a flower sits,
soiled & potted,
on the wood sil
of the deck rail,
its head raised
to the golden sun
i can nearly
hear it sigh
amid the adoration,'
its
spread petal scent
heady & thick
nearby
a plastic army
man turns on itself,
in wet runnels, arms
melting, surrendering
one breath,
then two
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see G-man.
Today over at Friday Poetically, we are writing poems about the sun or heat or maybe a way I can keep cool in this heat wave. It has been nearly 100 for four straight days. Ack!
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110 comments:
The same sun that melts wax will harden clay...
Profound juxtaposition of the force of nature and the response of these two things: one man-made, the other Mother-Nature-made.
I love how it turns from the proverbial nature poem to a plastic army man melting away. A sweet deviation from the anticipated, Brian.
I love this one, the way you bring the flower alive with your words, and death to the army man...it could go many ways, summer, life,death...a brilliant piece
The flower..the sun..the plastic solider...very cool!
You have sunshine? Lively images my friend.
O.K., this was kinda cool. Love the comparison.
I still have my plastic army men!
Although I have been known to blow up a few!
They've lasted longer than some of my flowers.
Loved your 55 Son.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
The vitality & destruction of the most powerful star at the centre of our solar system... very artfully described in this Friday 55 Brian .. loved it as usual!! The sun is most certainly the King!
a plastic army
man turns on itself,
in wet runnels, arms
melting, surrendering
one breath,
then two
stunning closure. Almost two poems you have; but I see the juxtaposition of the flower section then this makes the latter pack more of a punch. k-pow
I'm melting.....melting! Maybe the flying monkeys will grab the melting soldier and bring him to Oz!
I'm sorry I'm not looking at the symbolism but the reality of having kids and watching their toys that you asked them 100 times to bring in melt in the 90 degree heat...
Been there ...
And that's the difference between plastic and real!
Simple, yet poignant. I like it.
Plants take the sun better than plastic, it's true...but I'd rather have the kids play with the army man somehow. ;) nice, brian, with its comparison to nature versus the artificial, life versus unlife.
Some sun you have there! Here, we are still waiting our turn for some vitamin d, or any sight of the orb.
The gaze of the sun, how true! It does good and it can well be disastrous at other times. That's the order of nature captured so well.
Showing two seperate things
And what one thing brings
As the sun is always there
The wax will melt into thin air
The flower will grow and spread
But just like the army man it will one day be dead
As the sun shines on
Unless of course it burns out giving no more dawn
This reminds me to go out and water my flowers so they don't droop. It's been bloody hot here. Love the contrast. clever
Oh yes...today was a definitely melting day in the Carolinas. Nice.
What one sees as a blessing, another feels is a curse. Great illustration!
I like the specificity of this one (I think I spelled that wrong). It's very small and yet large...
Poor plastic army man. I feel sorry for his plastic family.
Poor army guy!
ah the good and the bad of a hot sun.....:-)Hugs
Nice. I really liked this, especially the last lines...
Oh, how the plastic pulls us back to reality. As the petals spread, so the soldier melts.
The contrasting stanzas make more impact. Kind of hit hard.
vitally bereft
This is great. From flowers to a plastic army--quite the poetic journey in 55 words.
Flowers really do know how to utilize that sun, don't they? Man-made things don't seem to thrive quite the same way :)
loved this Brian, I was thinking today of how my flowers seem to be enjoying the sun. In the heat I am like the plastic army men, melting. lol. have a great day.
You've packed a lot into this 55, love! The power of the sun: life for one thing; death and a melted puddle of plastic for another. Correlates very well with the Son and where our foundations are built: in Him (strong and bearing fruit)or in ourselves (which will eventually crumble away). Don't know if that's what you were getting at but this is one of the things I saw in your writing. Great write! :)
What memories that one brings - two brothers and I, blowing up all of our GI Joes, army men and my barbies. Wait - their stuff always came through unscathed, while barbie's hair was worse with every bottle rocket....
Hi!Brian...
[I'm so sorry, for always starting off with these same two words, but]...
...Once again, your words are very beautiful, and your description Of your surroundings are always very vivid.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
maybe it's going to sound weird, but this poem made me happy {smile} especially ~
"one breath,
then two"
fabulous fifty-five!
I find this rather serene...I visualize you writing on a deck, after you've done some planting and a stray toy catches your eye...maybe not, but a fabulous 55 no matter ~
would this little plastic amy man happen to be you, Brian?
superb write!
You can hear plants sigh when they're happy?! Me too! Glad I'm not the only wierdo around here. The final "One breath / then two" is hot stuff.
Great stuff!
Great metaphor in this.
Love the way you play with words!
Bullying Poems
So you have to ask yourself, are you more of a flower or an army man. I think I'm the little man.
the plastic army man makes the poem for me..though i can hear the flower sigh..smiles
It's hot over here at the moment - but not THAT bad!
My 55 are here
Wonderful comparison. I prefer nature-made over human-made but plastic has so many practical uses.
If only our planet could make all that plastic garbage surrender like your army man...
A sweet 55
Here in NM we battle the effects of the sun all the time! It is intense! Plastic melts; sometimes gets fuzzy and shreds. Have to be careful yourself when you are out in it. And have to take special care of all flowering plants...for they would wilt and die without good care being given.
See where you took me...to the practical! Ha!!
Hugs
SueAnn
The plastic army man is the master stroke. Excellent.
