thrum, thrum
my neighbor
waves his blower
piling then bagging
leaves until his kingdom
is immaculate
smiling at himself
he enters his house,
door clicks,
wind howls, laughter,
as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine
and tomorrow he will
once again, engage in
futile attempts to superficially
change the nature
of things
& kings
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Over at dVerse Poets, emmett wheatfall introduces us to new concepts in poetry for Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft.
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101 comments:
Oh, this is a good one! I gave up the leaf battle long ago ... I just hire it done!
Love it, Brian...
Some things are, indeed, beyond our control.
;)
This is too good brain.. And I love the form of poetry too. one of the best 55..
Someone is Special
i say "freedom for the leaves.! my kingdom is messy and irregular and full of leaves and laughter...hey - he may be related to my 5 x 5 /precision neighbors...smiles
Brian...this is hard! I normally don't like to read others before I write my own, but I'm looking for direction. Thought this a wonderful write, as always, and I think the end rhyme is perfect. It's not expected, and not at all forced. You didn't NEED it to end the piece, I think in this case, the piece demanded it. Smart stuff. After this and Claudia's..why, I think I just may go to bed...:{
His blower, huh? ;D
Fun write, Brian. I love that second to last stanza with the "vagabonds".
I say you have to pick your battles; that's one I chose to forego!
Love it. Great story Brian. Pure and clean, uncluttered. No pun intended. Really like the fact you ended the poem with the word "King." It made the poem awesome.
They just come in a seemingly never ending supply this time of year. Pick up a rake, though, it's good exercise.
Love this. We used to do stuff like that as kids all the time- having the leaves bagged makes the piece even better though, as when I was young they'd all be piled up at the side of the road. Brought back some memories there, thanks
Why don't people just wait till Spring?
I don't get it!
Loved your Autumnal 55 Son.
What a Rake you are...hehehehe
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!
too many kingdoms, too many kings, and no one really rules.
Brian - very good! I love how you put this together. A very enjoyable read.
hahaha see you get payback for the dog poo
As your leaves flew
And yeah pointless to pick up a rake
For more will come enough to fill a lake
And agree with tashtoo
Great last rhyme by you
what a funny little diddy.
hang the leaves!
T
stop spying on me!
it keeps him busy!
I like that little tale.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Haha... he ought to wait until they've all come down, silly man. Unless of course, he likes playing with his...ummm toys. ;)
i love neighborly rivalries:)
What an observation.
Are you leaves getting even with the neighbor for his dog's poop from a few weeks ago? And are those your leaves that blow against my fence. Here, we're the recipients.
Great...just perfect! :)
My old neighbor was like that and WE always waited for the last stragglers of our oaks to fall, and THEN we got to work.
By then he'd removed half of ours. But I think he rather liked the clucking superiority of it all. When my husband left, that first fall, I stood literally knee deep in the things, no blower, but armed with a rake and a spread.
After one load, my neighbor came without a word, took the rake from my hand and sent me to my room.
Two hours later, no leaf DARED touch my lawn.
You never disappoint, my good writer!
Ha.. it's a losing battle. I used to have a neighbour who was SO meticulous (in truth he was nuts) he would actually vacuum the remaining leaf particles from his lawn after raking, bagging and blowing. Then he'd get angry when other neighbours weren't as quick to rake their own lawns resulting in much like you stated. Nicely done, as always.
You must know my neighbor--I don't know what he does all summer, but from the moment a leaf hits the ground till the first snow, he's out there blowing it out his blower. Makes me almost wish I had kids to torment him with. If you were closer, I'd borrow. Great fall-king 55
This poem is vividly visual. Your concrete nouns lend it weight. I especially like this stanza,
"door clicks,
wind howls, laughter,
as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine"
So easy to see it all.
Namaste...........cj
...futile attempts to change the nature of things...Human nature I guess?
Excellent observation!
Anna :o]
I love that! We're doing that with weeds in our once immaculate yard. Weeds from someone elses field that have blown to ours and now blown to a neighbor's yard who is working so hard to control his kingdom!
Indeed, one can never win the battle with the leaves. They multiply like rabbits after all!
The neighbors across from us pay a company to keep his lawn immaculate. And ten minutes after their equipments leaves his property the wind sends more leaves. It is windy here!
hehehe I let the wind do the clean up. Sometimes I get the pile - sometimes it goes away. :P
So are you giving me full license to avoid all yard work now and forever? Say it is so!
like those last lines, leaves become nutrients, eventually, trying to attain perfection is a futile battle, (when you live on 10 acres)
I let the wind play with them.
sounds like futility though it is a good exercise ~
happy day ~
I love your story.
Excellent : )
So relevant for this season also.
Wonderful title here-- brings all together (as it blows apart.)
This makes me laugh! It is interesting how we make our futile attempts to change the unchangeable :)
Ah that we had the power to change things in the "kingdom."
Liked this a lot Brian.
Oh, this is awesome! I love your work! <3
haha..the exact same thing happens to us.
We watch the neighbors rake all day
and then watch the wind blow ours away.
When Taylor was little, he'd sneak over and jump in their leaf piles before they came back to bag them. lol...
I've lived this, but unfortunately, I was the one trying to keep things clean. Futile!
I've learned never to impose my will on a yard full of leaves; they outnumber me a million to one.
