in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon
scratch made, on a cold day, soup
extracting limas to get to stewed
vegetables imbued with delicious-ness
i retrieve pasta alpha bits
and arrange them in groups
on the table surface
forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,
beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's out side the constraints
of tic tac toe
spray painted on interstate underpasses,
adolescent notes passers, hand to hand, when
the teachers back is turned, war cries to
bolster troops for an impossible push,
never minded truth, a dying man's
feeble last breath---
they bleed broth in small puddles,
a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip
and think of you.
OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets Pub - A place to share verse among friends. Write a poem, come join us. Tonight, Joe Hesch will be open the doors at 3 pm EST and be hosting week 4 of this grand adventure. Look forward to seeing you there.
Posts
110 comments:
Um, grandma? I think this one is too deep for me. I love soup, but it's too hot to think about it now.
as always you make the mind leap....bravo friend, bravo :)
I was with you until you jumped from the teacher's turned back to war cries...then I got lost!
echoes of disjointed thought? Waiting for the inevitable?
Full of interesting ideas : thoughts that let us go where we will. More a map than a route.
I skipped about there, Brian, but I think I caught up. Will read it again to make sure.
I just read your previous tale - brilliant. Where are the others?
If I'm not mistaken, this was about passion and love and fevered expressions of excitement.
I am twisted by the conundrum of the soup here. so many images to taste that I lose the flavor of the soup.
vivid images while making soup on a cold day ~
these opening lines for me are beautiful:
"i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon"
hmm I kinda stopped at the image of you stirring a spoon in the concave of your ear....worth a picture
yes - i just love it - love the tenderness, longing and the mad wildness - what a sensual and stirring love poem, you rock the place brian miller!
Try as I may, I think I need to unravel this another time to get the full impact. Soup huh!
Lots of cool shifts in here. Love the abstractions in the piece as well. As always an excellent write
hey you never know what you're gonna find in your alphabet soup :-)
this takes me in all directions, I like it
"forming your name in arcane dead languages"
That is very cool.
Right up my witchy alley with the images in this one. You've taken soup and made it the vehicle for a subtle and strong message on everything in life that swims and stews around us, that we consume or reject like lima beans, dwelling most on the thing that gives it savor. Excellent poem, brian.
Interesting read.
:~}
great images for the topic - the soup, grafitti, last will, passing notes in school when teacher not looking (that brought back memories). I just listened to claudia's rap and however she did it you should totally do it here. I would love to hear how these lines play out and sound in your head - I bet it is a lot different than how many people read it (as far as the beat and emphases.) See ya at the Pub!
LOVE this one!
It reminds me of the Shakespeare quote that 'All the world's a stage' ~ it's all in this poem..how we all have our part to play, what we can take and savour from it. Nicely done :)
This is a very heavy poem Brian! It brought to mind images (for me) of sitting in the waiting room of the hospital when my father was pronounced dead. Those images of time passing, trying to bring forth the sounds, the words...very heavy! I guess it is what we take from it that matters. If we land on the same page...all that much better.
Not that most accessible poem you've ever written, but well worth taking for a slow spin.
Love is a powerful thing; that's for sure.
=)
oops. Why do I never proofread?
make that "the" most accessible poem...
*sigh*
.)
Is this a highschool crush?
Hello love. I'll need to re-read this one again. Your woven words and the layers in this flew right over my head :) But I enjoyed the read, nonetheless...
Aww all lovey dovey with your x's and o's
But easily trumphs dreadful woes
As this is way better in real life
Bringing forth no strife
Had to read slow to take this one in
But as usual another win
Well written, Brian. Still echoing like the 2D echo recommended for the heart.
This one left me wondering, even after a second read. I perceive love in it and life - an alphabet soup of sorts.
eh, its overplayedin imagery...through the middle...the whole concept was spelling our someones name...being in love...all the crazzy modes of communication in the middle...kinda the craziness of loving someone that much...oh well....haha
Brian,
I love the mix of food and love. Great deep poem but fun as well.
~Corbie Sinclair
Loved the mind pictures.
Spelling words in zoodle letters and licking it off your fingers... LOL
Yuck! Nice read. :)
not overplayed! I think that the structural technique is brilliant here. I felt overwhelmed with the use of soft vowels between consonants in alliteration passage :
beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's out side the constraints
of tic tac toe
this is a very musical piece, very well structured !
I love the opening stanza Brian, but I think that I too got lost in the images. Perhaps I need the simplified version.
I think it's the "stew of life" - pouring life's experiences into the pot of love and keeping hearth and home at its center. I thought it was a beautiful love poem, Brian. Very fine indeed. Gay
I'm not going to try to discern meaning from this. I can't think that hard today.
