Wednesday, June 8, 2011

rings on the bottom

wrapped in bright colors she smiles splashing crystal water, sending jewels to catch the sun around her wet amber locks and he looks.

"what do you see?"

"what?" he pinks around the cheeks, caught.

"what do you see?"

sheepishly, "sugar & love, cause that is what girls are made of, right?"

"yes," i think of other things as we float, knowing he is trying hard to put something tangible to the feeling. i understand how hard that can be to describe what happens inside a man in the presence of beauty. & what of its dangers?

what do you do with this feeling? what of the word cherish? does he understand it? will he serve her? what is he willing to give up? what will he get? will he always be happy? will he understand when he is not or will he run? does he know what it means to protect? serve? honor? & not leaving his underwear laying in the middle of the floor?

"sugar & love," i whisper to myself, watching him drift away to play.

they take turns diving deep, searching for rings that sit on the bottom. one waiting and watching until the other bursts from beneath the surface, quarry raised high above their heads. they share smiles and splash, sending jewels into the air to catch the sun.

89 comments:

Titanium said...

Will he be able to see the beauty that lies far beyond what his eyes can measure? The soul, the intellect, the mind, the size of the fight in the girl... the things incalculable, immeasurable...

One can only hope.

Pat Hatt said...

What about the toilet seat
Some see that as a feat
The extra two seconds of work can make all the difference I say
And make for a much better day

Victoria said...

Brian, a charming picture you've painted here. Aside from the deeper meaning, it made me think of the wedding rings tossed into the Truckee river here in Reno back in the days when it was the divorce captial of the world. Ha! Wonder if they've all been retrieved.

farmlady said...

Love and beauty are sometimes without vision. It takes years to see within and under the surface of the waters that reflect the prettiness of life.
Some never reach for the rings.

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi! Brian...
Oh! no, it's time for me to play the words that comes to my mind game:
boy,girl,love,uncertainty,child,play,
water, sunshine sugar,spice,and most definitely,questions unanswered...Thanks, for sharing!
deedee ;-/

Daniel said...

... and what of its dangers? I could write a thing or two of many hard lessons learned, unlearned, and learned again.

deb colarossi said...

Brian... this is so absolutely perfect.
We have to fall in love again and again.
We have to dive in and hold our breath and swim to the light....

Lisa notes... said...

I'm thinking of my "baby" girl about to get married in August. What does she know of Love? How will her future husband respond in times of trouble? It's all a risk. But so worth it...

TechnoBabe said...

So many things to learn in order to coexist.

Your writing entwines romanticism with realistic nuisances when people are learning to get along.

Mona said...

That is a beautiful moment! I love the splash of jewels!

Brain, I wrote for one shot today!

Sue said...

You really captured a moment here.

(Happily for the women he will know in the future, this boy has a good man to learn from!)

;)

ladyfi said...

Ah - so very beautiful!

rosaria said...

You are wise beyond your years.

Bonnie said...

sweet musings, brian.

brokenpenwriter said...

You dropped me right into the scene with the beauty and deep questions, then threw in that line about leaving his knickers on the floor, and I caught myself laughing - what a lovely way to lift and lighten the moment. The ending scene with them diving for rings, enjoying the moment as only children and animals instinctively know how to do, was a very satisfying, feel-good ending. Loved this!

Ruthiey said...

Wow, so deep. great stuff. =)

Margie said...

Oh, this is so beautiful!
I'm in love with your writings!

Margie :)

Baino said...

Ooh and I thought it was sugar and spice and all things nice but sugar and love will do.

Eva Gallant said...

We can only hope.

Linda said...

I wonder if we're all caught between childhood and being all grown up. This was a sweet moment Brian. The truth is, he will be there before you know it. Enjoy these precious, "chasing rings" moments.

DJan said...

I hardly know how to respond to this lovely poem that has myriad layers in it. So I just will say thank you, I loved it.

hedgewitch said...

We can learn a lot when we float and listen. I love to hear the child speak and the adult listen in your poems, Brian. The ending of this with it's analogy to the search for meaning, companionship in relationship, falls perfectly in place.

David Allen Waters said...

your ability to touch our souls with your words is inspiring....beautiful write my friend

Myrna R. said...

"Sending jewels into the air to catch the sun." This is so sweet. I think of young love, unfocused on its dangers, seeing only sugar and spice.

