Tuesday, May 10, 2011

One Shot: Coming to an Understanding

when was the last time you had sex
no i don't mean that
placating poke you give monthly
just to keep the coals warm
and check the vital signs
of the body laying next to you

i could get more life
from a blow up doll

this guy, sitting across the table,
butt numbing as he settles in the booth,
causing him to fidget something fierce
or maybe its my question

you don't understand, my wife she just
doesn't, she hasn't, i tried, it's
just that, he keeps adding layers
to his story as he explains his woes,
like someone let the air out of his
manhood and he's miles from
a gas station with one of those
quarter inflation machines
without change

really? he nods, it just doesn't seem fair
now does it? he nods more vigorous,
considering all that you do to
make her feel special, and a queer
look starts around the tick of his eye,
when was the last time you did the dishes?

gave her a back rub without intention, much
less her feet, brought her flowers
at work, not on a holiday or special occasion
but because it was raining, kissed her
like you were dying, sang her favorite song
off key, left a love note laying, not lying
or chased her around the house just to embrace
or whisper

dishes, really? oh yeah, hands dish panned
for her pleasure, guaranteed and he looks
at me all serious, screws his eyes into
intensity, fingers drumming on the thick
varnished wood and says,
but you don't understand

so i say, how about them Lakers,
which perks him right up, lips flying
about the ejections and...but i am
hear nothing, cause i do...

i do understand, and start
sketching on a napkin something,
tonight, i will leave on your pillow.

When all else fails, drop it poetically, it's what all the cool kids do...or at least they do at One Shot Wednesday...so what is stopping you...go, write, visit...and do it poetically. Doors open at 5 pm EST Tuesday.

145 comments:

David Allen Waters said...

it really is all about the intentions, isn't it...another good one man :)

Helen said...

... I may just have to go out and snag me a man!

budh.aaah said...

A truly romantic soul you....

Sue said...

You are a wise husband, my friend. And (I'm willing to bet) a happy one!

;)

Cathleen said...

Growing up up with such a good example,your boys will have very lucky wives someday.

Bridgette said...

LOVE this. I wish more men did things "just because." Great story (as always).

Daniel said...

Lovely post. Now if I only had someone to do the dishes with and for ....

Heather said...

oh yes, it's totally the little things that make us girls swoon for our men....this is sweet and so romantic!

Mama Zen said...

If only more men understood the power of the back rub without intention!

drybottomgirl said...

God has blessed your wife abudently......and may you both continue to have many happy years together. And thanks for the reminder that it's so many of the little things that really count....

Corinna said...

i'm going to run all my dates past you before getting serious with any of them.

5thsister said...

Sigh. I echo Sue and Cathleen's sentiments on this one. When you publish your poetry book I want an autographed copy, okay...then I shall read aloud to my husband when the day is done...

Brian Miller said...

corinna, that might be a future occupation of mine...i can screen them, re educate them as needed...ha

James Rainsford said...

A captivating poem full of nuanced and acute observation informed by experience. I enjoyed this Brian. Thanks for sharing.

Stafford Ray said...

This should be included in marriage manuals!
Happy wife=happy marriage.

kkrige said...

I love that you understand Brian. You constantly make me smile my friend.

And remind me to only settle for the best. <3

K

Shanae Branham said...

I hope that what he sketches and places on her pillow gives him an evening of deep intimacy.

signed...bkm said...

It is all intentions - in everything...if sex or prayer are not done blessed with intention...nothing can ever change or be true to itself...nice writing Brian...bkm

Myrna R. said...

I'm so glad I can honestly say my husband is the most romantic guy I know. Not only does he do the dishes, but he cooks. Wish more guys would realize what is interpreted as sexy by women. I love how you express this relationship dynamic.

dustus said...

I'm really hoping that first line is rhetorical... otherwise, "how about them Lakers!" lol Very creative write, Brian. Intricate, as well as suggestive with cool flow.

Claudia said...

you probably solved the mystery of having good sex in relationships....off to do the dishes and kiss him like i'm dying...smiles

Vicki Lane said...

Yep, the 'without intentions' part is the biggie...

Scott said...

