Tuesday, April 19, 2011

One Shot: Bully, Ho!

ask me why a boy would bring
and assault rifle to school
and i'll tell you, not to be cool
like billy the kidd said, as emilio estavez,
"i'll make you famous", thats BS
nor as much respect, as dignity
stolen from me with the intimate kiss
of the piss covered tile floor
stretching wall to stall in the
boys bathroom o'tha school hall,
staring up at the shoes
of the knuckles that fist raped my face
leaving a patchwork bruise

how many times you got to
have your ass handed to you
before a stitch and two
band aids wont do fool

n' at sixteen, i drop a twenty
on the trunk of a car
ina parking lot of montgomery wards
for a cold, post mortem switch blade,
night gleaming blacker'n ace of spade
and he throws in some brass
to wrap my fist, just strike hard and fast
make the first one count and dont miss,
the knife to operate, eviscerate n' evict
he who strikes strife in my life,
yeah i'm talking bout you

how many times you got to
have your ass handed to you
before a stitch and two
band aids wont do fool

as i visualize planting a flag
in the hill of you, so they see
who the bitch is in this relationship
i may be small, not look like as smooth,
don't need numbers to paint by,
sprain my brain just trying to give a rhyme glue
or snatch a pigskin as good as you
but the target now got something
in his pocket too and it's
addressed to you...WOO!

it's over now, the crowd gatherin' round
to hear their lion growl
for today i rewrite history,
embracing my new destiny,
pen thick, strong and thirsty
for a long pull at your neck,
but instead i hold n' take it,
having the means and motive but
just not the stomach,
weak enough to call my own bluff
busted, cartilage crunch,
laid out like the buffet at the
KFC for lunch

how many times you got to
have your ass handed to you
before a stitch and two
band aids wont do fool

but ted, yeah he finally had enough
his exacto going ginsu
drawing the line in the sand of you
from hair line to lip,
and they sent him up,
labeling him psychotic,
but how many of us weren't neurotic
there in the pride lions den
and me not feeling bad may be sin,
but then again bully your mom wins
throwin her clout,
wit the words of her mouth
excusin' the truth,
exoneratin' all you ever did without proof

i grow up as you shut up
talk to the hand, man i no
longer take shit from you
and dont know where the
switchblade went, but that
brass still sits in the bottom
on my art kit, occasionally
winking and as i write n they
rewind me to remind me
how much time i wasted listenin
n receivin' it from you.


Welcome to One Shot Wednesday, if you have never poetically played with us, write a poem, come join us, just follow the link it all begins at 5 pm EST.

119 comments:

AmyLK said...

WOW! Such a powerful picture of what school is like these days. Its scary!

AmyLK said...

I was FIRST!?!?!?! WOW! Do I win something?!?!? lol

ayala said...

Wow, Brian. This was a roller coaster ride very powerful and great!

Pat Hatt said...

Damn you really went all out on this one
Very very well done
You swore a bit too
And a movie reference by you
Exactly what most BS schools are like these days
As things can become quite violent in many different ways

David Allen Waters said...

very relavent to what goes on in todays schools...brilliantly done dude:)

hedgewitch said...

You've really got that pounding relentless feel going, brian,and every word is like a fist punch, on target. The rhyming is insidious and complex but never feels forced. Just excellent stuff, and the sadness has a strong sense of life forcing through that won't be stomped down. It's amazing from line one, but I esp. like the fourth stanza and the last two.

Ocean Girl said...

Wow what power, look who's not yawning now.

Brian Miller said...

haha OG...

yeah went outside my usual voice on this one...original write was prose, but Claudia challenged me to spin it rap style...it is a true tale though of my school years...do still have the brass knuckles but i really dont know what i did with the switch blade...

rosaria said...

Ouch! This is quite a picture, quite a shot. Now, get a rapper to sing it and you can sit at the Trump's Casino and cash it in.
The bullies though have already shut it down.

Sue said...

This one packed a wallop.

=)

5thsister said...

awestruck by the sheer intensity of this piece. i believe one of your best to date. and as one who, too, was bullied (by words, from girls, who weren't as petite as I) this packed a wallop.

