Saturday, September 24, 2011
Poetics: Twinkles at eyes edges
i carry my dreams
as notes folded, put in back pockets,
pressed as roses between pages of books
dog eared and creased from fingering,
late night sweats lingering perfume
as i rest them on my lips
i repeat them
i repeat them
in their remembering
worn thin they are feathers, first
to tickle rib cages seductively, then
my body smeared with sap, attached, they
become eagle's wings, gifts of the six
grandfathers that must be danced
on the earth to be seen, in-vision-
ing
i repeat them
i repeat them
in their remembering
for those that can no longer and not let Icarus
lead me into the sun, i am but a man
in jeans, my sandals bearing
the dust of my grounding, carrying
dreams as notes folded, in pockets, pressed
dancing to be seen.
The second true stanza borrows on the prophesies of the Lakota Sioux regarding the visions of the six grandfathers and gifts given for their nation, and how to become true they had to be acted upon.
I am currently at the beach. I stole my wife for a few days of R&R....really it was a big surprise for her birthday. So, if I don't immediately respond, I will catch up with you.
Today @ dVerse Poets, Joy Jones AKA Hedgewitch has a fresh poetry prompt for us, a fresh poetry prompt for us. Hehe. Doors open at 3 pm, see you there.
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102 comments:
Beautiful, Brian. I love the feel of this...carrying your dreams in your pocket...pressed as roses between pages of books...great lines in here, I love it all. I hope you and your wife have an amazing time at the beach...and happy birthday to her !!!!
:)
I like this poem so much, Brian. Love the concept of carrying dreams in back pockets. The last stanza is my favorite with sandals bearing the dust of grounding! Do enjoy the beach!!
Enjoy your time with your wife at the beach. I so like the poem. I collect feathers around our little hippie house. Some day will use them as part of our decoration.
I have folded notes and poems everywhere too! lovely writing, thanks.
breathtaking beauty in shared dreams...
may your beach time bring joy and refreshing and more love
these are beautiful words and I especially like your last stanza - bringing it back to yourself. Spread your wings and fly on your dreams!
Thank you for stealing me away for special time together, love. Can't wait to hit the beach in a few minutes. Oh, and for my hot doughnuts now ~ a yummy thank you <3
I hope you and your wife have an amazing time at the beach.:) Enjoy every second of this precious time together!
My favorite line is also the one about sandals bearing the dust of grounding...there is something very complex in that thought!
I like those notes folded in pockets, waiting to unfold. Thanks for sharing that bit of info about the Lakota Sioux.
Enjoy your time at the beach. Happy belated birthday Tara ~
Looking forward to poetics session ~
Enjoy your time at the beach and Happy birthday Tara. I am trying to figure out the prompt :) and I am not getting it :) But the poem is of course dreamy and fresh and about Native Americans :) I like the picture too.
Good job kidnapping the wife. But shouldn't that be adultnapping...but then on second thought that is what I do every day and no one comes up missing.
May the ancient prophecies all come to fruition soon, hopefully the cosmos is now lining up and then those dreams can be realized.
beautiful - just beautiful
I often find those folded notes in my pockets. Enjoy your getaway at the beach!
The Icarus reference was another great touch
Liked this one much
Have fun at the beach over the weekend
As the snow and cold is just around the bend
dreams pressed against my body is what keeps me alive and going, love this
isn't it kind of funny that dreams are so important but we have to work so hard to remember them? Great poem. Hope you have a fabulous time with your wife. :)
this write is a dream, amazing my friend,\\\
enjoy the beach, your wife and her magical smile :)
cheers
I kept a poem my husband wrote me when we dated (briefly) in 1994. I dated lots of other people, after, and even married someone else, but I kept that poem. I would rather live the words than read them, and I suspect the same is true for you...even as you're living the words with your woman, at the beach. God bless.
My notes are usually to be found in books... pressed there for eternity and the occasional read. Enjoy the beach, hope there's no sand in the birthday cake.
Between you and Claudia's post, I think I have the clue to the prompt later at Poetics.
Fresh poetry prompt, fresh poetry prompt.. okay repeating myself here :-)
Certainly one of my favs!
Have a great day with your beautiful wife, wish her Happy Birthday, mine is not until tomorrow. lol. beautiful words as always.....smiles.
I always try to remember the feelings and details of flying dreams. They are, by far, my favorite. This brought back the longing. :)
Beautiful imagery here, Brian.
Enjoy your time making new dreams with your lovely wife. :)
Lovely work. Dreams...ah,yes.
Such lovely writing. Enjoy your dreams - and the time at the beach!
I love the title and "in-vision-ing".
This reminds me of the quote "if we lose our dreams, we die". Have to keep our dreams.
Have a wonderful weekend at the beach with your sweetie. Those are dreams that come true : )
I love the poem idea. Putting it into the pockets..carrying it..
It's lovely :) Great work!
a true beauty brian. just loved the concept of carrying your dreams in your pocket.
