Thursday, June 2, 2011

55 - under the gaze of the sun

a flower sits,
soiled & potted,
on the wood sil
of the deck rail,
its head raised
to the golden sun

i can nearly
hear it sigh
amid the adoration,'
its
spread petal scent
heady & thick

nearby
a plastic army
man turns on itself,
in wet runnels, arms
melting, surrendering

one breath,
then two

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see G-man.

Today over at Friday Poetically, we are writing poems about the sun or heat or maybe a way I can keep cool in this heat wave. It has been nearly 100 for four straight days. Ack!

110 comments:

Titanium said...

The same sun that melts wax will harden clay...

Profound juxtaposition of the force of nature and the response of these two things: one man-made, the other Mother-Nature-made.

emmettwheatfall.com said...

I love how it turns from the proverbial nature poem to a plastic army man melting away. A sweet deviation from the anticipated, Brian.

David Allen Waters said...

I love this one, the way you bring the flower alive with your words, and death to the army man...it could go many ways, summer, life,death...a brilliant piece

ayala said...

The flower..the sun..the plastic solider...very cool!

Monkey Man said...

You have sunshine? Lively images my friend.

Daniel said...

O.K., this was kinda cool. Love the comparison.

G-Man said...

I still have my plastic army men!
Although I have been known to blow up a few!
They've lasted longer than some of my flowers.
Loved your 55 Son.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Katherine said...

The vitality & destruction of the most powerful star at the centre of our solar system... very artfully described in this Friday 55 Brian .. loved it as usual!! The sun is most certainly the King!

Luke Prater said...

a plastic army
man turns on itself,
in wet runnels, arms
melting, surrendering

one breath,
then two

stunning closure. Almost two poems you have; but I see the juxtaposition of the flower section then this makes the latter pack more of a punch. k-pow

Pat said...

I'm melting.....melting! Maybe the flying monkeys will grab the melting soldier and bring him to Oz!

moondustwriter said...

I'm sorry I'm not looking at the symbolism but the reality of having kids and watching their toys that you asked them 100 times to bring in melt in the 90 degree heat...

Been there ...

Pastor Sharon said...

And that's the difference between plastic and real!

Alice Audrey said...

Simple, yet poignant. I like it.

hedgewitch said...

Plants take the sun better than plastic, it's true...but I'd rather have the kids play with the army man somehow. ;) nice, brian, with its comparison to nature versus the artificial, life versus unlife.

rosaria said...

Some sun you have there! Here, we are still waiting our turn for some vitamin d, or any sight of the orb.

kaykuala said...

The gaze of the sun, how true! It does good and it can well be disastrous at other times. That's the order of nature captured so well.

Pat Hatt said...

Showing two seperate things
And what one thing brings
As the sun is always there
The wax will melt into thin air
The flower will grow and spread
But just like the army man it will one day be dead
As the sun shines on
Unless of course it burns out giving no more dawn

happygirl said...

This reminds me to go out and water my flowers so they don't droop. It's been bloody hot here. Love the contrast. clever

5thsister said...

Oh yes...today was a definitely melting day in the Carolinas. Nice.

Barbara Shallue said...

What one sees as a blessing, another feels is a curse. Great illustration!

Kate Hanley said...

I like the specificity of this one (I think I spelled that wrong). It's very small and yet large...

Unknown Mami said...

Poor plastic army man. I feel sorry for his plastic family.

Mama Zen said...

Poor army guy!

Bernie said...

ah the good and the bad of a hot sun.....:-)Hugs

Me said...

Nice. I really liked this, especially the last lines...

lori said...

Oh, how the plastic pulls us back to reality. As the petals spread, so the soldier melts.

gautami tripathy said...

The contrasting stanzas make more impact. Kind of hit hard.

vitally bereft

Teresa said...

This is great. From flowers to a plastic army--quite the poetic journey in 55 words.

TALON said...

Flowers really do know how to utilize that sun, don't they? Man-made things don't seem to thrive quite the same way :)

Cinner said...

loved this Brian, I was thinking today of how my flowers seem to be enjoying the sun. In the heat I am like the plastic army men, melting. lol. have a great day.

Tara Miller said...

You've packed a lot into this 55, love! The power of the sun: life for one thing; death and a melted puddle of plastic for another. Correlates very well with the Son and where our foundations are built: in Him (strong and bearing fruit)or in ourselves (which will eventually crumble away). Don't know if that's what you were getting at but this is one of the things I saw in your writing. Great write! :)

Pheromone Girl said...