Duane Scott said...

I LOVE this poem, Brian.

Really really great.

Bossy Betty said...

This one got me all upset. It rings so true and is so scary.

Mighty M said...

You've come a long way....

bumfuzzled said...

the term "noir" came to mind. gritty hard-hitting and all too true. great oneshot, brian!

Monty / bummy

Nancy said...

So frightening. Now with a daughter heading into the teaching profession I get to worry all over again.

Valerie said...

OMG are schools really that bad?

Steve E said...

This is GREAT 'reporting'.

Brian, I have a M A Degree in Music Ed, but only used it ONE WEEK before I knew I was out of my element. Never looked back on that. NO regrets!

You must have fun creating a piece like this, especially as you near the end (or whatever was written last) and realize what fine work you have done. You and God, the Giver of all talent, the Author of all creativity.
PEACE!

Steve E said...

AmyLK, I think you won FIRST PLACE--grin!

tattytiara said...

There's a voice I haven't heard here before.

annell said...

I think that is a very original write, and you write with authority...kids don't have it easy today....maybe they never did?

Raven said...

Powerful, poignant and so sad.

Corinna said...

kickin' some ass! i pity the fool, who messes with you. (great stuff!)

Daniel said...

Dude, this is seething with power and aggression. I feel it bubbling off the screen in front of me.

deb colarossi said...

It 's not easy to write this kind of stuff in a way that still invokes empathy..

and I'm glad you no longer have the switchblade :)

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
Thanks, for sharing
The very powerful words too!
The very powerful message too!
This poem is very well-written too!
[Bullying and Violence...Will Never Get You Anywhere Positive in Life!]
DeeDee :-/

Vicki Lane said...

Terrific voice! I love all the inner rhyme.

Kaylen said...

Ha - rewind me to remind me -LOVE that line!!

Captain Dumbass said...

I was lucky to have very big friends in HS, I worry about my kids though.

Dulce said...

Oh boy! those boys (girls too?) but ohh- boys can be... can get so far in bullying and hurting... Why? Always WHY!?
... what families do they come from so as to 'be' that way...
You really said it so well here , my dear friend, Brian.

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

6 year old Bring Gun To School.
Hi! again, Brian...
I'am not sure if this kid was being bullied, but this story is very frightening just the same.
[Your post is very apropos...]

Claudia said...

eminem would be envious if he read this...so where's your rap cap...? i can hear it - i really can - the words, beat, music...it's just hyper cool and i LOVE it..!!

repressedsoul said...

I taught for a few yeaars and during that time they implemented searches for weapons. Quite scary really, you really get into the kids heads with this one Brian well done.

Goofball said...

scary school environment

Barbara Shallue said...

Whew! so powerful! You have such a way of slipping right into someone's head and thoughts, and bringing them to life for us!

Belinda said...

I get a strange sensation when I hold an exacto knife and this excellent piece grabbed my hand and dragged that sharp end all over bare skin. Very effective one shot, Brian.

happygirl said...

And that was a year or two ago, wasn't it. The words were punching through my brain, making me insane, thinking of the way I let my child in the wild and strange land of middle school.

That is where he was stabbed with the exacto knife a dozen times during class.

Scott said...

All I can say is: bust a rhyme. And you did. We just need to lay down a track and might have a hit on your hands. Good stuff.

PattiKen said...

I'm kind of glad that Ted "drew the line" and put an end to it. I wish the teachers and administration did more to put an end to bullying, though.

Powerful piece, Brian.

Mom said...

Bullying is nothing new in schools..now gets some recognition..used to always be swept under the rug and not attended to...very powerful piece, son...I can think of many places this should be shared with adults and kids.

Suz said...

Montgomery Wards gave it away
but if it made him who he is today
...did you get my email about Charlie Rossiter?
He'd like this one

Eva Gallant said...

Wow; what a heart-stopping account of what happens in schools today! I just finished reading "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult on this subject. Very upsetting.

Josh Hoyt said...