Everyone up here in Nor Cal is pretty happy about the Lakers' demise (generally speaking). Not the transplants, but the natives (just taking the lead from Dusts who had a VERY funny comment, by the way).
I like that opening stanza a lot! It was a perfect way to draw the line.

ModernMom said...

....oh it really is about the connection, the intention:) Well done!

Raven said...

You mean men actually do stuff like the dishes? You learn something new ever day. ;)

Seriously though, your wife is one lucky woman. There aren't many like you around.

Sophia said...

OK first off, I was like.....((whhhaaA????? He just wrote that?!))) LOL Good points, though. One question, what do you tell those who have done those things for their spouse and still don't get the sex?! Sorry....have a friend here where I live who did all of that and their marriage still ended. Then again....maybe I'm reading more into this poem....ok...done babbling now. LOL

Maggie May said...

I like the idea of a back massage with no intentions!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Dulce said...

I wish I knew what you wrote there. Lucky she is to have you, man.:-)
Sweet sensitive One!

Brian Miller said...

woot...totally unrelated stuff...but my oldest son (8) just got invited to the casting call for the new Spielburg movie about Lincoln to try for the part as Lincoln's son Tad...

Pat said...

Do you want my husband's email? Or how about his phone number? You ROCK, man! Did I tell you that I love you? I did? Oh. Never mind.

hedgewitch said...

No bond, no attraction. No attraction, lots of headaches. Love is giving, not forever withdrawing from a magically refilling account where the check never bounces. Fine poem that dives right into the heart of things.

Dragonblogger said...

Very interesting poem, like the intentions and "just because" relationships are about give more than take. (As long as each person gives instead of one giving and one only taking)

anthonynorth said...

Yep, it's the little things that count.

repressedsoul said...

I'd like to make it clear this wasn't the reason for my divorce! Oh trust me to joke about it, but you've written here what happens all to easily in a long term relationship, the dishes take priority. The honesty here reminds me of a Woody Allen film, now where's my foot rub?

Madame DeFarge said...

Much easier having a dishwasher. Makes the transactions easier to calculate!

Elaine said...

Oh Brian! Just incredible!Nuff said!

Natasha said...

What I wouldn't give for just a bit of warm up! Perhaps the day or week before :) Not sure how hubby would feel about a poetic rant on such a topic, so I should probably limit my comment to form and structure, right? Again, you have taken what is, I'm sure, more common than we'd like to admit, and turned it into an awesome write. Oh damn! I hear the dishwasher! lol

lori said...

so, i guess we're both thinking about depressing relationships that just aren't working. sad but truer than ever these days. some are still blessed with genuine love, and i'm thankful to be among them.

Beachanny said...

Oh for the days of paradise - they fall away so swiftly in the tedium of another not so brilliant day and then as quick as an autumn storm, it's all over and one of you is gone. Grab life by the horns, make love like there's no tomorrow..because there isn't always a tomorrow. Brilliant piece of work, Brian, as always. Gay

Joybird said...

Hard won wisdom from a guy who shares his love poems. And I've asked ya, so I kow you share them with your wife. If, I ever have a husband and if, he ever needs this advice, I'll send him over to you and request that he not discuss the Lakers ;)

kez said...

its the little things that do count ....not that I don't like the grand gestures too. think every happy marriage knows the truth. well put thank you

tolbert said...

Good work Brian! For those who are younger I will say this...my wife and I will celebrate our thirty year anniversary later this month and it only gets better!

Great written ejaculation my friend!

Carrie Burtt said...

You are a brilliant man Brian....this is a wise lesson in the karma of a relationship. :-)

Aquarius63 said...

So many seem to linger on what their partner does not do rather than what they themselves do not do, the little things mean so much. Great write Brian.

Anita.

Monkey Man said...

Wife appreciation is good. With notes on the pillow especially.

C Rose said...

As always your architecture and design is clever and designed to poetic beauty. I loved it, so many people stand there, when the cure is so small, and the prevention only an ounce...I'm glad you made a note ;) ~ Rose

Pat Hatt said...

hahaha the love doctor is in it seems
Sure gave the lazy bones some reams
Maybe you should write a book
Giving all the ummmm once a month guys a place to look
Right now no need for me to worry about that though
As a cat those things one don't need to show..lol

blueviolet said...