Cast the stones, the runes will speak, as this write is quite the feat. For what it's worth, I've nodded off into poetic delusions while making soup for loved ones, but seldom have they made it to my notebook. The "leap" my mind took went from work, to love, to nightmares and secret wishes. Where you actually meant it to go...I am hoping was not set in the stones. ;)
your imagery is visceral as ever, Brian. :)
Loved this, especially
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,
beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's..."
I read all the wonderful comments--and forgot that I am to concentrate on BRIAN here--grin! Well, all I can add if that while reading this poem, I was breathless, that's the truth!
Good I can read fast, yes?
Love, life and language, all wonderfully combined in a delicious pot of soup. I've just finished writing an article on approaching writing on big themes by focussing on small details and this is a fantastic example. I am never disappointed when I pay you a visit Brian.
love is a stew. so many ingredients that leave a most wonderful taste in our mouth/mind.
this was fun to read:-)
i wrote a story about the letters Q and U meeting in a bowl of soup...ah, love! this one was great!
quite the power close yourself on this one, as always, love the cadence, you are a master... the images here are wonderful, heartbreaking, real.
Well, I get MOST of it, anyway! Some beautiful lines in there!
Some vivid images throughout, but your ending sounds a bit dark to me.
Excellent, Brian. Great imagery. I will be back to read it again. :)
this is the sweetness i thought was coming in the magpie tale:)
How you can find so much sweetness even in the kitchen... amazing
:-)
Starting with soup into a course of fantastic...where you mind goes is truly brilliant poetically.
The opening lines:
"i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon"
Sit perfectly! Great write ~ Rose
Beltaine and apple pies, multilayered tenderness of something that used to be but isn't any more. Mr Miller, astounding depth in this poem.
Sometimes I can't connect the words into a logical order, but I sure like the sounds of them sliding past my ears. :)
Reminds me of holding a shell to ear to hear the ocean. A whole world exists in the stir.
This one made me think, um more then usual!
…ah, your ending note took the breath away… sweet.. you’re amazing! that’s it.. no further words to say.. just amazing!(:
Soft and intimate write Brian - imagery and all is so playful with some raunch at the end if i am not mistaken. this is so well spun - you hit the heart without being overly sentimental and as always your personality shines thru. This is the kind of smart and sexy poetry my GF wishes i could write her. It is possible to get lost in this piece - but you maintain a hip groove... U DA CAT WID DA COOL
PlauDITS!
This is so fevered...there are so many incredible images to jump to..stop that! But don't stop. Quite wonderful and original imagry here. This is a poem to be read over and over again to get meaning, frankly. But who cares...it's a ride on a poetic roller coaster. Okay, Brian!
Loved this line: "they bleed broth in small puddles." Great imagery.
I think this is got to be my favorite of yours. One more "angry young man' "urban warrior" and I was going to cream you.
This has such tenderness, expansion...peace. Haunting.
Lovely, Brian.
Lady Nyo
Cool seeing love in so many different aspects of the day. Great word play...
forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,
the arcane languages, what wife would allow this on her table? i guess one who appreciates ancient forms of communication.
A cup of Cambells for your thoughts... I'd pick out the limas too.
Am I too late! Marvelous piece of writing. The creative thought set to verse, great stuff, from a great writer. Loved it! Keep it coming Brian.
This one is complex, Brian. What I was experiencing at first was a reminder of when I first fell in love...doodling his name on the edges of my notes during an accounting class, thoughts of him invading every waking moment. Then it felt like you switched channels, but still an evocative affect on the reader. Maybe that's it, channel surfing. But then your poems always challenge and make us think/feel. That's why you're so good.
I love all the places you go, the times and formats of expressing words you swirl together into this soup of remembering. Great read!
super intense and full of emotions n feelings.
Well summed up... in short a treat 4 readers
Love the title, and the imagery, esp the soup imagery...how true when one is in love they do see that loved one's name and image all over... creative write!
Love these lines:
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"
Interesting meditation on our human feelings and musings about love.
i'm glad you enlightened those of us with less sharp minds... i got confused with the title and kept thinking about heart surgery and letting go of loved ones! but re-reading it, i can see all the images of fascination with spelling out and calling out the beloved's name :)
The first stanza alone could be a poem in itself.
i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon
Perfectly writ.
I love you language 'soup'
wonderful imagery
It's wonderful how you love!
Wonderful poem!
Gosh, I'm amazed again at the depth of your writing!
Margie :)
I found this to be much needed fun. It's been a long time since I've had alphabet soup or alpha bits cereal :) This is a good reminder to keep what's most important first, always. My favorite part is,
"they bleed broth in small puddles,
a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip
and think of you"
One good thing about his job loss, I get to see him more, and that's always a good thing :) Thanks for the encouraging words, friend.
Hmmm, interesting.
Way kool. Always inspiring!
An amazing piece on so many levels... wondering if my thought processes are as clear as they feel, or if I have gone far beyond your intentions. I got the love connections, I got the versatility of imagery tying to the everyday... yet somehow you have made some of the turmoils of todays world poetically tender.
