skate
park
kid
thin w/ cappuccino skin,
nappy fro & whip cream grin
makes boards dance
'neath his feet
while life
creeps
& we
bounce checks
on his future
dreams
What can you say in 160 characters? Say it, then tell Monkey.
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64 comments:
Brian,
Some are good kids with dreams of their own. Only adults fail to understand 'and bounce checks on their dreams' Excellent!
Hank
Wow..wee I did it again! first on the list!
Hank
we've forgotten what a free spirit is, as we put on our mask and overextend our lives to keep the facade going
As we go about the 9 to 5
Lose a little of what it's like to be alive
Even if I'd fall flat on my rhyming ass
More should jump about on a board in mass
we struggle so much to make it all work....we could take a lesson from his carefree world. Another great one, thought provoking :)
so very true, and so fabulously narrated brian.
Wow! That was volume way past 160.
I love the feel of this, the gentle rhythm you've woven in here - and how it almost sounds as if we're listening to him skateboard.
Incredible poem.
LOVED the visual, but maybe 'cause I haven't had my coffee this a.m.
"whip cream grin"...I love that. The tone of this entire piece makes me smile, especially the part about bouncing checks on future dreams.
"...and bounce checks on their dreams." Wow!
Most memorable.
Very succinctly put, very neat 160.
First time for me with these 160s, they seem fun.
Nice write!
Free. Totally free!!
much
Seems like we're bouncing checks on everybody's dreams these days,
"/
"whip cream grin" - love that.
That is a lot of cold, hard truth in just 160 spaces. Really excellent, Brian.
Nice observation and love how you dropped a reflection in there as well. Very nice
Simple and beautiful. Great piece.
So much in so few words. You most definitely have a way with words!
I wouldn't change a word, Brian. But, oh, if we WOULD only change the truth of it... You done did it again.
I love 'whip cream grin'.
Loved this...everyone's dreams are looking dimmer these days!
It's whipped cream, right? But then it wouldn't have been a 160. ha.
160 words of cold hard truth.
Life's boards dance captured by a words master, thank you Brian :-)
This thought, bouncing checks on their future, has been occupying my mind as well. I have to believe that things will change, they always do. Whether for better or worse, we'll see.
You make me want to skate!
poignant message buried beneath these perfectly constructed words.
Still, bouncing or not, we have to invest in our kids' happiness. Thanks for playing along with the Sunday 160, my friend.
Hi! Brian...
What a very poignant piece...Thanks, for getting to the point in 160 characters.
[I hope that you, and your readers have a very pleasant Sunday too!]
deedee :-D
One of those skate boarders nearly chopped my foot off as it went straight into my ankle. I am quite nervous to be around them now.
Loved your description though, even if my trauma did come back.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Wow, you're on a roll with great pieces. That last line made my stomach drop. So true. I started watching a documentary the other night called Beautiful Losers about artists, and there was a lot of talk of skateboarders. Can't wait to finish it. I think you would appreciate it :)
I love this, B. You totally rock! This is my fave:
"thin w/ cappuccino skin,
nappy fro & whip cream grin"
Wow, a little bit of everything in here--including a political comment!
beautiful way to explain how to live. :-)
Someone is Special
i like the beat....and so much in so little...love that...also i can't help but wonder what life will be like for the kids in 20 years....hope they can cash in on their dreams!
There are two questions that present themselves to me here in this nicely written short piece.
1)What, if anything will we as a global society do to not take his future away?
and the second though a bit brutal but I do know a lot of young kids
2) Do they care, or have we trained them to just accept the shit they are already smelling even though they don't see the hugeness of the pile yet?
A Jump Start,
Way to Go!
Kids need to be encouraged to dream and discover their potentials.
Dynamic motion in this 160,
well done.
Preach it, brother! Amen!
Free and Fun 160.
I love the words you used to described this kid, I could just about see his photograph in my head...
Ahhh, to be care free and stress free. I really liked the visual description you gave us of the skater.
Playing off of what the walking man said - I also wonder if a majority of youth care about thier future? Have they been raised to settle for the hand they're dealt or not to settle and strive for their dreams.
Freedom ... very nice!
oh i love the whip cream grin... always cool watching the skaters fly....good morning..hope you had a great weekend...smiles
Excellent!
You definitely captured with such an eloquence the movement of a skateboarder and the moment in time while you watched him.;)
Have a great Monday dear Brian,
xoxo
I simply adore how to manage to express things in so less words..!!!
I doubt anyone could say more in 160 characters!
thin w/ cappuccino skin,
nappy fro & whip cream grin
These lines are about as good as lines get, I think.
Congrats!
Superbly written. We don't see too much skateboarding now.
insightful indeed! great collection of 160 characters.
Those jumping dreams rock like the movement all down this great piece, my friend!
I can't ever stop reading you but if you want to see me, just check the usual Words stuff and whatever, there is my new home address where you can see my photos
We all need to know how to fly!
thanks-
Love this, Brian. Some adult are so critical of kids, instead of encouraging them.
Wonderful rhythm and syncopation in this one! Love it.
Yes, it's too bad we gamble with their dreams. You give such a punch with so few words.
Good one Brian. I'm a real sucker for happy endings.
Ah, but to what will those dreams come... for if we fail to understand, we no longer look to the dreams of our youth and improving, improvising to change the world.
Love it when you bare bones the poem. It's all there. In abundance.
This is stark and brilliant, Brian.
such a freedom, so many possibilities ahead ... love it! happy days Brian!!
This one has a wonderful rhythm to it, but a sadness in its truth.
Brian, i have always admired those skate boarders....and i do hope each WILL have a good future. We can all hope and pray and dream.
Good one, Brian. You are getting good creative mileage out of the situation. Art always rises out of dust and ashes...so we must not despair the future!
Beautiful in a minimalist way and very, very profound - the final lines could make one weep.
I like the freedom of youth and have not yet traded in my blue jeans or ratty deck shoes for a suit and wingtips.
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