Sunday, October 30, 2011

160 - viewing heaven in earthen frames


in the cemetery
behind my childhood home
gape two empty graves
like waiting mouths

crawling
in one once, i lay
on its dirt tongue
& for a moment
it ceased
to speak


What can you say in 160 characters? Say it, then tell Monkey.

I did grow up with a grave yard in the back yard and there were plenty of times we dared each other to crawl in one of the two open graves while the others waited out of sight. Perhaps to see if we made it back from beyond .

Happy Halloween!

79 comments:

California Girl said...

Perfect Halloween story.

Mary said...

Oh, I can picture this, Brian. It gives me chills. (And I can definitely see children doing something as you described....)

Adura Ojo (Naijalines) said...

Happy Halloween, Brian. I can feel the chill of your 160 from here. The beauty is that children tend to see what we adults dread, as fun. I bet you had such fun too, wondering if some monster would crawl out and grab...I can even imagine some of you making weird noises to scare the others.

Hilary said...

Erie.. just right for the season.

oceangirl said...

Chilling but beautifully described. Did the grave yard constantly has two open graves or there were two that permanently left open? If yes, why?

Mama Zen said...

Gorgeously creepy!

lifeisaroadtrip said...

I have a graveyard behind my house. The neighbors are quiet!

adeeyoyo said...

Just the thing children would dare to try... [giggles]

Fred said...

Awesome piece, I never would have had the guts to venture into a grave, no way. Very timely write, and so much said in so limited a space. Thanks

kaykuala said...

Brian,
Happy Halloween! Playing dare at that young age? It is a case of ganging up on the meek, I'm sure. Excellent verse!

Hank

Eva Gallant said...

Wow...that would have been gutsy! Great little poem!

DJan said...

Ooooo. Perfect for Halloween. I did that once, too. It was scary!

Pat said...

Gives me the chills to think of crawling into an open grave! Geez! What kids will do! Great 160 for the Halloween weekend!

Orang3 said...

great, 160 characters merged perfectly

Betsy said...

oh, that would be a really creepy feeling! Maybe in the daylight I would but at night? I don't think so!

nance marie said...

good write

Adam said...

great poem

hedgewitch said...

Whoa-- excellent excellent little chiller here, bri--with the dirt tongue...that must have been a very informal graveyard. The one behind my grandparent's house was well policed with people to keep us from going anywhere near the open graves, but we still played there, and dared each other to walk on the sunken ones,because those were from the day before concrete vaults and we might sink through the rotted wooden coffins...mwwaahahahaha...happy hollow weinie, friend.

Kat_RN said...

You were a brave kid. I find modern cemeteries with their flat markers that make them look more like golf courses, creepy. When you add solar powered glow in the dark crosses and plastic flowers left by people who feel obligated to come once a year, creepy becomes sad.
Old fashioned church yards with their history chiseled into headstones and monuments to love long past, fill me with peace.
Kat

Heaven said...

that is creepy ~

happy sunday ~

Liza Ursu said...

Brian, the imagery here is beyond!!! I love the word earthen.
A grave yard in your backyard? Too creepy cool!!!

Tabor said...

I would never be brave enough...but I am sure that there are others who have been!

Heather said...

Yikes! Perfect for Halloween...Nice and sppppooookkkyy.
we had tons of snow! we are having a party for my daughter today...nice, a scavenger hunt in the snow! cooky weather...xo

Anyes said...

Open graves...I guess they got to be filled...in the spirit of Halloween :-)

Pat Hatt said...

haha kind of like a Flatliners except open graves
Glad you never got sucked down into Hell's caves
Creep factor was high as well
As you delved into were the dead fell

anthonynorth said...

Perfect for the time.

somewhereamelody said...

"dirt tongue" strong image there! Very evocative of the season!

Ed Pilolla said...

creepsville!

Zuzana said...

Happy Halloween to you too dear Brian.;)
I recall passing a cemetery on my walk from school as a kid.;) Always felt there was an *atmosphere* there.;)
xoxo

My 2 Pesos said...

It's perfect. (:

Sue said...

Now that's creepy!

=D

Enchanted Oak said...

A very fine metaphor and wonderful concluding lines. You did well with the tight writing needed for the 160.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...
The image is beautiful...Because I can imagine you looking up at the starry sky...after reading your 160 poetic words which are..."haunting."
[Especially, with All Hallow Eve...approaching too!]

Thanks, for sharing...I hope that you and your readers have a very pleasant Sunday...too!
deedee ;-D

Monkey Man said...

That is hauntingly creepy. I had a friend that always challenged me to stuff, then never did it himself. What a sucker I was. Thanks for playing along with the Sunday160.

ipenka said...

Bit eerie but surprisingly...peaceful too?

Amazing that you can convey that with so little words.

Alice Audrey said...

That's entirely too scary.

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Fairly haunting, I like it.

Magpie said...

Oh, the fun things we do as children that give us strength as adults... facing those fears.
Happy Halloween!!

