Thursday, August 25, 2011

55 - caught in the crossfire



a sticker on the bookstore bathroom
mirror reads:

Expect Resistance
(just above the hand washing sign)

i envision scum handed employees
sticking it to the man, all the while,
unleashing germ warfare
on innocent bystanders.

fleeing, i hear,
"can i help you?"

but don't look back,
unwilling to become collateral damage
in a misguided revolution.

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man. He opens it up at 8 pm tonight.

Over at dVerse today, Gay and special guest Poemblaze are writing much more eloquent poetry. It is sestina time at the poetry pub. Check them out.

92 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

LOL! Good one!

Titanium said...

Misguided about sums it up. Ick. Just... ick!!

David Allen Waters said...

ha, I always wonder why they need to be reminded to wash their hands whenever I see these signs , I mean dont you just do it automatically? Now you know why I dont shake hands.,..ever :)

Daniel said...

Actually I couldn't help but laugh after a read this one. I was expecting that some "fight the power" seriousness was your intention, but this was funny to me.

Goofball said...

hahahahaaaaaha

Tara Miller said...

EWWW! I don't even want to think about that one!

Mighty M said...

I always have hand sanitizer on me!

Monkey Man said...

There are enough rumors about what goes on inside a restaurant kitchen without adding this to the mix. Ack!

Ed Pilolla said...

haha! that's very funny.
still, it would be nice to be part of any sort of successful revolution:)

Jannie Funster said...

i just worry about them touching the dirty doorknobs with those dirty hands. ug.

-- OCD in Austin.

xo

Jannie Funster said...

I mean with those clean hands.

--Still OCD in Austin :)

Magpie said...

This is why one of my friends won't frequent libraries...germophobic. I love libraries but they are quickly becoming computer labs.

happygirl said...

I just hope no one brings books into the bathroom with them. (seinfeld)

Tabor said...

Now you have reminded me how dirty some employees can be...waiters, waitresses. I am going to pretend I live in a perfect world.

Myrna R. said...

This was cute, though now I'm not going to be so comfortable at restaurants. Why do people need to be reminded to wash their hands? Ugh!

Brian Miller said...

smiles. tryign to lighten the mood...too man..."this made me cry" comments this week...saw the sticker and my imagination took over...

snohomishwriter said...

Hello there. I just stumbled on to your blog today. I'll keep an eye on it, as I like what I've read so far. Take care.

oceangirl said...

expect resistance, i like, i think that is what i'll put on now.

hedgewitch said...

HA! That's as good as "Question Authority!" Great concept--somehow, not so much with the hygiene, however. ;_) Loved it, brian.

ayala said...

I don't even want to imagine...:) nice!

G-Man said...

I hate eating restaurant food for that very reason!
Excellent Public Service 55 Son..
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End....Pops

lori said...

No tears today, all smiles, lol. That's good stuff. "Expect resistance." I'd kind of like to meet the guy that placed that sticker there. He must have an excellent sense of humor :)

Pat Hatt said...

This is one revolution I will NEVER EVER join
Not even for coin
Ok maybe I can be bought with a load
But it take a lot to make me go down that road
Just nasty that some mooks have to be reminded to wash their hands
Thinking of what them shaking yours and imagining them touching their ummm glands
And then not washing coming to you
That is just one big ewww
Look you made my ocd flare up
Another reason I avoid resturants and never drink from an unknown cup..haha

Victoria said...

Now this is a poem that can be read on more than one level if you're a bit neurotic like me. Wash those hands! Reinforces my OCD.

Fireblossom said...

Scum-handed employees? Eww, Brian!

blueviolet said...

I wrote a post about this once because I left a Pizza Hut after an employee pooped and didn't wash!

Ruthiey said...

What Eva said - "Good one!"

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...
Good one Brian...I have to second the notion and response like some Of your commenter and say...Ewww!
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-D

Linda said...