This is a wonderful picture that you have painted. Great job and good job getting into the minds of others.

wolfsrosebud said...

Too bad it's gotta be that way... thanks for the reality check.

anthonynorth said...

You've captured his mind there perfectly.

tolbert said...

Outstanding again Brian...do you think we will ever learn? I wish I could be more optimistic about the level of caring in the world, but as you had written here...how?

You nailed it head on again!

Leslie said...

E$xacto - my weapon of choice

Pow Brian that's a heavy one and I know you live around this - my kid is surrounded by this each day as she goes to school.

A world upside down - who wins???

Moonie

Anthony Desmond said...

ohhhhh pullin out the hip hop flow for this, huh my man? great work!

L.L. Barkat said...

"i grow up as you shut up"

that just stood out. i loved that.

lori said...

So, this first stanza was just amazing. It pulled me in, and kept me wanting more, which you gave. I still remember when I saw my first fight in junior high. I was so nauseous I thought I would be sick.

It breaks my heart that any child would have to defend himself to this extreme, but it happens all the time. You were one tough kid, it seems.

Another masterpiece :)

Asobime said...

Wow, Brian, is this really what school is like these days?

Jesu! I'm glad I am so much older, and we made each other cry, bit hands, slapped faces and pulled hair, but none of this violence.

In fact, I can't even remember it getting so bad that parents or school officials were involved.

as to the poem: powerful, powerful, topical stuff. You got the rhythm going and you don't miss a step.

This is almost music, dude. Great poem, and keep it coming.

I like the mental transition towards the end...you still have the brass in the artbox....winking at you,....just in case...LOL!

GREAT poem....the flow is wonderful, something I won't forget in a long time. A lot of what I call "urban" poetry is just blowheart stuff...big mouth talking, but you are walking the line.

Lady Nyo

Jannie Funster said...

Geez, I'm so glad I got out of school teaching. That probably sounds awful of me, but it's how I feel.

I never had brass knuckles on. Can you get different sizes? :) Womens small for me, I guess.

xo

Carrie Burtt said...

I am with Claudia, Eminem would be envious! :-)

Alegria Imperial said...

Wow! No other way to read it but live and rapping. I almost stood up imitating the spirit as your poem becomes--the spirit of this age, the reality of places, bodies, words spoken in corners where children create worlds. I love it, Chris! Thanks fo rthe experience!

Glynn said...

There it is, one the chief causes of the mayhem - the humiliation and terror building up into an explosion. Well done, Brian.

liv2write2day said...

Brian, this is a sobering, painful rant that puts me right into he head of a kid that was bullied. Applause...

Rob said...

Bullies suck.

Fireblossom said...

You drop your g's in this. Appalling.

Deidra said...

I took this one in the gut. I love it when you rap. I lay down a beat in my head and groove right along with the truth that you unfold. Tough truth.

This...how many times does a person have to have his ass handed to him? There's far too much ass-handing going on these days.

tracy said...

Darn, what has happened to us? Is it the same stuff we went through when we were younger and just expressed it differently? I don't think so...

Don't Want A Real Job said...

I love the voice that you used in this piece...the power is great...nice write...I'm a fan.

Cheers,

Nathan.

Greyscale Territory said...

The gruff, bully mentality rings through this rhythmic spill of gross reality! A terrifi read!

River said...

Brian you portrayed the world of school these days excellently with the violence and bullying. The reality learned from adults and the media.

Ann Grenier said...

Oh my God, Brian. I had to read very quickly, almost scan. The poem is too real, upsetting . You had a powerful effect on everyone who commented. What a painful world.

Cathy said...

Powerful. Sobering. You scared me out of my wits...

Vodka Mom said...

holy all that is holy.




you NEVER cease to amaze me. Just treat your wife and kids like gold and you WILL be the perfect man.

Heather said...

nicely done. bullying makes me so mad. It happens everywhere, and it is scary.

Maggie said...

Very true, very scary. This is what many kids live these days.

Tara Miller said...

You write a powerful piece on what it's like to be bullied. I'd like to hear you read this one, love. I do wonder what is at the core of the bully that causes him/her to act out in this way.

