Tuesday, August 9, 2011

OpenLinkNight: echoes in cardiac amphitheatres

i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon

scratch made, on a cold day, soup
extracting limas to get to stewed
vegetables imbued with delicious-ness

i retrieve pasta alpha bits
and arrange them in groups
on the table surface

forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,

beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's out side the constraints
of tic tac toe

spray painted on interstate underpasses,
adolescent notes passers, hand to hand, when
the teachers back is turned,  war cries to
bolster troops for an impossible push,
never minded truth, a dying man's
feeble last breath---

they bleed broth in small puddles,
a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip

and think of you.

OpenLinkNight @ dVerse Poets Pub - A place to share verse among friends. Write a poem, come join us. Tonight, Joe Hesch will be open the doors at 3 pm EST and be hosting week 4 of this grand adventure. Look forward to seeing you there.

110 comments:

happygirl said...

Um, grandma? I think this one is too deep for me. I love soup, but it's too hot to think about it now.

David Allen Waters said...

as always you make the mind leap....bravo friend, bravo :)

Eva Gallant said...

I was with you until you jumped from the teacher's turned back to war cries...then I got lost!

Friko said...

echoes of disjointed thought? Waiting for the inevitable?

Alan Burnett said...

Full of interesting ideas : thoughts that let us go where we will. More a map than a route.

Valerie said...

I skipped about there, Brian, but I think I caught up. Will read it again to make sure.

Friko said...

I just read your previous tale - brilliant. Where are the others?

Daniel said...

If I'm not mistaken, this was about passion and love and fevered expressions of excitement.

the walking man said...

I am twisted by the conundrum of the soup here. so many images to taste that I lose the flavor of the soup.

Heaven said...

vivid images while making soup on a cold day ~

these opening lines for me are beautiful:

"i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon"

Goofball said...

hmm I kinda stopped at the image of you stirring a spoon in the concave of your ear....worth a picture

Claudia said...

yes - i just love it - love the tenderness, longing and the mad wildness - what a sensual and stirring love poem, you rock the place brian miller!

kaykuala said...

Try as I may, I think I need to unravel this another time to get the full impact. Soup huh!

Fred said...

Lots of cool shifts in here. Love the abstractions in the piece as well. As always an excellent write

Kulio said...

hey you never know what you're gonna find in your alphabet soup :-)

this takes me in all directions, I like it

Mama Zen said...

"forming your name in arcane dead languages"

That is very cool.

hedgewitch said...

Right up my witchy alley with the images in this one. You've taken soup and made it the vehicle for a subtle and strong message on everything in life that swims and stews around us, that we consume or reject like lima beans, dwelling most on the thing that gives it savor. Excellent poem, brian.

annell said...

Interesting read.

darsden said...

:~}

Sheila Moore said...

great images for the topic - the soup, grafitti, last will, passing notes in school when teacher not looking (that brought back memories). I just listened to claudia's rap and however she did it you should totally do it here. I would love to hear how these lines play out and sound in your head - I bet it is a lot different than how many people read it (as far as the beat and emphases.) See ya at the Pub!

Captain Dumbass said...

LOVE this one!

Louise said...

It reminds me of the Shakespeare quote that 'All the world's a stage' ~ it's all in this poem..how we all have our part to play, what we can take and savour from it. Nicely done :)

Teri said...

This is a very heavy poem Brian! It brought to mind images (for me) of sitting in the waiting room of the hospital when my father was pronounced dead. Those images of time passing, trying to bring forth the sounds, the words...very heavy! I guess it is what we take from it that matters. If we land on the same page...all that much better.

Sue said...

Not that most accessible poem you've ever written, but well worth taking for a slow spin.

Love is a powerful thing; that's for sure.

=)

Sue said...

oops. Why do I never proofread?

make that "the" most accessible poem...

*sigh*

.)

Help! Mama Remote... said...

Is this a highschool crush?

Tara Miller said...

Hello love. I'll need to re-read this one again. Your woven words and the layers in this flew right over my head :) But I enjoyed the read, nonetheless...

Pat Hatt said...

Aww all lovey dovey with your x's and o's
But easily trumphs dreadful woes
As this is way better in real life
Bringing forth no strife
Had to read slow to take this one in
But as usual another win

nsiyer said...

Well written, Brian. Still echoing like the 2D echo recommended for the heart.

Myrna R. said...

This one left me wondering, even after a second read. I perceive love in it and life - an alphabet soup of sorts.

