check, check, microphone,
(check the trash)
can you hear me?
(take account of what you waste)
is this thing on?
(you can't get it back)
(it hurts but...)
cut
what can you say in 160 characters? Say it, then go see Monkey.
Ideally this is a variation on a cleave poem. you can read it all together, or just what is in parenthesis, or what is not in parenthesis and it should still make sense as long as you end each with the last word. The original note in my notebook was...
what is it worth to you,
i can tell you, are you
willing to waste it, well
then not much
checking your trash,
i gotta ask,
whats left?
Posts
65 comments:
When I read about trash it made me think about the parody I did of you a long time ago....
http://wizardofotin.blogspot.com/2009/09/waystation-too.html
LOL!
Keep up the fight...(they are reading you too.)
So today you wanted to take out the trash
That leaves a bad rash
Or just make sure the trash is in check
Or what the heck
Just wanted to see if you missed something in the bin
If it was good that could be a sin
But doubtful as trash is usually just that
But one's trash is another's treasure or pleasure, whether human or rat
This is so cool! I like your original, note too...enjoy your Sunday - Thanks for the well wishes on Sunday Sketch! :)
Nice. Pretty cool form, I've tried things similar before, but you hit a home run here. Just like you said you can read it all together or just the parenthetical parts. Creative piece indeed
I really enjoy how much can be packed into 160 little characters. Thanks for playing along, Brother B.
it amazes me that you can say so much using so little words...bravo ;)
just 160 character is a big challenge... But you wrote really well... :)
the original note from your notebook was even more sweet :)
AMAZING, Brian!
(What?)
Again, I'm
(What now?)
Wasting time
(Ya cannot retrieve.)
There's more where that
(Don't say 'more'....)
Came from--not going back....
Like I said: AMAZING Mr B!
All these new horizons you're exploring. Wonderful.
Both poems are great. I like them each in their own way. Kinda say the same thing, but then kinda don't.
Yes, all this exploring is great. You are amazing. You are awesome. You are the greatest. You are blessed with a great ability. You are you. And we thank you for sharing parts of you.
God bless.
I actually check my trash often, desperately trying to get everything in to it. I live with pack rats. We even take other people's trash home.
All forms go straight in the trash for me.
That's pretty "neat"!!
I looked up CLEAVE poetry. Hadn't heard of it. Very interesting.
Keeps your mind sharp.. continuity and contrast. Almost from two points of view. Three in one. I like that. This is very good.
This challenge still stumps me but I find the topic a coincidence since we just fixed our trash this morning.
The revised one is creative but I like the original note though...specially the question at the end.
Happy sunday ~
love these minimalist poems...cuts right to the chase.
I had never heard of this. Cool.
Interesting style. I read this with a deeper level having recently read something Alphabet Junkie wrote:
"We are so wasteful of one another."
Cleave poem. I love learning new things. Testing... To make sure I stay sustainable. :)
Just spending time reading through and catching up. I get lost in your writing in a good way. So amazing, Brian.
The original may be my favorite version.
Very cool. I'm not at all familiar with that form.
Recycle!
You and your clever way with words.
ugh...you're diving really deep here..way beyond household trash...this damn mic... *off to check the trash*
Loved this concept Brian. Blessings.
Sharp? Cutting commentary? Okay--no groans. I like writing that way sometimes--didn't know it had a name. Must be from Ohio--that's Cleave-land, right?
*runs away fast*
This is really original (like everything else you write).
How can you make trash an artistic endeavor?
Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing [and a great use Of 160 words]...for what it's worth I say that "recycling" is the key word here...
Hmmm...unless your poem is focusing on the "waste not want not" angle?!?
Either way, a very interesting style Of poetry [which is a variation on ..."cleave poetry?!?"]
deedee ;-D
Excellent cleavage here!
:)
xo
i was wondering where you'd take the waste management theme. you did manage to even make garbage sound good ;)
loved what Jaime said!
makes an interesting read. i enjoyed it. and they were all nice with message and clear drama in them.
Very clever, I've had to read it a few times to understand what you did! Certainly different, but I like the original version better.
Clever, Brian . Happy Sunday ! :)
Cleave poem! Very interesting! It made it look like 2 separate takes.
Cleave poem is a new term for me too, although i have seen them before. Just never heard them referred as that before. Thanks for the lesson Brian. :)
Creative Brian. The two blend well.
Very cool!
Very cool. This is another new one for me. In few words, you've still given a lot to think about. Favorite line is, "(it hurts but...)" Three little words with a lot of meaning.
Very cool poem, love. I also enjoyed reading the notes from your notebook. How true it is....if we only paid attention to how much we really do waste. I think this also speaks well of delayed gratification. So often we want "stuff" now and then once we have it - it's not really that important anymore and it gets added to the pile of waste. If only we would wait....
Brian, I really like that Tara replies to your poetry and leaves the best comments!
I really liked both of these!
Thank you!
Margie :)
Reminds me of a story I read about some fellow going through Bob Dylan's trash. I guess that was in the time before shredders.
Our city does recycling so I try to accommodate that bin as much as I can. I've been trying to keep as little as I can going to the landfill. I think a lot more people are becoming aware--at least in Los Angeles they are.
Lee
Tossing It Out
I like the cleave poem :)
we do trash without thinking sometimes, and then we dig the trash again ;)
Dear Brian, both poems are great, but I like the way the first one evolved from your original note.;)
As always, in life it is important to realize in time what to throw out. And what to keep.;)
Have a great Monday dear friend,
xoxo
Clever. Once again I'm impressed. I just got through sorting trash for the refuse collectors... for once there wasn't much.
I like how you added the original post too.
Cool!
I don't want you to think less of me, but I throw it all out, then after a few minor minutes I go back, and go through the trash and take it all back
very provocative piece ;)
Love the parody!!! Fun read
Hugs
SueAnn
I like it:)
This was great!
Cute. You need to be careful what you say when the mic is still live.
nice!
Love the cleave poem - both poems are great!
i can hear you:) we throw out trash and discard our own talents, a ritual wasting...
I'm calling you the Word Wizard from now on. You rock.
Interesting form and new to me.
You kicked its trash.
;)
Makes me think of a saying my Mum used to say to me... actually No, she drummed it into all ours heads as we were growing up. "Waste not, want not!"
This was great Brian! You clever man, you!
Very cool form! I love the way it reads separately but flows together as well. You pack a punch with few words.
Love the sparse-effective of this. Quietly stunning stuff.
I like the first one more
Wasted Trash.... hmm!!
Those were some meaningful words for being trash!
hugs xo
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