at eight,
she already measures
the distance,
life & death,
the board where she stands, to
splash when she lands
all knees &
elbows, waving hands
at pressures in line
behind
& those that coax
below, she
steps out, off
feet first & flies
eyes wide
& when re-surfaces,
smiles, sun
warm
on our faces.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see G-man.
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88 comments:
At first I read this with a more literal eye based on the title and was looking for a melancholy tone. But I read it again and I think your intention of something light and beautiful and in the moment spoke to me instead.
smiles...very nice :)
splash!
Very nostalgic. I think I WAS this girl, once.
=)
Hi! Brian...
Well, this poem is very well-written, very descriptive, and for some unknown reason...While reading your poem I was thinking Of the word (s)..."Olympic(s)" or diver?!?
Nice use Of 55 words and Thanks,for sharing too!
deedee ;-D
Cute!
That first step is sooo hard, but the flight is exhilarating.
I still am this girl! So hard to go off the diving board but I do love to watch the other kids do it.
I still am this girl! So hard to go off the diving board but I do love to watch the other kids do it.
Some nice subtle rhyme in this, aas well as a nicely laid out look at the tentative but confident beginning and the smile in the sun of childhood.
What a challenge.... you are so versatile as a writer.
I hope to improve myself in the coming days and weeks. Thanks for sharing and spreading your kindness around the blogs, including mine.
...she already measures the distance ..
Loved that. I saw this two years ago when we moved to a neighborhood with a pool. Confident swimmers and jumpers now. No diving allowed, though...
the short life of young girls...
Aloha from Waikiki :)
Comfort Spiral
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Excellent, intimate, perfect.
Very nice. So wonderful to see a young one spread their wings and fly!
This totally makes me think of some waterpark slide, things which scare me the first time down, but I get back on 'em for at least a few more rides. :)
xo
Playing off the ugly duckling and swan
Although forgetting the first sacrificing the pawn
Very delicate way with your words today
As this day in age youth find less and less time to play
Taking the dive
Most do in the moment feeling alive
Courage.
ahhh that wonderful feeling of sweet success after pushing through fears and pressure! SPLASH!
Oh, sweet! Bet she was fun to watch.
It may be a short life, but it's graceful and lovely! Myself, bellyflops.
I need to take a leap of faith myself sometimes, great write!
Nice, I remember coaching my daughter into jumping off the diving board (she still won't dive).
The high dive always frightened me but I sure could "fly" off those low ones! I loved this piece of summer, especially the sun warm faces full of smiles!
Aw! Geronimo!
Swan Lake. Like a ballet. Beautiful expression here. Love this 55.
Oh, beautiful -- such a wonderful unselfconscious age.
Of course, this immediately made me think of my little girl. Can you believe she turns eight tomorrow?
Beautiful piece, Brian.
Refreshing on a hot day. I'd have to stay in the shallow.
A sweet story tonight. Nothing wrong with that. I pictured my daughter, already feeling pressures, but we're keeping them at bay together. And, her smiles are like the sun :)
I bet she's a sweetie!
This takes me back to memories when my son about that age.
He was so afraid to go off the diving board.
But he managed to do okay in the end.
And what a smile he had to share.
Love this poem!
Margie :)
I loved this one. I could see the little mermaid!
A fearful jump but so joy filled.
Bravo ..swan song, naw, never over, it just get's more sophisticated... be warned.
I'm not fond of taking that leap - seems very brave to me.
CANNON BALL!!!!!!
Great 55 Son.
I had a little girl once...
Thanks for playing, and have aq Kick Ass Week-End
This brought back a vivid memory of my first jump off the "big board" and my older brothers cheering and jeering me to jump, my little sister full of worry. Pure fun, Brian. And, yeah, I jumped and I felt soooo brave :)
That sweet innocence and view of life, jumping into the unknown with absolute curiosity. When did that all change?
love those warm summer days & splashin in the pool. See and none of your other characters at all! Yippee, pool time. :)
splash....delightful :)
Aah yes, lovely. Such a challenge to step out into space, but such a high having done it and re-surfaced! Beautifully written, Brian.
More poetry born from an afternoon at the pool with your boys, I'm guessing. Nice interpretation, I can practically see this little girl trying to get the courage to jump!