Brian Miller said...

eh, its overplayedin imagery...through the middle...the whole concept was spelling our someones name...being in love...all the crazzy modes of communication in the middle...kinda the craziness of loving someone that much...oh well....haha

Corbie said...

Brian,
I love the mix of food and love. Great deep poem but fun as well.
~Corbie Sinclair

Daydreamertoo said...

Loved the mind pictures.
Spelling words in zoodle letters and licking it off your fingers... LOL
Yuck! Nice read. :)

Mona said...

not overplayed! I think that the structural technique is brilliant here. I felt overwhelmed with the use of soft vowels between consonants in alliteration passage :

beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's out side the constraints
of tic tac toe

this is a very musical piece, very well structured !

kkrige said...

I love the opening stanza Brian, but I think that I too got lost in the images. Perhaps I need the simplified version.

Beachanny said...

I think it's the "stew of life" - pouring life's experiences into the pot of love and keeping hearth and home at its center. I thought it was a beautiful love poem, Brian. Very fine indeed. Gay

blueviolet said...

I'm not going to try to discern meaning from this. I can't think that hard today.

Natasha said...

Cast the stones, the runes will speak, as this write is quite the feat. For what it's worth, I've nodded off into poetic delusions while making soup for loved ones, but seldom have they made it to my notebook. The "leap" my mind took went from work, to love, to nightmares and secret wishes. Where you actually meant it to go...I am hoping was not set in the stones. ;)

siubhan said...

your imagery is visceral as ever, Brian. :)

Loved this, especially
"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,

beltaine, beltaine, blind body braille
dots and dashes deftly decoded
x's and o's..."

Steve E said...

I read all the wonderful comments--and forgot that I am to concentrate on BRIAN here--grin! Well, all I can add if that while reading this poem, I was breathless, that's the truth!

Good I can read fast, yes?

Carys said...

Love, life and language, all wonderfully combined in a delicious pot of soup. I've just finished writing an article on approaching writing on big themes by focussing on small details and this is a fantastic example. I am never disappointed when I pay you a visit Brian.

lynne said...

love is a stew. so many ingredients that leave a most wonderful taste in our mouth/mind.

this was fun to read:-)

Heather said...

i wrote a story about the letters Q and U meeting in a bowl of soup...ah, love! this one was great!

mrs mediocrity said...

quite the power close yourself on this one, as always, love the cadence, you are a master... the images here are wonderful, heartbreaking, real.

Pat said...

Well, I get MOST of it, anyway! Some beautiful lines in there!

Andy said...

Some vivid images throughout, but your ending sounds a bit dark to me.

ayala said...

Excellent, Brian. Great imagery. I will be back to read it again. :)

Ed Pilolla said...

this is the sweetness i thought was coming in the magpie tale:)

Dulce said...

How you can find so much sweetness even in the kitchen... amazing
:-)

C Rose said...

Starting with soup into a course of fantastic...where you mind goes is truly brilliant poetically.

The opening lines:

"i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon"

Sit perfectly! Great write ~ Rose

repressedsoul said...

Beltaine and apple pies, multilayered tenderness of something that used to be but isn't any more. Mr Miller, astounding depth in this poem.

Ruthiey said...

Sometimes I can't connect the words into a logical order, but I sure like the sounds of them sliding past my ears. :)

colleen said...

Reminds me of holding a shell to ear to hear the ocean. A whole world exists in the stir.

ModernMom said...

This one made me think, um more then usual!

~Kelvin S. M. said...

…ah, your ending note took the breath away… sweet.. you’re amazing! that’s it.. no further words to say.. just amazing!(:

Arron Shilling said...

Soft and intimate write Brian - imagery and all is so playful with some raunch at the end if i am not mistaken. this is so well spun - you hit the heart without being overly sentimental and as always your personality shines thru. This is the kind of smart and sexy poetry my GF wishes i could write her. It is possible to get lost in this piece - but you maintain a hip groove... U DA CAT WID DA COOL

PlauDITS!

jackie dick said...

This is so fevered...there are so many incredible images to jump to..stop that! But don't stop. Quite wonderful and original imagry here. This is a poem to be read over and over again to get meaning, frankly. But who cares...it's a ride on a poetic roller coaster. Okay, Brian!

Rick Dale, author of The Beat Handbook said...

Loved this line: "they bleed broth in small puddles." Great imagery.

Lady Nyo said...