Andy said...

Flippin' heck! This is a surprise from you Brian.
Very powerful words. I could feel your aggression. Great write and One Shot.

(Thanks for comment you left on my blog...had me laughing)

versebender said...

Hey, Brian...this is great...raw but rings true. (Between us...proves a piece can be long...but not suffer from "profligate verbiage") All bone, no gristle here. Vb

sonny said...

am glad you got rid of the switchblade....you are an amazing man brian...its a pleasure knowing you through your words...xoxo

Sheila Moore said...

excellent...I talk big but don't have the stomach to follow through with violence either, Brian. Must be why the pen became my "weapon" as is yours...although, might I suggest you get those brass knuckles out of your art kit....just in case ;)

ladyfi said...

Wow - powerful stuff!

Mari said...

I heard pounding song lyrics within the first ten words and took notice. Really great work you have here!

pandamoniumcat said...

This is a great poem, a great voice for the subject. A literary gem! Great work!

Ami Mattison said...

Fantastic rap, Brian! You've really gotten into the psyche of those who get bullied and their fantasies and all too often realities of revenge. But the best part is the end with the art kit and the suggestion that there are ways to sublimate pain. Great job!

Shadow said...

this is all too real. your writing is magnificent!

Bradley J. Moore said...

You packed it in there, man. Great stuff.

Sally J said...

Frighteningly true and powerfully written. This is scary. I wish we could find a better way to control the bullies wherever they ply their cowardly trade.

joanny said...

Very powerful and emotive poem Brian.

Very sad,,,that it is life for such young souls.

Nice one shot,,

joanny

Just Be Real said...

Gosh, I am so much left out of the loop. I have no clue what really goes on in schools these days. Great post. Wow

JStar said...

Brian this is sad but a reality...Kids go wayyyy toooo far!

I just dealt with my youngest daughter bullying a girl...Beat her up for no reason...

James Rainsford said...

This is a powerful and tragic commentary on contemporary education. Having been a teacher I recognise much in this which is both true and also sad.

Aquarius63 said...

Powerful and profound words Brian, such things happened down the years and probably always have, it's just more exposed these days, but people still turn a blind eye and are ignorant to it. My son starts high school in September and I worry. Great write.

Anita.

Lorraine said...

Intense...I want to cry

yellowhousecafe said...

you took me back to the days...art class for certain, but fights (more than one) with shot guns ..rap took a shine big back then (tu pac), so this (oddly) made me smile... amazing lines too, "fist raped my face" is brilliant... ermm, where is the audio link, btw????

Theron Kennedy said...

I know what this feels like. thanks for writing and sharing. I appreciate the reads and comments you leave on my blog also.

blueviolet said...

I can't even imagine having to worry about getting the crap beaten out of you all the time. It's rough out there for too many.

The Empress said...

I remember reading a wonderful book, about an ex gang member turned gang counselour.

I wish I could remember his name: let me look it up:

Here it is: Luis J Rodriguez. And he wrote Always Running: La Vida Loca. The story, and the poems that came out of there: jaw dropping and heart stopping. The poetry book I remember: Poems across the Pavement.

ANYWAY: he has this line in the book that I will always remember: "When a gang member shoots, he shoots more than just his target. He shoots all the hate he's had in his life. He shoots the people that have dissed him, he shoots the father that was never there.
It's never just about one bullet for one, it's one bullet for all of them."

If you, B...the books are at most libraries. Incredible hair raising glimpses into lives we know nothing of.

honeyhaiku said...

Wow, this is an extremely powerful piece. So revealing. Thank you.

Maggie May said...

I thought school was bad enough when I was young..... but if this is really what school is like today, then we have taken a step or two backwards.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

TALON said...

Powerful write, Brian.

Patricia Caspers said...

Ouch. This is painful. But

rewind me to remind me
how much time i wasted listenin
n receivin' it from you.

That ending nails it.

ModernMom said...

Wow! One of my favorites!

signed...bkm said...

