Tuesday, September 20, 2011

OpenLinkNight: Ahoy Matey!

Did you know yesterday was
international speak like a pirate day?
Maybe you missed all the "AAaarghs!"
and "Shiver me timbers" floating round
the office, I think Hallmark missed out
by not adding this to their list of 365
holidays in which we can come up with
a cheesy line on pretty cardboard

I did not know until my wife texted
and told me to "Walk the plank", which
would have a whole other meaning if
I had sent it to her, but

Really I am not like that and knew
better than to walk in the house and
bellow "Yo ho ho wench, let's plunder
some boo-tay?!?"

So I drew her a map.

With the promise of gold and jewels,
rings, bracelets and necklaces - she
just had to follow the dashes to the
big X where I took my shirt off
and said here is your treasure chest

She laughed,

And held up the permanent marker
that still lay on the bed, pondering
audibly how long that would take
to wear off

and I, well I doth protest much, "Avast ye! Aye
go on account in'a shadow of a hempen halter,
me heart-ies has no davies of Davy's grip
an me anchor's dropped but I can under
stand in this impermenant age how Webster's
linguistic lexicon of permenance might change,
as they add and drop words annually but if need
I will re-trace these daily wi' a wannion
until Fiddler's Green an beyon' nay ev'n thru keelhaulin'.
No piece o' eight will pay nor leave this Roger jolly
'cept you."

and if you want to know the rest of the story
shame on you scurvy dog, but
might I suggest you act like the fool
that once fell in love with your spouse,
lover or significant other
and just see fer yerself
land lubber.

It is that time once again where we ring the bell of poetry, throw open the doors and allow the masses to lay claim to the stage. Go write something poetic and bring it with you to the revolution. OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets Pub opens at 3 pm EST. See you there.

In case you don't speak pirate:

hempen halter - noose
have no davies - unafraid
Davy's grip - death
wi' a wannion - with a curse, think exclamation point
Fiddlers Green - pirate heaven
keelhaul - tied up and dragged across the hull's barnacles
piece o eight - a coin cut into pieces to pay small bills
scurvy dog & land lubber - both insults, but that is how pirates express their love, so really i do still love you. smiles.

110 comments:

Daniel said...

I once was told that you could update your Facebook page to be rewritten in "pirate speak". I forget how to do that, but this just goes to show that pirates are big business. Careful to not let Polly peck your one good eye or mess on your shoulder. Have a great day today.

Slamdunk said...

I think we celebrate that day everyday here thanks to the Backyardigans and their pirate episodes.

Have a good day and avoid the land lubbers.

David Allen Waters said...

I love this (He says, as he types patch on eye, parrot on shoulder)

walk the plank, ha :)

kez said...

cool really fun ....thanks for the smiles x x oh and if you see captain jack send him round !

kaykuala said...

Brian,
I've heard of 'landlubber','walk the plank' but nothing like those that you explained.I suppose there are certain conventions covering these which are spoken among their set of community speak. I remember once 'germsfields' referred to hospitals - hippy talk?

Hank

Ben Langhinrchs said...

I love it. Thanks for sharing.

Karen from Mentor said...

I sent my daughter a pirate flag at 8am. We spent the day sending a message back and forth with the subject line Rrrrrrrrrrr.

My favorite part of this story -and it all delighted me mind you - was the permanent marker. I hope that part is true. It makes it eversomuch more endearing.

*smiling hugely*

Nezzy said...

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is a big deal in my Son the Geek's home. They go all out. They all dress the part. I probably have the only grandsons and son who have worn eyeliner to church.

They decorate their house like a pirate ship flyin' flags high and all. They have scared neighbors and delivery men into shiverin' their timbers!

Have a blessed fun and beautiful day man! Arggggggggggh!

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Thanks for the pirate dictionary! Would like to hear that paragraph read out loud!

Treasure chest huh? Hmmm, too cheesy...Oh, wait I mean funny!

happygirl said...

You tell a good story, me bucko. I'm glad all be well that ends well and t' mark o' t' treaaye will wear off in time. Gold and silver and pieces o' eight be fine, but I'll take t' love o' a good man, anytime. :)

Claudia said...

this is so typical...the international pirates day was not international enough to make it to germany...so we missed out on all the fun...but i may still have time to learn some pirate's language and buy a permanent marker before my husband returns from work...smiles...loved it brian!

Fred said...

Great write Brian. Love the games you play at home. Really seems like you all have a blast just enjoying each other's company. As for the write, I love the mixed tone, the light-heartedness, sentimentality and o' yeah, the pirate stuff was superb- and I didn't know about National Pirate Day, so I guess it's educational too. Happy OLN.