Claudia said...

oh i like the dirt tongue...and glad it didn't swallow you...happy halloween!

Maggie May said...

Thats truly a spooky Halloween story!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

emily wierenga said...

i like the dirt tongue too. and i love the title...

Ann (bunnygirl) said...

I love the imagery here, especially the "dirt tongue" of the grave.

TechnoBabe said...

Eerie. Funny how we use cemeteries for spooky stories.

sheila said...

ooooooooooooo creepy! lol. Pretty picture though! I've been out of commission awhile, lol. Trying to catch up

The Silver Fox said...

Yep, pretty eerie... and definitely something kids would do!

Maggie said...

Hey Brian! Thanks for stopping by! I know, it's been a while! This is been the longest I've been away from blogger. Work and school has kept me really busy! It's been sooo awful!! Never have I experienced such stress! Feels like my head is about to explode any minute!

How's the family? Happy Halloween to you guys!!

myheartslovesongs said...

creeeeeeeepy! great 160!

secret agent woman said...

I love how children toy with death without really having a sense of the finality of it.

Myrna R. said...

Perfect Halloween tale. I can imagine you as a little boy scaring yourself but doing it anyway.

Happy Halloween.

Just Be Real said...

Oooooooooo Boo---

Grave yard in the back. I kind of gravitate to grave yards myself.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

I woulda FREAKED out and worried that I would NOT get outta the open grave!

lori said...

Nice and spooky for Halloween :)I wonder if I'd be brave enough to crawl in the plot. Hmmm. The odds of being buried alive are quite slim, but all those scary movies would flash in my mind I'm sure if I tried this one. We used to run around a certain small-town cemetery as teenagers from time to time at night when we were up for scaring one another. Not much ever came from it but much laughter.

Jaime said...

creepy. you couldn't pay me enough to crawl into an open grave. (How many did you find your way out of???)

me said...

"on its dirt tongue
& for a moment
it ceased
to speak"

Wow. Slammin' ending. :)

~arbitrarymeaning.blogspot.com

Daniel said...

This gives me the creeps. Ugh, now I am wishing that I didn't stop by (smiles).

PattiKen said...

Now, this is just creepy. (shivering)

darkangelwrites said...

This quickly packs a punch.

Rebecca S. said...

The words seem to match the photo well, somehow. Strange, but it didn't give me a chill at all. It just made me think of a child's wonder at all aspects of life.

Christine said...

creepy, yet peering into the stars as I read this it felt... strangely comforting, weird huh?

Sh@s said...

Its only children who can dare to do it. Wish you Happy Halloween :)

Slamdunk said...

Wow, I do have something in common with you Brian (considering I have zero talent in poetry)--cemetery behind our home. Oh, well, it was your childhood home.

Ok, false alarm...

The Empress said...

Oh my gosh...you DID not.

I need to know: how many siblings? Boys? Girls?

I can't imagine living near a cemaetary.

As kids, we remember our mother looking at a house with a graveyard as the backyard.

We pleaded and begged her not to get it.

Don't know if she was pulling our leg, but she pretended to want it the more we screamed.

Haven't thought about that for years...

KB said...

So creepy. Happy Halloween.

Lorraine said...

Gosh what you do for your writing no wonder it always feels like the truth,I dig lol

Sweeter said...

Happy Halloween to you too MAN!
This was sppoky and sweet!

Friko said...

happy Halloween; don't go to near to graves!

Tara Miller said...

creepppyyy poem! I always enjoy your stories of when you were a boy - this one in particular becuase it's fun to see our boys playing in that cemetary now with their cousins making fun and creepy memories just like their daddy did! :)

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oooh, love this one! I suppose Halloween should be my favourite time of year but I prefer the friendly ghosts, rather than the zombified ones, lol.

CJ xx

snohomishwriter said...

Creepy in a great way.

william said...

ooo spooky lol, great fright write my friend. loved the graphic ;)

happygirl said...

Creepy, damp, and dank. Four stars. :)

tera said...

I like this. I like cemeteries a lot. There used to be an old, overgrown one not far from my house growing up, and sometimes I would go find a shady spot there in the summer to read. A few years ago some group or another cleaned it up and it lost all it's charm.

Laurie Kolp said...

Ooh... spooky. You're very brave!

libithina said...

Geez a graveyard in you back ~ the things we kids got up to hey ~ can imagine the two of you, daring each other :)) ~ Happy Halloween Brian ~ and duck apple time with your little ones ~ Lib x x

Jim Swindle said...

Very well-written, my friend.

Stafford Ray said...

What would you buy for a friend to celebrate a resurrection? Thankfully it doesn't happen often so we have no traditional present... or is that what chocolate eggs are for?
I can see you there, listening.

Lydia said...

Most excellent dare. Not one I would take up, however!

My post for Halloween was also about a grave.....not too unusual being Halloween and all, but I found a grave with a jack-o-lantern placed on it.

Josh Hoyt said...

Nice story. I don't think I would have crawled in.

Goofball said...

open graves give me chills...been at too many funerals already