Tuesday, August 30, 2011

OpenLinkNight: Middle Age White Male

it is the repetitive compression
of the pogo stick, spring snarling
at the constraints of its cylinder
containing and harnessing its power

k-chung
k-chung
k-chung

is this enslavement? bondage?

bra straps, need a quick release
for easy access, so i can stop using
my teeth, so said the dentist
on the last visit

what constrains us?

what do you expect, but sex
and allusion? it is all we guys think of
when not coming up with ways
to repress women, other races and
children, speaking of which, i need
to beat mine and my wife, but when
you ask why i will grunt and scratch,
maybe pass gas just to piss you off
as i assume the listening position
on the couch, and dream of my mistress,

worn out from personally installing
the glass ceiling at your corporation
it is our historical curse born of
sexist, racist, bigoted seed we
can not help ourselves from living
down to the low expectations you
in stereo, type upon us, cause we all suck,
leave the seat up on purpose and think
the skid stains on our under wear makes
great modern art when thrown on the floor

person-ally, i am glad my life is
not contained by the broad brush you paint
this middle age white male paradise.

oh wait, what was the question?
what constrains us?

shrinkage.

small manhoods,
misguided, too many willing to settle
as references in Adele songs,

now leave me alone,
the game is on.


It is that time once again, when we open the windows and poetry flows, OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets Pub. Tonight, the incredible Tashtoo is our MC and will kick things off at 3 pm EST. See you there.

Note: For the record, I do not abuse my family, just unamused with the definition of what we consider a man these days. Much love to the man haters and males of the species that propagate there images for the rest of us. Smiles.

118 comments:

Mrsupole said...

HAH

Pat Hatt said...

hahahaha so sad it's funny. So many do whine about the sterotype but do continue to propagate the image.
90% of what so called guys do irks me or I find nasty..haha..some people really do need to open their eyes.
And don't go hitting your wife and kids with that balloon too hard, after all the air could seep out and it might sound like you really are passing gas..haha...wouldn't want to propagate

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Laughter! Omg! Mrsupole...lol

the walking man said...

Some women out there tell me again what was wrong with the way Charles Bukowski lived his life? This was pretty much a perfect description of it until he found his pace.

Funny thing I don't know any guys that stereotype women anywhere near as judgmentally as the women I know do the guys they surround themselves with.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...

I like when you question society behavior and then...
"person-ally, i am glad my life is
not contained by the broad brush you paint this middle age white male paradise..."


Switch gears...with a "wink" and a "nod" at your readers.
"now leave me alone,
the game is on..."


Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-D

hedgewitch said...

Everything these days is dumbed down to the lowest common denominator, and gender definitions are no exception. Any time you start to define and broadbrush any group by some arbitrary characteristic, you become the bigot, imo. Way to take the scalpel to it, brian.

Daniel said...

I like this post, one that resonated with me. You really crafted this one well and I agree with the premise and the conclusions. Good work my friend.

Mrsupole said...

You know wearing bras really is enslavement and bonding them from bouncing free and wild. That is why burning the bra was such an important statement. Then too much falling down to the waist and so the enslavement and bondage began anew. The quick release thing would be like building a better mousetrap, it ain't gonna happen.

And sadly I think you described how some men can be all of what you wrote or just some of what you wrote. But then again there are many good things about them too.

Many things constrain us all in our own ways and we can spend a lifetime working to get rid of them. It is a journey and at the end of that rainbow is freedom.

Such a beautiful rainbow that some reach sooner than others, but hopefully we all do.

Beautiful poem again Brian. How beautiful is your rainbow, hope you find that pot of a beautiful life.

God bless.

Heaven said...

Small minds and unreflected hearts are the cause of these ills. I like these lines best:

"shrinkage.

small manhoods"

Thanks for sharing this and see you later~

kaykuala said...

In a nutshell these are the things done and the constraints of not having them done. Bra burning is a freedom? Freedom from what, I wonder!

That's not the point. The point is 90% of the guys are still at it. Eradication is far fetch, near impossible may be. Life must go on.

Thanks Brian for bringing this to the fore. I like the way you brought it up, you crafted it brilliantly! Great!

Hank

David Allen Waters said...

dude, good thing you put that disclaimer in, otherwise, ya know rumors...LOL

another great one :)

Zeba said...