Visions of "You're not the boss of me!" flashing through my little mind.

Jyoti Mishra said...

LOL... that was funny.

KB and Whitesnake said...

My friend used to be a health inspector, I hardly ever eat out after some of the stories I've heard from him...nice one, Brian.

KB

Heather said...

ha ha - uggg- I don't like think about that...but you are soooo right! i like the pic, too!
oh yes, and I agree with happy girl....ill never forget that seinfeld episode! :)

magiceye said...

lol! that was fun!

Teresa said...

Too funny!

Teresa said...

Too funny!

secret agent woman said...

I always picture an employee insisting on washing MY hands.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

mother's training... hehehe... got used to it til now...

JJRod'z

Christine said...

Try working with money all day long, I cringe every time I accidentally lick my finger as I count the cash out. (I haven't had the flu in 2 yrs, I must have a strong resistance)

iblogmoore (Amanda Moore) said...

gosh I am pretty sure I would run too! By the way Brian I hope your birthday was great, 38 is no big deal wait til your 48 then you can say Crap!

Sue said...

heehee

=D

ladyfi said...

This brought a smile to my face!

Mona said...

Hehehe :D If only you knew what they must be eating at a restaurant! :D

Lydia said...

It is genius the way you worked in different things to make up your 55 words: intro, sign, poem commentary. Wow, Brian.

I knew a guy who was a server in a fine restaurant during law school. One of the other servers got stiffed a tip by a large party one night. He followed them out of the restaurant and said to the man who had paid the bill, "I spit in your soup." I was never clear on whether he had done that or if just the thought of it was payback...

Zeba said...

Yuccky. I would do the same. I love how creative you are. I just do. :)


And I can't just tie my shoelace and walk out of my house because I am in Saudi Arabia right now. A place where a woman/girl is not allowed anywhere outside alone. You need to be accompanied by a man you are related to. Also, it is so hot I am scared I will die of sun stroke or something. Hence the lamenting. But. Traveling to India soon so don't worry about me. :)

Again. Wonderful stuff. Also, I am jealous you got to travel with Offsprings. There. I said it.

Valerie said...

I've been in places where that sign would have been necessary. Now I wait for a safer place... like home.

Lord Thomas of Wellington said...

I hate doors that you have to pull open while going out of restrooms... yuk!

adeeyoyo said...

Nowadays I think it's impossible to have clean hands unless you keep all the paraphernalia (sp?) in your handbag, haha, and then you still have to open and close it. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!

Zuzana said...

This was somehow funny and reminded me how I reluctantly buy food at small stands at fairs as I often wonder where (if) the sellers ever wash their hands.;))
Have a great weekend dear Brian,
xoxo

lucychili said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linc said...

Gross, and fascinating! Your perfect adjectives are truly a signature part of your simple and effective style.

izzy said...

Expect resistance! I agree; cheers-

haikulovesongs said...

LOVE this! are you going to start wearing one glove now?

{you really don't want to eat at any restaurants, brian. you KNOW what goes on there.....}

She Writes said...

:)!!!!!

Thank you for the note at my blog, Brian!

xxamy

TechnoBabe said...

Some day there will no more hand shaking, no more touching door handles, no more kitchens in the back in the restaurants, we will want to see what the cooks are touching.

TALON said...

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I was heading to the bookstore this afternoon...I guess I'd better pick up some hand sanitizer ;)

Daydreamertoo said...

Oooo Yuck!
Isn't it awful when you think of what we humans get up to and then don't wash our hands before we do anything else. We are really all ticking timb bombs waiting to pass on all types of disease and, we do!
Nice write Brain. Packs another punch in it's truth.

Akelamalu said...

It's amazing just how many people DON'T wash their hands after using the bathroom - ewwwwww!

PattiKen said...

Eewwww...

Alice Audrey said...

Me too. I want to admire their attitude, but can't.

snohomishwriter said...

Thanks for commenting on my latest poem, Brian!