I think this is got to be my favorite of yours. One more "angry young man' "urban warrior" and I was going to cream you.

This has such tenderness, expansion...peace. Haunting.

Lovely, Brian.

Lady Nyo

wolfsrosebud said...

Cool seeing love in so many different aspects of the day. Great word play...

zongrik said...

forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,


the arcane languages, what wife would allow this on her table? i guess one who appreciates ancient forms of communication.

Randy Behavior said...

A cup of Cambells for your thoughts... I'd pick out the limas too.

emmettwheatfall.com said...

Am I too late! Marvelous piece of writing. The creative thought set to verse, great stuff, from a great writer. Loved it! Keep it coming Brian.

Victoria said...

This one is complex, Brian. What I was experiencing at first was a reminder of when I first fell in love...doodling his name on the edges of my notes during an accounting class, thoughts of him invading every waking moment. Then it felt like you switched channels, but still an evocative affect on the reader. Maybe that's it, channel surfing. But then your poems always challenge and make us think/feel. That's why you're so good.

anglachel27 said...

I love all the places you go, the times and formats of expressing words you swirl together into this soup of remembering. Great read!

Jyoti Mishra said...

super intense and full of emotions n feelings.
Well summed up... in short a treat 4 readers

Anna @ waysidewordgarden said...

Love the title, and the imagery, esp the soup imagery...how true when one is in love they do see that loved one's name and image all over... creative write!

Joanne Elliott said...

Love these lines:

"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"

Interesting meditation on our human feelings and musings about love.

Leslie said...

i'm glad you enlightened those of us with less sharp minds... i got confused with the title and kept thinking about heart surgery and letting go of loved ones! but re-reading it, i can see all the images of fascination with spelling out and calling out the beloved's name :)

Terresa said...

The first stanza alone could be a poem in itself.

i hold your voice
in the concave of my ear
stirring it slow with a spoon

Perfectly writ.

marousia said...

I love you language 'soup'

poemblaze said...

wonderful imagery

Margie said...

It's wonderful how you love!
Wonderful poem!
Gosh, I'm amazed again at the depth of your writing!

Margie :)

lori said...

I found this to be much needed fun. It's been a long time since I've had alphabet soup or alpha bits cereal :) This is a good reminder to keep what's most important first, always. My favorite part is,

"they bleed broth in small puddles,
a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip

and think of you"

One good thing about his job loss, I get to see him more, and that's always a good thing :) Thanks for the encouraging words, friend.

KB said...

Hmmm, interesting.

Henry Clemmons said...

Way kool. Always inspiring!

Reflections said...

An amazing piece on so many levels... wondering if my thought processes are as clear as they feel, or if I have gone far beyond your intentions. I got the love connections, I got the versatility of imagery tying to the everyday... yet somehow you have made some of the turmoils of todays world poetically tender.

But then as one of your previous commentors said... it is about what you intend as well as what the reader takes away with them. What the connections are as they read.

adeeyoyo said...

Just as I feel when doing something that doesn't use brainpower. The mind wanders all over the place. Nice Brian. Hope the soup turned out good!

anointedruins said...

Brian, I really enjoy how this poem moves -- dances -- on so many different levels. Complex, evocative, and heartfelt, both tangible and heady. Superb!

David

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Really good. Thanks!

haikulovesongs said...

but then your soup gets cold....

i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.

i especially loved ~

"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"

i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}

loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.

see ya' later in the week (i hope.)

haikulovesongs said...

but then your soup gets cold....

i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.

i especially loved ~

"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"

i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}

loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.

see ya' later in the week (i hope.)

haikulovesongs said...

but then your soup gets cold....

i'd have cold soup any day to have someone spell my name out in his alpha bits.

i especially loved ~

"forming your name in arcane dead languages,
pictorials chizeled on prehistoric cave walls,
chants danced to by druids in stone circles,"

i apologize for my delay in commenting here, not replying to your comment at my blog yet and not visiting others at the Pub today ~ the left click mouse on my laptop broke {physically jammed} and i didn't know i could use the little pad thingy. anyway, it's not working well so i probably won't be around for a few days until my new mouse gets here. can't drive to pick one up at the moment. okay, waaaay too much information. sorry. {smile}

loved the layers in this and i don't know how/if you can do an audio post on blogger but it WOULD be amazing to hear you read any of your poems.

see ya' later in the week (i hope.)