So said my dentist bit had my gape openly. Mostly because my imagination is wild. :)

Mighty M said...

This is the exact opposite of who you are!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Whoo...for one who's sooooo not the Average Joe, you sure nailed him.
And for all you Average Joe's out there - we ladies are on to the " listening position on the couch." Which is why we have an "interested position in the bed."

California Ink in Motion said...

You touched on so many different issues in this wonderful poem. . Yet there will be stereotyping occurring in our society, there is a truth behind this poem. Loved your sarcasm and humor woven throughout this poem.
Loved the format.

Sue said...

SNAP. Those small manhood-men are busted!

;)

Claudia said...

i know so many of those that are worn out from "personally installing the glass ceiling at their corporation" and they feel they have a right to relax in other ways and life has to pay them back what it has stolen them...you capture this so well bri...but you shouldn't listen to your dentist...smiles

LadyCat said...

There are still many out there with "little man syndrome", that have something to prove. But there are some women like this, too. Being overbearing and obnoxious does not discriminate.
And I love Adele...just bought her CD "21". I don't think she's a man hater, just been hurt one too many times. But, that experience isn't limited to just one sex either.
And the glass ceiling has been giving many of us a headache for years : )
Very thought provoking here today!

Mark Kerstetter said...

Whoa, Brian, back up dude. This is way politically incorrect. As a white male you're not even AWARE of the privileges HEAPED upon you, and therefore are not even in a position to address criticism to your elevated status in society. You have broken a taboo, sir. Hang your head right now.

Jeez, some people are so insensitive....

Brian Miller said...

oh i dont think adele is a man hater...she sings wonderfully...she has def been or sings about getting hurt in many songs...almost as much as taylor swift sings of falling into love...smiles.

Dulce said...

Bang!and Dang! You are mr malcontent today... and so right to be so, but...
Please follow your dentist's advice :-) :-):-)

drybottomgirl said...

Wow! I have noticed that the people that complain about "sterotyping" are the ones who fit the description the most.....

ayala said...

wow...powerful, Brian. Great write.

Victoria said...

This makes me wonder...aren't these stereotypes birthed by just a few? Have to say, though, it made me laugh out loud. Now, I give you permission to do a number on us girls so we can achieve some sense of balance in the Universe.

Magpie said...

I have noticed in advertising and TV programming these days, that there is a lot of man-bashing going on. Since this very morning my loving, kind, considerate husband rescued me from the clutches of a dead battery in record heat, I have a totally different feel about the men in my life. :)

li said...

You know, I've always wondered why there are no velcro bra closures. Seems like it would benefit both sides.

There are gentle, polite, decent men around but as has always been the case, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. (Or the farting guy gets the attention.) And media does play a role in this, often showing the men as rude, inept and lazy while the woman is clever and condescending. However, to even the score I've noticed that there are more and more shows like Jersey Shore and Bad Girl's Club showcasing women's ability to belch, fart, curse and lay everything in sight. Equality at last!

Mama Zen said...

Brilliant write, Brian.

theborgpoet said...

That was a pretty loaded piece Brian!

mrs mediocrity said...

Big smile. classic and brilliant.

Daydreamertoo said...

Love the way that you always have of telling it like it is.
Not all men are bad, and not all women are good either. Good and bad in both sexes as has always been.
In fact some women are downright sadistical at times.
A nice write Brian.

ccchampagne said...

Absolutely f*cking brilliant!!! So good! And I so felt (and deserved) the slap you unwittingly just gave me! *smile* Just brilliant!

Rachel Hoyt said...

Haha. You describe the stereotype so hilariously perfect! :)

beckykilsby said...

Pogo sticks, Adele and the game... little else to say... lot of laughs here... best way to deflate those sterotypes.

Jeff said...

You discovered a direct link to the status quo?

Or did you go looking for it?

Jeff said...

You came upon a direct link to the 'status quo?'

Or did you go looking for it?

Natasha said...

Spit that venom! We'll have to wash the mic after this write...you're stealing the spotlight again, Brian! Can I get a hell yeah! For all the complaining I do for being a woman...I would not wish the opposite on my worst enemy. Fist pump for you for having the manly parts to pen this write...you rocked it out. New bumper sticker...Real Men Write Poems! Throw that out there for the stereotypers to swallow, and the stereo hypers to follow :) The world would be a much better place if! (Whoops, another essay, sorry!)