If women suspect something is done with the expectation for something more, forget about it. You get paid when you work for free.

wkkortas said...

Rollicking piece, threatens to careen of the track, but never does. Wry, knowing, funny work.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Very nicely done...

Betsy said...

Ah, Brian, you are so wise. And the other guy? Well, he's typical.

tracy said...

Oh, baby, you had me at the first line. LOL. I thought the wind was blowing. It was just the collective sigh of all the women out here reading WaystationOne today. :-)

Laurie Kolp said...

A romantic and enlightening piece... thanks!

Joann said...

I know a pope who speaks of self donation. Now, I know a poet who understands and brings it to life.

The Retired One said...

are you SURE you weren't a woman in some former life, Brian? Because you understand..completely!! What a great piece of writing!

Pauline said...

I never ever leave here unsatisfied - that was a masterpiece :)

ayala said...

smiles...Brian,sounds like you run a happy home. It is all about the intention....such as wanting to do the dishes...smart man!

Elizabeth Young said...

Great poem Brian, you obviously 'get it' that it's all about setting the scene - a home filled with an atmosphere of sacrifice, fun and love in small ways as well as great.

lynnaima said...

I enjoyed this, made me smile and wonder uhm. I will take a look at my calendar to confirm when (smh)
Thanks for the visit, much appreciated :)

Steve E said...

Yes, yes, yes. I DO the dishes. Always. But that just don't DO it! Flowers? Because it's raining?

So, "Here's some flowers. Ya don't need to water them, cause it's been raining--snort!"

PEACE!

KB said...

Back rub....mmmmmm

... Paige said...

whoa, that was great!

Henry Clemmns said...

Very good. It is the little things that make the special things special. Great write.

Jannie Funster said...

Ahhhhh, he is missing out. Those mad chases around the house -- ust watch out for chair legs in the dining room. Poor Jim has ended up with stubbed toes on a couple occasions.

EXCELLENT poem!!

xo

Andy said...

Laughing...hey Brian, you sound like you took a page out of my book!

I have to say...it works for me everytime...but you forgot to mention the painted toes!!!

Excellent writing, my friend.

Ginny said...

Interesting to see how many are missing that playful spontaneity that once existed. Would say you quite nailed it with this one!! Nice to see it put into words! Definitely a lesson here to those who might be open to listen!!

Tara Miller said...

Oh yes, the little things speak volumes to our heart - as well as knowing one another's love language....and you speak mine well my love with the spontaneous tender kisses, love and affection.

The chase is always fun too....;)

Lori said...

LOVE! Your wife is a lucky woman but I am pretty sure you are too. It's awesome to read things like this in a world that jumps from one relationship to the next once the going gets tough. So thankful I got this chance to stop by and say hello and be blessed by your words. XX

Mystic Margarita said...

Only goes to prove that romance lies in little things like notes left on the pillow. Beautiful! :)

LM Lawrence said...

It's the little things that make a happy wife! Love this!

Cloudia said...

the 'little things' are HUGE!



Aloha from Waikiki


Comfort Spiral

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Margie said...

I've only been reading your poetry for a few days but how I love what you write!
Such a romantic you are!
Wonderful poem!

Randy Behavior said...

Lucky, lucky girl. I bet she rewards you well.

Margaret said...

...with no intentions. Hmm. And dishpan hands.

Did you mention clean toilets? That is a real winner for me. Really enjoyed this! :)

Kavita said...

awesome awesome awesome!! Spoken like a true gentleman, Bri! One who "understands" :)

"left a love note laying, not lying" -- I totally LOVED that line...has an amazing depth to it!

ladyfi said...

Amen- you have really hit the nail on the head here!

Matt Coughlan said...

There is so much wisdom in this poem that my head...oh no...my head--

*headexplode*

"so i say, how about them Lakers,
which perks him right up"

...made me chuckle. Excellent poem. :D

Radhika said...

