Thursday, August 11, 2011

55: Burn



blindfolded and bleeding, Justice lies
gang raped on shower tiles,

a communion meal, on which engorge,
taking her name in vein,

her bastard children, rioting and looting
down her legs in runnels

nail her to the scale, once held,
symbolizing their crusade.

she is the new religion, fell prey
to the fifth apocalyptic horseman,

ignorance.

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

Over at dVerse, Gay Cannon and special guest, , are teaching on how to write a Ghazal. Go check it out, will be working on mine tonight.

83 comments:

David Allen Waters said...

Dude...ignorance is a bitch. You certainly pull no punches with this one...preach bro :)

Duane Scott said...

Whoa.

You aren't scared to say it.

Heaven said...

Powerful words there Brian.

I almost puked in disgust.

Am working on my Ghazal form and will post later ~

ayala said...

ignorance an awful downfall...great and powerful write, Brian.

Ed Pilolla said...

dig it. definitely big power in his one. it's like a flurry of punches, with the last the knockout:)

Eva Gallant said...

Wow! That makes one sit up and take notice!

Bonnie said...

So ignorant - they have no idea they are ignorant. Then combine the ignorance with ideological fundamentalism of any kind ... and they put us all at risk ...

Thanks Brian.

kaykuala said...

Mob culture even for a small group can be lethal, let alone a rioting mob.You brought out their base nature so strongly. Great!

Pat Hatt said...

You made my cringe at the second line
That is no where near fine..haha
You ignorance isn't always bliss
But most of the time it's a bitch you can't miss

tracy said...

Very relevant, Brian.

Claudia said...

dang brian - this is powerful, great images, strong words...goes bang, bang, bang and ends with a cannon shot..awesome!

Mama Zen said...

This is hard core. Excellent write, Brian.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey Brian, That made me sit straight up in my chair! Wow.

Just back from a long absence and off to read more of your brilliance.

Cheers, jj

Brian Miller said...

this was my initial reaction to seeing london burning and the riots, of course..

Daniel said...

I am not getting this one, even after reading the comments from other and you. Usually I am reasonably sharp at buying what your selling as it were. Maybe I had some bad Wheaties this a.m..

pandamoniumcat said...

Great poem, says what it must!

Just Be Real said...

Painful truth.

Monkey Man said...

You'd have thought you read G-man's 55 before you wrote this. Great coincidence how they tied together.

Christina - Rant Rave Roll said...

Wow... you pulled out the big guns on this one Brian. Well done.

lori said...

This is so intense. Your imagery is jarring and disturbing, which makes the story all the more powerful. Really amazing, Brian.

As far as d'Verse goes today, I'm trying to wrap my brain around Ghazal, but it's not clicking for me yet. We'll see if I can figure it out :)

Heather said...

this is very intense. i like what bonnie said!

Sophia said...

Ignorance...hmmm...

G-Man said...

Brian...
Using pics to go with your story?
I Love It!!!
Very Real 55 Son...
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Tara Miller said...

Ignorance---and the snowball effect. And these riots just keep spreading all over; not justice at all -ignorance sparked by rash, emotional choices.

Enjoyed reading your reaction to the London riots, love

Magpie said...

Powerful!

Alice Audrey said...

So much for bliss.

yellowhousecafe said...

Brutally good 55, Brian...a crazy time in this here world of ours, way to symbolize it in words ~

Teresa said...

Truly ignorance will be the downfall of modern society.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

ignorance

Hi! Brian...
Is your image just as powerful as your very poetic 55 words?...Or is your 55 poetic words just as powerful as your image. Nope, I think that both compliment each other nicely!
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-D

TALON said...

Yikes! Graphic, Brian, but rings with truth.

Cloudia said...

ignorance is on the move...



Aloha from Waikiki;

BLOGGER is not updating my links again, so please come and visit; thanks!


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Cloudia said...

see my Thursday post if you will...

KB and Whitesnake said...

Scary stuff.

KB

Margie said...

Very powerful words!
Scary!

Seasideauthor said...

Gosh, sounds like UK. Ignorance is everywhere. This write does invoke a nausea feeling. Moving...Thanks for the read.

ladyfi said...

Powerfully written.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

That was deep,extremely strong words,it left me visually sadden,great work

MorningAJ said...

Very fitting for what's been happening here this week.

Great words. As usual.

Pseudo said...

The first two lines grabbed me. You just keep getting better Brian.

anthonynorth said...

Powerful words excellently done.

Lydia said...

Yes! Yes and yes and yes to bringing ignorance out in the open, for exposing it for all its ugliness.
Maybe consider submitting this to a UK newspaper, print or online (and hang on to it for submission in the U.S. in the 2012 elections).