C Rose said...

brilliant...loved the 'adele' reference! Loved it Brian, impressed as always by your words. ~ Rose

Jannie Funster said...

My goodness...

btw, middle age starts at 58, so I know none of this could be you, Bri.

Stereo types -- I can think of a few... Bose, Nakamichi, and Kenwood for starters. Do they even make Kenwoods anymore. Guess I'm dating myself. And if I'm dating MYSELF does that make me a lesbian? :)

Anyhooo... moving right along...

I was never here on this post. Nope. :)

xo

Jinksy said...

Heaven help us women...

Steve E said...

HA! Love Tasha's comment!

Hey, men are pushed into being, acting out living, in a certain manner, that's true.

But I look at the poor woman (Yes, I 'look'!-grin), who is practically forced to own many pair of shoes, matching bags, gloves, hats,...the jewelry for all differing occasions, then let's NOT talk about the makeup, the face (OMG!), the hair-do, the this, the that. I think we men with (some of us) our little 'thingys' have it rather simple in comparison.

I know this was not your point. But your point YOU always cover plenty good. Writer extraordinaire! BRIAN!
PEACE!

Anthony Desmond said...

haha... shrinkage. :P

Joanne Elliott said...

Wow! Love the way you turn those phrases and flip the world upside down. Thanks for speaking out...just a little. LOL! ;-)

Arron Shilling said...

Superb - entertaining with maximum coooool! - one thing though - i just sold by Calvin Kleins with rubber dohnut burns for 3 G's do you think thats bad? - i didnt charge any extra 4 the sweetcorn....

Ed Pilolla said...

dude, this is so frickin' hysterical. i was laughing throughout. thank you for a ton of fun, and insight. as much as you crack wise, you are sharing wisdom, too.
but i laughed my ass off:)

Tabor said...

I must admit this seems like raw meat...glad you got it off your chest. I guess we all have broad brushes hidden away in the drawers of our minds.

Elizabeth Young said...

This makes me glad I'm single!

Kim Nelson said...

How did you manage? Every cliched assumption tied together in a haughty, naughty man-o-phobic piece. Wow!

Friko said...

yeah, man.

Not that I know many blokes like the one you describe personally, but I believe they exist, somewhere.

lizziviggi said...

You just made me very, very grateful for the man I married. Thanks!

BTW I second Natasha's comment-- you need a "Real Men Write Poems" bumper sticker!

Fred said...

Brian, sarcasm, some real questions to ponder, humor, and the observations that cast broad shadows. Great write

rosaria said...

What a wide canvas you draw, all recognizable stereotypes, yet,,,

LBTL said...

(smile)
I learned a few new things, as I am stuck on stereotyping the Haitian males lol.
hmmm if most males though spent less time watching the game, maybe we would have a lot more time understanding each other (males/females) :P
Thanks for the visit

Lady Nyo said...

I love this, Brian...I LOVE this!

I think it's a great comeback. The insults and slights thrown at any 'group' is nothing but stereotyping...

And aren't we all susposed to be against THAT???

Well, we shuck and jive and parce our sympathies....and we shouldn't.

We 'know' better, but we damn well don't care.

Very good one, Brian...sings in many keys.

Lady Nyo

Ginny Brannan said...

Aha!! You covered just about everything that frustrates us women and drives us crazy! Have dealt much of this through the years, thankfully not all at the same time!! Love this. Got your finger on the pulse of us females for sure!! My favorite, the last line:

'now leave me alone,
the game is on.'

Perfect!!

Ann LeFlore said...

Very funny and a good job of describing the sterotype

Anonymous said...

I am laughing hysterically! This is awesome. I love this part: "living down to the low expectations you in stereo, type upon us" ... And I also love Adele. :)

~safehousepoetry.wordpress.com

Cloudia said...

savagely honest. . .



Aloha from Waikiki;


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colleen said...

Men aren't THAT bad! But I must admit I wrote a poem similar to this once with a first line of...Does a Goddess on a pedestal fake orgasms for you?

Helena White said...

Ha! You certainly described "the little knuckle dragging man, Brian ~
Smiles and laughter ~

Laurie Kolp said...

You really got into this with a unique voice and style almost defiant. I like it!!