'gave her a back rub without intention, much less her feet, brought her flowers
at work, but because it was raining, kissed her like you were dying, sang her favorite song off key, left a love note laying, not lying or chased her around the house just to embrace
or whisper' i do not know how many times i read your poem, have to read these particular lines to my husband. Thanks for the beautiful poem, feels like you have written what many women desire from their spouses. Radhika

TALON said...

You tucked some sound advice in this poem, Brian. Too often men just don't get it.

She Writes said...

Brian you nailed some of the ways that a woman's attraction slips FOREVER away at the hands of a selfish man. Bravo.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

Ha..this was a great Brian.
And yes,sex starts waaayyy before
the act..Well,the good and meaningful
sex does anyways.

Apryl Gonzales said...

Lucky girl! Love this piece, full of surprises and rhythm. Well done Brian :)

lucychili said...

youre crafting good fortune
with small treasures =)

libraryscene said...

damn...you've one lucky wife (smiles)...my favorite line
"left a love note laying, not lying" absolutely...excellent write ~
(btw, saw tweet about your son...sweet!)

moondustwriter said...

Great Brian
This should be written as a manual
Poetic one of course,,,

Moonie

Eileen said...

Puts perfectly into words something that needs saying.

Dianne said...

hey, you been reading my journal again??????
I always say, there ain't no mojo if the affection is absent during the day,
Di

nance marie said...

oh popeye, you are so romantical...

pandamoniumcat said...

Excellent poem and you know I really hate football season but I can put up with it cos my hubby will do the dishes, he will cook me dinner, the back rub??? But you can't have everything. If anything your words have made me realise how lucky I am! Great write!

Alan Burnett said...

Yeh, all that - and buy her a bag of fish and chips every so often. Sure keeps em happy.

Valerie said...

Yes, forming a relatonship is definitely a two-way deal.

Sally J said...

I though of sending this to my other half, but he would say 'I don't do poetry', and my answer would be, 'but this is life, not poetry!'. Love it Brian. How wise you are.

Greyscale Territory said...

Romance without the moon and the stars and the roses! This is real romance that lingers!

Baino said...

Ahh .. talk the talk? Also need to walk the walk.

Lorraine said...

Good for you Brian, good foryour lovely wife...wow doyou ever tell it like it is could be wuld be lol

TechnoBabe said...

No, he just doesn't understand. How much fun he could be having, teaching her and encouraging her.

Jerry said...

the truth cuts deep sometimes...to really put another first, especially the mate of your life, always starts with willful choices and answers to the alter commitment so many years ago..."YES"
The deflation part and not having a quarter at the air pump...brilliant.
Thanks Brian, once again truth will prevail.

Umeshnrao said...

Nice poem! :)

Austin said...

perfect

mrs mediocrity said...

felt this, in my heart.

tarunima said...

what a wise post! you are brilliant:))
i sure will have to make my future partner read such wise lines!
kudos!
keep rocking

Penny said...

Two sides to every story. You've done a great job of pointing that out here. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt.

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

I'm never smart enough to write any worthy comments on your blog but know that I read it and I love it :)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

accountability is a good thing, open minded understanding even better, the willingness to try a suggestion or two over a period of time, the best :)

Brian Miller said...

sex, drugs and bacon sandwiches, that is bunk and you know it...smiles. the unworthy part...you are..we all are...smiles.

Boozy Tooth said...

Greetings from Casa Hice. What a lovely surprise to find after all these months. So good to see you again. And wow. Just wow.

Ann Grenier said...

You are always right in the picture, Brian. Your description and images are perfect.

Barbara said...

You're a smart cookie, Brian. And you've got a lucky wife. The back rub without intention comment was a doozey.

Duane Scott said...

I absolutely love this! :)

Kamana said...

now, i need to show this to my husband!

Anna said...

Excellent advice, in poetic form!

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

Think reciprocation, people. You get what you give. Simple.

My wife had a sweatshirt that summed it up nicely: "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

Chris G. said...

Drop it poetically...we could all learn a thing or two from you, Brian. Romantic and sweet...and you know what's a good sign? Just look how many women on these comments your words set to swooning. Oh dears. Haha. Fine work though my friend.