Zuzana said...

This reminds me of that terrible situation in the UK. Ignorance is the worst thing there is in the world and combined with fear it can create hell on Earth.
Wonderfully poignant in so few lines...
Have a lovely Friday and weekend dear Brian,
xoxo

secret agent woman said...

I've been watching the images coming out of England with the riots and fires there - so frightening and sad.

tony said...

Lord Save Us From Crusades.Powerful Writing Brian.

Goofball said...

choking

Lorraine said...

oh Brian! (definetely on a positive if somewhat hurting note)

adeeyoyo said...

I thought those days were over long ago...

Daydreamertoo said...

So sad because it's so true, too.

magiceye said...

very powerful!

Dulce said...

Wow MAN! Are you ok?
This is not sweet at all, the cruel actuality hurts so well in your words.

outstanding 55er.

drybottomgirl said...

So true...my oldest and I discuss world events at night. At almost 17 he's so full of questions, and its so difficult for even someone my age to comprehend this type of bloodied violence. Sigh... you hit home with this 55. Have a great weekend....

DJan said...

You have encapsulated my despair of the recent events in the world, Brian. Hideous.

Valerie said...

Wow! You packed no punches there, Brian.

TechnoBabe said...

Oh man, you nailed this one in a superb manner. You can write! This is awesome.

Whosyergurl said...

powerful words.
powerful truth.

excellent writing.
Cheryl

Jyoti Mishra said...

bitter truth unleashed..
powerful usage of words.... Loved it.
Enjoyable read !!

5thsister said...

The ignorant, blinded by the jersey they wear, deaf to reason, reach out and lash at anything standing in their way. This one hits in the gut, Brian

Mighty M said...

Very, very powerful.

Sue said...

This really fits for me today.
I can hardly stand to watch the news lately.

=/

Fred said...

Dude you just flat out rule the short form. It truly amazes me, how much you can pack into the 55 words or less. Hats off once again

sheila said...

Wow! thunderous!

RNSANE said...

Scary stuff and that's, so often, just how it is!

Mine is at:

http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/08/friday-flash-55-playing-with-pooches.html#links

Have a delicious weekend!

hedgewitch said...

Good one, brian--chillingly apt for our dysfunctional world right now. Sorry to be so late to the party, but glad I came to watch if not play.

Myrna R. said...

The first two lines startled me, then you continue with the truth of justice contaminated by ignorance. This was hard to read but, as always, brilliant.

AmyLK said...

So true. Justice is getting pushed aside by ignorance. Love the way you tell it in 55!

JStar said...

Very blunt and raw...Real feelings flow through your words...Horror

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Ignorance breeds ignorance. Apathy is her cousin.

C Rose said...

Wow Brian powerfully expressed and a perfect commentary on the decline we fall into with ignorant bliss. Truly enjoyed this piece ~ Rose

Luke P said...

holy shit this is powerful, ghazal or not. the 'vein' wordplay is masterful and kick me in the guts evocative

li said...

Beautiful in its raw ugliness. How true, that Ignorance is the 5th Horseman, and I believe is the front rider preparing the path for the rest.

Pat said...

Powerful and raw...ouch!

Christine said...

Gritty to the core.

Vicki Lane said...

Yikes -- strong one, Brian. Powerful words.

Steve E said...

Wonderful piece, metaphorically writing what most Peeps saw, felt--and prayerfully shuddered.

Ignorance: "It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going." Hmmmm.

Brian, you are so far above..... and beyond?--grin!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I've seen ignorance so often from people who think if we're not all the same, we must be aliens. Fine, I'm from outta-space!

Nice words, Brian.
CJ xx

Anna @ waysidewordgarden said...

Ignorance wounds, kills. Powerful and aching.

hope said...

Scary and sadly true.

Natasha said...

The 5th horseman indeed, and I think we all know for whom the bell tolls...and I think we all know what roll we have played in the injustice. I will not sit and claim there is no blood on my hands, for I was a youth who rebelled in ways I'm not proud. I simply pray my Mother will forgive me, and not forsake us all!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wow! Powerful and excellent!

Syd said...

So much ignorance on so many fronts today. People letting other people do the thinking for them. Not very smart.

Sheila Moore said...

wow - this is one of your best IMHO. the first stanza made me think of Elisabeth Shue in the movie Leaving Las Vegas. (very sad.)

Katherine said...

Ignorance is probably the most dangerous element in society today. The inability to empathise or anticipate outcomes to thoughtless actions is what has created this violent world we live in today. Deep 55!

Olivia said...

That is intense Brian!
Raw n very powerfully expressed.. it hurt!

hugs xo