SueAnn said...

Unexpected and it had me laughing!
Hugs
SueAnn

CM said...

Ewwww, I'd be running out the door too!

Celestial Dreamz said...

oh i dont even want to imagine! ... good one ... lolz

Mama Zen said...

Yikes! The revolution will not be sanitized!

Natasha said...

Brian! You've got Bubbles in the picture! ( he's my favorite trailer park boy!) This is really rather gross...I've paid my dues in the food service sector...oh yes, we indeed have lots to fear..uggg! You made my skin crawl with this one...erase! erase!

Heaven said...

This was funny..

Happy day ~

Nara Malone said...

Luaghing hard. I may just stick with ebooks.

Claudia said...

ha ha - ya know...i think washing hands is overrated..and i think the washbowl is a good place to train for the big revolutions...LOL

Deidra said...

Oh my goodness that's perfect. I've had that very same thought. Although not quite as eloquently as you.

Olivia said...

eauuuhh.. lolssss
Perhaps using "sanitizer" should be a mandate..

hugs xo

Dulce said...

this maks me think about all we touch which someone previouly touched, whose hands who know where they were... after all we we are immune to lots of germs

♥ Braja said...

I love my Kindle....

Pat said...

Made me grin....I am a germaphobe - especially in public bathrooms!

Rek said...

This was a really enjoyable 55..I am trying to imagine such a scene in reality. :)

Ali said...

nice one... now where'd I leave that Purell?? oh yeah it's right here surgically attached to my knee for times of emergency!!

hope said...

It's sad when someone reaches to shake your hand and internally you're thinking, "Geez, when's the last time that saw soap and water?"

I loved this one!

Fred said...

Hah, pretty funny, have to say me and my friends used to laugh about stuff like that, daring each to shake the clerks hands. But that was a while ago, still funny and well phrased. Always can use a laugh, so thanks

Tina said...

As an immigrant from Sweden, these signs puzzled me from age 9 when we moved to the US. Why in the on earth wouldn't a person wash his hands? Do they want to get punished??? (Not that the punishments were severe, mind you, most just involved picking up all the trash in the bathroom and then RE-WASHING those offending hands...) But still, why chance it?
Tina @ Life is Good

Donnetta said...

Expect resistance! I just love that. D

yellowhousecafe said...

I always washed my hands, but NOT because big brother Barnes told me to, I'm a germaphobe! Now I'm in the libraryworld where the whole dang place is diseased...esp the tech room, oy!

AmyLK said...

Ewe! I will be thinking of that sign the next time I eat out! Shiver.

drybottomgirl said...

A few germs helps build up your immune system! Just kidding but I don't think we would ever be able to get all the germs that surround us! cute! Hope you and yours have an awesome weekend!

kkrige said...

ahem, perhaps a little hand sanitizer is in order. A fun quirky post Brian.

sharplittlepencil said...

Brian, every time I go to Barnes and Noble I will see that sign, think of you, and laugh about the coming germ warfare revolution!

@DAWaters: I've always wondered what was up with those signs as well. Horrifying, though, how many adults don't know HOW to wash their hands... Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/thirteen-ways-of-looking-at-men/

Lorraine said...

whoa and fantastic, I saw that once at a cafeteria-type, I wash washing my hands and this toat-maker went to the washroom and then left without washing her hand,the thought isnot pleasant

Friko said...

fantastic!
your brain must be busier than Spaghetti Junction (a very busy motorway junction in the Midlands, UK)

Someone is Special said...

Nice way to paint a click.. Loved it Brian..

Someone is Special

tony said...

☣ Beware Of Employees With Sticky Fingers...........☢

Cheryl said...

Sweet!

nance marie said...

run, man, run!

pandamoniumcat said...

Very good! But yes a little icky!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

There's one of these in the bathroom where I work also.

We always joke about it as if we, as employees WOULDN'T??

Since when do you moderate your comments?
:(