I so much enjoy reading your poems.

Claudia said...

sugar and love and both with a heart to serve and eyes to see.. you will teach them, right? maybe one of the most important lessons we all have to learn

tinuviel said...

This is my favorite of the pieces I've read here so far. Warm and thoughtful, with just enough humor mixed in. I liked the way you brought the end back to the beginning, too. Bravo!

May the Lord guide you and your wife as you seek to equip your sons to grow into faithful men.

Nancy said...

What did I know of love twenty-seven years ago when I stood before God and a church full of people and took vows? Thanks be to God for supplying the grace to sustain two naive but crazy-in-love kids. And, I don't discount the faithful prayers of parents and grandparents as being rich veins of that grace.

Kaylen said...

That underwear on the floor bit is important, but socks left in ANY room outside of a laundry basket is a huge one!!! :)

slommler said...

I love how you captured this special moment...important questions hang in the air...suspended in time!!
Young hearts too distracted to really consider the importance of such thoughts
Love this
Hugs
SueAnn

happygirl said...

Dive deep for the love. Like the rings lying on the bottom, it's hard to get there. Hold your breath, kick hard. It's worth the effort to dive deep for the love.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Very nice imagery - as always...

Heather said...

ah so very beautiful...part of the wonder of love is learning! ( and definitely no underwear on the floor!) this is really lovely - I so love the magic in the last paragraph! have a good night -

tracy said...

Ah, to be a child again and only have to think about the diving rings!

Ramblings by Carol Nuckols said...

Beautiful imagery, brought nicely down to earth and then lifted again.

Monkey Man said...

Touching.

Heaven said...

I enjoy reading your posts as well as the comments by others.

Your writing is subtle and with meaning ~

Josh Hoyt said...

This is interesting to think about the feelings that we have what do they mean and what do they add up to. I just read about how commitment is waning and how it is dying maybe like Titanium said we don't see the inner beauty anymore we don't see the potential. Are we truly ever able to live up to the Hollywood image?

Me said...

Lovely post, Brian.

PattiKen said...

I'm guessing those are questions we all have to answer for ourselves. For some, it's a resounding yes. For others, well, not so much.

The Thirteenth Crossing said...

I'd settle for the trash bag being replaced. Heck, even the trash getting taken out. This piece does bring up the thoughts that drift through the mind when surrendering to feelings, or even contemplating it. I have to say it was interesting reading it and trying to hear the female voice when I kept expecting a male one.

Bernie said...

I visualize this small boy and girl swimming together not knowing how strong the bond of love and friendship is between them, they just know they want to be together.
......:-)Hugs

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, yes, the sweetsadness of it all. Beautiful!

Cheers,

Casey

Rachel said...

Life lessons to learn, things taught from father to son, written in wonderful language.

Katherine said...

Love is as unsure as it is sure & for me it is ever changing.
I've been with my husband now for 25 years and we are still learning things about eachother .. and even though I know of his imperfections & he knows of mine ... we still keep falling in love time after time!!! I absolutley adored this piece Brian .. you've such a beautiful mind!

Betsy said...

Ah...love that age...innocent and fun. And you know, if all the other things happen, we can live with the underwear on the floor. :)

Barbara Shallue said...

'sugar and love'. So sweet!

Tara Miller said...

I love the innocence you've captured and young boys trying to put words to the feelings they begin to have towards girls. A risk they will learn in time is well worth it...for the love of your life. It also helps if they learn to lift the lid!!!

lori said...

Oh, I know these feelings, of wonder for your children's future, of want for them to be adults who cherish others.

Loved the way you captured his blushing face. I could see the cuteness oozing in my mind. And, kids are awesome like that ('sugar & love', so sweet).

:)

Laura said...

Oh, how they grow...and you? What big eyes you have to see it all.

Hilary said...

There's so much beauty in your words. Everyone should experience a splash of jewels.

Unknown Mami said...

That underwear must go in the hamper.

lucychili said...

it is strange the tension
between the magic of possibility
and the homely scuff of
a lived in reality

KB said...

Beautiful.

Nancy said...

Love it.

Valerie said...

Brilliant... as ever!

tony said...

The Finest Type Of Mining.

masterymistery said...

Innocence? There always is or at least will be a worm in the heart of the rose (as William Blake tells us).

