today, boy became man
by his own definition, (n.),
street cred built, larger
than his stature
"yeah, i did it, so?"
no re-morse, code
for, "look at me, i
am a badass."
til that hand lands
top his head, helping
him ina back seat
an'a lone tear ran
yeah boy, now you a man
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Over at d'Verse today we are looking at critique, so drop in.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
92 comments:
a sweet moment in time...you convey emotion into print like no other man...
they grow up fast, huh ;)
Time for a man-to-man chat with that boy, I say. Powerfully conveyed, Brian. Felt like I was standing right there, listening.
Haha do they ever become 'men'? I've got a 24 year old that still gets the odd back slap
Pubic hair and a voice change don't quite make a man.
Little do they know not to rush things.
Excellent 55 Son...
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
wow that is a powerful story in 55
I hope the story changes for this boy
This is riveting, in large part because it reminds me of my niece's 15-yr-old son. I visited them in Minnesota in June. She has quit her job to guide him through this summer. Judging from what I witnessed and from the reports of the heat wave, she and that badass "man" will remember this one.
Every time I read one of your super 55s I think I must try a 55....
they just think they rule the world but the ground under their feet is brittle..good when they realize for a minute before they withdraw again - and good when they got someone who helps them see..he's the one you were talking about?
I used to know the Morse Code...then later (after boy scout year) the No Re-Morse code.
Brian, your style is UNIQUE! (And I 'never' use that word--in fact, who does?--grin!)
Walk like a man, talk like a man. Who sang that? Someone with a high voice, I'm thinking I remember.
happy 55 day!
xoxo
So, this totally made my eyes water. You are such a great story-teller, Brian. I never tire of hearing what you have to say :)
Nice, Brian..."an'a lone tear ran" great storytelling. :)
Wow. Hand on top of head, going into the police car is what I saw.
And then a boy does become a man.
WAY before his time.
Manhood. Misunderstood. We all miss its meaning at times. But perhaps boys especially lose track of what it means to be a man. Or is it us who lose track of what it means to a boy to be a man?
powerful emotions conveyed in 55, Brian. you can get more across in 55 words or 160 characters than anyone else i know.
{going to stop crying now.}
I got this one completely. I have seen way too many news stories of this sort. Everything thrown away because of all the wrong type of input. Dang.
We think we're so grown up at that age.
Tough stuff - such a misconception, this boy's definition of manhood.
Brian - loving your words on this site. Really, really good stuff man! Love the rawness of this one.
So much testosterone, so little brain.
I think I sorta skipped that
As Pat is still a weird duck, says the cat
But yes most think on that day they magically change
And their age should rearrange
Knowing all like they were thirty one
Eventually getting knocked down a ton
So I keep telling my son, but does he listen?
okay this is really cool how you did this. It is so sad that so many of us realize that "being a man" has consequences the hard way.
This takes me back to the time my grown sons were 13, and it rings so true. Somehow they outgrow that stage and become young men that make you proud!
Slice of life--it takes more than years and words to make a man.It even takes more than acting like an idiot, (though that never hurts.:P) I like it when you tell it like it is.
You're breaking my heart here, Brian!
Ya, you're a man, though you'll wish you weren't.
Oh, I'm remembering when my son turned 13, I remember that day so vividly!
He's now 22 and a man but I still call him, "my best boy! "
Wonderful 55, Brian.
Thank you!
Margie :)
I like this one.. I can totally relate to it. also, I noticed your play with words.. like re-morse.. ina back seat...(I think I should break up my words too).
I enjoy the critique today; very helpful and informative. See you~
You prove 'less is more'. Great job!
I'd love to see you try the six-word story challenge...because you've obviously mastered telling one in 55.
Fantastic, this.
lolss
For once I still admire the boyish charm- their being dud like quality (or is it?) included.. :) they become man and mean (often) :(
I missed out on this portion of my life terribly.. being careless and being with a careless dude!
Weekend hugs xoxox
I saw this so many times with my students. Great 55!
What was especially good, and it wasn't even over my head!
I think in today's world a great number of boys have a misconception of what it truly means to be a man. Environment and upbringing play a huge role in shaping this role. And especially at that age - when they feel they have so much to prove to their peers.
I know one day he will look back and see that you were a blessing in his life.
There are too many of these boys who believe this is the only option open to them. Gotta hurry, though, dude, cuz at 13, life's already half over.
A lack of remorse (fine play on words) doesn't bode well. It sounds like there will be many more police cars in his future. Well done.
great stuff, my thinking cap is on for the 55
Great write...if only we could slow maturity ( ? ) down for these 13-year-olds. Some of them won't be out of the slammer until their hair is gray!
yeh we have alot of men die around here at 13 due to gang related shootings
too young to be a man too young to die
Happens everywhere, boys who act tough, talking the street toughie talk. They are really scared. Excellent poem.
you well use few words!
Aloha from Waikiki;
Comfort Spiral
><}}(°>
> < } } ( ° >
< ° ) } } > <
It takes a lot to be a man. Hope this boy discovers what it takes.
Always a great write Brian.
oh that tear coursing its way through the bravado, breaks me like nothing else to see that kind of cry.