What memories that one brings - two brothers and I, blowing up all of our GI Joes, army men and my barbies. Wait - their stuff always came through unscathed, while barbie's hair was worse with every bottle rocket....

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

Hi!Brian...
[I'm so sorry, for always starting off with these same two words, but]...
...Once again, your words are very beautiful, and your description Of your surroundings are always very vivid.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D

haikulovesongs said...

maybe it's going to sound weird, but this poem made me happy {smile} especially ~

"one breath,
then two"

fabulous fifty-five!

yellowhousecafe said...

I find this rather serene...I visualize you writing on a deck, after you've done some planting and a stray toy catches your eye...maybe not, but a fabulous 55 no matter ~

Hope said...

would this little plastic amy man happen to be you, Brian?
superb write!

Enchanted Oak said...

You can hear plants sigh when they're happy?! Me too! Glad I'm not the only wierdo around here. The final "One breath / then two" is hot stuff.

KB said...

Great stuff!

anthonynorth said...

Great metaphor in this.

Marinela said...

Love the way you play with words!

Bullying Poems

Randy Behavior said...

So you have to ask yourself, are you more of a flower or an army man. I think I'm the little man.

Claudia said...

the plastic army man makes the poem for me..though i can hear the flower sigh..smiles

MorningAJ said...

It's hot over here at the moment - but not THAT bad!

My 55 are here

Belinda said...

Wonderful comparison. I prefer nature-made over human-made but plastic has so many practical uses.

If only our planet could make all that plastic garbage surrender like your army man...

A Daft Scots Lass said...

A sweet 55

slommler said...

Here in NM we battle the effects of the sun all the time! It is intense! Plastic melts; sometimes gets fuzzy and shreds. Have to be careful yourself when you are out in it. And have to take special care of all flowering plants...for they would wilt and die without good care being given.
See where you took me...to the practical! Ha!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Dave King said...

The plastic army man is the master stroke. Excellent.

Valerie said...

The sun: a beautiful, dangerous orb. You wrote a brilliant piece, Brian.

magiceye said...

the imagery is superb!

Lorraine said...

and wow I love the contradiction, the essence of flowers , against plastic war,you're a genius

lime said...

we had quite a heat wave for most of the week too. this really is a vivid image you paint of the withering heat.

JStar said...

You gave feelings to this flower...amazingly

Old Ollie said...

We don't get heat for long, but oh boy - when we do...

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

100? WHEW! We have had a week free of rain and I am SOOOOOO grateful!! It seems we went straight from Winter to Summer...where were the Spring temps??

No complaints here...I SO love the sun!

TechnoBabe said...

The poor little plastic soldier. Someone should put the soldier in the damp soil with the flower.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I can visualize this all too clearly - the wide golden face of a sunflower, perhaps, and the sun baking down, while the toy soldier melts... Send just half of your heat my way.

Corinna said...

that was too beautiful and quirky. poor army man, stuck in a heat wave.

Laurie Kolp said...

Beautiful, flowing visualization!

emily wierenga said...

gorgeous. i can hear it sighing from canada... so beautiful, brian. you have such gift. and i want to thank you for always commenting, for all of your encouragement, for your ministering soul: you breathe life to so many, brother.

Natasha said...

Beginnings, endings, birth, death, flesh in the heat, plastic in the heat. Real, imagined. All this in 55 words or less? I think your mind has stayed pretty intact in spite of the temps...keep it on ice my friend! And thanks for the prompt...needed something to give me a swift kick in the butt! Thank you! :)

tracy said...

Brian, you can make the most mundane things so interesting!

Leo said...

I like the vividness of your images, Brian. I can imagine the flower in my mind! :)

kez said...

you made me want to be the flower ...not sure about plastic army tho ...thank you

Chef Kar said...

100 degrees? "Ack" is right! Love the imagery of the flower and remember well the melting army men having raised 3 boys. The sun as life and "death"...quite poetic.

Here's mine today: Flash 55 ~ You Brighten My Day.

Myrna R. said...

Okay, nature can nurture or destroy. Love how you capture this.

blueviolet said...

You watched him die! You could have saved him! lol

Margie said...

Great 55...great imagery!
Another great read!
Thank you!

Margie :)

signed...bkm said...