The sun: a beautiful, dangerous orb. You wrote a brilliant piece, Brian.
the imagery is superb!
and wow I love the contradiction, the essence of flowers , against plastic war,you're a genius
we had quite a heat wave for most of the week too. this really is a vivid image you paint of the withering heat.
You gave feelings to this flower...amazingly
We don't get heat for long, but oh boy - when we do...
100? WHEW! We have had a week free of rain and I am SOOOOOO grateful!! It seems we went straight from Winter to Summer...where were the Spring temps??
No complaints here...I SO love the sun!
The poor little plastic soldier. Someone should put the soldier in the damp soil with the flower.
I can visualize this all too clearly - the wide golden face of a sunflower, perhaps, and the sun baking down, while the toy soldier melts... Send just half of your heat my way.
that was too beautiful and quirky. poor army man, stuck in a heat wave.
Beautiful, flowing visualization!
gorgeous. i can hear it sighing from canada... so beautiful, brian. you have such gift. and i want to thank you for always commenting, for all of your encouragement, for your ministering soul: you breathe life to so many, brother.
Beginnings, endings, birth, death, flesh in the heat, plastic in the heat. Real, imagined. All this in 55 words or less? I think your mind has stayed pretty intact in spite of the temps...keep it on ice my friend! And thanks for the prompt...needed something to give me a swift kick in the butt! Thank you! :)
Brian, you can make the most mundane things so interesting!
I like the vividness of your images, Brian. I can imagine the flower in my mind! :)
you made me want to be the flower ...not sure about plastic army tho ...thank you
100 degrees? "Ack" is right! Love the imagery of the flower and remember well the melting army men having raised 3 boys. The sun as life and "death"...quite poetic.
Here's mine today: Flash 55 ~ You Brighten My Day.
Okay, nature can nurture or destroy. Love how you capture this.
You watched him die! You could have saved him! lol
Great 55...great imagery!
Another great read!
Thank you!
Margie :)
Love the plastic army turning on itself....wonderful image...bkm
I remember melting my army guys with a magnifying glass on sunny days when I was a kid, but even better was lighting them on fire - it made the coolest sound when the flaming plastic dripped down.
(You can hear that sound in the movie "Back To The Future" after Doc sends Marty back to 1985 via the lightning striking the clock tower. The overhead wire that's left burning drips with the very same noise.)
Awww, see the garden activity!
It is so in perfect synchronization !
This is my fave to date:) Beautful!
What is given will please and fear, build and destroy ...
And so it goes...
=)
Your focus on detail is what makes your poetry just jump off the page.
It has been nearly 70 here! We're getting there.
Good, solid, poem.
Love how one thing needs the sun to thrive and the other melts in it. Thats some hot weather you have there! We've just cooled down the past couple of days. YAY!
Brian,
Still waiting for sun and heat where i hang out ... how you managed this 'huge' piece in 55 words is astounding.
Brian, Excellent 55. You convey the heat of the day very well... Well done
you're awesome. period.
Soldiering in any form just plain sucks for the soldier.
And I picture it as a lovely rose!
xo
You paint melting in such brilliant colors! :)
Oh yuck...that is WAY too hot. I'm sending cool air your way. It's in the 70's today but 86 tomorrow...which would feel cold to you. :)
Hi Brian,
Wow! That must be some really hot sun! There are days living up here in Alaska when I wished the sun would melt me.
Cheers,
Shanae
My Blog
Excellent. Today's sun is not the same. It grows old too. Loved it.
I didn't expect that ending, Brian....was dreamily thinking about watering your plant and then along came the army.
I really dig how well your bring objects of life into words Brian. Loved seeing "runnels"...such a great word ;) ~ Rose
The army man dies... and flowers bloom upon his grave. Your poem had a nice double meaning, whether you were aware of it or not upon writing it! :)
It is hot here as well. And no rain. We are struggling to keep the flower beds watered.
nice read, whated to stop by and say hello also
These days I feel like that melting plastic soldier...
well captured moments!
Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
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It's hard for me to not make a spiritual interpretation here, since I'm seeing a graceful, pacifistic entity gather strength from a higher power, while a warlike being is annihilated under the same gaze. Don't know if that's intentional, but regardless: such depth for so few words. :D
nice comparative notion of yours, it does contrast our humanity with natural calmness.
Brian, I love how you turn a phrase...
"a flower sits,
SOILED & potted,"
I love it!
Not only enjoyed this, but love some of the comments from others. Blessings to you Brian.
Loved this one...:))
Take care
Loved it Brian! Its a beauty! :)
i will be back later tonight. have a great saturday everyone!
We've had that kind of heat lately. Eventually that same plant will bow its head from the sun.
Congrats again...looks like I might be number 100!!
We've had sun today and so I have spent most of the day in the garden with my head raised towards it !
Dear Brian: "One breath than two" very meditative as one observes so intensely the minutae around them. The common becomes quite uncommon then! Great 55! Thinks I'll try a 55!
Make love, not war, man.
Hot here too.
This was a lovely and languid poem.
ooooh!
One's life is another's killer..
May sun keeps shining on you with gusts of enough breeze.. hugs xx
A very detailed observation perfectly expressed in 55 words.
i like the way you compared the two - it's been way too hot, here, but we've had fab weather the last few days....
awww, whose little angel left that plastic army man?
Love the image of the army man. There are all sorts of metaphorical messages there, but you know that.
I really love the imagery and metaphor laced into this. Thank you.
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