Brian,
Pressed notes in my pockets
I'm beginning not to forget
Enjoy and have fun
What with a loved one
We'll wait when you're all set
Hank
Still have a way with words, not that I expected any less :) Have a good time at the beach, hope its warm and sunny!
without knowing the native narrative, the six grandfathers was a mystical symbol that really caught my attention and interest. i really like how you built the piece around that.
Hi! Brian...I really like your very poetic words here:
"i carry my dreams
as notes folded, put in back pockets,
pressed as roses between pages of books
dog eared and creased from fingering,
late night sweats lingering perfume
as i rest them on my lips..."
and the message here: "The second true stanza borrows on the prophesies of the Lakota Sioux regarding the visions of the six grandfathers and gifts given for their nation, and how to become true they had to be acted upon..."
Cont...
a lot of depth in those tender words...carrying dreams, fingering them until they become worn thin & maybe even start to die but then, there's new life, a new perspective and what we carried in those back pockets now carries us...wishing you that your dreams come true bri
I hope that you and Mrs. Miller have a very restful day.
I also want to wish Mrs.[Tara] Miller a very pleasant day and sending her a Happy Birthday! greeting too!
deedee ;-D
I love this brian--you do more than just write to the prompt, you use it to amplify and expand your thoughts (and mine) I hope you and your wife have a wonderful wonderful time, at the beach and off the beach. (See I can hint, too.)
Especially liked that middle stanza, and "My sandals bearing the dust of my grounding"
Such wonderful images -- dreams in a pocket...
I will never think of my back pockets the same way again. Beautiful and the repetition enhances it wonderfully.
Beth
have a fun time with your sweet dream
wow. totally powerful images.
Love the reference to native american heritage...and you've even touted Icarus...another personal fave that was the subject of many various reports throughout my schooling years...The title is wonderful, the rhythm of the read perfect, and once again I find myself envious! hope you and yours enjoy the adventure!
I think this is one of my favorites. I really do. Just wonderful. The beach must be doing you well :) and it is an amazingly sweet thing that you are doing for your wife. I hope you both enjoy your time away. Today is my husband's b-day, so we're off to celebrate in our own way. Maybe we can whisk away next year :)
Love the dream. And that you are away with your wife. Enjoy. :-)
This is beautiful. It kind of projected me into my own dreams.
Have a great time at the beach.
Wow... fabulous write!!!
It sounded very Native American to me in that second stanza, Brian. I could relate to keeping notes in my pocket. Beautifully done.
Have a nice few days away.
very nice work - happy hols
yep, my dreams are eagles wings too... carrying me... beautiful poem...
enjoy the get away with your darling wife.
This is a very satisfying poem... It kind of filled me up on many levels.
Brian, another poem to delight me.
Have a happy time on the beach, humdrum routine can wait for a day or two.
Is your life ever humdrum? There's so much poetry in it, I doubt it.
I love the riff on folded notes and facial wrinkles -- our history is mapped on the face, with all our dreams hidden within. Hope you enjoyed the beach, you lucky saps. - Brendan
Lovely. Enjoy your weekend, you wife thief you. At least it's YOUR wife that was stolen though. :)
Dreams are a mantra for me and one of my most used symbols in all my poems. I like the accessibility of this and the metaphor of Indian lore. Without dreams, and aspirations, we have not cardinal points..or arc of trajectory. Well done!
Great use of repition... I really like the first stanza. Happy Birthday to your wife!
I love it! Have a wonderful time at the beach! I KNOW you will! *wink, wink*
a magical dream come to life, and it was awsome, great write mate ;)
I don't know why my site is doing that to you Brian. I got rid of AOL, was using that to log in on my site etc but, somehow it was hacked and someone had gotten into the Amazon ad codes and altered them and I added the capatcha thingie b/c I was getting a stream of spam so realised it had been hacked. So I took out everything and switched to using Google Chrome. Changed the ads and every single password to do with Wordpress and my site host etc so I know for sure it's hack/virus free now, someone else said they'd had problems but they're not anymore. Which is why I asked you what browser you use. I don't know why it's just your comp it plays up. What a PITA!
I love this and have to echo (hey we're repeating right :)) Joy's comment about taking the prompt to another level. A stellar, gorgeous, and wonderful poem!
Ahhh, nice work. love that first stanza. BUT nicer work with your wife :)! Have fun you two!!
Holy crap, you are at the beach! Jealous jealous jealous. Enjoy your time and Happy Birthday to the Missus, Brian.
Beautiful images, Brian. I love the idea of carrying your dreams with you in your pocket, in books, then using them as feathers for wings. (and good for you for stealing away your wife for some R and R!)
I love this! Only I wonder why you didn't repeat your chorus after the last verse too? I sorta wanted it.
Lovely words that express your intention really well. I found once I read your explanation of the reason for the poem, that I already knew.
Love the idea of the dreams as notes folded. Great idea for a poem.
Nice write Brian, hope you and the wife enjoy that R & R, wink wink:) Got the references, thanks for confirming the Lakota reference, I was about to go look that up to see exactly where I knew that from- so time you saved me there- really enjoyed, take care
The folded notes enchant in their mystery, but I especially love...