Excellent post.

masterymistery at cosmic rapture

HopeUnbroken said...

simply sweet. teach them well.

Lorraine said...

I i don't what to say...except I remembered my pure little girl happiness

JStar said...

Yes, words of true love an admiration sometimes are indescribable...Even to a poet :)

Dave King said...

A lovely post. Thank you.

Cindy said...

This is powerful...the ways of a father's heart is mystery in many ways to me, men/fathers thinking about what is before them in masculine ways...I am saving this, sending it to my husband...letting the words beckon him to the soon time when our daughter will have a similar effect on him as well as some young man!

David Nilsen said...

"i understand how hard that can be to describe what happens inside a man in the presence of beauty"

Amen to that. One of my favorites of yours yet.

Emmy said...

Wow I am amazed at your writing. This is so beautiful....

TALON said...

The underwear thing is important ;)

This was lovely, Brian. We have to hope that all they learn and observe is tucked inside and used wisely...

Anna said...

Moments well-captured, I really like this one, a warm piece! Love the blush, and the jewels catching the sun, like the hopeful futures of children.

Luke Prater said...

engrossing write, but I'd expect nothing less from you, Sir

Pheromone Girl said...

It took me back to watching my two kids, very small, dive to the bottom of the pool for jewels. Neither of them liked that activity very much, maybe because I shared, somehow - inadvertently - my fear of the deep...

Magpie said...

Ditto to Titanium and Betsy...both made great points.
I've missed reading your words.

Belinda said...

What an interesting perspective. My boy is too young to describe a girl's beauty but I have certainly seen his heard turn at the sight of a pretty girl or woman. Love all the questions you ask.

adeeyoyo said...

Surface attraction may get his attention, but it's not enough to last. Love at first sight is mostly a myth. The jewels are hidden inside. Ugh, I can't put into words what I want to say! Sorry Brian.

secret agent woman said...

Very sweet. (But I grew up hearing "sugar and spice")

Kati patrianoceu said...

this sure digs deep into the heart. are there really answers, though?

sheila said...

ooooooooooooooooH!
This was awesome! and lol on Pat Hatt's comment!!!!!

Beth said...

Your descriptives are so powerful! "Jewels into the air to catch the sun..." Perfect!

Natasha said...

This one kept me reading! The imagery you've painted is stunning. You put us right on the banks, hearing the conversation, feeling the glow of embarassment on his cheeks. I've yet to win any of these battles. The drawers stay on the floors until I decide its pick~up time...but, tis I who rule the throne...the seat stays down in my house! lol (hmmm,Pat!)

life or something like it said...

simply lovely :)

kkrige said...

You have a wonderful knack of seeing and capturing such poignant moments my friend.

Soft smiles

emily wierenga said...

i understand how hard that can be to describe what happens inside a man in the presence of beauty.

i love this story. and the way you tell it, friend. thank you for breathing insight into us...

Pastor Sharon said...

sugar and love. . . I love this!

I am reminded of playing "rings on the bottom" at the pool when my love and I were barely old enough to vote.

It reminded me of the thoughts we would express out loud: Where will we be in five years? Will you be there? Will I know how to be a good wife? etc. . .. and 20 years down the road, here we are. Guess it was good to play rings on the bottom.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You captured that sweet moment beautifully :-)
jj

thoughtsofapatcheduptraveler said...

"sugar and love" Something about this line made me smile, perhaps the simplicity or the meaning within or both. I truly enjoyed every word.

Beth

april said...

you never cease to amaze me with your thoughts and words...thank you.

Ed Pilolla said...

this is utterly amazing, how you skip between jeweled images and deep flowing issues. the last image jumped out at me. i felt it and saw the sunshine.

Shell said...

A sparkling gem of a moment...innocent and pure...joy. How beautiful, Brian....

Marinela said...

Really really beautiful write!

Mother Poems

Syd said...

I hope that he sees beneath the surface too. Beauty can be vacuous. It is the long term that matters.

patty said...

i like to read your readers comments here before i comment, because sometimes they catch something i missed. but today, i love the innocence that my mind conjures and i want to keep that. love the picture you've created in my mind and i hope he gets all that some day, too, but now, and even then, i hope he knows it's okay to just love being and playing with her.
we sometimes loose that when we get older and think only of the underwear on the floor.

Unknown Mami said...

It is so important not to leave the underwear laying on the floor. Your words are wonderful.