blindfolded and bleeding, Justice lies
gang raped on shower tiles,
a communion meal, on which engorge,
taking her name in vein,
her bastard children, rioting and looting
down her legs in runnels
nail her to the scale, once held,
symbolizing their crusade.
she is the new religion, fell prey
to the fifth apocalyptic horseman,
ignorance.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Over at dVerse, Gay Cannon and special guest, , are teaching on how to write a Ghazal. Go check it out, will be working on mine tonight.
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83 comments:
Dude...ignorance is a bitch. You certainly pull no punches with this one...preach bro :)
Whoa.
You aren't scared to say it.
Powerful words there Brian.
I almost puked in disgust.
Am working on my Ghazal form and will post later ~
ignorance an awful downfall...great and powerful write, Brian.
dig it. definitely big power in his one. it's like a flurry of punches, with the last the knockout:)
Wow! That makes one sit up and take notice!
So ignorant - they have no idea they are ignorant. Then combine the ignorance with ideological fundamentalism of any kind ... and they put us all at risk ...
Thanks Brian.
Mob culture even for a small group can be lethal, let alone a rioting mob.You brought out their base nature so strongly. Great!
You made my cringe at the second line
That is no where near fine..haha
You ignorance isn't always bliss
But most of the time it's a bitch you can't miss
Very relevant, Brian.
dang brian - this is powerful, great images, strong words...goes bang, bang, bang and ends with a cannon shot..awesome!
This is hard core. Excellent write, Brian.
Hey Brian, That made me sit straight up in my chair! Wow.
Just back from a long absence and off to read more of your brilliance.
Cheers, jj
this was my initial reaction to seeing london burning and the riots, of course..
I am not getting this one, even after reading the comments from other and you. Usually I am reasonably sharp at buying what your selling as it were. Maybe I had some bad Wheaties this a.m..
Great poem, says what it must!
Painful truth.
You'd have thought you read G-man's 55 before you wrote this. Great coincidence how they tied together.
Wow... you pulled out the big guns on this one Brian. Well done.
This is so intense. Your imagery is jarring and disturbing, which makes the story all the more powerful. Really amazing, Brian.
As far as d'Verse goes today, I'm trying to wrap my brain around Ghazal, but it's not clicking for me yet. We'll see if I can figure it out :)
this is very intense. i like what bonnie said!
Ignorance...hmmm...
Brian...
Using pics to go with your story?
I Love It!!!
Very Real 55 Son...
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Ignorance---and the snowball effect. And these riots just keep spreading all over; not justice at all -ignorance sparked by rash, emotional choices.
Enjoyed reading your reaction to the London riots, love
Powerful!
So much for bliss.
Brutally good 55, Brian...a crazy time in this here world of ours, way to symbolize it in words ~
Truly ignorance will be the downfall of modern society.
ignorance
Hi! Brian...
Is your image just as powerful as your very poetic 55 words?...Or is your 55 poetic words just as powerful as your image. Nope, I think that both compliment each other nicely!
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-D
Yikes! Graphic, Brian, but rings with truth.
ignorance is on the move...
Aloha from Waikiki;
BLOGGER is not updating my links again, so please come and visit; thanks!
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
see my Thursday post if you will...
Scary stuff.
KB
Very powerful words!
Scary!
Gosh, sounds like UK. Ignorance is everywhere. This write does invoke a nausea feeling. Moving...Thanks for the read.
Powerfully written.
That was deep,extremely strong words,it left me visually sadden,great work
Very fitting for what's been happening here this week.
Great words. As usual.
The first two lines grabbed me. You just keep getting better Brian.
Powerful words excellently done.
Yes! Yes and yes and yes to bringing ignorance out in the open, for exposing it for all its ugliness.
Maybe consider submitting this to a UK newspaper, print or online (and hang on to it for submission in the U.S. in the 2012 elections).
This reminds me of that terrible situation in the UK. Ignorance is the worst thing there is in the world and combined with fear it can create hell on Earth.
Wonderfully poignant in so few lines...
Have a lovely Friday and weekend dear Brian,
xoxo
I've been watching the images coming out of England with the riots and fires there - so frightening and sad.
Lord Save Us From Crusades.Powerful Writing Brian.
choking
oh Brian! (definetely on a positive if somewhat hurting note)
I thought those days were over long ago...
So sad because it's so true, too.
very powerful!
Wow MAN! Are you ok?
This is not sweet at all, the cruel actuality hurts so well in your words.
outstanding 55er.
So true...my oldest and I discuss world events at night. At almost 17 he's so full of questions, and its so difficult for even someone my age to comprehend this type of bloodied violence. Sigh... you hit home with this 55. Have a great weekend....
You have encapsulated my despair of the recent events in the world, Brian. Hideous.
Wow! You packed no punches there, Brian.
Oh man, you nailed this one in a superb manner. You can write! This is awesome.
powerful words.
powerful truth.
excellent writing.
Cheryl
bitter truth unleashed..
powerful usage of words.... Loved it.
Enjoyable read !!
The ignorant, blinded by the jersey they wear, deaf to reason, reach out and lash at anything standing in their way. This one hits in the gut, Brian
Very, very powerful.
This really fits for me today.
I can hardly stand to watch the news lately.
=/
Dude you just flat out rule the short form. It truly amazes me, how much you can pack into the 55 words or less. Hats off once again
Wow! thunderous!
Scary stuff and that's, so often, just how it is!
Mine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2011/08/friday-flash-55-playing-with-pooches.html#links
Have a delicious weekend!
Good one, brian--chillingly apt for our dysfunctional world right now. Sorry to be so late to the party, but glad I came to watch if not play.
The first two lines startled me, then you continue with the truth of justice contaminated by ignorance. This was hard to read but, as always, brilliant.
So true. Justice is getting pushed aside by ignorance. Love the way you tell it in 55!
Very blunt and raw...Real feelings flow through your words...Horror
Ignorance breeds ignorance. Apathy is her cousin.
Wow Brian powerfully expressed and a perfect commentary on the decline we fall into with ignorant bliss. Truly enjoyed this piece ~ Rose
holy shit this is powerful, ghazal or not. the 'vein' wordplay is masterful and kick me in the guts evocative
Beautiful in its raw ugliness. How true, that Ignorance is the 5th Horseman, and I believe is the front rider preparing the path for the rest.
Powerful and raw...ouch!
Gritty to the core.
Yikes -- strong one, Brian. Powerful words.
Wonderful piece, metaphorically writing what most Peeps saw, felt--and prayerfully shuddered.
Ignorance: "It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going." Hmmmm.
Brian, you are so far above..... and beyond?--grin!
I've seen ignorance so often from people who think if we're not all the same, we must be aliens. Fine, I'm from outta-space!
Nice words, Brian.
CJ xx
Ignorance wounds, kills. Powerful and aching.
Scary and sadly true.
The 5th horseman indeed, and I think we all know for whom the bell tolls...and I think we all know what roll we have played in the injustice. I will not sit and claim there is no blood on my hands, for I was a youth who rebelled in ways I'm not proud. I simply pray my Mother will forgive me, and not forsake us all!
Wow! Powerful and excellent!
So much ignorance on so many fronts today. People letting other people do the thinking for them. Not very smart.
wow - this is one of your best IMHO. the first stanza made me think of Elisabeth Shue in the movie Leaving Las Vegas. (very sad.)
Ignorance is probably the most dangerous element in society today. The inability to empathise or anticipate outcomes to thoughtless actions is what has created this violent world we live in today. Deep 55!
That is intense Brian!
Raw n very powerfully expressed.. it hurt!
hugs xo
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