"my sandals bearing
the dust of my grounding..."
The earthy connection is a simple, clever link with the gears of reality!
You poem expresses so much love the rose, the folded note, carrying a dream in your pocket,and especially the last stanza with sandals bearing the dust of grounding. This is such an excellent expression in poetry I love it so much such great work
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/24/loneliness-the-anger-of-lost-hope/
I love the image of carrying one's dreams like a well-worn photo of a loved one in the wallet.
Gorgeous :) simply gorgeous
I especially liked the first lines:
"i carry my dreams
as notes folded, put in back pockets,
pressed as roses between pages of books
dog eared and creased from fingering,"
Sounds like you rifled through my files.
Brian - I loved the rhythm to this piece. Good stuff. Hope you two enjoy yourself to the fullest.
Dreams in hip pockets!
I used to carry a photo-laden wallet. To show someone a picture of my best girl, I had to reach in my back pants pocket where she resided--"right next to my heart!"
Enjoy the hours you have together, Brian. Keep the flaps buttoned on those rear pockets.
Happy Birthday to your wife!
Very lovely, very! dear brian. Dreams and feelings... remembering requires some form of repitition, even if it costs us minor differences of the original.
Happy happy birthday to your wife! today's mine... I wish my husband would kidnap me too... lol
smiles,
deb
Great surprise for your wife...
do wish her from my end as well... Enjoy a lot and have a great day :)
Good for you and your sweetheart, Brian! Have a wonderful weekend!!
What a wonderful gesture...steal her away for some much needed time alone I am sure. We need more times like that for sure! Enjoy each other!!
Loved the poem...and your turn of phrases were so beautiful!
Hugs
SueAnn
ohhh gasp, Brian this is spectacular
Hey Brian...
Have fun n Enjoyy !!!
The first verse took my heart, it was brilliantly written.
As always... Nice read !!!
Beautiful! And I LOVE that you included that part from the Lakota, that is very cool.
Keeping your dreams close is a wonderful way to express it, Brian. Happy Birthday to your dear wife!
Keeping your dreams close is a wonderful way to express it, Brian. Happy Birthday to your dear wife!
Glad I am back and find you words still inspire and make me smile!
Nice write... kidnapping seems to run in your family... kidnapping seems to run in your family. Oh, we'll forgive you for not responding to our post immediately. LOL, such loyalty.
enjoy
Gorgeous write, Brian!
i am but a man
in jeans,
.. but what dreaming.. what remembering.. what dancing.. :)
Oh, this is so breathtakingly beautiful, Brian. Yes, we all carry our dreams in our back pockets, however worn they may be.
oh how we could all our lists in our pockets but tatty they would become ( well mine anyway ) thank you hope your having a wonderful weekend and happy birthday to your better half x
Hope you and your wife are having a dreamy time at the beach... lots of notes to put in back pockets, but even more time for your love.
Tucking dreams into your back pockets. I am sitting on a few dreams right now. Must take them out and kiss them, let them know I still want them.
Love the nature references. they are so soothing. Ur painting? Have a beautiful trip. The beach- I'm jealous!
"carrying
dreams as notes folded, in pockets, pressed
dancing to be seen."
Lovely! Enjoy your time at the beach; happy birthday to your wife!
I'm glad you stole her off to the beach....continue to carry those dreams, notes folded...and if you have no time to fold...unfolded will do :)
very nice...so nice I read it twice!
oops...don't have to rhyme here!
Hope the beach was fun
ok..now I'm done!
Hope your beach day was awesome. Happy bday to T! You better have spoiled her rotten (especially after her pampering of you not long ago!).
Nice flow in the poem. I like your metaphors. Hope you brought some sunscreen for Icarus
Oh, Brian, the way you used the actual word "repeat" in the repeating phrases is sheer genius. I also appreciated the lesson about the six grandfathers, and that last stanza -specifically
"my sandals bearing
the dust of my grounding" -
is wondrous.
Am touched that you found time to visit our blogs while at the beach. I'd call that being in flow, the capacity to gift your wife with a wonderful birthday surprise and still be there for us.
Happy birthday to your wife!!!
I bet she's still smiling...ear to ear.
This is wonderful, Brian. And somehow, it feels exactly just like what I call "beach inspiration" ought to.
Everything I write at the beach has a different flavor than my other work, and when I read this, I can almost feel the waves rolling in.
Hope you have a wonderful trip!
=)
I knew as I read this that there was a strong flavor of Native American lore in it. Nice.
You guys are really into "stealing" away. Very cool.
Nice to be at the beach. I hope that you enjoy your vacation. This is a good time of year.
The Sioux and all the Native Americans were sadly killed because of our greed. And so it continues today.
one of my favorite.
It is like seeing you showcase your own style of dish, very tasty and homely words.
The charm and confidence in this one are outstanding.
I love the first stanza....we all carry dreams....hope you had fun at the beach. i am slow getting around this week!
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