I wish the realization could come sooner. Beautifully written in 55.
Time for you to gear up and hear storeis from him. The old stories will give way to newer ones: heard before but unheard from your son.
Joy always and best wishes to your son,
Susan
Ag,shame! (SAfricanism) He's in for a rude awakening.
oh a wonderful story ... so powerfully true ... i have a 14 year old at home, I know ....
and yeah I love to pop in always :)
Sadly that's not a rare occurence. Excellent 55!
I'm up here
Ahhh discipline. Thanks Brian for sharing.
And that lone tear is the true sign of the man.
I have nothing to say....been there done that mine's 24...ahhhlife love what you wrote
I can see the clenched fist and the intense, "I am so cool" look in his eyes! I can hear that "tone" in his voice.
Well done Brian
Hugs
SueAnn
As always, grabbed me and shook me a little.
wonderfully expressed!
When The Gods Want To Punish Us They Grant Our Wishes.........
I liked it very much! Boy into a man...
Love the 55 and hate the attitude. Man-boy = body of man, brain of boy.
I have a nephew whom is thirteen. I think we had this talk yesterday...you did make me laugh at this though and somehow did not feel so helpless with the little munchkin. lol. have a great weekend.
The fascinating disconnect between who we are and who we think we are. Well done.
Probably one of the hardest times in the life of any Boy-Man: thirteen.
If only integrity came with puberty! Bravo my friend and have a "chillin" weekend!
Poor lad, little does he know the journey ahead.
Brian, seen many friends over the years with that same hand atop their head, trying so hard to hide that tear. (Not that I keep bad company!) So many learn the hard way what the definition of a man really is...it's not jailhouse tats that's for sure. So, in 55 words or less, you've inspired this wannabe to grab her pen. Maybe relive a few of those memories, and tell a story about how well those bad boys are doing today. You can't save them all, but if you can save one, you're caring more than most!
I remember being 13 and the boys at that age. so young but thinking themselves so much older. great piece.
You are amazing. I love all the created words. Well done!
Best wishes
Marinela x
Really nice capture of that age. Love the word-play, twisting of words in here, another excellent piece Brian. I've said it before and I guess I'll keep saying it, you totally make the most out of every word you put down to page
Owww...
The unfortunate story of many kids that age. Not the reality of manhood, but the perception of manhood among bad boyz. Nice tight telling of the tale.
Lee
Tossing It Out
There's not a boy in the world who is a man at 13, no matter what he's done.
Sad, the criteria that some folks use to judge 'manhood.' Or 'womanhood' either.
Well on the way to being a man.... but not really a man yet!
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Such false bravado these young men display. If only they had real men to show them how it's done properly.
Hope it scared him straight. Takes me back to my first ride home in the back of the cop car. Not fun.
:O this one is very powerful, Brian. We see this all the time!
Really NOT so great to be a man is it?
Dang, nice 55, Brian. So true, too. Took me back to my 1 ride staring at that metal divide. (Long story...I was innocent, swear!) "re-morse code" so freakin clever..love it ~
Brian...there's some good news for you over on my blog.
You've got to love teenagers (now that's a loaded statement :)
interesting story
That's awefully young to become a man. how sad.
I remembered how excited I was when I turned 13, 16 and 21. It's definitely a major life event...
he is thirteen and sweet..
Someone is Special
On the road to becoming a broken man if things don't change.
this is my first time visiting here
this is a nice blog..your content is great..i will be back soon visiting you again..see ya
Cityiklan
Iklancoffee
andaforex
iklan percuma Online Malaysia
@Jannie Funster
I think it was Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons who sang that song.
Hi Brian,
Becoming a man can take a lifetime or it can be forced upon someone before their time. I have seen stories of some young boys in African countries who have lost their parents due to the tumultuous politics in their country, who all of a sudden have the responsibility of caring for their younger siblings.
What is amazing is that they accept it as someone much older might not be able to do in another country. Their life is changed in an instant, and manhood is thrust upon them.
They need our help. Can we in the world "man-up" to protect these children. Is it our responsibility? Is it not? Sometimes things like this can make us feel so helpless. Does the help we send actually go to them or does it go to the corrupt officials? Oh how I wish there was an easy answer and that it truly helped just those who woefully need our help.
Big, big, sigh!!!!
God bless.
how often does that happen, too often, I'd say.
boys have to learn, but maybe not this way.
You obviously have a lot of first hand experience with children.
with one line - the hand landing on the top of his head - you painted and extraordinarily detailed picture!
sad, but true - i am traveling - but wanted to check in! good stuff, today as always. enjoy the weekend with your fam! :)
So sad and gripping.
Maybe thirteen is becoming a man age, but there are so many lessons still to be learned. Like a hand smacking the top of the head.
Hi! Brian...
Wow!...Very powerful and truthful words and you "paint" a scenario that is
Oh! so true and yet, :-/
Oh! so very sad too! :-(
Thanks, for sharing 55 very poignant words and I hope that you, and your readers have a nice week-end too!
deedee ;-D
And being thirteen will feed more confusion for a few more years. I think that he will get it eventually.
A sad coming of age poem.
Post a Comment