Debbie Dawnslight said...

i love the title "echoes in cardiac amphitheaters," (almost expecting cardiac arrest...).So homey at first, yet you start "stirring is slow" - stirring the memory(?) in the "concave of (your) ear" and then from soup to stew... langugages and ancient ceremonies/chants... echoing... (and echoes do make things louder and longer and sometimes unclear).
and then *love the ending just as much as the opening to this write *
broth... puddles...
"a mess, i run my finger through
then suck the tip /
and think of you."
You have to taste your soup, don't you?... I had to read it several times, and i admit that i still don't "get" each line. I know that I must have misinterpreted what you set out for, but i wanted to share this excitement i feel after reading your poem. ~ cheers! Deb.

Lorraine said...

I regaled into the soup until the end, like pea soup I hated it, atta boy

Slamdunk said...

Ha, I think you have us all thinking now Brian--which is always a good thing.

Shah Wharton said...

I have no idea what this means - IT must be good? ;D Shah .X

kavita said...

So much love !
Often see you at Steve's and Margie .Dropped in to say Hi.

Eclipse said...

"...forming your name in arcane dead languages..." brilliant words... a lot of love is hiding here between the soup ingrediences :)

JStar said...

I so envy your word play...

Ravenblack said...

It touches many of the senses and I'm intrigued. So many different images from different eras, different sorts of communicative expressions, attempts at communication or so it seems to me. Is the narrator trying to remember what her voice really sounds like or recall what she said and only merely grasping what's left behind in memory?

He seems to be considering what she had said or perhaps what he overheard her saying. And whatever she had said or expressed has caused him to become fascinated with her and what she is about.

I like this poem that it seems open to these possibilities in my mind. I'm not entirely sure but it's an interesting picture.

AmyLK said...

This is lovely. Have to read it several times to follow it.

Elizabeth Young said...

I love this Brian! To me it speaks of family; the deep love of man and wife midst the alphabet soup and the mess of raising two sons!
This poem reminded me of my own family...

oceangirl said...

can't keep my eyes open, falling asleep now, just want to say it must be beautiful:)

signed...bkm said...

i got something very different here...and maybe i am all off..but i took this piece as a memory of a friend or brother or sister...killed in war and all that is left is memories of alphabet soup and playing tic, tac toe..in youth...please answer and i will re-read...bkm

Aida Bode said...

Wonderful, Brian! You know, what's interesting... Only by reading the last verse of each stanza, one can read and understand the same poem.. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but it surely is SMART and poetic :)

mairmusic said...

Wow-- the mixing up of senses in this one is crazy, and mostly works.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Who knows the montage of memory when you wait to hear if death stayed

Kerry O'Connor said...

Brian, you just never fail to deliver.. this is top drawer writing. Excellent work.

christi moon said...

Brian—
How do I love thee? Fantastic imagery woven throughout this modern love-struck piece.

really enjoyed this!

She Writes said...

I love this.

yellowhousecafe said...

Wish alphabet soup sent my muse to where yours went...fantastic write, indeed. Dug the word play, alliterations are fab ~

Joseph Hesch said...

Sorry I'm late, Brian. Life.

Isn't it funny where we see communication and language when we're receptive to the world. And isn't it important that we listen and look past the obvious to get our own meaning, our own message, to and from the world. Great vision and follow through on this piece.

James Rainsford said...

A complex and intriguing write with original imagery and an authentic voice. Loved it!

PattiKen said...

Like I said in my comment to you subsequent piece, they will never be bored. Behold, the power of imagination. Life, death, history, geography, and especially love... all in a bowl of soup.

william said...

very interesting mate, a bowl of soup eh, who would have thought lol..

tracy said...

This is one of the most beautiful love poems I have ever read. Unless it's not a love poem. LOL.

lucychili said...

gentle thoughtful

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...
I had to read your poem thrice in order to find a clue and then I realized that maybe impossible...Because each Of your commenter seems to interpret your poetic words in their on special way.
Therefore, I decide to play the words that come to mind game:

d'Verse,
poem,
Thinking Of,
strongly,
impassioned,
in love,
reflecting,
and lost in thoughts,
brian,
poet,
and [still] Thinking Of,
and
Thank-you,
for sharing!
deedee ;-D

Kavita said...

Woww.. a plethora of images and ideas... but that is exactly how our brains work, don't they? Hopping from one thought to another in a matter of nanoseconds, and all in connection with a certain person or thing... it's amazing really!

Nicely noodled .. oops.. I meant doodled.. :)