Madhulika said...

we don't have any such day in India :(
It must be great fun (I can see that in your post) *smiles*
By the way.. thanks for giving the small and useful tip at the end of the post... i really helped me a lot :)

Eva Gallant said...

That was a fun read!

johnallenrichter said...

Tiver me shimbers! Truly enlightening! A language that should never die! ...or tried to be understood wihtout a mug of rum.... (I was hoping to see your definition of "Walk the Plank" down there with all the other definitions...) :) Very pleasing read.! Tuesday nights can be so serious sometimes... It's nice to put a little lighter piece in the mix.... Nice job Brian...

Pat Hatt said...

haha never knew of that day, guess the high seas didn't call me that way. And you create such a picture across the plank, that one doesn't really need to know more for it to rank, in ones mind. Except the avast yee land lubber's, who might still be fooling around with ummm rubbers.

Friko said...

Ay ay cap'n sir, the deed shall be done.

JeannetteLS said...

Aye, an' me matey of nigh onto 60 year an'me, we talked on the talkin' machine for forty mintues or more.

Actually, she speaks pirate and I speak Irish, but we have fun with it anyway. Some days, you just have to have FUN, period.

ipenka said...

Haha, very creative.

The "X" is still on there isn't it...

Teri said...

X literally marked the spot. :)

Hilary said...

Arrgh.. Speak Like a Pirate Day is becoming more popular all the time. I guess that X both marks and rates the spot. ;)

Mark Kerstetter said...

Harr harr, what ye been drinkin' Mate? I'll have a pair at the pub tonight.

Pat said...

Arrrgh! Gave me visions of a roll in the sack with Jack Sparrow! Sigh!

chromapoesy.com said...

Too many funny lines to pick them out - fully enjoyable and silly - loved it!

hedgewitch said...

I can only say...ARRRRRRrrrr. X marks the spot.

Brian Miller said...

lol, yes we can get too serious at times and take ourselves a bit too seriously as well...so just some fun today...

Heaven said...

I enjoyed the fun write.. I needed this today ~

Thanks for the smiles and the pirate vocab...sometimes we need to be silly and funny too ~

See you later ~

lori said...

Darn you, Brian Miller! I made it through yesterday without acknowledging International Speak Like a Pirate Day. I thought I was safe. Now, I see this staring back at me, so I'll just say with my attitude, I don't think I'll be making it to Fiddler's Green.

Argh! That's my pirate angst for the day :)

Myrna R. said...

Too bad, I don't speak pirate. But I sure understood your poem. I guess pirates had to be a bit naughty. I think you don't need a special day to be one.

Steve E said...

How many languages do you know, Brian?

Really Good. I say that only so I don't get whacked with your leg.

velvetinapurrs said...

Great enjoyment had, thank you Brian, i laughed out loud on your 'treasure chest' - the notes helped too, pirate speak is a little beyond me, and after the fun, i really felt the ending

Dulce said...

Thank you by those pirate entries- otherwise I would have not gotten it ha ha...That's a pirates life that is.
Smiles

Ed Pilolla said...

haha:) thanks for the definitions. i must say, missing national speak like a pirate day isn't too disappointing:) fun read. very playful and charming:)

Laurie Kolp said...

Haha... perfect one, for yesterday not only was speak like a pirate day, but it's my wedding anniversary. Not many friends forget that as my husband works in the maritime industry.

mrs mediocrity said...

big smile. gotta go find my pirate...

Anthony Desmond said...

ooh Brian! fun and quite sexayy.. haha

Daydreamertoo said...

And Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for: "avast me hearties!"
Loved this pirate 'speak' from you, LOL
Laughed at texting the wife and telling her to walk the plank. (Giggling)

Cloudia said...

as you may know I'm now DONE with pirate-life. LOL


Warm Aloha from Waikiki;

Comfort Spiral


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Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

I didn't get to do much pirate talking yesterday - too busy at work - but I'll make up for it when I takes me next Arr & Arr!

Tara Miller said...

Aaargh! Me likes the map to your treasure chest cap'n and what's inside all the better! 'tis quite fun plunderin' for treasure on me lover. ;)

Beachanny said...

Movin on from Rock N Roll to Pirates of the Caribbean - trading the mohawk now, for dreds...Oh Brian, some love song! I liked it.

missing moments said...

Fun post! My hubby's b/day is Pirate day as well! Fun messing with him.

Lady Nyo said...

Oh Brian!!

I think this is one of the funniest poems I've ever read...It was delightful, masterful (but thanks for the crib sheet) write and just....