Oh, I know you're a nice guy. There still are many out there.

Betsy said...

Be careful with that quick release thing. You could put an eye out. ha.

oh, this was so good....such serious words cloaked in humor. Love it.

And Mrs U ~ you really should take a show on the road...you are frickin' hilarious, girl!

Brian Miller said...

oh dang colleen...wish i woulda wrote that...smiles.

pervagus said...

Hahahaha! Gone beyond tongue in cheek this time. It does have a rather American twinge (speaking as a stiff arse Brit)? "Shrinkage" - Cringingly horrific. Great write. Loved it!

sharplittlepencil said...

Brian, this was deceptively, ironically brilliant. Either that or you're a Neanderthal and need a smack upside the head... no, I think it's time women spoke up in defense of men, who are NOT all bastards, not even close to half. (Congress notwithstanding.) Men are a joy in my life, but I'm still willing to stick it to the ones who bring on the pain by abusing their rank, their homophobia, their privilege, their race, or their fists. YOU I adore, though, as I adore so many on this site of dversity. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/third-eye-of-the-sightless-woman-dverse/

lori said...

I hate stereotypes, but I guess we've all been on both sides of the coin if we're honest. It's so easy to do without even realizing it. My favorite lines are,

"what do you expect, but sex
and allusion? it is all we guys think of
when not coming up with ways
to repress women, other races and
children,"

Once again, you've outdone yourself :)

Jyoti Mishra said...

Brilliant expressions
With "Constraints" u have pointed put numerous things prevailed in our society.

Fantastic read !!!

farmlady said...

I would like to see the inside of this brain of yours. The thought process is so unique that I wonder who Brian of the "smiles" really is.
This is awesome.

Percy@dreamhopewrite said...

WOW!!! This is a poem!!! Break down the barrier, turn off their stereo, and knock down the painting!! Brian I think you have done the male race a great justice with your pen! I read this 4 times just to admire your writing!!

libraryscene said...

dig how you start off with a bit of whimsy (did I see on twitter about trying a pogo?) anyhoo, a great write which nails in when you call it, settling, yes, small manhoods, aka these insecurities that bust everyone else's ego's down to inflate their own ~

marousia said...

>^_^< This one sings - I love it!!!

Someone is Special said...

the game is on.. What a way to write a post questioning society.. Love it..

Someone is Special

chromapoesy.com said...

I'm with Tasha 'Real Men Write Poems'!

June_Butterfly said...

Hi,Brian.Something went wrong with my computer.All the blogs I was ff was deleted.Am I glad I could reach you easily.Nice work,btw.As always!!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Point well made.

And I'm still a feminist (like you).

Valerie said...

You know us too well...smiles.

Vodka Logic said...

Humor and something to think about in the same post thats a rarity and well done,.

jackiedick said...

Well thank you for destroying the stereotypical image so many have of men..and done courageously, I think, with lots of humor, albeit dark. Wonderful piece, Brian!

Debbie.Dawnslight said...

Haha!!!
Great lines, loved them all,
But my musical ear diggs -

down to the low expectations you
in stereo, type upon us, cause we all suck,

;). Deb

Madhulika said...

could stop laughing while reading this...
loved it :)

Dave King said...

This is absolutely brilliant. I shall have to read it a few times yet. Wonderful.

SueAnn said...

Hats off to men who are tender, kind and compassionate!!
Brilliantly written Brian.
Hugs
SueAnn

adeeyoyo said...

It is such a pity that men are typecast as such chauvinists. I do feel for those who fall outside those constraints. They too are being undeservedly castrated verbally by many women. Many are now taking a stand on women's behalf. Good for them.

Zuzana said...

I too dislike that there is this norm that people are suppose to fit. Some mold or pattern of how we act and how we are. People are so versatile and can only very rarely be categorized.;)
Have a lovely day dear friend,
xoxo

lucychili said...

strange. seems like a binary world. and combative. what kind of game do you start by sending folks away? perhaps this is your season for protest posts =)

Justin said...

I like how you prove a point by exaggerating the stereotypes that stupid white males have created for all white males. Good work.

blueviolet said...

I'm not surprised you fight against society's averages. I'd expect nothing less of you!

Joseph Hesch said...