But then as one of your previous commentors said... it is about what you intend as well as what the reader takes away with them. What the connections are as they read.
Just as I feel when doing something that doesn't use brainpower. The mind wanders all over the place. Nice Brian. Hope the soup turned out good!
Brian, I really enjoy how this poem moves -- dances -- on so many different levels. Complex, evocative, and heartfelt, both tangible and heady. Superb!
David
Really good. Thanks!
but then your soup gets cold....
i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.
i especially loved ~
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"
i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}
loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.
see ya' later in the week (i hope.)
but then your soup gets cold....
i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.
i especially loved ~
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"
i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}
loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.
see ya' later in the week (i hope.)
but then your soup gets cold....
i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.
i especially loved ~
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"
i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}
loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.
see ya' later in the week (i hope.)
i love the title "echoes in cardiac amphitheaters," (almost expecting cardiac arrest...).So homey at first, yet you start "stirring is slow" - stirring the memory(?) in the "concave of (your) ear" and then from soup to stew... langugages and ancient ceremonies/chants... echoing... (and echoes do make things louder and longer and sometimes unclear).
and then *love the ending just as much as the opening to this write *
broth... puddles...
"a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip /
and think of you."
You have to taste your soup, don't you?... I had to read it several times, and i admit that i still don't "get" each line. I know that I must have misinterpreted what you set out for, but i wanted to share this excitement i feel after reading your poem. ~ cheers! Deb.
I regaled into the soup until the end, like pea soup I hated it, atta boy
Ha, I think you have us all thinking now Brian--which is always a good thing.
I have no idea what this means - IT must be good? ;D Shah .X
So much love !
Often see you at Steve's and Margie .Dropped in to say Hi.
"...forming your name in arcane dead languages..." brilliant words... a lot of love is hiding here between the soup ingrediences :)
I so envy your word play...
It touches many of the senses and I'm intrigued. So many different images from different eras, different sorts of communicative expressions, attempts at communication or so it seems to me. Is the narrator trying to remember what her voice really sounds like or recall what she said and only merely grasping what's left behind in memory?
He seems to be considering what she had said or perhaps what he overheard her saying. And whatever she had said or expressed has caused him to become fascinated with her and what she is about.
I like this poem that it seems open to these possibilities in my mind. I'm not entirely sure but it's an interesting picture.
This is lovely. Have to read it several times to follow it.
I love this Brian! To me it speaks of family; the deep love of man and wife midst the alphabet soup and the mess of raising two sons!
This poem reminded me of my own family...
can't keep my eyes open, falling asleep now, just want to say it must be beautiful:)
i got something very different here...and maybe i am all off..but i took this piece as a memory of a friend or brother or sister...killed in war and all that is left is memories of alphabet soup and playing tic, tac toe..in youth...please answer and i will re-read...bkm
Wonderful, Brian! You know, what's interesting... Only by reading the last verse of each stanza, one can read and understand the same poem.. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but it surely is SMART and poetic :)
Wow-- the mixing up of senses in this one is crazy, and mostly works.
Who knows the montage of memory when you wait to hear if death stayed
Brian, you just never fail to deliver.. this is top drawer writing. Excellent work.
Brian—
How do I love thee? Fantastic imagery woven throughout this modern love-struck piece.
really enjoyed this!
I love this.
Wish alphabet soup sent my muse to where yours went...fantastic write, indeed. Dug the word play, alliterations are fab ~
Sorry I'm late, Brian. Life.
Isn't it funny where we see communication and language when we're receptive to the world. And isn't it important that we listen and look past the obvious to get our own meaning, our own message, to and from the world. Great vision and follow through on this piece.
A complex and intriguing write with original imagery and an authentic voice. Loved it!
Like I said in my comment to you subsequent piece, they will never be bored. Behold, the power of imagination. Life, death, history, geography, and especially love... all in a bowl of soup.
very interesting mate, a bowl of soup eh, who would have thought lol..
This is one of the most beautiful love poems I have ever read. Unless it's not a love poem. LOL.
gentle thoughtful
Hi! Brian...
I had to read your poem thrice in order to find a clue and then I realized that maybe impossible...Because each Of your commenter seems to interpret your poetic words in their on special way.
Therefore, I decide to play the words that come to mind game:
d'Verse,
poem,
Thinking Of,
strongly,
impassioned,
in love,
reflecting,
and lost in thoughts,
brian,
poet,
and [still] Thinking Of,
and
Thank-you,
for sharing!
deedee ;-D
Woww.. a plethora of images and ideas... but that is exactly how our brains work, don't they? Hopping from one thought to another in a matter of nanoseconds, and all in connection with a certain person or thing... it's amazing really!
Nicely noodled .. oops.. I meant doodled.. :)
Post a Comment