Great to hear you outside your normal voicing of words...this is a great piece that must have gave you some release in writing.....the schools are frightening...and there seems to be no solution for there workings at this time....do not hold back this voice...it is a great one...bkm

budh.aaah said...

Love this Brian..but its an oft repeated sentence here on your comments page - no novelty hmmm :)

coalblack said...

hittin 'em over the head with a guitar works, too, and makes kind of a cool sound.

Kim Nelson said...

Whoa, Brian!
Trying to disturb your readers?
Accomplished!

Vinay said...

oh boy, that's scary! damn scary! yet so true too nowadays! powerful poem, Brian!

and 100th comment! :) cool!

C Rose said...

This was such a compelling piece Brian...I sat here for a while...just in it. Its heartbreaking the notion, this chaos that breeds and I am so impressed with how well you captured that in this poem. Its truth and reality served well by you. ~ Rose

Pastor Sharon said...

I think we are now able to catch a glimpse into the mind of the ones who have taken a "piece" with them to school and used it. And like Empress Mom recited, "used a bullet that shot them all".

Reading this was like standing in the middle of a boxing ring, going on inside the mind of the person beaten by a bully everyday.

Powerful, full of angry energy. . . just looking for an outlet.

Well done.

Marian said...

whew brian, at over 100 comments i am still compelled to share my piece, this is holy wow. and is it wrong that i was visualizing a michael jackson video? really, peace, people.

Christina - Rant Rave Roll said...

So close to home. A local area school had a five year old bring a gun this week. Three kids were injured.

Lolamouse said...

Brian,
I can definitely hear this as a rap. Your words are sadly true. Great write!

Apryl Gonzales said...

Brian, Damn that's good! I'm cheering for you and with you and I feel like playing Rocky music LOL Serious rhymes, hot attitude and smooth elevation of thought. Maybe post audio, I'd love to hear it read! WONDERFUL!

Dasuntoucha said...

Word! Dig the rhythm of this write...ONE

Celestial Dreamz said...

such a powerful write :)

trisha said...

really scary brian.

Olivia said...

You did it once again!

It's a sad image now-a-days. Gone are the children rushing around playing n giggling or even stealing glances when in teens.. now it's stab n kill!!

Peace x

Natasha said...

Brian...sorry for not being here sooner, and not sure you'll even find me at the end of such a fantastic collection of praise for this piece, but ROCK ON! This one's I think, my NEW favorite, (mind you the list is quite long!) and I can easily hear the old school beat to the flow of the powerful and potent word play. Said it once, will say it again, Rock on!

wordsasunder said...

awesome stuff..very lyrical in a rappy kind of way..very well written :)

Titanium said...

I had a feeling you'd pulled this one directly from home base. Maybe it's because I've got the switchblade (like the one you lost), though I always preferred a slapper over brass knuckles.

God, Brian. This one's really charged with electricity. It's the reality for so many young people- then and now.

Reggie said...

Such an incredible write Brian! I REALLY like the style you gave this...picture perfect...my gosh, simply awesome!

haikulovesongs said...

seeing where you said this is a true account... that you still have the brass knuckles... took this from powerful and frightening to painful and terrifying. i'm glad you didn't use the switch blade.

Luke Prater said...

bloody HELL. Is this true? Brian what a totally engrossing, emotional ride this is. Poetry, start to finish, but grit, reality, dealing words upon words to carry the Narrative and paint your scenes. The internal rhyming works a charm in this one. And, just to prove longer poems still work when they're well-written and you've got something to say... bravo, man. The refrain is uber-effective also. consider this a rave review. I'm raving. And reviewing. So it must be. You're becoming one of my favourite poets, if you must know

Salad and Salud to you, Sir

Luke

Magpie said...

I just find it so hard to believe people have to treat each other like this. It really breaks my heart but blows my mind at the same time. What example is being set at home? Well written, Brian.

Syd said...

That one was something. I wonder how many kids have had to fight just to survive school these days.

Joann said...

Like this line: "but that
brass still sits in the bottom
on my art kit, occasionally
winking and as i write"
What's past still informs us.