Okay, was it a recent birthday or something that brought you to write this piece? As one of those middle-aged males you're defending, thank you. As a reader of Brian Miller poetry, thank you even more. Biting, funny, warm, tough, and even a little "hey you kids, get off my lawn" in a gender/age defensive sense. Way cool, Brian.

velvetinapurrs said...

Great poem...and I am very sure this does not describe yourself...there's a deeper point here though, as this stereotype male, the lowest common denominator is really offensive to many men, I guess (?)

JStar said...

Oh Brian, You constantly out-do yourself with each write...Your stereotypes were funny but true...The last line made me laugh out loud! My co workers looked at me crazy lol...

Joanne said...

Touche, Brian. Love the bra/dentist bit, and then it gets seriously groaty. Yeah, we know the stereotype is rare in the wild, of course. We love you no matter which bits might stick. We do! Excellent write...as always.

randallweiss said...

You say so much about masculinity and privileged and stereotypes. I love the tone.

Evelyn said...

yes!
This is exactly what I am talking about!
Nice...

CatGem said...

ha! love it!

Evelyn said...

thanks for the inspiration.
great piece.

http://fillingahole.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/in-sneakers-and-suits/

Goofball said...

are you feeling middle aged lately to feel unamused on this image of "us"?

Sheila Moore said...

ha, nice tongue-in-cheek word play. in stereo, type upon us, - love that, very creative

signed...bkm said...

Everyone takes things personal...if people just worried about theirself instead of taking on the world or ideals...they would blast right through that glass ceiling without even knowing...great writers were great make or female...the cream floats...in a life bearing content..take them all on Brian...go for it..bkm

bodhirose said...

I love this, Brian--there is some truth in there but your humor is superb!

haikulovesongs said...

"living
down to the low expectations you
in stereo, type upon us"

brilliant!

it's getting better, isn't it? is it?

Glynn said...

Once you pass middle age, it gets better, I think. You feel worse physically, but it gets better. Good one, Brian.

mairmusic said...

Interesting to put a perceptive voice inside an unperceptive being. Rough topic though.

Seasideauthor said...

No wait do not follow the dentist advice yet! I have got to see the teeth trick...GOL giggling out loud.
You have covered it all here I think.
Open link night the game is on dverse.

Apryl Gonzales said...

"in stereo, type upon us" LOVE IT! As always kick ass Brian!

Lorraine said...

WOW that is incredibled, but then you have the brain;)

James Rainsford said...

Wow Brian, this reads with a brutal and uncompromising honesty. Some very arresting images here.

Other Mary said...

Clever. Like all the best humor it's shot through with some serious truths.

Peter Goulding said...

Very close to the bone, Brian, but wickedly funny, nonetheless!

Celestial Dreamz said...

funny in its own brutal honesty :) good one ...

flaubert said...

Brian, you did they the cards out on the table with this one. Living in Mexico, I see the men from a much different light. Latin men are very macho, and it is accepted by the woman. Thank goodness I am not single.

Pamela

The Bug said...

Ha! I'm just going to agree with Mrs. U (especially about the bra thing). I'm so glad I'm not married to this particular man - mine is the BEST.

Syd said...

There is still a lot of chauvinistic stuff that goes on. It would have been good to see more advancement than there has been. The glass ceiling is still in place in so many ways.

nefariousx said...

I liked it.
it had a punch.

My favorite part was

"worn out from personally installing
the glass ceiling at your corporation"

Nice closing lines.

Enchanted Oak said...

I felt like I was on that pogo stick for a bit in the beginning, k-chung all over the map, falling over... but then I got the rhythm and it got strong from the glass-ceiling section onwards. This is a good voice for you.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Wow!

Wow!

Margaret said...

OH what a fun topic! Men are often portrayed as slobs and sexists, but so many commercials today make them look idiotic and stupid and the woman all knowing and smarter. LOL (oh, and by they way, burning MY bra.. no way, thank God for the padded push up bra) ha ha!

Syd said...

I think I saw some of what the white male does this past weekend. Sad that the younger generation hasn't learned much from the paternal generation except drinking and sexism.

barbara said...

Ah-HA! You're actually a pseudonym for my husband, aren't you?

Jack Edwards Poetry said...

Brilliantly written, great use of rhetorical question, assonance and onomatopoeia to convey humour.

http://jackedwardspoetry.blogspot.com/2011/09/brothers.html