Thanks for doing Friday 55!
Mine's here. :)
yeah, some things are just meant to fall.
The leaf blower is the strangest invention to me, and it also puts out the most pollution among yard tools, which I'm sure is not that interesting to point out (Bill Nye taught me that one). It makes people feel so good to control their little spaces, but it's all an illusion. My favorite part is the vagabond leaves.
:)
...and perhaps he'll do a little swearing while he's at it. I hope not, though - after all, wasn't he a kid once too? Great title!
Brian- I can definitely relate... I especially like leaves as "hordes
of vagabonds."
I so enjoyed this - I now live in the forest where all this yard tending is illegal :)!
This is a CLASSIC! LOVE it.
I have to giggle at this one, love - it's so true! I prefer to enjoy the leaf covering, plus who doesn't enjoy raking them into a pile and jumping right in the middle!
I figure if you can see the grass a couple time a week, I'm doing good.
I was just thinking about how we try to change nature to fit into our manicured ways of viewing the world instead of letting nature teach us how to go with the flow (or the fall). :)
Never thought about it like that before.
Like most of nature, leaves don't lend themselves to a human notion of tidiness.
Some battles just can't be won :-)
Brian,
The strength of the wind invisible to the eye but strong. An innocent neighbor toiling in a never ending story! Great!
Hank
Bwahahaha, I love it!
This is great! I like to leave some leaves for the birds ... insects and all that ... food.
hmmm you are awesome always never change for anyone
You know how I am starting to feel about leaves Brian. smiles.
:-) every time I step outside the house I say 'hi' to the leaves on the ground & I enjoy the beautiful sound they make while walking in them ;-) happy weekend Brian!
It Is Good To Share Our Leaves !
Oh! I love it! My neighbor is retired and has a showcase lawn year round. Luckily, my house is upwind. He is kind enough to bag all of the vagabonds that drift into his flower beds for me. :) Excellent and a perfect smile to carry off to work with me.
Beth
Hate those leaf blowers. I used to listen to them every Saturday when we lived in suburbia. Now we and the squirrels just smile at the falling leaves. The acorns make a pinging sound as they hit on the deck and roof. Life in the country is fit for a king.
Every yard in suburbia's an empire 'til the wind rips off the His boxers. Then its just a pain in the ass Eden. Fun read. - Brendan
War of kings indeed! I haven't had to keep up with any Jones' in a while. Small worlds, small minds I always say...Thanks!
A good one! I take a similar pleasure with my yard-obsessed neighbor. And in the early summer, all of my vagabond dandelions float his way. Simple pleasures.
I have a neighbor just like that! Every morning at 8, he's out there cleaning up the leaves. So much for sleeping in!
Relevant for our October. Our one neighbor's house is for sale and he moved into another so his leaves collect in our yard now. So, I guess I am the guy representing futility.
Hehe. I love this imagery because we all know "that guy". :)
I am reading this while at my home desk with it's view of a maple that has lost just about all its leaves, except for one branch that seems to be holding out for snow. Good poem
You have such a creative way of making the mundane of life into poetry. I think about this same thing when I try to clean up my yard!
You're heartless, poor guy. I had a neighbor like that, said he loved to rake, it was a Zen thing. He got lots of meditation in living next to me.
Definitely a losing battle!
Ha! Another WINNER!Patient trees you have, to wait until the perfect time to shed the shade!
A few evenings ago I was taking a walk and some little kids in our neighborhood were raking the leaves and they were piling up and then they had such fun jumping in the big piles!
I loved watching them and loved this poem!
Margie :)
That is great - we gave up and sold our leaf blower at our garage sale a while back. :)
neighbor-relationships..
complex n weird yet unavoidable :P
Leaf blowers should be called "Moving My Crap To Someone Else's Yard" tools.
I have a neighbor just like this! If the noise of their leaf blower didn't drive me so crazy, it would be funny.
"as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine" ... ha ha ha!
love your ending :)
~Shawna (arbitrarymeaning.blogspot.com)
I shall send this to Ted next door.
Wonderfully fun turn with the laughter.
Love this, Brian...it reminds me of someone I know....
Brian, I cannot touch your talent. BUT I can tuck away your compliments to keep my winter fires burning. Thanks.
Is it wrong to feel a wee bit of perverse pleasure at the immaculate neighbours plight? =D My bad.
I love it! I always felt like Ma Nature was in charge of yard work in the Fall. :)
I raked leaves once. And found it fun.
Wish I had a blower.
Happy weekend, Bri!
xo
HAHA!!!I wish they will blow in the yard of the person that owns the tree that they fell from. lol sorry a little venting.
So funny. I guess futility is the goal of some. Not you. I'm glad.
The comma in your headline is a masterpiece of thinking.
My Dad was your neighbor. It was an unending battle with nature.
My yard is filled with vagabonds just waiting for transport on a breeze to that greener grass next door. I used to feel guilty about that.
It's not garbage, it's leaves.
Futile attempts. Makes people endearing. Sigh.
I never bother with my leaves...I just let them lay where they fall. But I only have a handful of trees, so it's not too big a deal :)
I'm a raker not a blower.....
Not to mention contribute to pollution with his leaf blower.
what a refreshing way to look at gathering leaves, lol, everyone despises it, at this time of the year :)
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