Sunday, November 13, 2011

160/PJ - taking responsibility


The toothbrush sits
head slightly turned
waiting for you---

to open your mouth

she wont press
just leave you

the choice

bacteria slowly eating
your need for her

What can can you say in 160 characters? Say it, then tell Monkey.

Also for Poetry Jam, whose prompt this week is still life.

55 comments:

Monkey Man said...

Such deep double meaning with this 160. Thanks for playing along, Brian.

Helen said...

Oh yes! Double trouble!

Alice Audrey said...

But isn't that a form of passive aggressive? After all, simply by being the toothbrush must remind you to brush.

Hilary said...

Wow.. very good. I think I'll go brush now. ;)

Pat Hatt said...

I think I need to go brush my teeth again now
Bacteria just gave me an ewww feeling some how..haha
Of course the deeper meaning the cat can see
Have to keep at it or the one may flee

DJan said...

I cannot stand to have my teeth missing their old friend, the toothbrush. Made me run my tongue over my teeth to see if I needed a visit. :-)

Claudia said...

smiles..is that how you convince your boys to brush their teeth...? great metaphor for taking over responsibility far, far beyond brushing teeth..

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Going to go hang out with my own toothbrush ....

zumpoems.com said...

Excellent! What a great closing line!

"bacteria slowly eating your need for her"

Concise and exquisitely done!

Anyes said...

The power of the toothbrush...Never quite thought of it that way :-)

Suzy Q said...

Fantastic double meaning there!

bodhirose said...

Just this week have to go to the dentist in spite of all that brushing!

Daydreamertoo said...

Very deep and full of meaning. Wonderful, once again Brian.

Mary said...

Excellent, Brian! (I don't like to think about bacteria on toothbrushes though. Ewww.) Photo enhances your words. Thank you for visiting Poetry Jam!!

Angelina said...

I just blushed, but after that one, I feel I still need to brush some more.

Valerie said...

How odd, I brushed before I came here. Are you now into telepathy?

Christine said...

Brush yes, but do you floss?

Eva Gallant said...

Why do I find myself running my tongue over my teeth right now?

Heaven said...

did you mean to open *your* mouth ?

i like the meaning behind the short poem...i think i need to brush again ~

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Best poem about toothbrushes that I've read all week.

Kris said...

Bacterium and love go hand in glove!

secret agent woman said...

Somehow this makes me NOT want to brush my teeth.

e said...

This is wonderful! How was Richmond?

ayala said...

:) nice!

hedgewitch said...

Responsibility is all about the little things--and there's always some decay when you blow if off.

lifeisaroadtrip said...

OhMyGoodness - so much said in so few words. I want to know if you used it! :-)

Sue said...

Neatly done, Brian!

=)

Ruthiey said...

Liked your twist. :)

Tara Miller said...

You always say so much in so few words, love! Aaaah, choices - no need for words - most of the time we know the right choice to make, just have to take that step.

Magpie said...

Simply said...

missing moments said...

Wow ... love it! Glad I just brushed!

Mama Zen said...

Eeewww! Wonder if this would help me get my kid to brush . . .

Caty said...

something simple as a toothbrush turned into a lesson of choices :)

Daniel said...

Smiles ...

Brian Miller said...

hey that is my line...smiles. happy sunday daniel...

farmlady said...

Brushing my teeth has taken on a whole new meaning.

adeeyoyo said...

Very clever, Brian...

Dave King said...

You can say what you said. It is all that was needed. Well done.

SueAnn said...

Ooooo! Bacteria eating your need for her...now that is raw!!!!
Great 160!!
Hugs
SueAnn

5thsister said...

Wow...all that from a lonely toothbrush. Who knew?

blueviolet said...

Who knew brushing your teeth could get you thinking?

the walking man said...

If you go long enough the bacteria will grow and then you will have a green steak to gum your way through.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

Wonderful post Sir Brian!

Have a great week ahead...

JJRod'z

AmyLK said...

guilt even from a toothbrush..... Love it!

izzy said...

Nice ! Thanks- (I was away but I am going to read these anyway)

Lorraine said...

I'm not letting bacteria hurt me again, I love this and I have missed you

The Noiseless Cuckooclock said...

wholesome 160.

everyone shall brush twice a day.

Fred said...

Brush-a, Brush-a, Brush-a. Nice write, thanks

Margaret said...

ha! You can choose her or a long visit with the dreaded dentist! We all know the dentist always likes us to stay a long, long time :)

Heather said...

this is cool....just brushed!

Syd said...

Where are toothbrushes on the list of the things with the most bacteria? There has to be a top ten list--shopping carts, door handles, etc.

Goofball said...

ok, let me ready that a couple of more times to ensure I catch it all.

blackswanpoetry said...

wow that was really creative... Nice work man

Goat said...

I love your short poems. Just the essentials. Shadows of former lives vivid.

lori said...

I have been sitting here reading this one again and again. This will be added to the list of favorites (I know, I know. The list is basically everything you write, but I mean it every time. I have to use my worn out phrase again; I love this one.)

:)