'shivered me timbers'.

LOL! Quite a LOVE POEM!

Lady Nyo

Mona said...

Wow! That was so sweet! The 'treasure chest' thing! I love this poem :)

otin said...

Isn't it funny how we kind of glorify pirates. :)

ayala said...

Love it, Brian...X marks the spot :) I am sure the wife didn't mind :)

sage said...

Nice! I forgot about it till it was too late, but I'm at my parents and there was a lecture last night about recent discoveries from archaeology work on Blackbeard's "Queen Anne's Revenge"

Poetry Pastiche said...

You have got me rolling with this one, Brian. :) Excellent.

lindakruschke said...

Cute! Oh wait, that's not an appropriate description for a pirate poem, is it? Peace, Linda

wolfsrosebud said...

Amazing outlook you have a so many things in life... up with the sails and time to move on.

ds said...

Well, cap'n, this landlubber's got some readin' to do. Beware--there were some pretty fearsome female pirates cruising the Seven Seas. Next time, you might be the one walking the plank ;)
Great fun, this. Thanks!

Natasha said...

Brian...Davey Jones ain't got nothing on you! I smiled my first real smile of the day...actually, it was my second...your OpenLinkNight intro rocked just as hard! A sincere "thank you" is most certainly in order!

Ann LeFlore said...

Oh cap'n this is a real sea going tale you have woven here and I just think it is so much fun I like stories of pirates and you have brought them to life here thanks for sharing
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/

manicddaily said...

Very sweet for all the bluster. Blarney?

Jo Bryant said...

being part of a pirate crew already i love anything that goes anywhere near anything to do with pirates. :)

Christine said...

did you say walk the plank or planking because ya know, that may be against the law in your country soon

Ann Grenier said...

Wow, that looks difficult to do - fun to read. Didn't know about pirates day, gotta get out more :-)

rosaria said...

Well, I do hope she enjoyed the new lingo!

Mama Zen said...

You guys wait for a holiday to play pirate?

This is really fun, Brian!

Ginny Brannan said...

Missed that whole "Talk Like a Pirate Thing." Darn!!
Loved your write. Nice that your wife has a sense of humor too!!

drybottomgirl said...

This made me smile! I must say I do like a good "Johnny Depp" pirate movie :)

lynne said...

Tampa is famous for it's Gasparilla parade and flotilla battles.. Aye, we speak piratese here rather well..

this was a fun poem!!!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Through all the fun of pirate speak, you had something real to say about relationships and how to actively pursue keeping the magic alive. No treasure chest should be buried and forgotten.

Joseph Hesch said...

Wonderful how you took a might-as-well-be-unknown silly day and quickly turn it into a hip, tight love poem. With definitions! Great fun read, Brian.

Margaret said...

Ha! Loved this...I was a bit worried how far you were going to take this :)

eclipsingwinter said...

Arrr... matey, ye make t' battlin' t' catch th' eye. It be a fun piece ye tell wit' a hint of merriment. I be coverin' me eyes if'n ye advance on ye treasure.

Cap'n Beth

DJan said...

I gave up reading the comments, there are just TOO MANY in front of me. What a cool pirate story, Brian. Your eye patch is slipping a bit, here let me help you... OW!

Mijayami said...

Awesome! I knew it was pirate day, but had no one to play with. Glad you did :)

Jackie Dick said...

I absolutely loved the fun here, Brian. Think you and I would have been great playmates as kids! And what a inspiration...Pirate's Day!I'd walk the plank with ye any day, ye funster!

pandamoniumcat said...

Great fun...I too heard about international pirates day, I thought about watching Pirates of the Caribbean but that's as far as I went... :)

Sheila Moore said...

yes, I did know it was pirate;s day - thanks to a hilarious news caster in my town who put on quite an act during that mornings broadcast - although yours sounded better - lol. I am proud (or embarassed?) to say that I didn't even need to refer to your definitions to understand what you wrote (smiles)

Reflections said...

Fun piece! Just when I was thinkin' of hitting the Carrabean Pirates trove at Disney again. Make e'er the urge that much stronger mate.

Patricia said...

Do I get a prize for being the 73 commenter/friend? I hope you consider these like 73 gold coins for your treasure chest. Too bad they aren't real gold. ;) This is so fun, so many to capture as favs... love that marker! And have fun at the beach!

KB and Whitesnake said...

