Thursday, October 27, 2011

55 - The fall, of kings

thrum, thrum

my neighbor
waves his blower
piling then bagging
leaves until his kingdom
is immaculate

smiling at himself
he enters his house,

door clicks,
wind howls, laughter,
as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine

and tomorrow he will
once again, engage in
futile attempts to superficially
change the nature
of things

& kings

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.


Over at dVerse Poets, emmett wheatfall introduces us to new concepts in poetry for Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft.

101 comments:

missing moments said...

Oh, this is a good one! I gave up the leaf battle long ago ... I just hire it done!

Sue said...

Love it, Brian...

Some things are, indeed, beyond our control.

;)

Someone is Special said...

This is too good brain.. And I love the form of poetry too. one of the best 55..

Someone is Special

Claudia said...

i say "freedom for the leaves.! my kingdom is messy and irregular and full of leaves and laughter...hey - he may be related to my 5 x 5 /precision neighbors...smiles

Natasha Head said...

Brian...this is hard! I normally don't like to read others before I write my own, but I'm looking for direction. Thought this a wonderful write, as always, and I think the end rhyme is perfect. It's not expected, and not at all forced. You didn't NEED it to end the piece, I think in this case, the piece demanded it. Smart stuff. After this and Claudia's..why, I think I just may go to bed...:{

my day in a sentence said...

His blower, huh? ;D

Uneven Stephen said...

Fun write, Brian. I love that second to last stanza with the "vagabonds".

Eva Gallant said...

I say you have to pick your battles; that's one I chose to forego!

emmett wheatfall said...

Love it. Great story Brian. Pure and clean, uncluttered. No pun intended. Really like the fact you ended the poem with the word "King." It made the poem awesome.

Monkey Man said...

They just come in a seemingly never ending supply this time of year. Pick up a rake, though, it's good exercise.

Fred said...

Love this. We used to do stuff like that as kids all the time- having the leaves bagged makes the piece even better though, as when I was young they'd all be piled up at the side of the road. Brought back some memories there, thanks

G-Man said...

Why don't people just wait till Spring?
I don't get it!
Loved your Autumnal 55 Son.
What a Rake you are...hehehehe
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!

zongrik said...

too many kingdoms, too many kings, and no one really rules.

Mystic_Mom said...

Brian - very good! I love how you put this together. A very enjoyable read.

Pat Hatt said...

hahaha see you get payback for the dog poo
As your leaves flew
And yeah pointless to pick up a rake
For more will come enough to fill a lake
And agree with tashtoo
Great last rhyme by you

aseedinspired.com said...

what a funny little diddy.
hang the leaves!
T

Goofball said...

stop spying on me!

Maggie May said...

it keeps him busy!
I like that little tale.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Daydreamertoo said...

Haha... he ought to wait until they've all come down, silly man. Unless of course, he likes playing with his...ummm toys. ;)

Ed Pilolla said...

i love neighborly rivalries:)

oceangirl said...

What an observation.

liv2write2day said...

Are you leaves getting even with the neighbor for his dog's poop from a few weeks ago? And are those your leaves that blow against my fence. Here, we're the recipients.

pandamoniumcat said...

Great...just perfect! :)

JeannetteLS said...

My old neighbor was like that and WE always waited for the last stragglers of our oaks to fall, and THEN we got to work.

By then he'd removed half of ours. But I think he rather liked the clucking superiority of it all. When my husband left, that first fall, I stood literally knee deep in the things, no blower, but armed with a rake and a spread.

After one load, my neighbor came without a word, took the rake from my hand and sent me to my room.

Two hours later, no leaf DARED touch my lawn.

Tabor said...

You never disappoint, my good writer!

Hilary said...

Ha.. it's a losing battle. I used to have a neighbour who was SO meticulous (in truth he was nuts) he would actually vacuum the remaining leaf particles from his lawn after raking, bagging and blowing. Then he'd get angry when other neighbours weren't as quick to rake their own lawns resulting in much like you stated. Nicely done, as always.

hedgewitch said...

You must know my neighbor--I don't know what he does all summer, but from the moment a leaf hits the ground till the first snow, he's out there blowing it out his blower. Makes me almost wish I had kids to torment him with. If you were closer, I'd borrow. Great fall-king 55

cj Schlottman said...