Bossy Betty said...

How about them Lakers? To some men, that's foreplay....

Lolamouse said...

Brian,
Flowers for no reason and backrubs w/o intention are 2 of the best things a husband can do to make a wife happy. Happy wife, happy life!

lizziviggi said...

Brilliant insights and brilliantly written, too.

Azalia Suhaimi said...

So real yet romantic! Great job, Brian :-)

arspoetica said...

lovely story, lovely sentiment. it's not for naught that they say poets make the best lovers...

The Empress said...

Oh, that one killed me.

Oh, yes, deep breaths.

Life.

jackie dick said...

Ya have an older brother, maybe? LOL! Great, Brian!

jackiedick said...

You have an older brother maybe? LOL! Great, Brian!

Rachel said...

I'll have to admit that first line made me blush a bit, but once again clever poem full of good advice.

The Linnet said...

Very clever poem, I like it.

Thanks for sharing :)

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

Great story, this poem rocks

Barbara Shallue said...

Ah, yes, you understand. Too many men don't, and then wonder what happened?

Bristol said...

This made me ache. So much beauty, wisdom, and humility comes through your words.

Tino said...

We all need a kick up the arse when the complacency sets in.

It was very easy to picture the scene you describe.

Nimue said...

Awesome !! so much full of love .. sigh !!

Who Is Afraid Of Miss Lovett? No, Mrs.Lovett... said...

"o i say, how about them Lakers,
which perks him right up, lips flying..."

LOL!

Hi! Brian...
When it comes to your words in this post...
Not that I'am an expert when it comes to "advice," but I think this man should start to rethink how he treat the woman in his "life."

[Postscript:a hat-tip to the Pat Hatt]
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee :-/

Fireblossom said...

I think that this may be my favorite of yours, ever. Cause and effect, baby!

I hear the men where I work talk to each other, and 95% of it is sports. I think, if that's all I ever got to talk about, I would hang myself.

I love the ending of this. I love the whole thing. And I'll wager your wife loves YOU.

Stranger said...

Oh Brian. You get it! If this what you believe and how you act, your wife is very lucky lady and I hope she is as generous and loving towards you.

Beautiful.

Have you read the Roald Dahl story "Switch Bitch"? It's a comedy from the perspective of the less involved lover.

gayle said...

My favorite!!
If only more men knew this! It's so many little things that make us feel loved!

Vernon Wildy Jr said...

I like how you brought in the Lakers into this poem. Some guys miss all the little things but will stop the earth for a game.

LeahJ.Lynn said...

I love the not having intentions part.Those are the best moments I feel in a relationship. just doing something special because. Love

The Fool said...

Nice one. Very pragmatic words of wisdom.

violet said...

What a romantic soul are you! Was this a conversation with your alter ego self?

♥ Braja said...

well you were bound to get a huge response from the women with that one....

:)

awitchtrying said...

Oh my! A back rub without intention? Beautiful!! Every man needs to read this, you get what a woman wants. How wonderful! You have a lucky love!! Kiss her like you're dying- sigh... We should all kiss like we're dying. Hail romance!! So glad it's not dead!!

Magpie said...

It took me like 10 seconds (that's a long time) to scroll down through all the comments to get to where I could leave you my words of wisdom and insight. You have become famous! This one obviously struck a note with lots of people. You said it all so perfectly and still I wonder how many won't understand. Always looking for what's in it for them. :)

Goofball said...

you understand women so well

Sheila Moore said...

aw, wish he would have seen the light - at least you tried...

PattiKen said...

It's always her fault when the magic fades, isn't it? Yeah, thought so.

haikulovesongs said...

i swear, poets are the most romantic people on earth. and being sensitive enough, tuned in enough to know that doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom mirror or writing a love poem just for her is what she really wants, then that makes you the most romantic man she's ever known. {and vice versa of course.}

but kissing like you were dying has got to be one of THE BEST things anyone could do!

Suja said...

Enjoyed this one Brian.. You said it! :)

Syd said...

When we forget the person who we are closest too, lots of things quit happening. I am glad that I am a romantic at heart and in deeds.