This is so cool matey.

yellowhousecafe said...

how do pirates say fabulous?! nicely played, indeed. I did know this as a co-worker told me to post something on our FB page with an "aaarrrgh". I said "boo" not gonna do it, too bad I hadn't thought Poem! walk the plank... oml, too funny, I see who wears the pirate knickers in your family ~

henry clemmons said...

i shoulda saved my pirate write for this week. darn. fun read. luv me pirate anything, just about. :)

haikulovesongs said...

arrrgggh, matey! glad you stopped where you did. {smile} very cute.

Valerie said...

Well, shiver me timbers... I didn't know there was such a thing as pirates day!

Loved this, Brian, truly. Oh boy, what an imagination you have.......

beckykilsby said...

brilliant buccaneering Brian... so good to see the pirate lexicon alive and kicking...

Debbie Dawnslight said...

Argh... This is great, Brian. I love the treasure chest!

blueviolet said...

I can't say I've heard any pirate speak over here. Yet.

Brendan said...

So that's why I woke yesterday with a migraine shivering me cortical timbers, grappling hooks thrown on my sense from boo-tay marauders from Down Under ... You rode the trope all the way through like a true buccaneer, mining it and turning the finds upside down to reveal all of their contemporary ironies. It helps that the pirate myth has been so foolishly exploited by "Pirates of the Caribbean" -- those badger-lines of mascara around Johnny Depp's eyes are like the imperfect space in the Navaho rug that allows our spirit to escape -- and a wink to the fine goblet of seawitch-tit grog here. - Brendan

Just Be Real said...

Dang, did not know they had their own vocabulary. I love the definitions Brian. Blye me.

Zuzana said...

Oh I certainly like the way you and your wife celebrated that day, hihi;))
And I like the idea of finding such a treasure chest.;)
Loved it and enjoyed the explanation in the end of the post, it surely cleared up a few things.;)
Have a great midweek dear Brian.;))
xoxo

tulpen said...

I tried to get my four year old excited about Talk Like A Pirate Day... she thought I was nuts.

Lorraine said...

LOL I love it no I didn't know it was that day no mention of it on the news , I mean come on....Ahooy Matey, oooo can I say that lol

adeeyoyo said...

Good grief, Jolly Roger 'n all that walking the plank will surely hold you all to ransome!

ModernMom said...

Only you could wax poetic in pirate:)

Steve King said...

Fun, witty, intelligent. What more is there? Very enjoyable...

C Rose said...

This was so playful I just adored it! Fun write Brian ~ Rose

joanna said...

lots of fun, brian. *smiles* and words to the wise there at the end. ;)

mairmusic said...

arghh matey-- a right nice piece!

Charles Elliott/Beautyseer said...

Fun read!

But after ye've 'ad yer fun, ye best be topside on the crow's nest and alert for the corporate pirates who now run everything...

lifeisaroadtrip said...

LOL. The treasure chest made me laugh, too. Brian, you are so brilliant and everything else good I can think of. I almost hope I never meet you. :-)

Rachel Hoyt said...

Hahaha. Whether that story was imaginary or real, I loved it. I did know it was talk like a pirate day and threw out a few Yaaaaarrrrs, but next year I'll have to be a little more creative. :)

bod for tea said...

Ahoy there! *giggles* Thanks for the chuckle today, fun read. And thanks too for popping over to comment earlier, appreciate it :D

Jannie Funster said...

what that sharpie wrote and on what I can only imagine...

xo

Mary said...

May Pirate's Day become a Hallmark holiday someday. I loved this warm and whimsical post, Brian! X does indeed mark the spot.

Joanne Elliott said...

Ahoy! That was fun...and sweet.

theborgpoet said...

Yar, ye scurvy dog. There be poetry in them thar words!

anglachel27 said...

Ha, you had me at the Fiddler's Green reference. So fun and playful this time around, enjoyed it very much.
Gene

bajanpoet said...

BOOM!

That's awesome! I liked how you drew the map to your chest ... LOL A very fun piece!

Magpie said...

Well, well...how did I miss International Speak Like a Pirate Day? You are a hoot, young man. About the only pirate-speak I know is "There be monsters here". :)

The Orange Tree said...

Admirable Piece.
Private Adventure, Who Can Resist?
Lovely and Fun Words.

The Orange Tree said...

Pirate Adventure,

Ooops...Sorry for the typo in previous comment.

The Orange Tree said...

Pirate Adventure,

Ooops...Sorry for the typo in previous comment.

PattiKen said...

Hallmark needs ye, me rhymin' scalawag.

william said...

argh me hearties, tis another winner, shiver me timbers ;)

Sue said...

Love this.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. She is one lucky woman!

=)

Syd said...

Nice. This one had me laughing. Damn--I forgot about Pirate's Day. I am glad no peg legs were mentioned.