This poem is vividly visual. Your concrete nouns lend it weight. I especially like this stanza,
"door clicks,
wind howls, laughter,
as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine"

So easy to see it all.

Namaste...........cj

Anyes said...

...futile attempts to change the nature of things...Human nature I guess?

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Excellent observation!

Anna :o]

Blue Cotton Memory said...

I love that! We're doing that with weeds in our once immaculate yard. Weeds from someone elses field that have blown to ours and now blown to a neighbor's yard who is working so hard to control his kingdom!

Mary said...

Indeed, one can never win the battle with the leaves. They multiply like rabbits after all!

TechnoBabe said...

The neighbors across from us pay a company to keep his lawn immaculate. And ten minutes after their equipments leaves his property the wind sends more leaves. It is windy here!

MomsJournal said...

hehehe I let the wind do the clean up. Sometimes I get the pile - sometimes it goes away. :P

Daniel said...

So are you giving me full license to avoid all yard work now and forever? Say it is so!

Christine said...

like those last lines, leaves become nutrients, eventually, trying to attain perfection is a futile battle, (when you live on 10 acres)

rosaria said...

I let the wind play with them.

Heaven said...

sounds like futility though it is a good exercise ~

happy day ~

Life with Kaishon said...

I love your story.
Excellent : )
So relevant for this season also.

manicddaily said...

Wonderful title here-- brings all together (as it blows apart.)

Josh Hoyt said...

This makes me laugh! It is interesting how we make our futile attempts to change the unchangeable :)

Linda said...

Ah that we had the power to change things in the "kingdom."
Liked this a lot Brian.

Nick Rolynd said...

Oh, this is awesome! I love your work! <3

Betsy said...

haha..the exact same thing happens to us.
We watch the neighbors rake all day
and then watch the wind blow ours away.
When Taylor was little, he'd sneak over and jump in their leaf piles before they came back to bag them. lol...

Magpie said...

I've lived this, but unfortunately, I was the one trying to keep things clean. Futile!

Janna said...

I've learned never to impose my will on a yard full of leaves; they outnumber me a million to one.

Thanks for doing Friday 55!
Mine's here. :)

Kikit said...

yeah, some things are just meant to fall.

lori said...

The leaf blower is the strangest invention to me, and it also puts out the most pollution among yard tools, which I'm sure is not that interesting to point out (Bill Nye taught me that one). It makes people feel so good to control their little spaces, but it's all an illusion. My favorite part is the vagabond leaves.

:)

turtlememoir said...

...and perhaps he'll do a little swearing while he's at it. I hope not, though - after all, wasn't he a kid once too? Great title!

Laurie Kolp said...

Brian- I can definitely relate... I especially like leaves as "hordes
of vagabonds."

chromapoesy.com said...

I so enjoyed this - I now live in the forest where all this yard tending is illegal :)!

Margaret said...

This is a CLASSIC! LOVE it.

Tara Miller said...

I have to giggle at this one, love - it's so true! I prefer to enjoy the leaf covering, plus who doesn't enjoy raking them into a pile and jumping right in the middle!

Alice Audrey said...

I figure if you can see the grass a couple time a week, I'm doing good.

Sheila Moore said...

I was just thinking about how we try to change nature to fit into our manicured ways of viewing the world instead of letting nature teach us how to go with the flow (or the fall). :)

KB said...

Never thought about it like that before.

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

Like most of nature, leaves don't lend themselves to a human notion of tidiness.

anthonynorth said...

Some battles just can't be won :-)

kaykuala said...

Brian,
The strength of the wind invisible to the eye but strong. An innocent neighbor toiling in a never ending story! Great!

Hank

adeeyoyo said...

Bwahahaha, I love it!

Valerie said...

This is great! I like to leave some leaves for the birds ... insects and all that ... food.

Lorraine said...

hmmm you are awesome always never change for anyone

Cinner said...

You know how I am starting to feel about leaves Brian. smiles.

Birdie said...

:-) every time I step outside the house I say 'hi' to the leaves on the ground & I enjoy the beautiful sound they make while walking in them ;-) happy weekend Brian!

tony said...

It Is Good To Share Our Leaves !

eclipsingwinter said...