Love the plastic army turning on itself....wonderful image...bkm

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

I remember melting my army guys with a magnifying glass on sunny days when I was a kid, but even better was lighting them on fire - it made the coolest sound when the flaming plastic dripped down.

(You can hear that sound in the movie "Back To The Future" after Doc sends Marty back to 1985 via the lightning striking the clock tower. The overhead wire that's left burning drips with the very same noise.)

Mona said...

Awww, see the garden activity!

It is so in perfect synchronization !

ModernMom said...

This is my fave to date:) Beautful!

John (@bookdreamer) said...

What is given will please and fear, build and destroy ...

Sue said...

And so it goes...

=)

Victoria said...

Your focus on detail is what makes your poetry just jump off the page.

Rebecca S. said...

It has been nearly 70 here! We're getting there.
Good, solid, poem.

AmyLK said...

Love how one thing needs the sun to thrive and the other melts in it. Thats some hot weather you have there! We've just cooled down the past couple of days. YAY!

Helen said...

Brian,
Still waiting for sun and heat where i hang out ... how you managed this 'huge' piece in 55 words is astounding.

Sean Vessey said...

Brian, Excellent 55. You convey the heat of the day very well... Well done

Bristol said...

you're awesome. period.

Jannie Funster said...

Soldiering in any form just plain sucks for the soldier.

And I picture it as a lovely rose!

xo

Tracie Skarbo said...

You paint melting in such brilliant colors! :)

Betsy said...

Oh yuck...that is WAY too hot. I'm sending cool air your way. It's in the 70's today but 86 tomorrow...which would feel cold to you. :)

Shanae Branham said...

Hi Brian,
Wow! That must be some really hot sun! There are days living up here in Alaska when I wished the sun would melt me.
Cheers,
Shanae

My Blog

Henry Clemmons said...

Excellent. Today's sun is not the same. It grows old too. Loved it.

Barbara said...

I didn't expect that ending, Brian....was dreamily thinking about watering your plant and then along came the army.

C Rose said...

I really dig how well your bring objects of life into words Brian. Loved seeing "runnels"...such a great word ;) ~ Rose

Margaret said...

The army man dies... and flowers bloom upon his grave. Your poem had a nice double meaning, whether you were aware of it or not upon writing it! :)

Syd said...

It is hot here as well. And no rain. We are struggling to keep the flower beds watered.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

nice read, whated to stop by and say hello also

Vicki Lane said...

These days I feel like that melting plastic soldier...

Cloudia said...

well captured moments!




Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

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Matt Coughlan said...

It's hard for me to not make a spiritual interpretation here, since I'm seeing a graceful, pacifistic entity gather strength from a higher power, while a warlike being is annihilated under the same gaze. Don't know if that's intentional, but regardless: such depth for so few words. :D

alivealways said...

nice comparative notion of yours, it does contrast our humanity with natural calmness.

Magpie said...

Brian, I love how you turn a phrase...
"a flower sits,
SOILED & potted,"
I love it!

Just Be Real said...

Not only enjoyed this, but love some of the comments from others. Blessings to you Brian.

Sam!! said...

Loved this one...:))

Take care

Tulika Verma said...

Loved it Brian! Its a beauty! :)

Brian Miller said...

i will be back later tonight. have a great saturday everyone!

Linda said...

We've had that kind of heat lately. Eventually that same plant will bow its head from the sun.

Tabor said...

Congrats again...looks like I might be number 100!!

Selina Kingston said...

We've had sun today and so I have spent most of the day in the garden with my head raised towards it !

chiccoreal said...

Dear Brian: "One breath than two" very meditative as one observes so intensely the minutae around them. The common becomes quite uncommon then! Great 55! Thinks I'll try a 55!

Lolamouse said...

Make love, not war, man.

ladyfi said...

Hot here too.

This was a lovely and languid poem.

Olivia said...

ooooh!
One's life is another's killer..
May sun keeps shining on you with gusts of enough breeze.. hugs xx

Friko said...

A very detailed observation perfectly expressed in 55 words.

Heather said...

i like the way you compared the two - it's been way too hot, here, but we've had fab weather the last few days....

California Girl said...

awww, whose little angel left that plastic army man?

PattiKen said...

Love the image of the army man. There are all sorts of metaphorical messages there, but you know that.

autumnraven said...

I really love the imagery and metaphor laced into this. Thank you.