talk of curing cancer instead of preventing it, because prevention would be too costly to the corporations and require our way of life to change too much. Lemmings, we march to the sea jovially, generation by generation, still doing what we have always done. Laugh. But it isn't working anymore. While gender-based standards of armpit beauty are enforced, the life we have known is melting around us all, virtualizing. The real is becoming electronica -- books, bookstores, what else? Will these kids have virtual jobs? Virtual houses? Virtual transportation? Of course they already have virtual relationships! Occupy Teenaged Wasteland!
I could almost smell the hormones and then you drop the cancer curing bomb at the end and I'm propelled into hope in the future. I know of a 17 year old who succombed to cancer last night. Hope this boy genius hurries up!
scene by scene, i enjoy life through your eyes. it'd be a tragedy but for the sly humor. the inside filling to this is so good.
It's funny. My son had a friend over the other day, and he was so different around him. They were saying things like, "yeah, yeah, yeah, bro," and I was thinking, oh my. What is my son like when I'm not around? Kids crack me up, but despite all the attempts to seem different or to fit in, there's always hope for the future (even through the hyperbole).
Another insightful and accomplished poem. A visit here never disappoints.
Wonderful prose highlighting the generational gaps and ties that we find. Perfect touch of humor as always, I give him a challenge, I believe my young cousin will be the first to cure cancer, she is now working for the mayo clinic post grad and I am very impressed and proud by her determination...we got more than 1 to see a shine in I believe :)
I hope he finds a cure mate, even in the naughties, we are still unable to find a cure for this dreadful disease. great post.
I think I'm right back in school again. I even knew someone like Natalie. Great poem, Brian.
I think that you are great at your job. Encourage them all because who knows what they can attain.
The military recruiting makes me cringe. Rather a college recruiting them.
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