Oh! I love it! My neighbor is retired and has a showcase lawn year round. Luckily, my house is upwind. He is kind enough to bag all of the vagabonds that drift into his flower beds for me. :) Excellent and a perfect smile to carry off to work with me.

Beth

Syd said...

Hate those leaf blowers. I used to listen to them every Saturday when we lived in suburbia. Now we and the squirrels just smile at the falling leaves. The acorns make a pinging sound as they hit on the deck and roof. Life in the country is fit for a king.

Brendan said...

Every yard in suburbia's an empire 'til the wind rips off the His boxers. Then its just a pain in the ass Eden. Fun read. - Brendan

izzy said...

War of kings indeed! I haven't had to keep up with any Jones' in a while. Small worlds, small minds I always say...Thanks!

Emily said...

A good one! I take a similar pleasure with my yard-obsessed neighbor. And in the early summer, all of my vagabond dandelions float his way. Simple pleasures.

AmyLK said...

I have a neighbor just like that! Every morning at 8, he's out there cleaning up the leaves. So much for sleeping in!

Slamdunk said...

Relevant for our October. Our one neighbor's house is for sale and he moved into another so his leaves collect in our yard now. So, I guess I am the guy representing futility.

Rachel Hoyt said...

Hehe. I love this imagery because we all know "that guy". :)

sage said...

I am reading this while at my home desk with it's view of a maple that has lost just about all its leaves, except for one branch that seems to be holding out for snow. Good poem

redemptionsbeauty said...

You have such a creative way of making the mundane of life into poetry. I think about this same thing when I try to clean up my yard!

Nara Malone said...

You're heartless, poor guy. I had a neighbor like that, said he loved to rake, it was a Zen thing. He got lots of meditation in living next to me.

Mama Zen said...

Definitely a losing battle!

Steve E said...

Ha! Another WINNER!Patient trees you have, to wait until the perfect time to shed the shade!

Margie said...

A few evenings ago I was taking a walk and some little kids in our neighborhood were raking the leaves and they were piling up and then they had such fun jumping in the big piles!
I loved watching them and loved this poem!

Margie :)

Teri said...

That is great - we gave up and sold our leaf blower at our garage sale a while back. :)

Jyoti Mishra said...

neighbor-relationships..
complex n weird yet unavoidable :P

snohomishwriter said...

Leaf blowers should be called "Moving My Crap To Someone Else's Yard" tools.

Lolamouse said...

I have a neighbor just like this! If the noise of their leaf blower didn't drive me so crazy, it would be funny.

Anonymous said...

"as hordes
of vagabonds invade his
from mine" ... ha ha ha!

love your ending :)


~Shawna (arbitrarymeaning.blogspot.com)

Barbara said...

I shall send this to Ted next door.
Wonderfully fun turn with the laughter.

ayala said...

Love this, Brian...it reminds me of someone I know....

Tabor said...

Brian, I cannot touch your talent. BUT I can tuck away your compliments to keep my winter fires burning. Thanks.

kcoliver said...

Is it wrong to feel a wee bit of perverse pleasure at the immaculate neighbours plight? =D My bad.

hope said...

I love it! I always felt like Ma Nature was in charge of yard work in the Fall. :)

Jannie Funster said...

I raked leaves once. And found it fun.

Wish I had a blower.

Happy weekend, Bri!

xo

Help! Mama Remote... said...

HAHA!!!I wish they will blow in the yard of the person that owns the tree that they fell from. lol sorry a little venting.

Myrna R. said...

So funny. I guess futility is the goal of some. Not you. I'm glad.

Enchanted Oak said...

The comma in your headline is a masterpiece of thinking.

farmlady said...

My Dad was your neighbor. It was an unending battle with nature.

PattiKen said...

My yard is filled with vagabonds just waiting for transport on a breeze to that greener grass next door. I used to feel guilty about that.

Unknown Mami said...

It's not garbage, it's leaves.

Zeba said...

Futile attempts. Makes people endearing. Sigh.

Caty said...

I never bother with my leaves...I just let them lay where they fall. But I only have a handful of trees, so it's not too big a deal :)

Matthew said...

I'm a raker not a blower.....

secret agent woman said...

Not to mention contribute to pollution with his leaf blower.

william said...

what a refreshing way to look at gathering leaves, lol, everyone despises it, at this time of the year :)