I wish my first time was as fun. My dad grabbed me kicking and screaming and threw me in, and said "now swim". LOL True story.
Perfect poem for a warm June day. Reminds me of my sister who was afraid to swim until she was seven and then still too timid to dive - but once she jumped, that look on her face was priceless.
This also reminds me of the transitions in life that we have to just jump into.
Great poem, great 55.
Beautiful piece about overcoming ones fear. About facing an abyss and daring and pushing the line between life and death a bit further.;)
Have a great Friday and weekend dear Brian, I am heading up north again for three days.;)
xoxo
childhood memories, how nice!
Awwww. Seriously cute.
I, literally, never took the plunge but I often wish I had.
Brian
This poem reminds me of the amazing possibility of each moment.
joanny
Marvellous sense of jumping into the water!
there seem to be much more in this like just a jump into the water or is it just me? reminded me of my son when he was about this age and he was climbing up the ladder, jumping down, up and down and up and...after like watching him doing this for the 30th time i stopped him cause i thought he would drown...he was totally exhausted but thrilled beyond measure...the magic of flying...and you captured it well
Sweet! Love the fearlessness at that age. By pure coincidence, I also wrote about a girl who's almost 8.
"feet first and flies...eyes wide open..." Boy do I remember this moment. I have seen it six times at least. My one son and my five grandkids! All special moments for sure!
Hugs
SueAnn
Very Nice...!
this is lovely
this is lovely
Never saw that hesitation in my kids. That probably accounts for the fins they have instead of feet.
Having been a swan diver myself and then reliving it through my son, I throughly enjoyed you bringing back the memories. "life & death"......in the beginning, it felt like that!
Thanks for visiting my little place too :-)
Daytime Mask
I'm up at my folks' place in the mountains, in the rain rain rain. I remember hot summer days when my daughter was young....diving in(there's miracle on their faces when they rise). Oh it's cold today...thanks for the taste of summer.
they are so beautiful, their lives surely must be magical
So sweet.
Ah. A swan dive. Beautiful--you captured the grace of the moment & I can feel the sun on my face, too.
Love swans--was completely taken in by your title. Which fits in so many ways. Thank you.
nice, man... much is contained in this little darlin' piece
"at eight,
she already measures
the distance,
life & death,"
Brian, you are so blessed with insight and empathy.
I love this - we start summer swimming lessons next week and I can totally see Hannah doing this. :) Happy Friday!
You caught a beautiful moment there...familiar to all of us. Even though there were so few words I could see it all, the sun on the water, the girl hesitating and measuring, her smiles at her accomplishment, which is huge to her. Nicely done, Brian. It made me smile.
Its so wonderful to free fall into the water. But that first step can be scary!
I Am jealous! I have no head-for-heights at all!
Taking the plunge it's always a relief when one resurfaces. ;)
I just came from Nancy's where I found some of your words.
Love this one.
Beautiful, Brian brings back memories.
Oh, I totally remember that moment, from both perspectives. Terrifying and thrilling from both sides.
amazing story in 55 words. :)
Graceful, beautiful creatures.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Most pools don't have boards anymore. This is lovely and nostalgic. thanks
Flap flap flap...splash!
Flap..
Very beautifully captured.. :)
serene..
weekend hugs xx
This was so beautiful, Brian. I never was one to leap into the water, garnering loud yells and boos from those behind me on the low diving board and, of course, all I ever did was jump. I was so envious of those graceful beauties who came down into the blue in the most perfect dives.
Great images in here through out... I love the comparison of the swans to the leaping nature of life and its many directions. :)
Aw wish there was some sun on my face, won't be any diving swan-like into the pool for quite some time but the ducks seem to like it.
love this one Brian!
tender and sweet... really lovely, Brian.
I like that moment of anticipation of before a leap.
I wish I'd had such confidence at eight. Or at thirty-eight. Lovely.
aw, sweet! yes, sweet smiles, sun! i like that!
Beautiful ... you write brilliantly!
Breathtaking to be sure, but not something I would ever do, even when I was young and relatively unafraid.
Fabulous. Just fabulous.
Swans are beautiful. They mate for life, I believe.
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